The Weekly Review - Edition 25
A What is New Section giving the latest info on the Forums!
An Article on Bucky’s Great Competition by Will11!
An Interview of the fantastic site member Will11 by Seto!
A Review of Killa Robot’s Inepta Academy, written by Steve24833!
The Short Story Discovery by the terrific writer Steve24833!
A Special Section of Famous Last Words!
- In Newbie Central newcomers plelb and campmixup introduce their fantastic selves to the site!
- In the Lounge Negative triggers lively discussion after asking people the worst situations they’ve been in!
- In News and Updates Bucky’s ballad writing competition approaches the results stage!
- In the Parlour Room Kiel Farren’s Game of Life and Death Walkthrough continues to be essential!
- In the Forum Games section B101’s game The Walking Dead continues to flourish!
- In the Writing Workshop the many fantastic entries to Bucky’s competition begin to receive their feedback!
- In the Reading Corner Vittorio99 looks for books set in hell!
- In the Advanced Editor Forum MadHattersDaughter looks for help with variables!
- In the Feature Wishing Well JJJ-thebanisher puts forward a great idea to fast-track site improvements!
- In Bugs and Problems section Negative finds a problem with the Restart button!
Featured Article – Bucky’s Great Competition
The recent ballad-writing competition hosted by Bucky has been the most successful competition hosted on this site, certainly in my experience here. It has seen a lot of fantastic contributions from a lot of site members and is a really positive thing for the site overall: a clear sign that after shaking off its WC and silly trolling feuds in the Forums this site is a first class writing site with many members capable of producing really well-written pieces of writing.
Writing a ballad is not easy so I think that all the members who contributed or were involved in this competition can feel very proud of themselves and all those members who doubted either themselves or their writing abilities need have no worries. I think this site can expect a lot of competitions like this in the future and the myriad of very good writers on this site will have many more opportunities to demonstrate their writing abilities in numerous different writing styles.
I am off on my holidays now so the Review will return in either January or February. A massive congratulations again to everyone who took part in the competition and especially to Bucky for organizing it and finally Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone.
Featured Interview - Introducing Will11
As this week is the 25th anniversary of "The Weekly Review", we are having a very special review of one of the most amazing site members, Will11. Will is irrefutably one of the nicest and most patient site member on CYS, and one of the most prolific and talented writers with 13 published stories. Will is also the dedicated creator of the Weekly Review. Without further ado, here's an interview from the amazing Will:
1: How did you find this site, and what motivated you to stay and write?
Back in November 2014 I was at a bit of a loose end and ended up playing a choose your own adventure zombie story online and wondered if I could find more stories like this one (I used to read gamebooks when I was a kid and really liked them). I ended up finding this site and loved everything about it (though not the Forums, and particularly the Forum Games section, so much at first). I just started publishing, interacting with site members and I suppose the generally positive and supportive feedback I got really encouraged me to stay and keep writing.
2: What do you like most about CYS?
100% the members – they are such a varied, interesting and often fantastically talented and generous bunch.
3: Now that I've asked what you liked most about CYS, .how about what you've liked least?
The Warrior Cats infestation used to irritate me. I found Ryder hilariously disturbing. I am as confused and mystified as ever by the Forum Games section. I think generally writers who churn out very low quality stories within a few hours is the most annoying thing – though actually I don’t mind picking up the free point because if they don’t care much what they write it is silly that I should either. All the things that used to annoy me have been changed or fixed (except Trump…) so nothing really bothers me much on here anymore… the site could use a few updates though :D
4: What made you first decide to make the Weekly Review in 2015?
The unimaginable power and authority of an impartial media? :D Haha Jaystar came up with the idea and triggered a flood of short-lived newspaper type things – the Review seemed a good way to keep members informed about what was happening on the site and practice a style of writing I hadn’t tried before. People have been remarkably patient and very encouraging with this Review.
5: You have 5 featured storygames...is there anything you'd suggest to people trying to get their storygames featured, or any writing tips at all?
