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I was on an online chat the other day discussing theistic religion. I was asked what religious affiliation I am, and I answered Satanist.

After th dramatic reactions were out of the way and I explained Satanism to them and they continued to tell me how the devil is taking over my life and that I need to repent blah blah blah. In eventually got to the point where we were discussing scripture and the concept of their god being good, which in my opinion he isn't. When I saw the opportunity, I explained to them what Satanism is, and at first the people I talked to were actually agreeing with it. They said that Satanism certainly makes a lot of sense, but it is still evil just because. Finally, it ended with some lady stating that Satan has manipulated me and that I'm doing the same to them, etc and the conversation ended.

Afterwards, I pondered the purpose that theistic religion serves in the modern day. Do you think that we as humans in this modern time still need to believe in a god? Does it serve any purpose?

In general no to both questions.

But…

Religion is great if you want to control and manipulate mass amounts of people either for good or ill.

It probably does provide a bit of structure and purpose to those who might otherwise feel lost in their lives, which again is a great way of controlling them.

"Do you think that we as humans in this modern time still need to believe in a god?"

Some of us certainly seem to need to... and I respect their right to do so.

Definitely an atheist myself, though.

... You're a Satanist?

I'm a LaVeyan Satanist. It's atheistic Satanism that has nothing to do with the more common Hollywood Satanism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaVeyan_Satanism

So I'm still an atheist, but I also agree with and follow some of the Satanist philosophy.

The problem I have with Satanism is the fact that it's called "Satanism". LaVey was smart to use Satan to get everyone's attention and gain recruits. However, it's more of a philosophy with needless religious trappings. You could easily follow "Satanism" and not call it that at all.

The "Satan" part just makes it sound "cool" to entice the edgy teens. (Not calling you an edgy teen, but you know the type I'm sure.)

I fully agree. The name was just a way to say "Fuck you Christians!" That was the whole point of it in my opinion. Whenever someone hears the name, it automatically catches their attention.

Take the title of Satan away and they are nothing more than a group of philosophers. The title also helps poke fun at Christianity since the Satanic rules make more sense then the Commandments. Again, you're right in what you said though.

Not really going to ask about the Satanism. I don't believe in god anymore, but I enjoy it when I see others that believe in god and are not a bunch of assholes about it. I think it does serve a purpose because it often gives people the ability to live their lives and to accept death with dignity believing that they are going to a better place. It gives solace to people who have lost family members or friends. To some up it belongs in modern civilization just don't be an asshole about it.

"just don't be an asshole about it."

That right there. For both sides, because there are asshole atheists out there too. :P

There was one person in that group that thought Satanism was cool (he was a Christian) and seemed genuinely interested. It's always nice to clear a stereotype.

It seems pretty reasonable, then you get lines like this:
"When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him."

And this:
"If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy."

And I laugh.

Yeah, that eleventh one is a bit overboard, and the one about the lair is clearly mentioning your house/place of residece. I think that was just LaVey's way of being "creepy." Probably because he was playing a character. I thought they could have been worded better myself, but it likely is worded like that to make a play on the whole "Satan" thing.

My question is why do you have to identify with the religion in order to live that style of life? I mean, are you only following the religion because it's the religion you felt like following, or is it because you were already following most of the moral codes laid out and figured you'd join it just because?

The latter. I read up on it and said, "Well I already do this, might as well take the label and run with it."

Though I don't always identify as a Satanist. More often than not, I'll just say I'm an atheist.

You don't always identify as a Satanist, but when you do, you sacrifice a virgin, right?

Does the virgin sacrifice still work if you fuck her through the gash in her jugular? 

Real fuckin' mature EndMaster. I'll have you know I'm just an initiate, so I don't get virgins. Only the full members do.

I get the sloppy, sticky leftovers and work with what I have. :(

You guys do that shit really.

See the thing is with most religion though, you tend to have to be an intolerant asshole about it or else you're just sort of a poseur.

You're supposed to follow the rules in whatever holy book you believe in, you can't just pick and choose what to follow because something isn't popular, or you can, but you're not exactly being "true to the faith" now are you?

Let's take Mormons for example, they used to practice polygamy and it was a big thing in their religion at one time until the federal government started putting the screws to them. So in order to "survive" they swept that under the rug and now say it's not a thing anymore and that any Mormon doing it is a heretic.

Bullshit. The Mormons riding their bikes and helping people are the watered down heretics that betrayed their religion. Those loonies in the compounds with fifty wives and nine hundred kids? Those are the REAL Mormons. Obviously they're oppressive tyrannical dicks, but hey they're keeping the faith.

The answer to any of this is usually "well times change and some of those things don't fit with the world view now so they can be discarded."

Of course times change, but if these holy books are truly divinely inspired, a human can't just go changing laws and rules around in like it was a government document. It's supposed to have come from God or whatever higher being laid down those rules in the first place.

Which is why I can't be religious at all, because my insensitive dick level is high enough without adding more arbitrary rules to make it even worse.

Which is my point in showing them Satanism. Although it is a title of controversy, what it says about how you should do things makes more sense than most other religion because it is more modern. Christianity, Judaism, Islam, etc. They are outdated, obsolete, and unnecessary. The holy text of each group is forever frozen in time and the followers are too stubborn to change it because they are afraid of being blasted by a bolt of lighting.

Satanism has a lot to do with common sense and "just do you." Even then, I fully expect it to become outdated, and as you've stated, the title is already unnecessary.

So, before I say anything stupid, what is satanism? Why do you follow those teaching? Actually, what does it teach?

I mean, I get the [very] general [and very vague] idea of it, but I haven't really heard much of anything other then the stereotypical brutal sacrifices to the devil, which I don't really believe is true. I'd look it up, but even when I look up Christian holy bibles, I have to go through about five pages of google before I find something that matches accurately, and I'd rather not get another stereotypical thing on accident instead of the real thing.

Like Danaos said, it's mainly a philosophy that at its core tells you to use common sense and generally be a thinking individual rather than blindly following a religion or doing what everyone else does.

However, Anton LaVey being an anti-social dick and a bit of a showman called it Satanism which had the extra bonus of pissing off Christians and luring in people who wanted to be "rebellious." The religious trappings added to the fun for a few I suppose and it was probably a good way to organize everyone.

