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cool bird thread

one month ago
Rules for cool bird thread: 1.) Include a photo of a cool or cute bird OR 2.) a drawing of bird OR 3.) a poem or some other literary excerpt about bird These do not have to be yours. ALSO 4.) Treat the competing 'cool bug thread' Cricket is sure to make as the inferior and derivative product it is. Anyhow, you may talk about anything else you like too as long as there's birds. Like this guy here having his bad hair day: Failure to follow the rules will of course result in cruel and harsh punishments. e: oh and just fyi if you're too lazy/incompetent to resize the actual image, you can insert
style="max-width: 100%;"
in at the end of your image tags it will resize them perfectly to whatever device they're being viewed with without scrolling it off to the side. Should look like this: If you're a filthy RTE user I can't help you.

cool bird thread

one month ago

Did someone say post your sketchbook birds?? :~)

11111

I also found a flying cardboard box:

1

cool bird thread

one month ago
Well they're no hamster chefs, but still very nice. Have you ever seen that dating game about pigeons?

cool bird thread

one month ago
I have! I can't say I've ever been interested enough to play it. . .

cool bird thread

one month ago
A quick story about the origins of the cool bird thread. It's actually a bit tragic. You see, there's this site called Something Awful which is about as old as CYS is. They have a forum which I've spoken about now and then. It's a very nostalgic place for me, but it's changed a lot and a few of you may remember it as the place where some frothing dipshits called Briar/Avery a child rapist glorifying violence against children or something because her art was vaguely anime-ish and Price of Freedom, a game about kids being trained as Roman gladiators had kids that could die, on certain paths! How disgusting. Anyway, that place had a board called FYAD, devoted to shitposting and never using grammar, which I didn't really pay much attention to before because I was on the site to look at screenshots of other people playing video games, like a mature adult. But it was a brilliant and necessary idea to give such a massive community a corner to shit in, and it became a home and eventually a final refuge to many, for nearly 20 years. In these increasingly turbulent times, the rest of the forum was slowly taken over by shrill virtue signallers and Care-A-Lots and well the kind of people who would dogpile Briar without even reading her story. (Sound like anyone know?) Anyway, a situation we're obviously all familiar with, having remained the sole bastion of FREEDOM in the interactive fiction world and all. Now in recent months I understand it was no longer good enough that these chill guys remain confined to their little spot telling jokes and being retarded in harmless ways, posting goatse and appreciating pictures of cool birds. So some of the usual sorts of people started screeching about them and kicking up a fuss and calling them Nazis. They responded by going lol and making threads asking each other how much they 'loved hitlers tits and ass' and so on. And then some mod peeked in after getting buried in complaints and was like "ZOMG they REALLY ARE Nazis! Opining microaggressively! How problematic! Delete this sick filth!" And so the entire board was cruelly cut down, and complainers mocked and banned. Much like what happened to Forum Games, yes, but these were innocent shitposters remaining confined to their own space and weren't swarming around pretending to be sexual cats. So anyway in the fallout of all this I saw what was left of their final bird thread and thought to myself 'hey what a cool and inspired idea, who doesn't love looking at birds, and also maybe this will get everyone posting again instead of playing Minecraft in Discord'. But also it's an IMPORTANT SYMBOL. A symbol that CYS will always stand firm in the face of oppression, and that YES you can talk about loving Hitler's tits and ass if you really want to, because here we have FREEDOM. You will be labeled gay af but really it can't be any gayer than the way Steve and Malk used to unironically lust after Young Stalin's dick. Or anything else they ever did. Also birds

cool bird thread

one month ago
@ISentinelPenguinI I see you online, get in here. fuck, forgot...uh, BIRD! It was there all along!

cool bird thread

one month ago
Here's a tit:

cool bird thread

one month ago
That's a great tit.

cool bird thread

one month ago
A link to a video of a Lyrebird by David Attenborough https://youtu.be/mSB71jNq-yQ
So there you go I help the topic about birds.

cool bird thread

one month ago
Here it is embedded: Only easy to get the code for it on desktop unfortunately, the button isn't there on YouTube when you're on mobile.

