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Every band goes through drama and unfortunately ANGZT was no exception. It’s an old story, one that’s been told many times before, but fuck it. It’s not like you lot have anything to do.

The following is from a recent interview from well known ANGZT guitarist and equally well known mother fucker “EndMaster”

Oh it all started very randomly as these things often do way back in 1976. I was on tour with Massive Headwound at the time and I saw these two rookies that were our opening act. I believe their name was Open Cold Sore or some stupid shit like that.

They were just a singer and a drummer, but they still managed to keep the crowd enthralled until it was time for us to play. I was impressed by these two since I didn’t even know they were the opening act until they got on stage and played. Until then I just thought they were two of Mizal’s rent boys or maybe our roadies, but I digress.

I won’t go into the details of what happened when we took the stage, because it’s an infamous tale that everyone already knows. Bucky got completely shitfaced, vomited on stage and then lit his crotch on fire. That would have been fine since it was part of the usual act, but of course his alcohol content was so high that time he completely burst into flame and ran around like a mad man eventually setting the whole place on fire.

I’m still pissed about him not paying for my burned out amp.

Anyway, with Bucky spending time in the burn ward and Mizal shortly getting arrested on drug charges and domestic abuse towards her partner Axiom, I found myself without a band. I considered going solo, but then I remember the two rookies that opened up for us.

I approached this Aman and Sentinel and it wasn’t long before we had come to an agreement and started our new band ANGZT.

Now it wasn’t perfect in the beginning either. I was older so I had to endure variations getting called a mean old bastard or an outright dick all the time whenever I was telling Aman that his singing was off or Sentinel’s drumming was shit. Still, they fortunately pulled in a lot of equally hot young groupies which neither paid much attention to. In Aman’s case he belonged to some weird religion and felt they were all whores unfit for his seed. Guess he was looking for a proper wife even back then.

As far as Sentinel was concerned, I still don’t know what the fuck that weird fuck is into. Says he’s a furry, but he still never talked to the fox girls that were at the Furvert Fair that we unfortunately had to play at in 1992. Something about going through an asexual phase or something. Whatever.

Not like I gave a shit, just meant more pussy for me. Of course I was always more into the moms of these young groupies. I mean I wasn’t a pervert.

Anyway after a rocky start, we hit our stride in 1979 at the Infinite Stadium which our new agent Will managed to book for us. Man, it was a marvel to behold back in the day, let me tell you. Sort of a shame what became of the place in later years, but that’s a tale for another time. This was also around time Sentinel insisted we should get a bass player. I never saw much use for them myself since I could easily do everything on guitar, but I figured it would allow me more free time to fuck more moms so why not?

Didn’t really matter who was playing bass since all of his sound was going to be mixed out of the album anyway. We hired Derp, another degenerate furry unfortunately, but I guess we were ahead of our time for the cosplay crowd that would become a plague on the scene ten years later.

What? I’m not talking about that. Dead whores can pop up anywhere. That case was dismissed and I was found not guilty. You want this interview to continue or not?

Anyway, so the 80s were great for ANGZT. You all know the main stories. They just did a movie or some shit on TV about us during that time period. Got most of it right despite those fucks never consulting me. Have no damn idea why they had that pretty fucker Kiel playing my role though. Just because the guy’s got a hood on his head doesn’t mean shit. Completely wrong temperament and look. Should have just hired me to play myself. Hell, I wouldn’t have even asked for the 5 million that Kiel asked for.

I’m sure he bought his fancy partner Seth a nice new house with their eight adopted Tawanaland children or whatever the fuck. Didn’t they get married…they didn’t? Oh he’s with that cartoonist now? Huh. Well whatever, I never keep up on Hollywood shit.

So anyway the thing about being on top is you’re bound to fall off eventually. That was never more apparent when our agent Will insisted that we needed to change our image. Said our numbers were dropping and it would be best to change things up a bit.

Now let me clear this up once and for all. We were not and have never been a fucking emo band. All those whining shits like the Cat Ryders, WC Clan, animal fuckers or whatever the fuck, are goddamn fucking emo. We were METAL.

So I want to make it also perfectly clear that when we went through that stupid fucking stoner grunge phase in the 90s, that was NOT my fucking idea. Hated every fucking moment of that shit. My heart and soul has ALWAYS been with the fuckin’ METAL.

We did one album of that shit and a tour and I was fucking done with it. If I had to listen to anymore pseudo-intellectual hipster vegan stoner peacenik loving bullshit I swear I was going to dress up like a fucking ninja and kill everyone.

So after some arguing and a few threats we went back to the old format, but by that time we’d lost the base that loved us in the first place and I can’t say I blame them for abandoning us. I mean I would have felt betrayed as well.

Still, I want to go on record, I get what Will was trying to do. He really thought he was looking out for our best interests. No malice towards the guy at all. Which more than can be said for my fellow band members.