The religion is also a little more on the "ruthless" side since it says things like you shouldn't waste time helping people that don't mean anything to you or "destroy someone" who is being a jerk to you or otherwise getting in your way and wasting your time.

It's basically the "Closed Fist" path from Jade Empire. Lol.

Anyway, like any religion, in time its members had disagreements over the "unholy" writings. So this resulted in some of the members breaking off from the original Church of Satan and they formed the Temple of Set. The Temple of Set goes on about how they're the TRUE hardcore satanists and LaVey Satanists are just poseurs. I think they're more into the magic side of things and have more spiritual talk, but I think the general philosophy is about the same.

Finally you have "Theistic Satanism" and this is actually the one that you see in the horror movies. Namely someone actually worshipping the Devil as a god. In the real world though this doesn't happen as much, but you do get people that do it. These are usually loner nut types though rather than any grand organized cult.

And again because everyone has to show how bad ass they are in front of the dark gods, you'll get these folks saying that they're the TRUE hardcore satanists because they're actually worshipping the devil and the other groups are just philosophical hipsters.

And then you've got the Sinagogue of Satan, which says "If Satanism is based on freedom, then to codify it would be ludicrous."  (Basically, that anyone claiming to be a "true" Satanist didn't understand the underlying philosophy.)

 

...am I the only one who finds it fascinating how religions diverge and evolve? It makes me want to create a fantasy setting where the religious beliefs in play are even a fraction as complicated as the real religious ecosystem.

Dawn of the Worlds?

Bounty Head Bebop; some of their games get complicated over idealisms and religious / political / economic groups.

Heh, well, there's that. But... I feel like part of the reason the real system is so complex and interesting is because there is no solid evidence for any particular religious belief -- no offense intended to those who think there is. I'm just saying, if we lived in a world full of verifiable miracles, I think religion would be a very different thing.

I thought it'd be more like how it was in the medieval time, with kings and politicians backing up various efforts and pursuits that religious leaders want to.

And then we'd have a lot more holy wars, but even now, those haven't gone away.

I always felt it made the different religions and thought processes so much more interesting. In the real world, there's no proof, so all religions can stand semi-equally, but in some fantasy religions, there is active proof, so the villanious/immoral characters become much more interesting. 

Huh. Examples, maybe? Trying to think where I've seen religion done well, in general...

Can't actually think of any at the moment, to be honest. Just think that they'd be more interesting if they know what hell is going to be like. 

Best fantasy religion? Skyrim. The deities in Skyrim are done very well, and there is no way you can say that they don't exist when they are right in your face. My current favorite would be between Herma-Mora and Boethia.

There is also the Dragon Age religion. Although there isn't much proof of the Maker/Creator actually existing. The Chantry acts much like the Catholic church today.

Which games are you talking about? 

Little does Danaos know... Anton LaVey was a Jew 

<_<     >_>

Not just any Jew... a Demon Jew! :o

NOOOOO!

I really hate all that satanist bullshit. Real satanists rape cats and sacrifice virgins, the rest are edgy faggots.

As for religion? Well, humans are by nature spiritual beings and shall always wonder about their existence, so yes, religion is needed.

Yes, it serves a purpose!--if you know there is a God like I do, then of course you'd believe in him!

The thing is, you don't actually know. You may believe as firmly as you want, based on what you've heard before, but there is no way of actually knowing that there is a god.

How do you know that he hasn't seen events that convinced him?

Cuz it'd have been made into a book by now. 

Because the way any "miracle" happens, and how any religion starts anyway, is entirely in how someone interprets the events around them. It's far from proof that he/she/it exists, hell, the plagues of Egypt are all a cause-and-effect tragedy that started with algal blooms.

While there's no proof that a God doesn't exist, I know for a fact that no one on earth actually knows one way or the other unless they're dead, or they've gone through some Scientific Anomaly/Paranormal Activity stuff that's actually managed to bring up half a shit's worth of conclusive evidence.

I know one guy who believes that everything happens because God sets it all up to happen that way. The Algal bloom thing in Egypt happened because God let it/caused it to happen.

Not sure how that works with Free-Will but it's a nice theory.

Free will is a farking clusterfark of contradictions. 

I don't doubt, that if there is a god, he/she/it would be able to cause an algal bloom on a whim, but it could just as well have been too many nitrogen-filled bodies in the water from some old conflict, or some other variable that caused the algae to get funky. Like I said, it's not proof, but finding ways to turn rivers into blood and drive out a sea of pests without breaking science is freaking awesome.

The whole thing about free will is just ridiculous when looking at it from a religious perspective.

Unless you can actually feel him.

Did he touch you?

Unless that's actually just a psychological feel-good effect in your brain. Show us, on the doll, where God touched you, and proof that it's not just an emotional chemical reaction that you believe is God, and maybe you'll be the first human since the beginning of time to actually provide conclusive proof that God does or does not exist.

All the proof I have is that Jesus said that the Holy Spirit (God) would come to those who believe that Jesus rose from the dead. Now if it was a chemical reaction, then you would feel the same reaction whenever you would think of Jesus, wouldn't you?

Jesus, a being (With no lasting, tangible proof of being a God) who follows a god that may or may not exist SAID something that may or may not be true. If the spirit you "feel" is a chemical reaction, you could feel it whenever you think of Jesus, whenever you have a spiritual experience, and so on and so forth. Everyone has different triggers for different things, that's why psychology is so damn difficult.

Then why would all true Christians feel him, and all atheists not? Jesus isn't a God, by the way, he is God. And there is proof that he is: the prophets in the old testament prophesied that he would be born in Bethlehem, he would be born in a manger, etc. 400 years before he came, and it all happened.

Wait, I'm confused... you're acknowledging that atheists have no reason to believe in Jesus? How do you justify the fact that we're going to hell, according to your belief system?

No atheist would believe that Jesus rose from the dead, or they wouldn't be atheists.

Err, yes, that's true. But it doesn't answer my question.

What do you mean?

Well, I suppose I shouldn't make assumptions about your specific beliefs... and if you're not actively trying to convert me, I really shouldn't be picking at those beliefs anyway. Sorry, please disregard my previous posts.