cool bird thread

one month ago

Here's a solid black cock:

cool bird thread

one month ago
You and Killa just had to turn this immediately filthy. This is a family friendly site for small five and six year old children like AYT and ArtsyGirl ffs.

cool bird thread

one month ago
I thought you liked my tit :(

cool bird thread

one month ago
Caw Caw

cool bird thread

one month ago
Morgan?

cool bird thread

one month ago

The smallest of birds.

cool bird thread

one month ago
GET OUT

cool bird thread

one month ago
:(

cool bird thread

one month ago

cool bird thread

one month ago
Never got that movie or how it was even scary, I see more birds than that just chillin in the HEB parking lot all the time. Mostly grackles and they like to pick the smashed bugs out of the front grills of all the comically oversized trucks, very precisely, like they're playing Operation.

cool bird thread

one month ago

It was scary for the olden days especially since there doesn't seem to be any reason for the birds to just suddenly go bat shit crazy and attack everyone.

cool bird thread

one month ago

cool bird thread

one month ago
There are just so many of these I hardly know where to start. American Flag Eagle is like the redneck spirit animal.

cool bird thread

one month ago
Oh my God. For the true gold, search 'American flag eagle 9/11' You will believe a bird can cry.

cool bird thread

one month ago
My brother has one on a comfortable blanket. That's why it came to mind.

cool bird thread

one month ago
That link contains another link to an ENTIRE SECTION of bird quotes. Jackpot, people! Some are really beautiful and poetic.
The silver swan, who, living had no note, When death approached unlocked her silent throat. --Orlando Gibbons
I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another. --Kevin Nealon
He carried his childhood like a hurt warm bird held to his middle-aged breast. --Herbert Gold
Stuffing is evil. Stuffing adds mass, so it slows the cooking. That's evil because the longer the bird cooks, the drier it will be. --Alton Brown
Always something to think about.

cool bird thread

one month ago
Agreed on the stuffing

cool bird thread

one month ago

Some Cool Birds:

Image result for bone vulture
Yes, I know, everybody and their uncle has seen this one, but every thread like this basically needs to be reminded of Bearded Vultures.

Image result for grouse
Image result for lady amherst pheasant

Image result for lady amherst pheasant

I know I also have an abnormal obsession with grouse and pheasant-like critters. But, they're flashily dressed and they fight each other in flying-kick leap combat and frankly it's a damn shame there aren't movies about them instead of stupid cutesy pigeons and shit. Peacocks and co. are basically even bigger and more bombastic kung fu birds, but I don't like to watch them standing off as much because they're a lot hissier, they don't jump as high, and since they're just bigger in general they probably hurt each other a lot worse instead of just having brief intervals of sky-shoving clawslaps.

For a similar reason, I don't think about ducks this way even though they also tend to have similar social vibes, because they don't really use claws and they don't have the sharpest beaks. So they bite really hard, and they also grapple and *twist* which can cause permanent damage and isn't as innocent to think about as the sort of boxing matches that other birds get into. That's also why I think ducks and geese generally try to get big and scare the other guy off instead. It's not just that they have less weapons to fight with, but the weapons they *do* have leave them vulnerable to some serious problems in the long run.

Related image

Also yeah, that colorful bit is all skin. Weird as it is to think about... I can't remember the name, but I know there was an indie game that gave head-crests like these to those giant bird-raptors they dug up somewhere in mongolia.

Image result for Bulwer's pheasant

This one's like an eccentric old wizard! When I still drew things regularly I would sometimes give an old guy an exagerrated one of those "peasant hat" things to look a little like this, just to signify that he was indeed a wizard.

Anyway, I also have a cuteness quota to meet so I'll show some random plovers I found on the internet because aren't they just the birdiest birds you ever saw?
Related image

Related image

Image result for Grey plover

This one is also very cute, but I like to imagine some fantasy-equivalent of this bird being several feet tall and ominously looming over something. I guess the pattern with the shadowy part being on the underside gives him a very 'loomy' feel. Like he's gonna stand over a building that's about to be cursed or something.


Unnecessary ramble about cool birds that don't exist:

One time, for a post-apocalyptic DnD game, I was practicing the movements of various critters (as I often do) because far too often am I too autistic to actually say and describe things in a functional manner using words. I also like to use the body language of NPCs because my library of silly voices that all have accents from the same general area is severely limitted. At present, I was sort of experimenting with how a right-handed person who didn't have full use of his wrist would use everyday items, write words, open doors, etc.