It was just before the Y2KKK Tour and Aman just suddenly decided to up and fucking disappear. No explanation, no warning, no nothing. Couldn’t fucking believe it, out of ALL of us, this was the guy who was possibly the most responsible. To this day, all I know is he went back to the old country, became a man of God or some shit like that and got married. Doesn’t even accept his royalty checks and never does interviews.

So without Aman that meant Sentinel had to do all the goddamn singing. Have you ever heard Sentinel’s voice live? It sounds like a fucking squawking penguin getting raped by a polar bear. I mean we could do shit to his voice in the studio, but fuck…the Y2KKK Tour was just…ugh. I was actually HOPING the world would end.

Derp then got all pissy because he felt like he should be paid more. I mean he’s a fucking bass player. Why does he think he’s important again?

So after the tour, we all were little bundles of hate ready to snap at each other at any time for anything. The band was the walking dead at that point and I knew it. Will tried to keep us together, bless his naive heart, but I was done.

ANGZT didn’t last too much longer after I left which wasn’t too surprising. Eventually Sentinel and Derp went their separate ways, which I found surprising since I figured they’d go full furry, but at the time there were a lot of anti-furry laws being passed by that right wing politician…what the fuck was his name…oh yeah Drako. Lot of hate rallies tend to make folks go back in the closet for awhile.

As for me, the following years were cool. Had a lot more creative freedom and released a lot of solo albums. Got banned at a few of the mainstream places, but hey I’ve never been in this for the popularity and money. It’s always been about the music first. Well okay AND the mom fucking, but the underground scene is fine with me. That why I still play at places like the Infinite Stadium and not at the corporate cock sucking mainstream Cogwheel Club. Those who are intelligent know where to find me...in their moms! OH! Hahahahahahaha! That's good stuff.

Still, I suppose you want to know if the rumors are true…well okay I will.

Yes, there’s going to be a reunion tour of sorts. After all these years everyone’s feelings and wounds finally healed and egos have been put away. Well the important members at least. Sentinel will be back since Sentinel’s doing the album artwork again. Derp was still pissing and moaning about money, so he won’t be back. So we got this goth chick Briar. She can play bass better than Derp too, plus she’ll be eye candy for the teenage virgins in the crowd and there’s going to be a lot of those considering this is gonna be in CYStia and all.

And my old pal Bucky is going to be singing. He a little different now with the raspy voice and being covered in bandages, but we all agreed it’ll be 10 times more METAL.

He might even light himself on fire again at the end of the show, he says he’s cool with it seeing as all his nerves are dead and the bandages go up really well.

Watch for the MASSIVE ANGZT Tour 2017.

Just in case there are any uncultured swine among us who don't know jackshit about REAL music.

Honestly, I don't know what the fuck they were thinking. Who in their right mind asks the drummer to sing? That's never worked out for anyone except the Beatles, and fucking everyone in the Beatles sang! Derp and I did try to revive ourselves by joining Expired Haggis after two of the members died in a car crash in the pool of the hotel we were staying at at the time. The show had to go on, of course. It didn't work out, and I went off and started a band named Burst Hemorrhoid, but we had a falling out and we might have had a cocaine knife fight. All I remember was that one of the members was an Alt of TSR and I was really pissed, but the testimony of "I don't remember braining him!" went over pretty well with the jury.

They then hired me to write the theme song for a Nicktoons show and the soundtrack to some Cartoon platformer, like other great drummers before me have. It was kinda weird, since they were asking me to do some sort of alt-pop techno-bullshit that the little cat-fuckers are into these days, but I figured my experience with stoner grunge sounded close enough to a boardroom run by The Man and his ignorant cronies who know nothing of the art of Metal. But I was running low on cash, so I took up the synthesizer anyway and bowed down to The Man and his tempting royalty rates... I desperately need this tour, to be honest. We need to bring Metal back from the dead before Nu Wave takes over!

Actually, there were many bands with a singing drummer. A few examples are the Eagle's Don Henley (who sang songs such as Hotel California), The Band's Levon Helm (being the lead vocal for songs like The Weight), and Genesis' Phil Collins who sang everything for them after their original lead singer quit early in that band's career.

But I loved the story End. It was quite hilarious (especially the bandages/raspy voice = awesome metal joke).

I read it as more of a 'previously covered himself in third degree burns' joke.

As a member of a writing site I don't find reading a 1500 word story to be a daunting task at all, and so I can say thanks for this, it was hilarious and I loved every bit of it.

You mentioned in the Lounge there was an older thread about the idea? I must've missed that one.
 

re: Sent's post, now this is the kind of forum RP I approve of. :D

Yeah it was a thread where Sentinel made some drawings of album covers.

He did three of them now that I remember. One was the original ANGZT group and he drew the four of us on the cover. Then he did a "stoner" version, but I can't remember if the name was changed or not.

