Player Comments on Bounty Hunter

The intro to this story makes it sound quite fun. However, when I hit the first page, I’m already leery of what’s going on. I like the idea of the story. I like the setting. I like that I’m headed out hunting bugs, and this could be a really fun story. Yet when my options on the first page are simply three apparently equal choices, this appears to just be another lolrandom story. By that I mean that without any clues at all on the page, I’m supposed to pick the best option. Yet all options appear to be equally valid, so the result of my very first action is going to be completely random.

Following the different links I see that is indeed the case: you get choices in this story, but you have no idea what will happen when you select each of the choices. This type of story can work with just a little more effort: in each case you could add a little more description in the page that might give a hint as to which option might be better. You might mention there are high rocks on the right side, giving the clue that you shouldn’t dodge right. You could describe that the insect has moved so that its most vulnerable section is facing you as a hint that it’s the right time to shoot, and so on.

I think the story and the setting are a good idea, and this really could be fleshed out into a much more interesting and much longer story. Thank you for sharing it with the site.

As far as I could tell, this storygame was put together properly with functioning links and (mostly) correct writing, but it just felt very bland.

As others have stated in the comments, the description and backstory are severely lacking. It did its job but at a bare minimum, as if the author was scared of being penalised for going over a word limit.

There are these Ulga creatures, but I don't know much about how they look other than they look like insects and they have wings. What does Jupiter's fourth moon look like, other than it's rocky? Has the protagonist ever been here before? Does he/she often venture out to other planets or moons, and if so, how do they compare to their current location? These little details are all things that could be added here and there, and I think it would enrich the experience for the story a little.

I did see you add details here and there about the habitats and commonly found locations of the Ugla, so that was promising. Maybe add another layer of information like that, and you could have yourself a living world inhabited by vibrant, life-like creatures.

It was alright.

Does not follow EndMaster's guide for a good Pokemon game

This seems like a 10 minute job to me. Or just bare bones. Needs a lot of fleshing out to make it worthwhile.

Bad

Meh...

Alright. I'll be honest. It's kinda boring. You don't really have that much story or lore stuffed in. For example, there should be a quick, but detailed prologue introducing your character, other characters, and the setting.
Speaking of detail, YOU NEED THAT, and FAST. The small, simple sentences bore me quickly.
However, the SCORE idea is very unique, and there was only one grammatical error (''a blivion'' is not a word). I give this 5/8 for trying. Thanks for hearing me out.

cock

bruh i broke my neck by dogeing right bruh bruh bruh bruh

I mean there's not really much going on here. I liked the concept of a bounty hunter wiping out bugs but there could have been way more done with this game.

Instead what we got was very little story length and a lack of plot and character development. I feel like this would have gone better if you had given this game more Metrovania vibes and made it open exploration with item gathering.

Kinda disappointing since the pages don't really offer any type of choice except the right one so I was hoping to see more about this story so the lack of length and meaningful decisions hampered its rating.

Its fine if you like being pretty board pls do some hunger games stuff people way better then this crap

OK so, "Boomer" refers to what? Some sort of bullet firing gun, but is it a rifle, an SMG, an assault rifle, or some sort of futuristic other category?

short

Cool action story.

i didn't even get past the first level lol

It's very short, not bad, this is for beginners but i certainly wouldnt take this because its not so good.

Very short, needs more info as other comments have mentioned. Other than that very fast faced, I found it quite fun to read

Enjoyed the story, but maybe you should've put more stuff in it.

Cool

Very linear with only one ending. The choices were basically non-choices, either die or don't die.

No sense of attachment to the character, no humour, no serious tension or story development.

Still no idea what a 22k-boomer or whatever is (Laser pistol? Laser rifle? Bazooka? Standard bullet firearm but in the future?)

It ended a bit too abruptly for me, I did like how many times I could fail in it before winning. That's always good for a laugh and some fun. :D

Well Jupiter has no solid surface that I'm aware of...Most of it's atmosphere is 90% hydrogen, and 10% helium.Well, it does have a solid core...Whatever.

Eh ...
Too short, not a good backstory..
These kinds of games don't really grab my interest.

The story is too much short. It needed more emphasis.

Meh sort of fun ends to fast needs more quantity

I am rather curious as to why the climb to the cave would be excruciating, when the gravity of this particular moon is so weak that you can jump over something roughly your size with no difficulty whatsoever.

Also, was the spider one of the ugla or just a mundane giant spider?

