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I have heard your complaints. This story has a plot line and the deaths will be less random. (I don't do good in grammar so i'll try my best but no promises).

For those of you who haven't played my last game. I'll admit that's it sounds a bit like a child that rambles on and abruptly stops at some point just because. I'd still like it if you would check it out and give it a review with your own opinion.

This new game will be about a group of survivors that find themselves in a real pinch trying to get out of a city 1 year after the zombie apocalypse has started. Running low on fuel on the outskirts of town and having one of there friends go missing they begin to search for things avoiding zombies and human renegades. There will be 2 different Chapter 3's depending on what happens in Chapter 2 and both will have different endings. I'll also be using variables to create a more human character than what I had last time.

Another way I'm creating a better character is by fleshing out the story a bit more and providing flashbacks to key moments throughout the story. I am open to advice so if you have suggestions please post them.

Bye

Zombie_Survivor

Fight the Dead, Fear the Living

Well, good luck with your efforts. Any questions you have, ask them in Writing Workshop or something.

Well you've got the right attitude anyway so that's a good sign. Most people's first game attempt sucks a whole lot, at that point you can either use the criticism to improve or go off in a pout. Most noobs choose the latter.

I'm gonna scoot this thread over to Writing Workshop where you'll hopefully get some more advice.

Thank you.

If you want to do even better in the next outing, maybe you can heavily consider on asking around for a proofreader just in case? I think there's some here who wouldn’t mind the task.

Although your grammar seems to be better in this post. So maybe a suggestion that might be helpful is taking your time and looking over your work trice or thrice if need be. 

Well, good luck on your next story-game. 

Well, this is actually a very good mindset to have. I ripped into your game because most noobs create one game, whine, and quit, usually in a comedic way if you're mean to them. If you actually want to improve, then that's awesome, and you're already in the right mindset (which is really the most important thing)!

You're also on the right track with this post. Just flesh things out: use imagery to help us visualize the scenes, and add dialogue to help us get attached to the characters.

Once again, if you actually keep at it, then you'll be able to improve, so just take the feedback and work on it. Good luck!