I realized that, in order to keep my hand in an area where I could continually use it on waist/chest high things, I had to draw my arm in a little bit, like a bird closing its wing. Later I was trying to come up with ideas for naturally occurring not-quite-undead creatures that would come about in a Mordor-like area if a Dark Lord started corrupting the land or something. I thought about the hand thing and I also remembered watching videos about killdeer faking injury to draw predators away from their nests, and I came up with a neat idea about some giant-ass moa bird who would fake injury to attract would-be predators... And in turn, eat them.

It was a 5'8" dinosaur-ass motherfucker with oily black feathers and an ostrich-like body structure, but with long, very heavy wings for high jumps and "punching" movements to batter and disorient prey. I imagine, facially, it would look something like a melanistic bearded vulture. I was especially careful to note those crazy white eyes that make them kinda scary and funny at the same time. Since magical healing came from necromancy in this universe, its 'power' was a strange form of regeneration.

It would be virtually impervious to blunt force trauma, and be able to come back from almost any physical injury. Its ability to maintain muscle control even if things were technically broken also allowed them to do things like... Twisting their head around to bite at any angle. Or splaying their legs to kick to the side, turning their joints inways, etc.  making it especially difficult to fight one unscathed. Of course, sustained mutilation, fire, and other things that take them apart faster than they could put themselves back together were still an issue for them. 

It had no inherent vocal structure, and like a crocodile, could only make noise by quickly forcing air through its mouth and throat. This gave off a deep hissing noise not all too dissimilar to a human man gritting his teeth and stuntedly breathing in pain. Sometimes humans would approach the sound of a staggering man in the night, see the shambling shape of *something* with a broken leg, and if they got closer to investigate... One of the last sounds they'd hear would be the low, rolling crunch of joints dislocating to bury cassowary claws in their guts.

I'm sure I've talked about these before, but I also often used to play with the idea of a "Quicksilver Bird" fairly often. That's just one of the names I've thought of for them, because I have trouble thinking of anything fantasy-ey that really fits the concept. They were essentially a lot like pheasants, but their feathers were metallic and incredibly sharp. They could lacerate things by flying toward them and created sparks whenever they fought each other. In one of the things I failed to help Mizal out with, I was going to have a vampire hunter who had one as a companion, and always kept a supply of tailfeathers in his hat. (He also, quite dangerously, allowed the bird to sit on his shoulder like a parrot.)

No matter where I wrote about them, they were always a rare bird from somewhere else very far away. In skeletons I wrote for the vampire story, the bird was "imported from somewhere in the far east". When I later attempted to write one into a story taking place in an East Asia-Analogue somewhere in my pet fantasy universe, the creature was bought from traders who came from the jungles in the north, which is the general direction of my Legally Distinct from Africa (tm) continent.

I eventually came to the conclusion that these birds were not  naturally occurring animals, but rather that they were made from regular pheasants by alchemists and released into the wild by alchemists using a rare skillset. These birds, being highly territorial and now somewhat invincible, would act as a sort of deterrent to travellers sticking their nose where it didn't belong. But aggressive as they tended to be, you could still distract and eventually befriend them by offering them shiny objects to steal and add to their hoard of shiny objects. Or, if you plan on taking the bird and moving somewhere, building an even bigger/shinier nest of things for them to move into. Ideally things that don't necessarily belong to you. They can somehow sense when things are stolen, and these things have a higher value to them.

I'll put a stop to this word vomit real fast because all this bird talk belongs stuffed into a scrivener document, not forced into the eyeballs of an unsuspecting public.

Here's a Dracula Parrot for your troubles!
Image result for pesquet's parrot

cool bird thread

one month ago
I knew you were just filled to the brim with bird content waiting to spill over on everyone. I like that vampire parrot, very ominous. Also killdeer are cool, we have a lot here. There's one that's always chilling in the parking lot at work at 4am because I think he's confused about what time it is, and when I used to go on walks at my grandpa's place they'd always make me feel bad because instead of just scooting off the gravel road and letting me pass they'd feel the need to walk in front of me the entire way. Seemed exhausting.

cool bird thread

one month ago
Commended by mizal on 1/27/2020 7:49:43 PM
When I saw the bird and the flower, it said
For that is my fate, and it is only that
I know the place where the bird and flower are
And the soul that bears the sweet fruit,
the song that lulls the soul,
and the flowers that warm the earth.

