G-H-O-S-T

I thought this was a cute story. You play as the ghost of a college student trying to solve the mystery of their own demise. The conflict comes with the fact that there's major gaps in your memory about what happened, and you must follow your ex-girlfriend Threnody and some members from the local law enforcement unit through your college campus to discover the truth.

Each page is very succinct and easy to digest, if not bearing some dull writing at times in its brevity. Still, the writing itself wasn't totally boring enough to get me to click out of the game. The author does a phenomenal job of capturing the essence of the fall semester at university, especially around Halloween. Costumes, fall-aligned music, goth chicks, walking around campus - it has me feeling nostalgic for my own college experience even though I just graduated. The dialogue is believable and fun too. The biggest strength of this story is the way it navigates the dynamics and relationships between the characters, and the puzzle of solving your own death is fun.

The depiction of the characters can be a little one-dimensional. Threnody is a very stereotypical goth girl. Interesting name to choose, pairs well with the whole "lamenting over a dead person" thing and her aesthetic. At times though she feels like a caricature of her vibe, which makes her writing fall flat occasionally. I liked the angel that helps prod Alex in different directions. Alex themself is relatable too, and I think they're the first nonbinary character I've read about on the site. Maybe I'm biased because I'm nonbinary myself, but the representation felt kind of nice.

I have some gripes with the branching, too. There were a lot of redundant choices, false options, and unnecessary clicking in general. I feel like a lot of the "observe" and "remember" pages could've just been condensed into one page unless one of those two led to more choices that had a direct impact on the story. Most of the endings were decent though.

Overall I would give this a 5/8. I really did enjoy this story and I would recommend reading it as it's short and sweet, but as always there are ways to improve.

This is sweet and nice, I like it a lot. I was feeling kind of a weird nostalgia for campus around October, today, actually, and then randomly stumbled onto this story.

Amazing. Sure, it's a little linear but sometimes the choices you can make in a story are more meaningful then their impact. I found the choice at the oujia board between 'I love you' and 'I forgive you' excruciating.

Flowed really well, most of the pages were in easy to consume chunks rather than long blocks of text that can sometimes be a little off-putting. Maybe the only criticism I have is that Thernody's personality can be expanded upon a little beyond her goth aesthetics? Other then that, I thought it was a wonderful story about death.

I liked it! I really liked the beginning where I was just as confused as Alex on what was going on but in a good way since it really showed their confusion. I also liked going from place to place, feeling like a detective solving the case. My biggest complaint is that it was very linear and that none of the decisions were really that important until close to the end.

You picked an interesting prompt and I think you used it well. Overall, I liked the game, though I feel it could have been better with just a little more fleshing out.

I like that the first two links are “darkness” and then “light”, though I think that expanding those first two pages with more details would definitely serve to engage the reader more as the story begins. Maybe it’s a personal thing, but I feel like immediately having to click a link makes it harder to immerse myself into the story.

I like the beeps page as well. Not entirely sure why.

The entire story is full of some awkwardly-phrased sentences and a few odd sentence fragments. It could use a proofreader.

What the fuck kind of name is Threnody- quirky, I like it.

Ah, there’s a lot of talk in this story about inclusion and positive LGBTQ+ vibes. Consider your audience, Morgan. With End as the judge, you know at the very least that won’t be getting you any brownie points.

The choices were also rather redundant, which got annoying after a while.

I still enjoyed the game as a whole, though. Nice job.

I was expecting worse, especially after Endmaster rated this a 3. Honestly It was very fun and enjoyable and deserves much higher 5/8--goodjob

I liked the idea of playing as a ghost in the afterlife. The mechanics of how you interacted with your environment fit really well with the premise of the story, as someone who is not really able to affect things anymore. I also loved the challenge of having to recall details from earlier in the story in order to progress later on without having been warned beforehand- I like challenge elements in otherwise narrative-based stories, and it was challenging without being frustratingly difficult. On the other hand, the writing on some of the pages was a bit sparse, like just bare bones descriptions that could have used filling out. There were also some meaningless or false choices that felt pointless. Finally, some of the unsatisfying endings felt unnecessary, like it would have been better if we had fewer endings to choose from.