So what? It could be that one guy won the birth lottery, learned his scripture, and said just enough of  what people wanted to hear. And who said the prophets were anyone to trust? How do you know they weren't just high as balls and just sayng things they thought would happen? The human brain is a prediction machine, and sometimes people pull off some one-in-a-million shots. Since millions of people predict billions of things every day, no fucking shit a few of those things are going to happen. And why don't atheists feel it? Well, if you know a sugar pill is just a placebo, then you don't get anything out of it other than 3 or 4 extra calories. If you don't, and you're told that this pill can help you out with your knee pain, then chances are your brain will start to ignore some of the knee pain because that's what it thinks it's supposed to do.

You do not KNOW that God exists, you BELIEVE that God exists. Know the difference.

But then he died on the cross like was prophesied, and all the prophecies about his disciples came true, and every other prophecy about his death all came true--that couldn't be a coincidence. 

A missionary named Don Richardson saved a native from, I think, New Guinea, and after he prayed with him, the Native said, "I feel him within me". And this was before he knew about the Holy Spirit, or that you would receive him once you had faith in Jesus. So if it's not because you think that's what's supposed to happen, and it only happens in Christians, it has to be God.

What about the prophecy that states that Jesus will return while one of his disciples are still alive? That obviously didn't come true.

Quote Scripture por favor.

20Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee? 21Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do? 22Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow thou me. 23Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?

My rough translation :

Then Peter turned and saw John, who was the dude that was all up in Jesus' face going all like, "Bruh who's going to betray you?".

Peter, seeing John, said to Jesus, "Bruh what's the betrayer gonna du?"

Jesus replies with, "If I want him to remain until I come, what is it to you?  Follow me."

And then I get confused with the double negative, so bear with me for a little.

Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?

^So Jesus is all walking around, saying the betrayer ain't gonna die (is he re-affirming his previous statement), but if the betraying dude remains until Jesus returns and says, "...what does one make of that?"

I'm not sure Jesus says that's a prophesy as more of a suggestion, if anything.  O.o

I think that the super dank weed started messing with Jésus's head.

Damn Swift preventing my edit. Just for kicks, here is another thing in the Bible that didn't come true. The city of Tyre is supposed to no longer exist, but it does.

 

19For thus saith the Lord GOD; When I shall make thee [Tyre] a desolate city, like the cities that are not inhabited; when I shall bring up the deep upon thee, and great waters shall cover thee; 20When I shall bring thee down with them that descend into the pit, with the people of old time, and shall set thee in the low parts of the earth, in places desolate of old, with them that go down to the pit, that thou be not inhabited; and I shall set glory in the land of the living; 21I will make thee a terror, and thou shalt be no more: though thou be sought for, yet shalt thou never be found again, saith the Lord GOD.

what book was that from? @Danaos

I posted the link there.

It's Ezekiel 26.

Isn't that part of the Tanakh?

@Aman explain this shit.

Fairly certain Tyre is not in the same location as it was eons ago. It was renamed just like Jericho was. 

Here's another prophecy that didn't come true.

Joseph was supposed to die in Israel.

21And Israel said unto Joseph, Behold, I die: but God shall be with you, and bring you again unto the land of your fathers. 22Moreover I have given to thee one portion above thy brethren, which I took out of the hand of the Amorite with my sword and with my bow.

But he died in Egypt.

24And Joseph said unto his brethren, I die: and God will surely visit you, and bring you out of this land unto the land which he sware to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. 25And Joseph took an oath of the children of Israel, saying, God will surely visit you, and ye shall carry up my bones from hence. 26So Joseph died, being an hundred and ten years old: and they embalmed him, and he was put in a coffin in Egypt.

Yeah, bring you into Israel. As in, he was buried in Israel. 

As far as modern day Israel is concerned any land they set their eyes on is theirs, using this logic Egypt is part of Israel, disagree and they'll bomb you.

I guess you missed the "What Defines a Sport" thread. Israel isn't even relevant.

I was just making crazy, weird connections to justify the bible.

Yeah, obviously that's exactly what modern day Israel believes. They are constantly trying to conquer every single part of the Middle East, and are in fact, right now, in the process of conquering Gaza, via supplying elecreicty to it's citizens.

The horror 

It would be pretty badass if they were, especially the way you are putting it.

Honestly wish they were, so that when people complain about the country in ridiculous ways like that, I can't chalk it up to inbred anti-semitism and a whole ton of bullshit spoon fed into their mouth by the media. Ugh. 

It doesn't say he was supposed to die in Israel! Even if it did, it says he was buried in Egypt.

@Danaos

I would have accepted him being buried in Israel, not Egypt. What you said makes no sense.

According to Jewish beliefs Moses brought his coffin to Israel on his way out. Original Hebrew text implies it.

@Danaos

It probably either is talking about the end times, or it's saying there won't be any believers there.

There won't be any believers there? It is clearly talking about the destruction of the city. Also, the end times have been predicted countless times already and have all been wrong.

People generally just need to calm down, it's like they want the world to end in a way, just to say that they were right, even though they'd be dead.

It's not like Jesus will come back to save them. There are verses in the Bible in which he states that he REALLY wants to destroy and conquer the Earth.

Same with basically every other religion. God says "I love you" and that he will forgive sins, but then there's hell and the fact that God has wiped out entire races of people, despite saying he 'loves' everyone. Noah is one example, all humans were killed but Noah and his family.

1. Not ever religion believes in the hell you think of.

2. You're only looking at the mortal world. When you recognize there's a spiritual realm (heaven, purgatory, whatever), then God 'killing' people isn't nearly as evil as it may seem. Because it isn't over when you die.

You know, the bible just asks you to love God. Old-Testament God is basicallly an action-movie dad in this respect, sure, God might love you in return, but he has no real problem bashing your teeth in for being an asswipe.

And then there's the whole thing with the New Testament, but that's just Jesus, who is somehow separate and not-separate from God, but he just tells you to love everyone and spread the peace. Jesus is the peaceful guy, but for all we know God is still an unrelenting BAMF who decides to stay silent most of the time. (And Revelations definitely proves that God's still got ass-kicking down to a T.)

There is no such verse. If you read one, it was talking about the antichrist.

Jesus didn't come to bring/spread peace, he came with a sword and he plans to use it.

