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A place to sit back, hang out, and talk about anything you'd like.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago

1. Reason's why, 

Even though we may like to fuck, Honesty is the best policy

We may have run out of luck, But we are a butler of good quality

We will not lie, And my love for sex will not die

Honesty is always first, In a butler of our level

Our luck may be cursed, But lying is for the devil

 

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago
Do you know what happened to the last bad poet?

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago

Literally no clue

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago
We killed him, pinned his corpse to a wall, got bored of it hanging there, took it down, used it as a lawn chair, then let another poor bastard who died possess his corpse. AKA we banned him and had another guy use that account because he wanted to have to move to an account of the admins' choosing if he failed to do something (spoiler alert: he failed to do the thing).

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago

Ok well what if I don't make poems that have to do with.... you know

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago
Just... Stop making poems that make everyone wanna stab their eyes out.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago

Okay i understand you guys do not like my poems that were a failed attempt of humor.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago

Honestly it’s more of a case nobody likes you in general at this point.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago
I don't know where people get this idea. I mean, I said flat out that one was sufficient and I didn't think he needed two threads dedicated to showcasing his shitposting; that's the highest compliment I could pay anyone on this site. And now you've given him incentive to earn more points, thus proving his usefulness to any naysayers. We've been really good to Dave.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago

Nah, we did this with Spazzler (Or whoever that fucktard was from Inkle) as well and we eventually banned him.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago

Since it looks like the other poem and its response thread got deleted, I'll repost this response (good thing I saved a copy,) though it has lost its impact now:

Poetry is not mere spontaneous rhyme;
The structure has grammar, rhythm, and time.
The contents are more than just vomiting lust,
In plebeian prose designed to disgust.

Poems are the music of laugher and mirth,
Elysian mysteries touching the Earth,
Melancholy strains of longing and grief,
And ballads of heroes defying belief.

Poems shape the thoughts that would otherwise flee,
They inspire, they challenge, they move us, they free.
But you gushed up words straight from your scrotum,
Don't disrespect art and dare call that a poem.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago

Ah, I see! Everything just got moved. Makes sense!

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

5 months ago
There were actually two derails and since I didn't think they needed two threads, I only bothered to split the more salvageable one with the poem.

And my thread is better of course because I made the title rhyme.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
Gah. Sure, you make people want to stab their eyes out, which should be a bonus for me. But still, I despise you. Please, just stop.
I mean wtf? Even if we did choose the more romantic options, I highly doubt there'd be any sex scenes, you horny fucktard. Go watch some porn. And then don't write poems about it.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Look I will stop making poems and contributing in general if it really disturbs you guys this much

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
No, don't stop. It's amusing to watch this.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

In order to stop contributing you would have had to been contributing in the first place.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Good one you got me there.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Your enthusiasm isn't lacking, it's just that you seem to post a lot by impulse without looking over what you have written. What you likely meant as clever comes off as merely dumb and crude because of this.

Just some general advice:

- Think things through.
- Read over what you write a second time.
- Proofread, or at least attempt it. Errors and typos will creep through, but one should at least attempt to punctuate and use complete sentences.
- Repress the temptation to go for cheap jokes.

Have you ever seen the Despicable Me movies? There are a lot of clever jokes in them involving sarcasm, wordplay, or situational comedy. There also are a lot of (intentionally) juvenile jokes in them. Basically, don't be the mindless minion laughing because someone said the word 'bottom' and carrying around a fart gun. If you insist on acting that part, people will treat you as if you are a mindless minion. If you want people to see your words as funny or clever, then put some thought and effort into them. Strive to increase the amusement and intellect of collective humanity when you write or joke or persuade, not to kill the brain cells of anyone reading.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
This has come up a couple times already, he's claimed he deliberately types badly because it makes him a rebel.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

I'm not sure if that makes me feel better about it, or worse, lol. When I was in high school, people just got a piercing or tattoo to be edgy. They didn't reject the English language.

But on the positive side, at least Dave isn't railing about English being a racist artifact of sexist, cis-normative colonialism and demanding we all speak Esperanto.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Look Mizal and Camelon. I realized my grammar was terrible, so I know pay 159 dollars a year for Grammarly to correct my spelling and grammar. So I understand where you're coming from, but I have the number one ranked proofreader in the world behind me, and I do double-check. I don't do things to be a rebel in the community cyoas. I do it because it's what I would legitemently do and if it makes me different, so be it. I have no problem with being the only odd one out on this site.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

You can't have sex AND not lie, it doesn't work that way.