He also did another one with Chris also on the cover.

Half of that album was shit. I told Will we didn't need a fucking keyboard player.

He had potential, but he was going through that weird Bowie phase where he thought the Guru-Guru box was an instrument.

... Did we sell those prop legs?

I dunno what happened to those.

Derp probably stole and sold them since he was bitching even back then about not getting paid enough.

Didn't he also make Noir?

I think the album was called "Wet Cheese" or some such.

Yeah. He did.

This goes well with how I've been listening to Rolling Stones documentaries and interviews in the background for the past hour or so. And of course...

I liked it a lot.

Because the first link might not work for lurkers.

And also, because I just found out that the inspiration behind the Chris-Legs was actually a mental malapropism 1000mods cover combined with that scene out of spongebob.

Funny you should necro this, I actually was thinking about possibly writing another little blurb involving ANGZT's reunion tour and how Slashy Slasha the Pansexual Rappa somehow got booked to be the opening act for a week.

Hilarity may ensue.

Please do, End.

ANGZT: Reunion Tour

“Slashy Slasha, the Pansexual Rappa? Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?!” End said.

“Don’t blame me, blame Will, he was the one that booked the opening act! And he misunderstood what I said when I was talking to him.” Sentinel responded.

“So this IS your fucking fault! Stupid fucking Penguinite! Sonofabitch shit!”

“Are quite finished? Look it won’t be that bad. The guy isn’t completely terrible and as I told Will, I was even helping him with some of his rhymes and lyrics.”

“We let that fucker open up for us, by the time we get out there everyone will have left! And I can’t say that I’d blame them, I’m half way out the fucking door myself!”

Sentinel rubbed his head trying to figure out a way to salvage the situation.

“Look, you and me and most of the right thinking world may think he sucks, but he’s actually more popular than you think!  He could bring in a whole new cross over audience. More diversity is always a good thing right?” Sentinel said.

“Diversity is for fags.” End answered.

“Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there End. THAT’S the kind of talk that got Bucky’s band thrown off the tour!”

“Pssh, that was bullshit anyway. Him and Mizal were just drinking a lot, talking shit, some idiot spread a viral video and that hysterical newsgirl that usually does the weather claimed they were a hate group band and it all got blown out of proportion. Honestly I dunno how anyone even understood what Bucky was saying what with the fucked up vocal cords he has on top of the drunkenness.”

“Be that as it may, you can’t say you’re exactly the most tolerant of people.”

“Pfft, I’m a fucking beacon of tolerance. I’m playing in a band with two furries aren’t I? Which brings me to another complaint, I really don’t like how we had to hire Derp again.”

“Yeah…I don’t like it either, but at least Briar agreed to keep singing for us.”

“Well she couldn’t be any worse than the rest of us in that department. Tell her she needs to wear sluttier clothing though. That really brings in the crowd.”

Sentinel shook his head.

“See there you go again!” Sentinel shouted.

“There I go again what?! Oh Briar’s fine with it! In fact, you probably won’t have to tell her to wear slutty clothing, she tends to strip when she’s doing her Countess of Blood routine.” End replied.

“That still doesn’t change the fact that you act like a fucking dinosaur that hasn’t changed since 1989! Look, I mean I don’t give a shit obviously, but your attitude in general drives away the younger fans who don’t always agree with how you word things.”

“Yeah well that’s too fucking bad.”

“It’s going to be too fucking bad for our record sales if we don’t change it up. Like I said, it’s not the 80s anymore. There’s no future in being a dinosaur.”

“No there isn’t, BUT you can leave one hell of a past, and my time isn’t quite over yet. And THAT’S why I’m not fucking playing with Slashy Ass Dasher or whatever the hell his name is. I’ve heard his shit, all he raps about is sucking dick or looking for dick. I mean like geez, it was funny the first couple times, but half of his songs are either about his name and those are just boring or about him being a homo paragon or some shit. I thought the guy was supposed to be fucking girls too, not just fat hairy dudes at the YMCA. Dude obviously has some issues.”

“This coming from a guy who once wrote a song called Incest is the Purest Form of Love.”

“Hey, that did really well in the south and with Mormons. Which actually brings me to the other point, I don’t really give a shit who or what he’s fucking. His music just sucks in general and that’s really the main problem. It’s not a proper fit with our theme.”

“Oh come on, you know he’s got a few raps about death and killing too and that’s what I’ve been mainly helping him with. He’s already promised that for this weekend that he’s opening up for us, it’s gonna be less about dick sucking and ALL about raping and murdering hookers and not necessarily in that order.”

“Well…”

“Come on it won’t be that bad.”

“(Sigh) Well since it’s a done deal anyway. Fine.”

“Great. Y’know he actually really looks up to you and can’t wait to meet you in person.”