Luke 12:49-53

34Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 35For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

He's also an asshole about it. You better love him more than the people that are actually there for you.

Matthew 16:24-28; Mark 8:34-38; Luke 9:23-27

37He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 39He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

He plans to divide, destroy, and conquer. He will make you take up arms against your own family if he has to.

Matthew 10:34-36

49I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled? 50But I have a baptism to be baptized with; and how am I straitened till it be accomplished! 51Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: 52For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. 53The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

This is why Jesus is in my top five most badass characters from mythology! I absolutely love his quotes on divide and conquer, and how he plans to rule.

You are completely wrong. Don't you see that right now, you are against me because I follow him. The world is against Christians. He's not saying that he wants to conquer the world--the world wants to conquer him.

@Danaos

Lol. Okay.

Mitch... "The World" practically is Christian (at least, brought up on New Testament principles.) It's the largest organized religion dude :P

I thought Islam was the largest.

Islam is supposed to be the fastest growing religion, Christianity still takes the top spot.

Okay, I need to rephrase that: Christianity is the most persecuted religion in the world. 

How so? 

XD

Fucking typical. 

Pff, on the internet, maybe. There's still a helluva lot more negative energy being directed at other religions. Jews and Muslims are being killed for it daily. Masques and Synagogues get blown up all the time, but when's the last time you heard about a church bombing?

9_9

I disagree emphatically. I think the Jews take that one. Let's look at the shit the Jews have put up with.

Crusades, losing their homeland (twice I think), Soviet Union (though this goes to any religion), Modern Israel at war with neighboring countries, Holocaust, Seleucids sacrifices, Rome, Christian ruled Rome turned Judaism into a crime, Roman Emperor Constantine, the list goes on.

I'm surprised the Jewish culture and religion is still in existence, these fuckers are tough to kill! I wonder what this world would be like if the Jews just got the message and let the world destroy them. Oh yeah, people don't like Muslims very much either.

EDIT: If anything, Christianity persecutes the most. Either them or the Muslims.

 

https://www.google.com/#q=what%20is%20the%20most%20persecuted%20religion%20in%20the%20world

1. Christians

2. “Muslims and Jews experienced six-year highs in the number of countries in which they were harassed by national, provincial or local governments,” the study found, but Christians continue to be the world's most oppressed religious group, with persecution against them reported in 110 countries.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/jud_pers1.htm

I think the Jews have more than just six-year highs. Every time a Christian is disagreed with, they automatically scream "persecution!"

Here is the most accurate way to depict how you and I appear in my mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmXpJuEnNnw

That video is a pretty accurate representation of this conversation.
 

Lol, I think that was a little exaggerated :)

Just out of curiosity... have you personally dealt with anything you'd call persecution? If so, what happened?

Not really, yet. I'm only 13. 

"Yet", are you expecting to be persecuted in any way?

Are you open about your beliefs at school?

Or, wait, let me guess -- homeschooled?

Would the lunatic fringe have it any other way, Morgan? :P 

...I was homeschooled. XD

Pfft, I got harassed in kindergarten for being jewish. Also a dabbling of racism, but whatever. 

Cars drive by and Gentiles yell "JEW" menacingly at me XD

Oh man, I remember that. XD

It's happened more than once, you know haha.

Man... that sucks. :/

Nah, I don't even remember what happened anymore. Was a long time ago, ha ha. Just proving a point about how being young doesn't protect you from persecution (hate using tht word. Makes it sound much worse then it is in this case) to cmitchel

You're absolutely right, Aman. Age doesn't protect shat.

I don't want to get into specifics, but when I was younger, I literally used to be afraid of white people.

A lot of white people hated all Muslims/Arabs after 9/11. It's emotion, and love for one's country getting extremely out of hand.

Not sure what you mean by the last part.

No, it wasn't just Muslims - it was any who had dark/brown skin. Fucking Sikhs who didn't deserve shit. No one did.

well, someone did, but the fury tended to hit everyone who didn't deserve anything like that. 

The anger wasn't good, that's for sure- but it was understandable. People saw the bombings and they also saw people in Muslim countries celebrating the attack. Many short-minded people wouldn't be able to distinguish between extremists and regular Muslims. Take this article, for example. It's about Germany rather than the U.S, but I think it's relatable. Take a look at the comments below.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/thousands-of-germans-protest-against-anti-islam-rallies/ar-BBhydKa

Oof. 

This has just turned into a competition over which religion has been persecuted the most.

Have you ever noticed that the religions that really get persecuted don't scream out persecution?

I don't know what kind of persecution he means, whenever I hear persecution I think about the holocaust of people being put to death, beaten, bombed. I don't really see where it is happening to Christians in the majority, unlike the Jews who people have hated on for not a lot of reason.

Bigot: "Fuck you atheist!"

Atheist: "Fuck you too."

Bigot: "Fuck you Hindu."

Hindu: ...

Bigot: "Fuck you Jew!"

Jew: "Okay."

Bigot: "Fuck you Muslim!"

Muslim: *clicks detonator*

Bigot: "Fuck you Christian!"

Christian: "Why are you persecuting me?!"

Bigot: "Fuck you Satanist!"

Satanist: "I'm gonna rip out your eyes and piss in your skull!"

That's not persecution at all if that's the type he's talking about, they're just words. Jésus, people are fucking sensitive these days.

I was exaggerating.

I understand that, but people are generally too sensitive about stuff.

GLORIOUS

"The world is against Christians."

Whahh? And how is he against you in any justifiable way? If I can read English correctly, he just showed you some verses and you got offended.

Yeah I'm just gonna leave it at that. I sense this turning into:

"This doesn't make sense."

"Yes it does, because God."

Let the butt hurt commence.

1. That's laughable, actually. He's talking about how deciding to go off and be a Christian will probably get you cast out worse than if you were a Jew.

2. Again, he's saying not to lie down and be a farking pussy about your being an outcast because of it. Just like when he was saying "Turn the other cheek". Way back then, pimp-slapping was the ONLY way to slap. To slap with the palm implied you actually had some modicum of respect for them. (To use your left hand was a sin, because strict Jewy reasons.)

Whaaaaaaaat? Left hand isn't a jewish curse thing, I dont think. (May be wrong).