Few things 1)very liner, only two endings where you dont die 2)you get payed more for killing a spider then the ugla 3)very short and not descripitve

Meh. Okay, could really do with being about ten times longer.

It was okay

It was a good game, but it would have been nice for some Back story on this monster I am hunting. Also, I think if there was a purpose or reason for the hunter to fight the creature that can be explained in better detail, I might of understood the story a bit better.
On the other hand the concept was good, and I liked how most choices I picked allowed me to move from one area to another. I also enjoyed the fighting between hunter and prey, but it would have been nice to have a better description to help me visualize the fighting.

It was interesting but the plot wasn't explained at all and it sort of ended abruptly.

its.......ok

I would have liked a lot more variety than insect-people.

cool.

It was a great story but it was short.

short

It was fun however it would been better if there was more information before each discion like the fact on first choice the enemy's coming from the right would been helpful

It was really boring

it needs more story

Well, I really liked the idea of being a bounty hunter, but I just think the game would have been better if you were hunting for lots of different things instead of the Ulga. Like if some of your targets were really evil but really hard to kill and other targets were really easy to kill, but also didn't deserve to die and presented you with a moral dilemma of whether you choose to spare them or if you just get the job done. That would've been awesome ^_^

Ugh. This is boring. And the choices that lead to death are seemingly arbitrary. I don't think I've ever actually played a Choose Your Adventure game before where it was possible to die on the very first click.

Doesn't bear thinking about. 1.

*pew* it turns into a pile of goop. Just like it should. great small story. Try working on larger and grander projects.

Not much sense.

'Malo'

Hmm... Interesting, not the best, certainly not the worst.

I think it could be better if the choices weren't totally random. Also the writing could be a lot beter

Kind of short and boring

okay by me.

Wish it were longer.I wanted to kill more!

This could be a good story, but it seriously needs some improvements! (more describing texts maybe...more 'role-play' involved...) ;)

got 700 for big spider this time!

I got 200, Shoot seems to be the answer to everything

Is quite annoying and random... not specific enough to figure out where you are, what you're doing, what the danger is, or even to draw interest into the story.

i agree that it should be longer, but all in all very good game

same as before.

It could be a little longer with more action.

I agree with Rommel down there. Even in my crappy game you can't die on the first page. I just died twice... for no reason.

Good. A longer story and more choices would make it
GREAT!

This game was pretty interesting.

choices need to have a reason to choose them...

it was short like crap please make a sequil much much much longer

A very well thought-out game. I personally enjoyed the experience and hope that all others who play can share in the experience.

re: Sir_Lancegalawain
I never thought of that... I guess its because either Uglas are over populating the planet or he has a grudge on them.

Am I missing something? Why does your boss want you to mindlessly kill these creatures?

Too easy to die. Played it earlier but wasn't logged on.

Well at least jumping didnt get me friggin killed

This time i tried a new approach, i jumped right. i then died

i started the game by jumping left. i then died

No I guess not,lol! I got killed by acid the other way I went.

There! I got 700 this time! Hmm, but is there more...I'll check.

Hey, hey. I like this game. Very well done. I like the way you did the score (the only thing I would ever use the advance editor for, sadly) it was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed the descriptions. I like using that 22-K boomer, it must have been one mother of a weapon. I expect to see more from you. :)

Great game! It's exciting and gripping, but some of the actions like "Dodge Right" which made you die were kind of dumb, seeing how it wouldn't matter. But it was great otherwise!

The idea is kind of to let the player imagine what the Ulgas look like.

The writing is clear and concise, but the topic seems a little tedious; I didn't feel any sense of excitement. I'd like to hear more about what the Ugla look like, and what they look like as I blast them into oblivion. I think that would help add to the excitement. Good job.

Good game, but I felt I didn't really need to know some of the details. Things like, The water was refreshing. Just reading that I dived into the water was well enough to understand that it must have been refreshing.

Good game!

That was okay... the only thing I really liked about it was the decision to jump at the beginning, which requires logical thinking. That was quite clever. The rest is standard fare.

i like the score feature for this game. killing bugs for points. centipede? lol anyway, more story next time would make a great game.

Cool action game! It was very descriptive and well written. Good job!

The first real action game in text. It's fun to play. I got 5 of them so I think I got $500 right? Well, anyways, this gives me an idea for a mini-game I could include in my game.

Well written and nice and quick. It "feels" like an Action Game (Shoot, Dodge, Jump, etc), something that Choose Your Stories aren't really condusive for. Action is OK, but I'd suggest investing some more in the plot and characters.