“I guess that’s cool, maybe he’s okay…um wait. He’s not gonna try to suck my dick is he?”

“No, but his mom might.”

“Well shit, why the fuck didn’t you just say that in the first place? Where’s she at?”

And with those last words our intrepid music heroes once again overcame a potential crisis and continued the MASSIVE ANGZT tour.

HAHAHA, thank you, that was a glorious start to the morning. Hadn't noticed the earlier posts, somehow I'd missed ANGZT was making a return.

This is gold. Thanks for the laugh, End.

I really wish we could've kept Bucky around. As soon as he got singing all the way down, we could've covered Mongolian folk songs and he could've been the guy doing the Popeye-Voice. What's more metal and diverse than Mongolian Folk Metal!?...

I'm gonna end up finding out that's actually a thing, aren't I? Please let that be a thing...

There is nomadic folk metal xD
Don't know about Mongolian

EDIT:

Wait. Fuck. Tengger. They have Mongolian folk metal.

What is this soundwave cocaine I am experiencing!?

Did you look up Tengger Calvary? XD

Yes. And now 90% of the Heidevolk and Turisas in my playlist have suddenly dissappeared and been replaced with screaming horse-mounted madness.

I feel at peace.

Made me smile.

ANGZT: The Bantastic Burning Tour

As the stadium burned behind them, our two heroes of ANGZT were having a minor disagreement with how tonight’s gig went.

“Alright! Alright! It was a fucking accident!” End said.
“Accident?! You set me on fucking fire you asshole! My name isn’t Bucky!” Sentinel said
“Look I said I apologize. What more do you want?”
“I really don’t fucking know at this point. I’m not even mad about the burns, I’m more upset about my costume! It’s ruined! Do you realize how much money I spent getting it to look just right?I mean I looked exactly like Genghis fucking Khan!”
“No you didn’t, you’re whiter than snow.”
“That’s not the point! I’m saying I looked like a total badass in that costume and now it’s gone!”
“So just wear another one, it’s not like you don’t have a whole bunch.”
“You don’t get it man! You gotta change it up every now and then and that particular costume always got the crowd hyped up! People like variety.”
“Bah, the people are mindless idiots. I’ve never had to change costumes to get the crowd’s attention.”
“Motherfucker, YOU don’t even change your goddamn clothes like ever! When was the last time you were in anything except that ratty ass robe?”
“I don’t know. Do I need to? It seems to work.”
“Yes, yes, I know you’re proud to be an 80s death metal relic with all the edgy grim reaper motif ooooooohhhh that’s original.”
“Wow, you’re really salty about this. Don’t know why. Ford from the Hitchhikers lost half of his wardrobe when that fire got out of hand, and he didn’t bitch about it the way you are.”
“That’s because he’s got a billion shitty costumes most of which are just trash bags he glues various paper shapes to! Of course he doesn’t give a shit about most of them!”

While Sentinel was trying to catch his breath mid-rant, a young assistant came up to End. Her face was partially dirty with ash and she was coughing a lot.

“Mr. Master? I managed to save your big black book of moms.” she said followed by coughing.
“Oh thanks, Apples. Geez, you look bad. You alright?” End replied.
“Apologies for my appearance, but the smoke and fumes almost overwhelmed me and I fell through some floorboards. I nearly burned to death, but I knew you really needed this book so I wanted to make sure I got it and returned it to you because that’s what a good assistant does! Are you pleased?”
“Yeah, it’s cool.”
“Oh thank you Master! Is there anything else you need?”
“No, not at this time. You did good, off you go.”

Filled with a sense of accomplishment and approval, Apples skipped off with glee to the nearest ambulance before she collapsed into a coughing fit in the back of the vehicle.

Sentinel watched End as he skimmed through his book.

“Y’know End, that’s another thing I want to talk to you about.” Sentinel said.
“What now?” End said.
“Mizal and Friends have been making A LOT of jokes about you and your new assistant.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard the jokes.”
“Well…aren’t you a little worried about your reputation?”
“Not particularly. I need an assistant and she needs money for college. We’re helping each other in a mutually beneficial way, what’s the big deal?”
“…You know what that sounds like right?” Sentinel exclaimed.
“Hey if people want to have dirty minds about something that’s totally innocent, I really can’t worry about that. Besides Mizal and Friends should worry about their own fucking reputation with the way they’ve been going lately. I mean I like them and all, but the goddamn KKK came out against them recently. It’s pretty damn bad when you got Nazis condemning your behavior.”
“Heh, yeah they are a bunch of dicks.”