(I think Penguin was just adding that in for comedic affect)

It's not a Jewish curse specifically, but back then, and in that general area, there wasn't much water to go around. The left hand was usually the least washed, or "Unclean". People used their right hands to eat and shit.

Ah, okay. Because there's a jew hero who was left handed, and I was really confused as to how he could be a hero then. XD 

Makes no sense. You wrap the most holy object we have on your left hand.

What about the third?

He's introducing a brand-new fucking religion into a world where you get killed or disowned by your family for breaking the rules. Of course there's going to be "Fire" and "Division" and other uproar.

And a lot of drugs so you can make your religious laws as bat shit crazy as possible.

See, this is the kind of athiest I dislike. Danaos is awesome, this guy is just throwing insults whenever he can, even when they don't make sense in context.

Aww shucks.

I'm just trying to lighten up the mood, really I am. :-)

10/10 would say again.

I take much more from it when I look at it from the perspective of a conqueror. Absolutely amazing. I wish Alexander or Caesar said something like that, I'd love them much more.

Danaos, when have you not looked at something from the perspective of a conqueror? 

I...true.

And I know for a fact Jesus didn't really expect Christians to build an army and start kicking some Roman ass. The city he probably lived in as a kid was burned down and purged by the Romans. That kind of thing will leave a lasting impression of might and brutality in someone's mind. He wanted to do a peaceful protest.

E.G., "Going the Whole 10 miles" since it was illegal for a Roman soldier to make a civvie carry their bags for more than X miles, insisting on going further out of "kindness" could land the soldier in some deep doo-doo. "Don't just give him your coat, give him ALL your clothes." Back then, nudity was frowned on, but it cast more dishonor on the guy who was looking at that person's nudity rather than the nude in question. It's actually quite ingenious and hilarious.

Wouldn't this reason also stick with examples 1 and 2 also?

It's a metaphor. 

The Bible says nobody will know when the end will come. People that predict the end times don't know what they're talking about.

Yea, that's because it will come true.

Also, people tend to interpret prophesies to come true.

It's all bullshit, I think some crazies found some dank weed a few thousand years ago and thought they saw 'God' and said stoners started telling people about 'God' and this dank weed, which by the way they found growing alongside a can of Mountain Dew and a pack of Doritos.

It makes sense, look at all the witches they discovered due to tainted grain.  LSD resulted in the The Salem Witch Trials.

Every one was on drugs, it all makes sense now.

Well of course. Say Jesus was a con-man, and a genius, (Which he might have to be, if he was human, unless he was fictionalized. This is assuming that the whole "God" thing is not a myth.) He would have to make every effort to follow these prophecies, and he would do a damn good job of making it look like what he was doing was the thing he intended. And besides, you have to realize that crucifixion was a very common method of execution under the Roman Empire, and it was very easy to piss off the empire enough to have that happen to you. People were crossed for being petty thieves, I can hardly imagine that speaking out against a God-King and demanding respect from the Romans wouldn't get you crucified.

And the Native's reaction was an act of simple deduction. Praying implies that you are speaking to a God or Goddess of some sort, and Gods are traditionally male. At least the big, important ones that people pray to on a whim, because sexist history. It's totally natural to "Feel a Holy Presence" whether a holy presence is actually there. That's what the chems tell the brain. I will tell you a thousand times, YOU. DO. NOT. KNOW. THAT. GOD. EXISTS.

A lot of prophesies in the Bible are rubbish. It foretold that there would be non-believers, but that is true for literally anything. There were non-believers during the time when Jesus was alive.

It mentioned that there would be wars. That is so vague and generalized, of course there will be wars. It's like me saying that there will be rain.

It doesn't just say "there will be wars", "there will be non-believers", you're just quoting part of it. Even if it did, all the prophesies came true or will be coming true, anyway.

No I'm summarizing it. Like I said, predictions can be so generalized that they make it seem as though anyone can see te future.

Like Sentinel said, plenty of people make predictions. If I said that it would rain tomorrow with dark clouds and winds, Sentinel said it would be sunny with clear blue skies, you said it would be partly cloudy with a chance of rain, etc, ONE of us will be right. It doesn't mean that we can see the future. It just means that we can make a generalized prediction that has a chance to come true.

What if you make 30 prophecies and they all come true? 

I wouldn't think anything of it. Again, anything can come true when you interpret it to come true.

I can say that there will be red rain falling from the sky. The wrath shall fall upon mankind like a hammer and punish all those who deny God.

I just made that up, but let's say that some crazy shit decides to nuke a country. Prophecy fulfilled. What if a crazy axe murderer kills a ton of people that happened to not be Christians? Prophecy fulfilled. What if acid rain hits a particular country? Prophecy fulfilled.

I can interpret my prediction any way I like.

I just wanted to say from an atheist to a Christian, have a great life, believe what you want to believe, but above all else don't lose your faith.

...that seems like kind of an odd thing for an atheist to say. Speaking as one myself.

Edit: The last bit, specifically.

I feel as if people want to devote their lives to God they should do it and spend their whole life as a christian, muslim, etc. If you lose your faith at some point down the road what was the point?

Huh. Okay. Personally I think changing your beliefs in response to new evidence is a virtue, not a fault, but to each their own, I suppose.

You'd think so, if you'd never seen Patton Oswalt (a professing atheist) say that he unabashedly loves religion.

I agree with him, the mind games work.

I'm sure my pot head friends can confirm that they experience Jesus all the time.

Perhaps the writer of The Oatmeal has a point about Jibbers Crabst.

Like multiple people said above me, religion can, most of the time, help people make "good" choices leading to a better lifestyle, so yes, it does serve a purpose.

In Islam, we are taught that life in general is a test of your faith to God. So, the way I see it, modern society is just a part of the test.

Of course, looking at it from face value, it would appear there is no reason for me to believe in God - it seems like a big waste of time. But this is where faith and submission (arguably the two biggest components of Islam) come into play.

(Arguably the two biggest component of any religion)

Depends. For example, there's Zen Buddhism where it's not really about serving a deity but more to do with experiencing the journey of life and finding your own path to enlightenment.

I consider that to be a waste of a life. If you spend your entire lifetime preparing for the "afterlife" that may or may not exist, you are wasting it. No one can say with absolute certainty that there is a god and an afterlife.