 

(I have no idea what this thread is about)

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
Typical man.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

There once was a man named Davefaster,

Who was very bad at forming a metaphor,

He spewed out a rhyme,

Wasn't worth a dime,

As he kept choking, on his own bullshit faster.

 

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
Metaphor doesn't rhyme with faster. It rhymes with...snore.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

That was actually intentional to give more focus on the last line 

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
Excellent bullshitting...except it didn't work. Make a new poem that rhymes metaphor with snore. Golden opportunity XD

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfect_and_imperfect_rhymes&ved=2ahUKEwiPtPmvg-vkAhWz7HMBHbsCC2YQFjAAegQIAxAB&usg=AOvVaw3I2xwfem4wkQG-Z1BZtL9s

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

They're called imperfect rhymes check the link out 

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
It's not just imperfect. The stress is totally off too. I couldn't focus on anything else. I wasn't trying to be rude.
Also, they're called hyperlinks. Check the link out.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Yeah I know, just wanted to point out my intention for using that. Sorry if I came forward as too strong : P

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4 months ago

Half rhyme or imperfect rhyme, sometimes called near-rhymelazy rhyme, or slant rhyme, is a type of rhyme formed by words with similar but not identical sounds. In most instances, either the vowel segments are different while the consonants are identical, or vice versa.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
Nothing was the same. There was a vowel before an 'r' in each. That's not even close. 'Metaphor' rhymes with 'faster' about as much as 'scare' does. Actually less.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

I kinda assumed that the "phor" and the "er" sound the same in the ending of the words(similar to believe and perceive, where it's 'eve' and 'eive' or 'sky' and 'high' ); 'meta' and 'fast' obviously don't. Maybe my pronunciation is off

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
Maybe they do in Indian English. I don't know. I've never heard anyone in real life who pronounced metaphor with the same end sound as faster though. The end vowel in 'faster' is a short 'e' or a schwa, and the end vowel in 'metaphor' is a pretty clear 'o', same as is in 'more', 'thorn', and 'porn.' The stress is different too, which has a big effect. 'Metaphor' has three syllables, with the first having the most stress and the second having the least (but still being pretty clearly pronounced). 'Faster' has two with the stress on the first. So reading the lines aloud, the syllable that has the most stress in one has the least in the other, which breaks the flow a lot.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Ahh that's the problem. I was taking metaphor syllable-wise like this 

meTAphor 

Was assuming the first to be unstressed second stressed third unstressed, following the iambic style of the whole poem. 

 

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
Yeah, English is a little weird with stress rules until you start to recognize some patterns based off word origin and such. You can look up words online pretty easy if you aren't sure when you are writing stuff where it is important.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Yep, true that. Thanks for bringing this up appreciate it. 

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

I usually pronounce the 'phor' just like a 'schwa' actually. If the 'o' is distinct that can cause a lot of problems. 

Like in phor the ph gives an 'f' sound and 'hor' is pronounced like somewhat of an 'her' like how you pronounce 'err'

So metaphor is pronounced like 'meta-f-err'

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
What problems would it cause?

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

If 'o' is distinct it could become 'meta-fo-er' ? I doubt I can even say that lol 

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Or maybe 'meta-f-or' where the e is completely removed. This sounds more possible is that how you pronounce it? 

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
MEH-tah-fore. O as in pore.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
It's really just the exact same sound as in or.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

I think I got it now. Thanks!

It sounds like me-ta-forh for me now when I say it out loud though. I'm bad with 'r' s

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago
Metafore. So it's an accent issue? Ah, ok. Unless you are putting some weird emphasis on the foer, then it's probably closer to normal than fer is, unless you want to sound like a Mark Twain character.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Well, I think I was doing just that lol. So you could assume that a Mark Twain character wrote that Limerick, lol 

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

There once was a man named Dave-y-faster, 
Who dabbled with a rhyme that caused me to wonder,
About his incredulous metaphors,
And humor-induced snores,
That made me stare, wide-eyed, at this world's eighth wonder...

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

A foolish young cultist, Davefaster,

Talked smack to his eldritch slavemaster,

His master cried, "Mortal!

I'll open a portal!"

So Dave was consumed by grave Hastur.

More Fisted Dave Dumbassery

4 months ago

Beautiful!!! I say we make Gower our resident poet laureate. ^_^