“Plus look, you KNOW me, Sent. I’m ALL about the moms. Ain’t nobody squirming on this lap unless she’s at least 30 and got some mom mileage on her, you know what I mean? Shit, I ain’t going out like the Azure One.” End reinforced.
“Yeah I know. I’m just sayin’, when people don’t watch themselves, they’re definitely going out like the Azure One…what was that all about anyway?” Sentinel replied.
“Inside thing, don’t worry about it. Anyway, once again I apologize for fucking up your costume, I’ll pay for a new one to get made. Not like I’m spending it on clothes anyway.”
“Okay. Thanks.”

Derp came up to Sentinel and End who both groaned at the thought of having to speak with him.

“Hey guys what’s going on over here?” Derp asked.
“Nothing. Look, if you want more money because you lost your stuffed wolf in the fire, forget it. Read your contract.” End said.
“No, it’s not that. I just wondered if you guys heard that one person actually died in the fire. Just pulled out his burnt corpse.”
“Shit, who was it?” Sentinel asked.
“Um, one of the guys from the one of the opening acts. Rimjob and Rimmers. It was the lead singer.”
“Oh. He sucked anyway.” Sentinel said.

“Sure hope his mom does too, because it looks like I got another one I have to console in her time mourning. See you guys later.” End said took his leave.

And with those final words our intrepid music heroes once again weathered a shitstorm and continued their journeys.

Another hilarious one! :D

Okay, I immensely enjoyed this one. ^3^

In out hearts, our minds, our history books, and our family trees, Genghis Khan will forever be remembered! The metal lives on, though, as it always will.

Yeah, I was sad that 'ol Ghengis had to go too. ;_;

-Rest In Alt Paradise-

Good work once again, End.

I stopped by at the right time.

ANGZT: The Teacher Terror Tour

Another show, another lapse in judgement…

“End, don’t even start with me.” Sentinel said rubbing his temples with great concern while hanging his head low.
“I didn’t say shit, but I am finding this situation quite amusing.” End said.
“I’ll bet you are, you smug hooded bastard.”
“I’m just baffled. I mean, what the hell were you thinking? YOU were the one who talked me into doing this family show and bitched at me non-stop about not making references to torture porn and what did you do? You went on a swear laden rant on a bunch of school kids sitting in the front row.”
“I know.”
“You called them a bunch of retards that if you took all their IQs together they might have enough intelligence to tie their shoelaces together if they didn’t drool all over themselves first.”
“I know.”
“You said their parents must all be from the same inbred stock to produce such pitiful examples of humanity and that the lot of them should have been put into bags at birth and then beaten with a baseball bat before getting thrown in the river.”
“I know.”
“Then when their teacher stepped up to confront you, you told her to suck your furry penguinite cock.”
“I know.”
“Then you bitch slapped her.”
“I KNOW! Shit, End I don’t need a goddamn play by play of tonight’s events! Damn…fucked up…”
“Actually, I was thinking you should act like this more often at our shows. I mean those kids were heckling you specifically. Calling you a furfag and all that. I mean had that been me, I probably would have done the same thing.”
“Yeah, but this is bad…I mean shit…god why did I left those fucking little shits get to me?! It wasn’t just THOSE kids I went off on, the whole show was filled with children and families! I’ve ruined our reputation.”
“Pretty sure that’s not the case.”
“Okay then I’ve ruined MY reputation. Some of us actually try to go through life not taking pride in being a dick.”

As Sentinel continued to wallow in his own self loathing, End’s assistant Thara came in.

“Mr. Master? Um, I have some papers for you to sign.” Thara said.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah okay…wait you went over these right?” End asked.
“Of course! I always do, and everything is in order.”
“Thanks.”
“Um, Mr. Master?”
“Yes?”
“I didn’t want to bother you with this, but…”
“Just tell me, it’ll be fine.”
“Well, I know you spoke to them before, but Mizal and Friends have been harassing me again. I try to just ignore them like you told me, and it usually works, but they’ve really been ganging up and trying intimidate me lately. Bucky nearly vomited on me on purpose, Mizal threw a bottle at me in the hallway and called me a bitch, and Malk and Steve made unkind gestures and…exposed themselves. I really don’t understand why they don’t like me, I’ve done nothing to them. Maybe I shouldn’t be here…”
“No, don’t say that! You’re a valuable member of this tour and I need you around! I mean you do all the boring shit that I don’t want to be bothered to do!”
“You mean it?”
“Of course! Plus it really pisses them all off and that makes me laugh. Anyway, I’ll talk to them again, and it’ll be fine trust me.”
“Okay, I always like how you make everything better again.”
“Well I try. Now run along, and don’t worry about it anymore.”

As Thara skipped happily away, Sentinel took a break from his self loathing.

“Okay End, WHAT is going on with you and that girl?” Sentinel asked accusingly.
“What? I told you for the umpteenth time, nothing! Sheesh.” End replied.
“I’ve known you for years and you are NEVER that nice to ANYONE. Let alone for this long. Something’s up and I’m starting to wonder about all those rumors.”
“Well you and everyone else has dirty minds then. Weren’t you just busy worrying about your reputation based on you having a shit fit in front of hordes of children?”
“Yeah, and this isn’t going to help. So out with it, so I can at least prepare myself for the inevitable media scandal.”
“(Sigh) Fine, if it’ll ease your paranoid delusions. She’s my daughter.”