Z Buddhism doesn't really believe in an afterlife. It's just the path to perfect yourself. Know an awesome dude who follows that. Coolest hippy I ever met. 

Sure, but on the other hand, since there isn't any proof an afterlife doesn't exist, and you spend your entire lifetime indulging your physical needs then you really wasted it. 

By that logic it's best to be on the safe side and be religious. :P

ooh, I remember that one. I forget which religious philosopher came up with that. 

Our principal? :P

:P 
He's just quoting someone else, ha ha. XD

You're probably thinking of Pascal.

"Pascal's Wager" is usually brought up in defense of being religious. Usually for Christianity.

The problem with it though is you still don't know if you're following the correct god and every day you're following the wrong one, you're just making the real one madder and madder.

Yeah, that's the one. 

Ha ha, yeah, I pointed that out. It's a losing gamble no matter what you choose. XD Though it's probably still closer to winning if you guess a religion. Since, unlike athiesm, you can still win. XD

Untrue. It's like Homer Simpson said, "What if you're actually worshipping the wrong god and only making the real god angry every time yu do it?"

If I am brought before a god in judgment, I can at least say that I didn't have any proof that he existed, thus I chose not to worship any god. You cannot say that if your god happens to be wrong, you outright mocked the real god by worshipping another.

I think a defense of, "I didn't believe" is a lot worse than, "I tried my best."

Hmmm, true.

EDIT: Though as far as the Christian god goes, that argument won't work if you tried your best. He is a "jealous" god and would likely prefer someone not try than someone try and get it wrong.

I wouldn't know, but I think it may be a matter of 'how wrong' in some cases. Like, God would probably get really 'mad' if you worship the moon (straight up idolatry) but would probably be slightly less mad if you worshipped the Holy Ghost (indirect[?] idolatry?). Maybe?
Then again, the Chick tracts pretty much say that anything but Jesus sends you right off to eternal damnation, but that's fundamentalism. Other sects are probably more lenient. I dunno.

But, you also mock other religions. XD

I'm not arguing anything here, I find the idea funny. (guessing god is an amusing concept). But it's a higher chance of getting into heaven then an athiest has. 

Meh, I'd rather go to hell anyway. In heaven you spend eternity kissing God's ass whereas hell is where the cool kids are.

I don't think that's how hell works. They're going to find some way of torturing you.

And they give you a celestial lobotomy in heaven so you you're happy all the time, so you wouldn't get bored or tired of praising god.

If I remember correctly, hell tortures the evil people. I haven't done anything that would classify me as evil yet.

Well it depends on the religion. If we're talking Christianity or Islam for example you're already evil and going there because you're not following the rules.

Have you read "Hell is the Absence of God" by Ted Chiang?

God will make you love him unconditionally, then he'll abandon you forever.

 

Never read that one. Almost sounds 1984ish where they make you love Big Brother before killing you.

How will he make us love him?

Read the story, seriously.  It's great.  All about people in a world where everyone knows for an absolute fact that God exists, and that only people who love God go to heaven.  But you can see hell, and it doesn't look that bad.  It's just where the people who don't love God when they die end up.

God is all powerful.  He mindfucks you into loving him.  (Which sounds about right.)

Nah, Christian mythology has everyone tortured forever if they don't accept christ. You'll still screwed. 

Not necessarily. I don't really think any biblical descriptions of heaven are out there, just, "Enlightenment". Of course, Dante did say that Heaven was something like that, but what the fuck does Dante know? It was just a satire anyway.

I have no idea what's going to happen in heaven. Don't claim to. Surprised you know though. :P

It's all speculation. I remember being told that you'll just live in the glory of God, which to me sounds like 24/7 ass-kissing worship.

At least Satan will give me some goddamn breathing room.

You're saying Heaven is your opinion of speculation (specifically a negative one), while Hell is your opinion of speculation (specifically a positive one). Doesn't that seem biased? XD

Yes it's biased. I'm a Satanist damn it!

What does Judaism say about the two places?

:P

Dunno. I know hell is temporary, heaven is something good, and super bad people are erased. 

I thought Judasm didn't have a "Hell" but it had Sheol where people wait around until they get judged and if you were good enough you got to go heaven.

Gehinom is the Jewish hell. It's a firepit where your sins are burnt off, or something like that. 

Nah, while 'Hell' doesn't really exist, Gehennom is where nearly everybody goes (even [most of] the righteous) to get cleaned so they can go to Heaven. It's kinda like purgatory, but it's mixed debate what goes on there (ranges from fire, to being forced to watch a video of your entire life with your loved ones watching it with an emphasis on your sins, and studying without a clock.)
Below Gehennom is the abyss where the extremely wicked go. There their souls get 'erased' from existence. Someone like Hitler would be killed, be recreated, then killed again matching the amount of people he killed in his lifetime. Then he'd be erased. Something like that.

That sounds a lot like an alternate ending of Death Note where Light is to suffer the death of each individual person he killed (a few million) and get revived each time to suffer the next death.

I was thinking that too! XD
Might be worth mentioning this all Kabbalah stuff so I'm not even gonna try claiming I have an idea of what's going on. Very trippy.

Revelation trippy, or a little less violent, or...?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogbowl

Some fantastic music.  Tunney was a genius

Naw, different kind of trippy. Minhat Yehuda is an extremely... Odd, collection of writing. Trying to wrap your head around it is hard enough, and even that's considered 'simplified' Kabbalah.
Revelations is just bizarre ramblings, Kabbalah is concepts about the next world, dreams, etc. Takes a lot more to understand.

Any places (preferably online) where I can get a copy or a summary?

It's not something that can be copied, really. It's a collection of writings from rabbis thousands of years ago. There's loads of different collections.

You could probably find the 'Zohar' (the most famous book) pretty easy, but it's translated to English so it's probably messed up somewhere.

You also have to watch out for the 'Cult' of Kabbalah. Which is seriously messed up.

Is that only for the Jews, though?

Do the unchosen still go to heaven?

I think so?. There's a statement in the Talmud that states that, originally Non-Jews were given the seven noahide laws, but they didn't keep them, so God was like, "well, you guys don't have to do it anymore, I guess." So now it just requires being a good person for non-jews. Noahide is a plus though. (That's how I rationalize not caring about trans, gays, etcs. Nonjews can do whatever they want)

I've heard that heaven has tiers though, and that nonjews can only get to a certain level or something like that. 

