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It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's you! Here to save the day!

I'm sure we've all wondered what it would be like having super powers, or if not in general a specific type of super power.  Well, screw those!  Today we're going to be focusing on.....well, ridiculous super powers.  So if you could have one, totally ridiculous, useless, or otherwise strange super power, what would it be?

My super power would be the amazing ability to morph into a slug man cocoon and hide from any and all criminal dangers!

Mine would be the ability to have a million super powers

the ability to have a million super powers but you can't use them :0

Each stupider and more useless than the last.

Mine would allow for genuine cat herding.

I'm sure it would make adminning here simpler as well.

does it allow for stacking as well?

Of course, that's half the point.

I'd like to detach and re-attach my ligaments like legos or something like that.

If I could thumbs up this comment, I would.

I would want the ability to know who has a foot fetish, in order to avoid them.  

Do you have ugly feet?

I question your motives for asking.  This is one such time in which that power could have come in handy.

I’ll take that as a yes. I’ll bet that you inherited your feet from a mole cricket. Disgusting!

I’d like the ability to control all hair. I could go around and give criminals bowl cuts, then they would be so embarrassed they would leave.

Well you were mean and disgusting to my Squire so your thoughts on this thread and hereby rendered irrelevant.

Thanks, Sir Corgi. 

I almost bought three pairs of steel-toed boots because of him.  

the steel is best used on the shin of your foe

Indeed, sir.  However, I fear he'd enjoy it.  

oh shit he would, run Cricket run! To a bunker of safety and without foot lickers!

*scurries away*

I don't even feel safe on the Internet anymore.  

three words : ingrown nails invocation

ew..

h

I have a friend who said she wants the superpower of telekinetically slapping people without them knowing it was her.

Me, I would love to summon tremendous amounts of alfredo. 

An aura of brutal honesty. Check it out in action:

"Honey, don't forget we're having dinner at my mother's tonight."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, babe."

"I layed out our matching sweaters that mother made us. You know, the ones with the cats sewed on."

ninjapitka walks by

"I want a divorce."

Should have took Library and Information Science in college.

Wow, just out all of my secret abilities why don't you.

THE WORLD ISN'T READY FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME!

Or maybe people like you aren't ready for the world

Damn 

I could, for just a split second, give any female in sight the feeling that they have a very large penis. I just wanna see how they react especially if it's in public or on TV...like maybe doing it to Hillary Clinton while she gives a speech. Like they can totally feel it between their legs, dangling or if they're horny a tightness to their pants caused by a boner that doesn't exist. I'd imagine it to be a very surreal experience and the facial reactions would be absolute gold.

That is how i know, you don't have a girlfriend

Dave's mind would be blown

Idk I think the reverse of this could be possibly even funnier.

Not as easy to monetize in the fetish community though.

You wouldn't want to know even for a second what being a penis haver is like?
Lame 

not just any penis haver, a hefty-penis haver