Send blackmail threats to the moderators and admins until they feature your stories :D Nah, the longer you spend on a story game the better it will be. Interesting characters, a large plot with multiple branches and a good setting or two are all you really need to create a good story as long as you can avoid too many grammar or punctuation mistakes. As I have the imagination of a goldfish I like using history as a source for my story ideas.
6: What is your opinion on publishing demos?
If you are too lazy to write a full-length story before publishing you will NEVER make it as a successful author.
7: You've been here a while (well, longer than me at least) what has changed during your time on CYS?
Mostly members coming and going and the site overall being cleaned up a bit thanks to the great work of the moderators. Sethaniel, who is one of my favourite writers, and Kiel, who is one of my favourite people altogether, have both largely vanished along with some of the older moderators. Fortunately new and talented moderators have been appointed and new site members have become very active, particularly the Mizal-Bucky-Axiom group who are generating such good competitions and activities in the writers workshop.
8: While we are on the topic of things changing...what changes do you think are likely to happen?
It is hard to say. Things are going very well for the site now so hopefully this will continue – best case scenario is that the site will get some updates (BerkaZerka needs a trophy, the Help and Info section needs cleaning up etc) and a few more Mods appointed to help the existing ones keep the site really good. I expect there will continue to be flare-ups, there seem to be a big fight every few months or so (Kiel leaving and the Breezy-Mizal thing are the two most recent ones I can think of) and it’s possible another group of fan-fics like the WC crowd might try to infest the site at some point in the future. If it is a bunch of insane Edutainment –genre writing enthusiasts though I think we should welcome them with point rewards :D
9: What has been the most funny thing that has happened to you recently?
Well it wasn’t that recent but when I was a younger Will11 I decided to take my dog for a walk. At night. Along a clifftop. This Darwin Awards-worthy idea received a boost when my dog saw a rabbit running through the night. As it has always been my dog’s ambition to one day catch and eat a rabbit she took off running after it, pulling the lead from my hand. As my parents loved that dog more than me I thought it might be a good idea to run after her. The rabbit ran straight towards the cliff edge followed by the dog followed by me.
You might see how this story is going. Before reaching the cliff edge the rabbit went left. My dog went right. I did neither but with the sublime impassive confidence of your true idiot I plunged straight on until I ran out of ground. There was a bit of a Looney Tunes moment where Wile E. Coyote would hold up a Yikes sign and then I fell straight down. I was quite lucky to land on a grassy ledge about fifteen or twenty feet down as there were steeper drops down towards the beach on both sides. I wasn’t too hurt but my trousers were destroyed and my legs cut and scraped.
After climbing very carefully back up I found my dog waiting for me at the top of the cliff with her head cocked to one side and a sort of “I can’t take you for a walk anywhere can I” look on her face. The most annoying thing is that when I took her home my parents took one look at my appearance, flung their arms around the dog and began checking if she was ok, saying things like “she’s been down to the beach hasn’t she?” I lent against a wall and informed them I might need a doctor. It all ended well though, I cleaned up my legs and a few hours later we were all sitting in a restaurant together laughing about it.
10: As always, are there any last words you'd like to share? Maybe to newer members of the site?
Enjoy the site: it’s a fantastic place as a Library for hundreds of fantastic stories, a Forum for meeting hundreds of awesome people from all over the world and a terrific Writing Tool for sharing your own stories. If you are going to write though take your time – read the Featured Stories and the Help and Info articles and make sure your story is the best it can be before you publish. Above all enjoy your time here in this wonderful little corner of the Internet; it is a unique place.
Featured Review: Inepta Academy, a School story written by Killa_Robot (2016)
A well written game for the grand school-based contest, it has both interesting writing, a nice setting and pretty good scripting. The game strays from many of the site's other top games to take a nicer, more child-friendly setting, so it'd definitely be good fun for children.
