A Dragon's Legend

Player Rating3.71/8

"#562 overall, #52 for 2014"
based on 419 ratings since 12/22/2014
played 5,779 times (finished 492)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

This is my first dragon story and I MIGHT make more depending on how good this is. Remember, no negativity in the comments! I don't want any 'o dat junk.

This is also my first advanced game. It was confusing and I don't know if I got anything wrong so if there's a broken link or something, tell me and I will fix it.

You are a dragon named Flame. You and your siblings are prophecied to be the ones to rid the world of the "plague" that will come upon you. But really, you just wish to be a normal dragon...

TIP: Use something on the last page to see a sneak peek of the next game!

Player Comments

Alright I first of all want you to tell you that asking for only positive feedback is quite a cheap way of begging for it. If everyone just tells you what you want to hear you never get any chance to improve on your mistakes. You should never ask for a positive feedback but for an honest one. If you do not anger anyone no one will insult you, but they will tell you what they did like and what they did not like.

Now for my comment to the actual game. As always spoilers ahead.

The story was very linear and you had no real choices that mattered. For a normal storytelling that would be okay, but that is not what this site is about. Just letting people choose and then telling them to choose the other thing because you were to lazy to write two different paths is just unnecessary. Just don't give choices at all before doing that.

The Storytelling itself was not to good either. It was kept very simple and not very descriptive. You basically gave us a color for all dragons and some names that were so obvious to what their powers were. Also we never saw them use any of those powers except the glowing in the dark which is quite anticlimactic.

You did manage to get the items to work so I guess that means you understood the use of them at least. I did not try that myself till now so I don't know how hard that is, but I will give you the credit for that at least.

Conclusion:
This was your first story with the advanced editor. It was also in all honesty quite a bad one.
Considering you got the items working correctly I would say it was at least a success in that regard.
From me it's just 2/8.
-- LJacko on 2/20/2020 9:28:53 AM with a score of 0
I have no idea how this is rated a four.

This being CYS, obviously I've seen worse, but this whole thing struck me as very uneven and low effort. Lots of little punctuation errors sprinkled throughout, and there's the boring old 'you are the chosen ones!' plot, featuring such an oddly specific prophecy and lazily delivered prophecy.

The siblings and the ice dragon that the story forces you to take along after giving you a false choice (Arguably, this isn't a CYOA at all, it's entirely linear except for a couple of 'choices' at the end that amount to nothing and require you to do things in a specific order in order to progress, else the author tells you 'No, go back and pick the other one!')

The laziness of it all is most apparent right at the end when the 'boss fight' is skimmed over and the author starts making lolrandom comments all over the place instead.

Also, can anyone who likes dragons actually get into this story where the dragons are such unbelievable pussies they pack up and migrate en masse just because some humans moved into the neighborhood? What is even the point of being a dragon in that case?
-- mizal on 10/28/2016 6:33:56 PM with a score of 0
Let me start by explaining why its completely idiotic for you to try to extort only possative comments. Imagine if you will that you have a friend who wants to learn to cook. He tries out several different recipes and combinations of ingredients in an attempt to improve his culinary skills. One day he invites you over to try out to taste test his new "culinary masterpiece. You arrive at his house and see he's attempted to make a rice dish from scratch. He tells you to dig in and tell him what you think, but he requests that you only say possative things about his food. You give it a try and find out he didn't use near enough seasoning and the rice is extremely bland,if you've never had bland rice imagine oatmeal without any butter or sugar. Now you think the rice tastes like shit but he asked you to only say nice things, and you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. You tell your friend that its the best rice you've ever eaten and that its one of your favorite meals he's made. Now you're reluctance to say anything negative about your friends cooking has got it into his head that you really like his rice. Thinking you like the dish he decides to make it every time you come over, and you get stuck eating bland, shitty tasting rice. Well I hate to break it to ya bud, but this story is bland rice. I don't know about you but I dispise the taste of bland rice, and I don't want to be stuck eating it. Now that my extremely long winded, and more than likely rather boring analagy is finished, let's get to my "positive" feed back on your bland rice story. Bro... It reads like a second rate children's story. There is little to no details to create a mental image of the characters, the setting, or the characters way of thinking. All of the characters have the same bland way of acting and speaking to the point where it looks like someone decided to put on a one man play when they have no knowlage of the art of acting. When developing your characters you gotta have a multiple personality disorder. What to know what that looks like? Take a look at anything written by @EndMaster. The detail used in describing what everyone and everything looked like remindes me of a picture made by a kindergargener just learning draw. If you want to capture someone's attention and draw them in, you've gotta act as if you're describing the sunset to a blind man who's never seen it before. We are all blind in the world you've crafted in your head. You have to use your words as paint and our minds as your canvas and paint us a damn Picasso or Da Vinci class picture. Now as I bring my rant to a close I only have one more thing to say. I can be a grade "A" asshole, so its really not a good idea to order me to pull my punches. All that's going to do is piss me of and cause me to lay you out flat on your pansy ass cryind out to momma.

P.S. @EndMaster pleas don't hurt me buddy cause I really do like your stories.
-- DaCaRi on 4/9/2016 2:37:30 AM with a score of 0
Very good
-- Noah2020 on 5/15/2020 4:28:34 AM with a score of 0
It's a bit of a bore to read and the wording is a bit hard to understand.
-- w0lfwrit3r56783 on 4/22/2020 9:59:20 AM with a score of 0
too short and it could bore more descriptive.
-- urboi on 1/29/2020 3:03:37 PM with a score of 0
This story was jokes. I'm really glad it was short.

After reading the other negative reviews I decided "screw it, every story I've read so far on this site has been good, let's read and bad one", and bad it was.

But it was kind of so bad it was good, I did enjoy reading it, but more like how you enjoy listening to people on XFactor that are awful.

I don't want to be mean, I'm fairly certain, given the literary prowess of this story, the author is very young, probably a small child, so won't be too mean.

I just want to say to the kid who wrote this, chin up buddy. Everyone is crap the first time they try something, even the funniest comedians probably had a bunch of really bad shows early in their career. Don't ask for just positive comments it looks childish(but given you probably are a very small child it's cool I guess).

I enjoyed your story anyway. Just remember, if you want to be good at anything you have to prepare to be bad for a bit before you get good. So your first few stories might suck, it's cool. Don't let it discourage you. Even Endmaster stories would have probably sucked when he was 8 and writing for the first time too.

A good effort champ. Respect.
-- Jimmy Bob on 11/19/2019 6:35:54 AM with a score of 0
okayish-
-- wuffruff on 9/15/2019 8:18:47 PM with a score of 0
Why did you end it off with the awesome whaleunisquidapegahorsecupcakegiraffeicorn, but scared it off and that was it? I was loving the build-up but I didn't expect that to be the end. And was the beast the plague? I didn't see it as a plaque, more like a god that would turn me from atheist to a whaleunisquidapegahorsecupcakegiraffeicornist believer.
-- KuroVal on 9/14/2019 8:46:41 PM with a score of 0
Lol! I loved the part were you said the monster was a whaleunisquidapegahorsecupcakegiraffeicorn!
Plz make more! The ending was a little sudden tho... but it was still awesome. ????
-- Wolfy110022 on 8/6/2019 9:55:40 AM with a score of 0
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