Sentinel’s previous concern about his reputation was now pushed back a bit.

“WHAT?! Seriously?” Sentinel exclaimed.
“Shit, I dunno. It’s possible. Anyway, you don’t need to worry about it, and you also don’t need to worry about this melt down you had in front of a bunch of kids either. I already talked to everyone important that needed to be talked to and you’re in the clear.” End explained.
“Wait, what? When did this happen?”
“I did it when Steve was filling in for me during the second act. I spoke to the stadium owner, I spoke to the sponsors, the families, and most importantly I spoke to the teacher.”
“You…well what did you tell them all?”
“Oh I just said you were having a diabetic break down. Low blood sugar and all. Considering how it’s an epidemic in this country, it seemed to go over well with everyone and they sympathized, though the teacher was a little harder to convince.”
“I’m guessing she’s suing me.”
“Nah, I talked her out of it because fortunately she wasn’t just a teacher, but also a mother…”
“Oh no…”
“Yep! You owe me big time pal! Hah!”

End proceeded to brag in graphic detail about just how much he saved Sentinel from a lawsuit, Sentinel just continued to shake his head realizing he truly would never hear the end of this.

The rumors are true. All of them, every single one.

...Joking aside, today has been quite eventful for stories.

I liked this one, so awesome job as always. I think it's time for us to discuss my *ahem* promotion. Like an occasional pat on the head for a job well done. I am not greedy :)

Quite honestly, this is much better than having a featured comment!

Ah, but I in fact did not vomit!

Mother of god, I laughed so hard at these, but this one was the funniest one of them all!

Well this was fun to wake up to.:D

End, thanks for helping make CYS great again!

Aha! I knew she was your daughter, EM!
Anyway, this's great.Thanks for writing this. :)

ANGZT: The New Year's Evil Tour (Part 1)

With tensions at an all time high, it’s time for an old fashion band meeting involving the all the aggrieved parties on the tour.

Naturally our two heroes from ANGZT are in the middle of it as usual.

“End, before the colossal shitstorm gets started, I have to say I’m a little concerned about our new singer.” Sentinel said.
“What, Seto? Why? He’s moody, he sulks in dark corners and goes on about how life is so bleak. Then he unleashes all that negativity into the songs for a fantastic effect on the audience. The guy’s a perfect fit for the band.” End remarked.
“Yeah, I’m not saying he isn’t a good singer, but…I dunno I feel like we’re not going to have him for very long.”
“Eh? He say something about leaving the band?”
“No, but he’s depressed like ALL fucking the time. I’m seriously wondering if we’re going to find him in his room one day and find we’re in need of a new singer.”
“Oh that. Meh, that’s just his shtick. He’s a lot happier than he lets on.”

“End, you can’t just make that assumption, a man’s life might be a stake!”

“No, seriously he is. I’ve spoken to him several times outside of shows and away from people and he’s fine. He just rarely breaks character. The ONLY reason why he even speaks to me like a normal person is because one day when I wanted to go over the new song list, I walked in on him fucking laughing at some stupid cheesy sitcom. Like really rolling on the floor laughing. If anything that was weirder than all his talk about elaborate suicide rituals.”
“Oh. Really?”
“Really. But seriously, don’t tell him I told you. He’s really concerned about his image.”
“Well, okay. One less thing to worry about at least. Now I guess we can get the rest of this shit sorted out.”

Sentinel opened the door to the room where the members of WBP and Mizal & Friends were already at each other’s throats.

“Well stop getting fucking high all the goddamn time and using my dressing room as a place to fuck your diseased whores, and I wouldn’t be getting pissed! Last thing I need is to step on a fucking needle and get AIDS.” Malk said
“Yeah, I guess it would suck getting AIDS without even having sex yet. Hahahahaha! And you wouldn’t step on any needles anyway, I don’t shoot up dickhead.” Playa remarked.
“Great, so I’ll just get it from all the bodily fluids all over the fucking place then.”
“God, you’re a fucking buzzkiller, how the hell are you even in this industry? You need to chill and just relax. I mean if you really need some pussy, you can hang out with us instead of these intolerant assholes. The White Boy Posse is all about acceptance man and it’s not too late for you.”

“White Boy Posse, more like Wigger Bitch Pussies! Steve, doesn’t even know why you’re on our fucking tour. Your fucking music sucks more dick than Steve does and Steve sucks quite a bit of it.” Steve shouted with a bit boasting thrown in.
“Oh fuck off Steve, you just don’t get our fucking music.” Playa responded.
“What’s to get? You fucking suck. Period. End of story! If you worked on your rhymes and beats as much as you worked on that glass dick you like sucking on, you might be getting somewhere.”
“Fuck you, you drunk Irish asshole.” Slasher responded.

