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I've been working on my second storygame and this one has a character that just wants to murder everyone. I want the character to have an unhinged personality, but I can't help but drift to what is basically rip-off comic book joker.

Does anyone have any experience with writing crazier characters? I'd love to hear any advice on how best to write such characters.

NOTE: This isn't the protagonist; they are more like a secondary antagonist, so I won't be able to explain what they're thinking and stuff because of POV restrictions.

Well my main character in Terrorist was commended for having a strong voice.

I'll give it a looksie. My character would also technically qualify as a terrorist, I guess.

EDIT: Ok, what the hell was that first sentence lol?

Who said that? I need sources here because all I remember is you writing a lot of weird, mostly gay erotica

EDIT: Alright, I see the one comment where Darius said that, but that's between the other reviews who see him as a one dimensional cardboard stereotype (which Darius probably wouldn't disagree with)

That was just me trying to be nice, but apparently he didn't remember the other 600 words where I said that the story was crap.

And having a strong voice doesn't necessarily mean that a character is fleshed out or well written, I may add, and fleshed out and well written isn't necessarily what I would use to describe the protagonist of Terrorist.

So yeah, Petros is right. 

When it's not a POV character, nothing's saying they have to talk much about their motivation either. It might work just keeping them as someone whose actions speak for themselves. Pure pychopath characters typically do come off as kind of darkly humorous and over the top absurd anyway, if that's not the tone intended then they may benefit from being obscured from the spotlight a little.

Actions eh? Thanks for the idea. I definitely have some new approaches that I could try based on that advice.

Just make sure he's got a great skincare routine please.  Never leaves the house without sunscreen, dermapens monthly, etc. Finally, a relateable protagonist. 

A psychopath with a quirk? I love that!

Unfortunately, I only plan for this character to appear in maybe two to three scenes so I don't know if I will be able to naturally have them discuss/portray said quirks without making it seem like it was crammed in. Can't hurt to try though XD

Yeah, I mean what mizal said sounds like a good idea. I think other ways to not make them "joker like" Is to add little quirks like that. Jokers entire thing is more so "WHY so SERIOUS, HAHAHA"

Best way is what mizal said, or just portray him as quite polished maybe? As opposed to the joker. Maybe describe how neat his hair and appearance is, with a subtle glint of white cast from his sunscreen not being rub in properly 

I want this character to be more of a mad dog type. Though, now that I think about it, there's another character who I could use the polished quirk with.

One thing you can do is to start from one random premise e.g. "cats are evil", "there is no fire brigade", "all apples are secretly blue on the inside" then try to reconcile this with normal perceptions of the world and ask some critical questions. "Why are cats so evil? How do they plan their evil acts?", "So what do the people who are allegedly on the fire brigade really? Who pays them? How are they recruited?"

You pretty quickly end up with a very weird world view that is very deranged but internally consistent. If you think that all humans are somehow conditioned from noticing that the insides of apples are blue then maybe you would react pretty extremely if someone slices an apple because you don't want your conditioning to activate.

Interesting thought. In my case, the character is kind of like a vampire, where they have to kill humans in order to survive. The other members of his group mostly just want to kill for that purpose, but this one coincidentally also happens to enjoy killing. I'd probably have to come up with some sort of reverse premise that weirdly justifies why he likes killing. I could definitely see this adding some depth. Thanks for the thought :]

Oh that sounds so cool. Maybe he believes vampires are the true humans and normal people are all wretched that have turned away from gods path. The story of Cain in the bible is actually a hint from God regarding how the world can be cleansed from evil, i.e. kill all the humans, drink their blood.

One of the stories I seriously considered maybe trying to write was a story with a vampire hunter or detective, where you're forced to drink blood to survive, but there's this vampire harvesting underworld (ofc) and as the vampire hunter you can either be corrupt and join them or fight them, but in the end I've just learnt  that I'm " more of an ideas guy myself"

Two words: vampire rabies

The plot thickens! How did the vampire rabies come to be? Maybe a vampire sucked the blood of a human with a new novel blood type, yeah, that's my suggestion. Better yet, they sucked the blood of a bat in Wuhan. 