The premise is fairly simple, with you investigating an abandoned section of the school to retrieve your backpack that bullies hid, while finding some evidence to finally get them in trouble. Perhaps the site has corrupted my soul or it was long corrupted already, but I was waiting throughout it for it's child-friendly premise of the child protagonist being bullied to the mysterious teacher slowly murdering every single child and wearing their skin as some sort of child suit, although it didn't go that way, so definitely child friendly and a fun little game to play through if you have a spare ten minutes.
There's some cool, albeit incredibly hard puzzles in it that should stump you for a bit and leave you having to message the author to ask how to solve it because you have no idea whatsoever (I assume, having personally solved it in seconds). Anyhow, a great game that shines on the front page out of a usually weak category, and definitely worth a play.
Featured Short Story – Discovery by Steve24833
The boy walked along the dirt path, feeling the mud underneath his toes. He took a deep breath, taking in the smells of the trees around him, the lovely flowers blooming, nature itself. He listened the sounds of the forest. There was the light sprinkling of water in the stream, the singing of birds flying overhead, a distant... there was a distant humming, as if the air itself screamed. The boy stopped, pausing and looking up at the sky.
The noise grew louder and louder, as the hum of the sky increased. The boy frowned, clasping his hands over the ears as the sound became unbearable. He gritted his teeth as the noise grew louder and louder, like the shrieking of sky-bound demons that lusted for his soul
Suddenly, the beast appeared in the sky. It's shape was that unlike any the creators could've made. It's body was like that of a bulbous fruit, with "wings" flapping desperately above it as if it was a wounded bug, although it doesn't slow or stop, going with such speed the boy could barely see it. The beast continued to scream at the boy, screeching and howling as it attempted to tear his very soul from his body. Several appendages swing from it, long, vine-like arms that hit the ground, trailing along the dirt as it no doubt attempted to ensnare its prey and drag them up to be devoured.
The beast finally began to look at the boy. It's eye opening, spewing pure light as if it were the sun itself at the boy, basking him in light and blinding him. The boy screamed, backpedaling as he stared at the beast, knowing that it now saw him, and that it was now his.
The boy screamed, as the beast began to fall towards the ground. It continued to stare at the boy as it landed on the ground, only a few meters away. The boy screamed for someone, anyone, to help him, to rescue him from the horrible beast. He was too paralyzed to react, simply standing there as the beast stared onwards.
The creatures hide glinted in the sunlight, featureless and looking horribly cold. It's hide was unlike anything else he had ever seen. The beasts flaying wings began to slow down, stopping as it continued to stare on.
Suddenly, the beast began to tear away its own skin. It's hide began to pull back, being torn off it and pulled along its body. The boy began to scream in terror as he realized it was opening up to reveal even more horrors, nightmares worse than any demon could think up. Inside the creature were parasites, or horrible infants being birthed into the world.
The creatures, if one could even call them that, were like cheap imitations of men. Their skin was without any color, as pale as bleached bone, no life underneath. They were wrapped in the hides of fantastic and imaginative beasts of every color and stripe of the rainbow, making their bodies a mockery of the color and life that their faces, their bodies, their very souls lacked.
The beast died, stopping all movement as it lay on the ground, its infants now free, or the parasites finally having killed their host. Either way, the monsters had arrived in the valley. The nightmares walked forward, waving their hands and speaking the nonsensical, insane gibberish of the mad in the hushed tones of death.
The boy stared at them, knowing death would be long and painful. Both the death of him, the death of the tribe, and the death of his world.
Special Section – Famous Last Words
It can be challenging enough saying things that are witty and clever at the best times, when you are on your deathbed, or close to it, then other distractions must render it downright possible. Still here are the famous last words of a few figures from history who managed to come out with a farewell quip or a line that I think is pretty funny just before they began their journey into the great unknown…
“I desire to go to Hell and not to Heaven. In the former I shall enjoy the company of popes, kings and princes while in the latter are only beggars, monks and apostles.” – writer Niccolo Machiavelli cheerfully sharing his last views on religion (21 June 1527).
“What the devil do you mean to sing to me priest? You are out of tune.” – Composer Jean-Philippe Rameau expressing his displeasure at a deathbed sing-song (12 September 1764).