“Slasher, you’re just jealous that Steve gets more glitter boy twinks in his bed than you do. Face it, Steve is a real musician, and a real man, and you’re just a pair of wannabe faggots that only make so called music that other faggots like.” Steve said.
“You wanna step away from the rest of your asshole friends and fucking say that to me alone? Because you say one more negative thing about our music again and me and you are gonna go round and round!” Playa threatened.
“Oh Steve will go round and round with you. Steve will go round and round with you like a record baby and after Steve is done kicking your ass, Steve will take your life partner over there and fuck his ass and show him what it’s like to get fucked by a real man.” Steve said and started making thrusting gestures with his crotch.

While Mizal & friends laughed at their “colorful” band member’s antics as Playa and Slasher got madder, End and Sentinel just stood silently taking it all in.

“What the fuck, did I accidentally step into a fucking gay bath house or prison shower? What the hell is all this talk about sucking dick and fucking other dudes? I hate this goddamn new century.” End said.

“Um, yeah. Let’s settle down with the rape threats and try to get this sorted out.” Sentinel added.
“There’s nothing to fucking work out! Look, I came on this tour to help out a friend, make some cash, do massive amounts of drugs and fuck a few trailer trash groupie hoes on the side. I didn’t come on this tour to be routinely insulted by these assholes! Seriously, every single one of them are like that ALL THE FUCKING TIME! And the worst of the bunch is Steve. He just shits on everything and everyone!” Playa shouted pointing at Steve.
“Steve only shits on faggots.”

“Alright that’s enough Steve! Shit, do you ever fucking stop being a raging shitlord? I mean fuck, you have managed to alienate just about every other musician on this tour save for your own band members! Never in my life have I come across someone so goddamn hostile and just a complete fucking dick for the shits and giggles of it. And that’s saying something considering I’ve been playing with End for years!” Sent said.
“Oh sure, the penguinite is a beacon of fucking calm. Hey I think there are some more kids outside that you can scream obscenities to. Then End can go fuck their moms so you don’t get sued again.” Steve chuckled.
“Hey that’s a great idea. You should go do that Sent.” End added.
“Goddamnit End, you’re not helping.”

“I’m not really helping because I sort of agree with Steve. I was never that keen on having rappers on the tour anyway. And before anyone jumps on my shit, I’m not gonna say they suck, I’m just saying they don’t really fit in with the rest of the musicians here.”
“But I’m rapping about killing hookers and raping them!” Slasher exclaimed.
“Yeah, I know, but for whatever reason it just isn’t popping with the crowd. Maybe it’s because they don’t get the impression you’d actually do something like that. I mean if I said that shit, yeah they’d believe. Or like when Seto sings about how he wishes he could cut his throat and flood the shitty world in his polluted blood, people really feel like they’re drowning in his agony. That’s fucking talent.”
“Oh and you’re telling me, shit like Ford’s Hitchhikers do belong here?” Slasher said.
“Well Ford is at least versatile enough to play similar music even if is half assed computerized synth shit most of the time. But you guys…I dunno. Like I said, it just doesn’t really connect with the audiences that come to these shows. Sorry, but that’s just how it is.”
“Hah! End agrees with Steve, Steve wins again!” Steve shouted in triumph.

“Wait a fucking minute, this ain’t over yet! Will was the one that put us on this tour!” Playa shouted.
“Well technically only Slasher was booked initially and even that was actually an accident, because Will misunderstood Sentinel in a phone conversation. Honestly I’m not even sure how you got on this tour in the first place. In fact weren’t you having an ongoing beef with Slasher?”
“Oh, that was mainly just to drive up record sales. I mean it started out as a beef, but we squashed it a long time ago. In fact that’s how I got on this tour, Slasher invited me to show solidarity between rappers and shit. Don’t need another east coast/west coast thing y’know?”
“Actually I was thinking the rap genre could use another east coast/west coast thing because at least rap music didn’t suck back then.”

Before Playa and Slasher could respond, Mizal who had been fairly bored at this point finally spoke up.

“Hey, speaking of Will, the next time you see him, tell him he needs to stop being so permissive on who he lets on the fucking tour as well as making sure our names are more prominently displayed in the ads! I mean shit, it’s bad enough we gotta tour with all these pathetic fucks that are barely musicians to begin with.”
“Christ, you’re a fucking bitch. I don’t understand why the hell you guys are allowed to act the way you do.” Slasher remarked.
“And I don’t understand why you’re still on this tour! Can’t we get these no talent fucks off of it?”
“Us?! As I remember just before I got invited, you and Bucky got thrown off of it!”
“Yeah and it was soon realized that was a big fucking mistake and was corrected.”
“Look, obviously none of this is getting us anywhere. I suggest you guys just stay out of each others way for the rest of the…”

Sentinel was suddenly interrupted by Steve.

