Dad's Birthday Adventure

I think it's very sweet and cute you made this for your dads birthday, and it was somewhat fun to read through.

However, it was completely illogical and made no sense at some points. I feel like you tried to incorporate random humor in this, and it didn't work in my opinion. Try developing your plot better so you don't have to use this as a substitute.

It was a bit cliche, and the plot appeared to be made up as it was written, and it seemed to have been written in a day as well. The short length and not so large word count made for a short storygame overall.

It was very easy, but I don't think you meant for it to be a challenge. The use of items was also entertaining and interesting.

3/8, try harder but you have potential.

Dad's Birthday Adventure felt like a cheesy Brendan Fraser movie for some reason. Father and his family get kidnapped, father must rescue children and wife (which plays the classic damsel in distress), Good triumphs over Evil, everyone's happy. The End.
Hero's journey-esque tale aside, the story isn't too bad. The characters all have consistent personalities. The choices are pretty linear, but do let you explore a little bit.
I did like the puzzle solving elements. Those were pretty good. Great job on that. And good job using the advanced editor!
Overall, a decent story.

couldnt do much i kept getting stuck

This is REALLY good!!!

Hard make it easier

Pretty Good.

It was creative. The writing needs a bit of work though.

Kind of cute that you wrote it for your dad! I do see some shameless self promotion here, haha when i read through the eldest daughter part.

I thought it was really cute, but it was a little short and saving the family members was a bit too easy. Keep up the great work though!

It was fun especially since I am a dad.