Lol, simple and efficient

If you want them to enjoy killing, you could maybe reverse the concept of "A Clockwork Orange." Maybe they started out being revolted by violence and killing, but mentors conditioned them to associate pleasure with acts of violence. Maybe they even did it to themselves in order to achieve some kind of goal

I probably won't have the opportunity to go in depth into their back story, so for the time being I'll probably leave it somewhat vague. Still, trained soldier/assassin is an interesting idea.

You could just make it so they're like the predators from Aliens vs predators, they just love hunting and a good challenge. Some humans do too. 

Mm, we'll see. I don't exactly want him to be too relatable though.

I actually think psychopaths are more terrifying when they're a little relatable. It makes them feel like they could be real, and thinking about people like that being actually out there is a lot more scary than them being in a story. Also, it's scary to see little bits of yourself reflected in a maniac.

I see. I guess that could make him inspire a bit more of a nuanced kind of horror. I suppose I shouldn't actively go out of my way to make him not relatable.

Some things to consider that might drive how this character appears and acts:

Do the character know they're unhinged? Are they aware that they are a lunatic? Or do they think they're right and everyone else is wrong? Are they motivated to murder because everyone else is unworthy? Or do they want to murder because that's just what they do?

Consider what the character thinks and how they relate to the world and that might help you figure how they will act.

Thanks for the advice. I'll keep these questions in mind when figuring out this character.

Right now, I'm thinking he would consider anyone who calls him a lunatic/monster guilty of hypocrisy. His reasoning may be something along the lines of humans being okay with taking lesser life to sustain their own, but having issue when he does the same thing to humans. Any torture he does to his victims before he kills them is basically part of the "cooking" process.

Of course, I might change any of this as I proceed but this sort of seems to fit the way he behaves right now.

The others have already given advice about the character himself, so I'll just write a bit about portraying him in relation to other characters.

To make him appear unhinged, he has to seem that way especially in comparison to other characters. For instance, in a grimdark world where murder is the norm, no one would bat an eye at a murderer. Yet if it's a civilized society where even littering is seen as a grave crime, then shoving someone else into a thorn bush would appear psycopathic. Essentially, first establish what 'normal behaviour' is in your setting, then show how he deviates from this norm.

Another important thing is to consider the voice of your narrator. Usually, stories are written from the perspective of the protagonist, so the way the protagonist perceives this character influences the reader's own perception. It might have to do with them having contrasting morals, e.g. character foils. You can change the way that this antagonist is viewed based on how the protagonist reacts to his actions.

The tone of the story influences a lot too, as depending on whether you frame his murders as severe or humorous, the reader's perception of this character shifts. Pacing plays a role as well - for a more impactful murder, take time to characterize the details surrounding it, such as the backstory of the victim and how gruesome the method of murder was. 

The protagonist in this case isn't exactly a detective so there may not be any reason that they would be given a break-down of the gruesomeness of the killer. Even still, I definitely have a few new ideas thanks to this thread. I'm definitely going to try and make the best use of the protagonist's reactions to act as a foil to the killer's actions. Thanks for the advice :]

My tip is that even crazy characters have like their internal logic. It may be divorced from what is considered normal or healthy, but for them their view just makes a lot of sense. Remember that these characters are still human, they have motivations, dreams, things they like and dislike. The way they achieve their goals or their goals however are probably morally questionable.

One example is like the real life story of a nurse killing her patients. In her eyes she was relieving her terminally ill patients from their suffering and she was fully convinced that she was doing God's work. Jeffrey Dahmer thought that pouring bleach in his victim's brain is a great idea. 

It depends how grounded you want the story to be; but I suggest looking at real life examples of serial killers, watch their interviews, watch interviews of victims that have made it out alive, these kinda things. See how they tick and how they talk. Most of them don't talk like the joker lol.

Also, if you want this person to have a mental illness, try to look up some diagnostic criteria, it may help you a bit to make the portrayal a bit more authentic.

I don't really have a mental illness in mind. I know how I want him to behave but I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to find a mental illness that would make him behave that way.

Researching serial killers is definitely an interesting idea. I will try that if I find time. Thanks for the advice :]