(This is where Aman and my beliefs diverge a little, haha.)

(That's how I rationalize not caring about trans, gays, etcs. Nonjews can do whatever they want)

Lol.

Well you heard him gentiles, go nuts!

 

Are you really using Pascal's Wager on me?

How do you know if the god you're worshipping is the right one? How do you know if he isn't a fruity tooty god that takes everybody in? What if there is a god, but no heaven? What if god prefers atheists over theists? The list goes on and on.

Apparently. XD
I repeat-- be on the safe side and be an 'in general' good person. Follow the 7 Noahide laws and you're pretty safe.
You don't have to declare, "I'm worshipping [specific deity]", just keep it loose and refer to it as 'Creator' or something. That probably will get you farther than 'nothing' haha.

You make a valid point.

Is your life meaningless, repetitive, and depressing?  It's not because of bad decisions you made, it's because Sithrak hates you!

Let him into your heart.  Blame him for everything.

 

XD

Glorious. XD

It's funny because I JUST got finished talking to some Jehovah's Witnesses.

Did you tell them you were a Satanist? Because that seems like it would make for a hilarious conversation, assuming you didn't scare them off immediately. XD

The thought crossed my mind, but I didn't. I let them know I'm an atheist and former Christian though. We had a nice, civil discussion.

Cool. That's definitely the more mature approach. ^_^

No, see, Danaos, they won!  They got to express their views to you.  

That's how they get you.  They expect you to disagree.  They hope you're going to want to talk about why you don't believe their religion. 

If you let them talk to you at all, they win.

 

...wait, what?

When they come to witness to you, they're hoping you're going to engage them in discussion.  They know people who follow other religions/ no religion can be baited into inviting them in to talk.  They expect you to try and convert them to your religion or explain why you don't believe in their religion. 

When they witness, they're not expecting  most people to convert on the spot.  They just want a chance to tell you their gospel.

If you talked to them, they got what they wanted from you.

Ah, I see. I wouldn't really call that a 'win' for them, considering that I don't 'lose' in that scenario. Personally I'd have no problem inviting them in... but my housemates don't want to deal with them, so I don't.

Funny thing was, I actually ended up talking about atheism and the errors in the Bible more than they spent talking about how great the gospel is. There was a younger man (probably 21 years old) and an older woman (probably late 30s early 40s). The guy honestly had no solid way to answer anything I said and kept looking at the lady.

For instance, I asked why God put the Tree of Knowledge in the garden if he (being an all knowing being) knew they would eat from it. They had no real answer. The lady said that God, "chooses when he wants to know everything, but he doesn't actually know everything. He know everything, but he decides when he does."

Then the guy added on by saying, "God can just see into the future, but he doesn't exactly know everything."

So, God is Google?

You could make it a win-win if you are doing something like say, splitting firewood or raking leaves or whatever.  Just put 'em to work.  You'll get all the free labor you want, as long as you let 'em rattle.  ; )

You're thinking of Mormons that will do stuff for you.

As far as I know the Jehovah Witnesses don't do the work/preach exchange, they just bang on your door in the morning and start preaching to you until you slam the door in their face.

It' not like I didn't say my part.

I just didn't feel like a debate. :P

"If you spend your entire lifetime preparing for the "afterlife" that may or may not exist, you are wasting it. No one can say with absolute certainty that there is a god and an afterlife."

Well what if I said that spending your entire lifetime not preparing for an afterlife was a waste of time?

Heresy? Jk

 I think it's just personal preference for the people. You either believe in no afterlife and thus you permanently dying after physical death or you believe that somehow you survive(for good or ill, either way you survive) and usually judged for your actions.

I always thought it as a difference in the belief of hope, you hope you survive or you don't. 

I think it's a matter of station, of caste, of simple math.

If a relatively smart yet poor man evaluates his life at 30, when he more or less has an idea of his viability/earning potential, and finds that his future possible income could never make the kind of "dream life" he'd want for himself on this earth, then he attempts to sock away money in a heavenly, unseen account.  This, as all his spiritual leaders tell him, earns him credit in the Afterlife and with the God who runs it.  It makes sense, from a reasonable expectations standpoint.

I don't mean to say that I extol the virtues of such a thing, though.  It seems to me that religions of all types use this common human frailty to prey on the hopeless, the poor, and the weak.

According to the Christian faith saving all the kittens in the world aren't going to help you get into heaven, you just have to accept Jesus which can be done at anytime.

So if you want to roll the dice a little and try to go for the big score: Be a sinner all your life and then on your deathbed accept Jesus.

Oh, I'm already invested in that lottery... bought the ticket when I was a kid.  (It's apparently good for life.)

It doesn't really matter what you live like afterwards, either, as the Bible's pretty clear on the "once saved, always saved" message.  Ah, loopholes.  ^_^

I don't think you get the point... 

Fuck it, just enjoy those hookers. 

I shall, sir!  They are of the highest quality... just like my drugs.  ^_^

The Virgin Mary is a woman who, according to various eye-witness accounts, gave birth to Jesus after "not having sex." She never had vaginal sex with her husband. Anal probing, while finishing off ass to mouth was her preference. She lied to her husband when she got pregnant and declared that a ghost had impregnated her with "a magic bottle of Tums." Thus came the story that she was a virgin, a story that no one originally believed except for her naive and trusting husband, the cuckold, Joseph.

I was just thinking about that too, in relation to Jesus being real person.

Virgin Mary was actually a whore (or just a cheater) that had sex with multiple men. She eventually screwed the wrong guy, and was impregnated by him. The penalty for such an act was death by stoning, so in order to avoid being executed, she lied and said that it was God's child. There were of course people that didn't believe her, but they were probably outnumbered by those that did believe.

As a result, Jesus would be born and be led to believe that he is the son of God. Jesus was indeed a prophet, but he wasn't magical. All accounts of his holy acts are just exaggerated tales by those who followed him (Jesus also carried a secret container of instant-wine mix that he poured into the water when no one was looking).

He was also a ridiculously good fisherman. Seriously, Bethlehem fishing champion for 5 straight years.

I like how Greg Giraldo put it: "Our whole religion is based on a woman who REALLY stuck to her story."

