A newspaper clipping from the Yorkshire Warbler, 24 July 2018
DavidG Has Birthday
In an unexpected move, CYS reprobate DavidG celebrated another birthday earlier today, the Yorkshire Warbler can report.
“I’m very disappointed in David’s decision to grow another year older,” anti-aging activist Rupert Zimm said in a hastily-convened press conference. “Doesn't he feel he’s had quite enough birthdays already? Everybody knows accounts of ancient historical events properly belong in newspaper archives, outdated textbooks, and poorly-researched articles on Wikipedia, not in the memories of individuals who lived through them. For shame, sir!”
A full report of the festivities accompanying this event can be found on Page Eight of this newspaper, as written by our very own intrepid reporter, Eliza Hark. “Actually, my account may not be entirely accurate,” Ms. Hark admitted, having the good grace to look sheepish when summoned to the editor’s office. “You see, I overslept and missed it all. However, in keeping with the Warbler’s excellent maxim of ‘Whatever we don’t know, we just make up,’ I created a fictitious version which readers will doubtless find considerably more entertaining than the real events.”