“Now is not the time to make new enemies” – famous philosopher Voltaire explaining his refusal to renounce Satan during his last rites (30 May 1778).
“Now, why did I do that?” – A rather bemused General William Erskine’s last words after throwing himself out of a window in Lisbon (1813).
“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance” – General John Sedgwick’s last words at the Battle of the Wilderness immediately before being shot and killed by a sharpshooter (9 May 1864).
“It would really be more than the English could stand if another century began and I was still alive.” – Oscar Wilde (30 November 1900).
“On the contrary” – Henrik Ibsen last words after being told by his wife he looked better (23 May 1906).
“Well gentlemen, you are about to see a baked appel.” – Convicted killer George Appel (1928).
“Nobody shot me” – Gangster Frank “Tight Lips” Gusenberg after police asked him who shot him eight times in the St Valentines Day Massacre (14 February 1929).
“Why should I talk to you? I’ve just been talking to your boss.” – Wilson Mizner to a priest trying to chat to him (3 April 1933).
“I am starting to believe you are not intending to count me amongst your friends.” – Pedro Seca brilliant final remark to his execution squad (28 November 1936).
“I’m looking for loopholes.” – W.C. Fields on being asked why he was reading a bible on his deathbed (25 December 1946).
“Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.” – Writer George Shaw (2 November 1950).
“God will forgive me. It’s his profession.” – poet Heinrich Heine (17 February 1956).
“Bring me a bulletproof vest.” – convicted murderer James Rodgers on being asked if he had any final requests before his execution squad opened fire (30 March 1960).
“I’m bored with it all.” – Winston Churchill (24 January 1965).
“Hey fellahs, how about this for a headline tomorrow? French Fries?” – convicted killer James French’s last words (10 August 1966).
“Either I’m dead or my watch has stopped.” – Groucho Marx (19 August 1977).
“I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.” – Scientist Richard Feynman (15 February 1988).
“I did not get my spaghetti O’s. I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.” – convicted killer Thomas Grasso’s light-hearted complaint en route to his lethal injection (20 March 1995).
“Thank God. I am tired of being the funniest person in the room.” – Comedian Del Close on being told he was about to die (4 March 1999).
“Where’s my stunt double when I need one?” – Convicted killer Vincent Gutierrez on his way to his execution (28 March 2007).
“I told you I was sick.” – Spike Milligan’s chosen epitaph on his tombstone.
“Gentlemen, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood.” – Convicted Killer Frederick Wood in the electric chair.
Idea by Jaystarcat, Article and Special Section by Will11, Interview by Seto and Review and Short Story by Steve24833.
Finally thank you everyone for taking the time to read this Review.
"Send blackmail threats to the moderators and admins until they feature your stories..."
Wonder if that'll work with the contest?
Anyway, I'll be looking forward to seeing these again after your vacation. Thanks, Will.
Wow, I didn't realize convicted killers were so funny. You'd figure they'd be the Buzz Killington of the party, what with all the killing innocent people and stuff. Just goes to show you shouldn't judge. ^_^
My favorite has always been Carl Panzram who said to his hangman:
“Hurry up you bastard, I could hang a dozen men while you’re standing there fooling around.”
well to be fair, he probably had a lot more experience killing people than the hangman.
I just want to say I like the phrase "the Mizal-Bucky-Axiom group"
Makes it sound like they're a coalition of super villains.
(They totally are, they even fit in the Five Bad Band Trope)
The Big Bad- Mizal
The Dragon- Bucky
The Evil Genius- Axiom
The Brute- Steve
The Dark Chick- Malk
Mizal-Bucky-Axiom group! Oh come on, either use the Council of Nine or at least pop in Steve's name there! Hell, you named literally three of them, but not Steve?!
All that's missing from these is the comics section xD
Great review as always Will. Enjoy your vacation.
These are fantastic. Have a good vacation. I look forward to the next review.
These reviews always make for enjoyable reads. I hope that you enjoy your vacation, Will.
I like these. Especially the last words on this one.