It's sad because it's true. It almost makes me want to go back in time and pimp slap that ho.

Or perhaps give her just a little kick in the cunt.

Yes, that's a new found theory that nobody even in Jesus's time even thought off... I surely admire the modern man's thought. 

Dearest brother, is that sarcasm I sense?

I bet you that no one knew that Jesus had a wine mix that he stashed away.

"Debunking" miracles like a pro... lmfao.

Now that I thought about it, didn't prostitutes get stoned in smaller towns back in the day?  Y'know, places where people could afford to not upset a Roman just because all the rabble crushed someone's favorite meatbag?

Or was the stoning thing limited to people outside of Rome's influence?  Or was it just Islams?

Jews have the hard on for stonings. In Greece prostitutes were fine and the Romans copied that from us to. Arabs were too busy roaming their desert back then.

At the end of the day, all that matters about religion is that someone is prosecuted.

Ah, a Scientologist I see.

Persecuted, dumbass. 

So am I the only person here who was raised as a Mormon? Figures.

Seems like it so far.

So what's Mormonism like? I didn't have a favorable impression of it, thanks to Orson Scott Card's raging homophobia, but then I found out the guys on my favorite podcast are Mormon. And they seem more respectful of other beliefs than I would have expected.

Do you know the level of tolerance they have to have being the target of door-to-door stereotypes?  xD

Not a clue. They didn't really talk about their beliefs at all, except as a sort of 'in the interest of full disclosure' thing before launching into a discussion of writing about religion in fiction. The podcast is Writing Excuses, by the way, if anyone's looking for a good podcast on writing.

 Well it's not that hard to be tolerant to other religions/values. Most LDS(Latter-Day-Saints, actual name of the Mormon church.) families are taught to be tolerant to others, I was raised that way and families are an important part of the religion.

  They go door-to-door because it's effective and because of more spiritual reasons in that the missionaries are guided to some doors. 

Ofc it's easy to be tolerate of others' values, but I was speaking about how people expect Mormons to start popping up questions to every person they see (which, to some extent, is true).

I'm not sure what you mean, care to elaborate?

I think Swift is saying that Mormons have to be tolerant to put up with all the ongoing jokes about them, specifically all their door to door preaching which usually results in people swearing at them and slamming the door in their face or outright taking advantage of them with their offers to help.

I'm still confused. lol

 Is swift asking a question in there or just saying Mormons are tolerant which is true? 

As far as I can tell he wasn't asking a question so much as he was just saying Mormons have to be tolerant to put up with the various stereotypes other people tend to place on them.

Like the misunderstanding of the polygamy issue or Mormons having horns on their head? :p 

Lol, who said they had horns on their heads?

I don't know where it started but I remember hearing about it from a member who had moved into my parents area when I was a kid.

I still don't get the big deal about why they (or anyone really) can't practice polygamy though. If some dude is crazy enough to want more than one wife, he should be allowed to do it.

Partners get jealous...too much?  Even when they live in a "sharing is caring" household?

Well that's the danger of such a set up of course, but I assume all parties would go in knowing what they were getting into.

If someone had some reservations that maybe this could turn out bad for them I'm sure legal documents could be drawn up before a wedding took place or either that, just not get married.

No one aside from the top 1% (wealthiest) can even afford this option anymore!

I liken it to Solomon, who was reported to have been the wealthiest man... like, ever.  He had enough wives and concubines to basically fuck 3 different women every day for a year and never see the same woman twice.  And this was the guy who, after it all, ended up writing that "all is vanity" (Everything is worthless.).

So probably even if you COULD do it... freakin' WHY?!?

Well that's why I said if some dude was crazy enough he still should be allowed.

There are ways around the financial difficulties of the situation, namely you could do what the more fundy mormons do and keep a tight rein over your wives so they don't step out of line and don't ask for too much in life.

Or on the flip side, you could just have all your wives go out and work while you sit at home and do nothing but collect the checks. I suppose that's sort of like being a pimp though and you'd probably have to do the stay at home dad thing, unless a couple of your wives were helping out on that front as well.

In either case, you'd still have to be a manipulative magnificent bastard who has the charisma to pull it off.

Yes... a magnificent, CRAZY bastard.  X)

Apparently my housemate got that one once too. He's Jewish. 9_9

Whoops, missed this somehow. Thanks for answering!

The Shaytards?

Definitely not. I don't really watch stuff on YouTube. It's a podcast called Writing Excuses. They do 15-minute episodes on various topics of interest to writers of fiction, particularly science fiction, fantasy, and horror.

All the religious talk made me think of a short story I read that had a 1940s noir type setting with a typical cynical private detective.

There was one oddity to the setting though. There was no "God" but there was "Mom."

Basically in this universe Mom was essentially God and all the religious teachings were based on old fashioned things a mother would say like "You can't fool mom." or "Don't make that face or it'll stay that way." (Which it did in this universe)

The detective in question was hired by the Church of Mom to find a young boy by the name of Tommy who was said to speak directly to Mom.

Along the way he runs into hired thugs and rival churches. Like the Mormoms Church which practices polygamy so that children have many moms, and the Church of Mom makes a brief concern about the "Oedipals" possibly being involved with the boy's kidnapping.

Turns out though the boy was kidnapped by this revolutionary group that wants to break free of the "tyranny of Mom." They know he'll cry out for Mom when they ungag him and when she appears they plan to simultaneously step on a crack to break her back.

The plan of course backfires since as soon as she arrives (Looking like a perfect 50s house wife) she instantly sends all the revolutionaries to their room. (Which is sort of like "hell" in this universe)

Mom rewards the detective with a fresh baked apple pie for his efforts in saving Tommy. (And he becomes slightly less cynical)

...you sure this isn't an extension for that kid's story you made?

Nah, I wish.

It was a short story from a comic book from the 80s that doesn't exist anymore (The company doesn't even exist anymore)

It wouldn't be plagiarism to "borrow" the now-dead idea then...would it?

So you're going to make a story based on this universe?

I assume as long as it wasn't the same story, it would just be fanfic.

EDIT: I should point out that this particular story actually had a CYOA type of game in the comic too, which more or less followed the events in the story.
 

I thought you'd deign to take it.  :P