The Challenge Rooms
puzzle / games
, #40 for
Played 706 times (finished 79)
"Trek through the forest"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"Choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.
Can you find a way out of the rooms and escape your fate?
Don't be too sure....
Pretty good story. Is there a “good” ending though? I could only find the meh and evil ending.
on 1/27/2018 4:40:50 PM with a score of 0
I think it was very good for your first time! Next time I would give more details on the main character but other wise it's great!
— Ella on 12/21/2017 2:02:57 PM with a score of 0
Overall, your writing is pretty good. There are a few misspelled words, but not many. I wish there was more story to your game though. We start with no idea of who our character is or how we ended up in this place, and that's never really explained. Even more problematic is your lack of endings. We can either die by failing (which is hard to do without trying because they're fairly easy puzzles), there's an evil ending or a meh ending. There's no option for a good ending, no way of winning, not even an option to even sacrificing yourself
on 12/15/2017 11:34:38 PM with a score of 0
Congratulations, you have reached the meh ending! You aren't really bad, but you aren't really good.
This is my first ever Chose Your Own Story, you you know what that means...
Tear it apart! Please, tell me everything I did wrong and what I need to work on. That way, I can learn what to do for bigger, better projects!"
It is indeed a pretty good game with an interesting story and a wise twist. I think that explains much about the doll of the Saw series, so it wasn't a haunting but rather a 'live circuit' after-all! LoL! ;) 5/8
on 12/15/2017 1:33:53 AM with a score of 0
Pretty good for a first time story. I couldn't find a good ending if there is one. Just the 2 endings. This could be a good beginning to a series of escape type stories.
on 12/14/2017 2:42:59 PM with a score of 0
This doesn't seem like a first story; it's like you've been doing this a long time! Super awesome story. The story line was great and the endings were perfect. Amazing job!!
on 12/14/2017 12:43:54 PM with a score of 0
It's your first ever storygame, so you want me to tear it apart. Normally I would be brutal, but... there's not much wrong with this story.
Very clever. Great idea, well executed. Aside from a couple grammatical errors, I can't find anything wrong with this...
Love the ending. Definitely will be recommending to friends. Please make more games. You've got talent.
on 12/14/2017 8:13:52 AM with a score of 0
Wow, this was a pretty fun read. Even though this was your first storygame, I can tell you put thought and effort into it (something I sadly don't find much of). You do need a bit of tweaking, but there's nothing seriously wrong with this story at all. Like with most first storytellers, I recommend reading a bunch of storygames in genres that you like, to get a feel of dos and don'ts. Other than that, keep going. I see some potential for future stories here.
on 12/13/2017 7:21:04 PM with a score of 0
This was a really cool short story. However, I feel like maybe the prose could have been improved a bit, and maybe the story itself fleshed out some more. Providing some background info at the beginning and fleshing out the villain a bit more would have been cool.
Otherwise a cool short story. Rating a 5/8. Good job for a first story game.
on 12/13/2017 6:26:47 AM with a score of 0
This didn't disappoint me at all. Thank you very much. Okay, so I just noticed a couple of mistakes, but otherwise it'll be alright considering that this is your first story game.
The writing itself was decent, and I really love how you incorporated riddles into the story game as it was amusing and entertaining. You could have added more complex riddles, but this is good for children.
Okay, I spotted some grammatical mistakes. Take this passage for an example of an improper use of a comma: "Alright," you say, clenching your fist, "Let's do this."
There should be a period (.) after the word fist. For example: "Alright," you said clenching your fist (insert emotion here). "Let's do this."
Also, I don't think that the word "say" would suffice there. You could have added a little emotion or a feeling there. Like our protagonist clenched their fists in triumph, etc.
Considering that this was your first story-game, it wasn't bad. There was certainly room for improvement, and it could honestly be a potential series. If you want to make it a series, I suggest adding bits of suspense in each game.
In conclusion, this was a decent story-game and I really enjoyed it. Well done on this game, and I wish you the best of luck on the games you'll publish in the future.
on 12/12/2017 10:30:23 PM with a score of 0
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