Bounty Hunter

The intro to this story makes it sound quite fun. However, when I hit the first page, I’m already leery of what’s going on. I like the idea of the story. I like the setting. I like that I’m headed out hunting bugs, and this could be a really fun story. Yet when my options on the first page are simply three apparently equal choices, this appears to just be another lolrandom story. By that I mean that without any clues at all on the page, I’m supposed to pick the best option. Yet all options appear to be equally valid, so the result of my very first action is going to be completely random.

Following the different links I see that is indeed the case: you get choices in this story, but you have no idea what will happen when you select each of the choices. This type of story can work with just a little more effort: in each case you could add a little more description in the page that might give a hint as to which option might be better. You might mention there are high rocks on the right side, giving the clue that you shouldn’t dodge right. You could describe that the insect has moved so that its most vulnerable section is facing you as a hint that it’s the right time to shoot, and so on.

I think the story and the setting are a good idea, and this really could be fleshed out into a much more interesting and much longer story. Thank you for sharing it with the site.

As far as I could tell, this storygame was put together properly with functioning links and (mostly) correct writing, but it just felt very bland.

As others have stated in the comments, the description and backstory are severely lacking. It did its job but at a bare minimum, as if the author was scared of being penalised for going over a word limit.

There are these Ulga creatures, but I don't know much about how they look other than they look like insects and they have wings. What does Jupiter's fourth moon look like, other than it's rocky? Has the protagonist ever been here before? Does he/she often venture out to other planets or moons, and if so, how do they compare to their current location? These little details are all things that could be added here and there, and I think it would enrich the experience for the story a little.

I did see you add details here and there about the habitats and commonly found locations of the Ugla, so that was promising. Maybe add another layer of information like that, and you could have yourself a living world inhabited by vibrant, life-like creatures.

Does not follow EndMaster's guide for a good Pokemon game

This seems like a 10 minute job to me. Or just bare bones. Needs a lot of fleshing out to make it worthwhile.

Bad

Meh...

Alright. I'll be honest. It's kinda boring. You don't really have that much story or lore stuffed in. For example, there should be a quick, but detailed prologue introducing your character, other characters, and the setting.
Speaking of detail, YOU NEED THAT, and FAST. The small, simple sentences bore me quickly.
However, the SCORE idea is very unique, and there was only one grammatical error (''a blivion'' is not a word). I give this 5/8 for trying. Thanks for hearing me out.

cock

bruh i broke my neck by dogeing right bruh bruh bruh bruh

I mean there's not really much going on here. I liked the concept of a bounty hunter wiping out bugs but there could have been way more done with this game.

Instead what we got was very little story length and a lack of plot and character development. I feel like this would have gone better if you had given this game more Metrovania vibes and made it open exploration with item gathering.

Kinda disappointing since the pages don't really offer any type of choice except the right one so I was hoping to see more about this story so the lack of length and meaningful decisions hampered its rating.

Its fine if you like being pretty board pls do some hunger games stuff people way better then this crap