          As if I were to fly by the wing and the sky
On the sea and the earth

               In those hollow places that are made for us
     the flowers; and the sky, the one and the other.

cool bird thread

one month ago
Thanks Lar, that was beautiful. Happy to see you've gained sentience and made an account.

cool bird thread

29 days ago

Very nice

cool bird thread

one month ago

Image result for larry bird

Larry Bird, 3 time NBA champion and member of the Boston Celtics

cool bird thread

one month ago

Not a very cool bird. Middling bird. Barely even a bird. 4/10

cool bird thread

one month ago

This bird is cute and cool but I remember being forced to read a stupid book about it and because public school systems ruin everything, literally anything I google about it is about that book about how a cripple kid died and literally nobody who ever read it cared.

Image result for where does the scarlet ibis live

If for some reason you cared at all while reading the Scarlet Ibis, please leave a long and angry reply about why you're wrong.

cool bird thread

one month ago

cool bird thread

one month ago
Is Canary still locked in the spawn cage? :(

I'd spring him out, but it's been a busy day of pretending to write.

That is pretty good though, didn't realize you could draw.

cool bird thread

one month ago

I might help his escape in a little bit, and thanks!  I used to dabble a little.

cool bird thread

one month ago

New pfp

cool bird thread

one month ago
Crowned Crane For the three of you who read my unicorn story, this is what the Crane King was.

cool bird thread

one month ago

Best Villainous Birds.

Related image
4/10, not especially villainous
+Flowing black cape
+Probably kills innocent bugs
-Unbelievably tiny
-Adorable
-"Villain scowl" is just a little grumpy face
-Possibly just a puckish rogue

Image result for types of vulture

6/10, moderately villainous.
+Poofy black coat
+Probably has a British accent
-Fuzzy muppet neck
-Cute eyes
-Just looks like he has a big nose


Image result for ibis
8/10 very villainous
+Suspicious posture
+Yellow eyes
+Haircut like Nick Cage in Con Air
+Creepy face
-Nonthreatening
-Funny facial expression

Image result for purple bird

9.8988/10, EXTREMELY villainous
+Piercing yellow gaze
+Unblinking stare of murderous conviction
+Actual predator of living animals
+Dark, yet flambouyant attire
+Is a songbird. Constantly singing its own disney villain song.
+Slight smile with vicious intent
-Very small

cool bird thread

one month ago
You forgot the shoebill.

cool bird thread

one month ago
The night heron was also a contender when I searched for evil birds.

cool bird thread

one month ago

He looks like he stubbed his toe

cool bird thread

one month ago
Dang. From any other angle they look goofy and retarded, ut this guy looks so sinister.

cool bird thread

one month ago
Okay I know he looks like a doofus here but don't be fooled by the "smile", still evil and large enough where that's a concern.

cool bird thread

one month ago

Shoebills are just the cartoon of a runway model. They have long fancy struts and they're very tall. And ordinarily they're all smiley and ditzy dorks, but as soon as they turn to face the camera they become fierce

cool bird thread

one month ago
Unsurprisingly, my tits are nicer than Killa's.

cool bird thread

one month ago
"Titmouse" turned out to be a much more wholesome image search than the rest of the internet would have led me to believe.

cool bird thread

29 days ago

The Cincinnati Zoo has baby Little Blue penguins and I love them.

11

cool bird thread

27 days ago
They look Asian. Super cute though.

cool bird thread

29 days ago

This thread reminds me of this helpful guide to birbs. Cute or muppety birds, unless one is in the "all birds are good birbs" camp.

cool bird thread

28 days ago
Commended by mizal on 1/30/2020 7:19:43 PM

Tody sketch



 

cool bird thread

27 days ago
I like it

cool bird thread

27 days ago
I'm not sure what this is. Cute lil robin. Stole both from the other forum's bird thread.