“Fuck that shit, Steve is sick of all you American fuckers talking! Steve hates this entire fucking capitalist fascist shithole and the stupid inferior people inside it! Steve will be damned if Steve is going to be forced to be around anymore of them than Steve has to!” Steve exclaimed as froth came from his mouth.
“Okay, so what does Steve suggest?” Sentinel asked.
“Steve suggests that the ignorant white trash inbred was right about one thing. Steve and him should go settle this outside. He can also bring his partner along. Steve will take both of them on because Steve is just that fucking awesome! And when Steve wins, these wiggers have to leave the tour!”
“Fine by me. What happens when I win though?” Playa remarked.
“You win? (snort) Impossible! However, in the unlikely event that you do, then you get the gift of Steve sucking your dick! Steve guarantees that it would be the best thing to ever happen to you, but it won’t because YOU will lose! Steve will win and then Steve will take Steve’s prize of bending Slasher over and fucking him like a bitch with no vaseline! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!” Steve said while jumping on the table this time so everyone could better see his groin thrusting motions.

“Goddamnit Steve, you’re a fucking degenerate, and I say that as a furry. But if you two smashing each other in the face until one of you is unconscious is going to settle this once and for all then fine. Go for it. If you win, WBP leaves the tour. If Playa wins, you guys have to stop acting like assholes to not just them, but to EVERYONE on the tour. Is this acceptable?” Sentinel said.
“Steve accepts because Steve will not lose!” Steve answered.
“Done.” Playa added.
“Hey wait a minute, I didn’t agree to this! Why the hell should the rest of us be punished if Steve gets his prancing ass kicked?” Mizal complained.

“Relax Mizal, baby, Steve’s got this, but just to be on the safe side, Steve, take Malk with you.” Bucky said.
“What?! I can’t fight for shit! Last thing I want to do is roll around on the floor with some crackhead that gives me AIDS when he bites me. I mean maybe that doesn’t matter to Steve since he’s probably got every disease under the sun already, but I’d rather avoid that fate.” Malk said.
“Stop being a bitch and just do it!” Bucky ordered.
“Don’t worry Malk, Steve will do all the heavy lifting as usual. Now come on my cowardly Canadian cappy, let’s go show these American bitches they cannot fuck with the awesomeness that is Steve.”

At this point Slasher, Playa, Steve and (reluctantly) Malk headed for the door and to the outside. Bucky and Mizal soon followed.

“Hang on! Is everyone leaving?! We still got more shit to address! You guys aren’t even fighting!”
“So? It’s a fight dude and it directly involves the band! I’m not going to miss this!” Bucky responded.
“Yeah, and if looks like those other two assholes are winning, you can bet I’m going to do something to even up the odds.” Mizal added.
“Um…okay, yeah I guess you do have a vested interest. Fine, me and End can talk about the next thing on the agenda until you get back.”

“You can talk to yourself, I’m not sticking around here.” End said.
“What? You gonna watch the fight too?”
“Nah, all it’s going to be is a bunch of sissy slapping and then rolling on the ground with each other in a homoerotic way until Steve finally manages to subdue and buttfucks one of them or all of them, including Malk. Anyway, it’s going to be pretty damn gay and I’d prefer to go do something heterosexual like fuck someone’s mom. Just let Thara know when they’re finished fighting, she can come get me for the rest of your little meeting. See ya.”
“But End, that’s who I wanted to talk to you about because that’s next on the agen…oh fuck it. Might as well enjoy the peace while I can.”

And with those final words of the meeting, Sentinel wandered back to his room to enjoy his fancy collection of sporks from around the world, as they always seem to calm him. Definitely something he needed to do in preparation for the second half of the meeting.

Old-fashioned sitcoms? Well, I do like V...does that count? :D

I love how Steve kept referring to himself as Steve.

Beautiful as always. I like how Steve never used the pronoun 'I'.

When did Seto become edgy? Anyhow, I'm glad this made clear that I'm amazing because I clearly am. It was pretty funny, so good read. Could've used more Steve though, and less everyone else.

I missed that memo as well, but I guess I will have to go work on that xD
Hmm...anyone know a good sacrificial/suicidal rite I can talk about all the time? I think that should be the first thing I work on for the "edgy" and "emo" feel.

Wanted to include Seto somehow and him being helpful (like he is on the forums) doesn't make for the funny like suicidally edgy.

Plus I worked around it, by making him secretly cheerful, but just doing the edgy thing for show.

I do believe this captured the vibe of CYS quite proficiently. I'm looking forward to part 2.

Yes, it did. 

And yes, so am I :)

I am very interested in this edgy version of myself that is a good singer.

Usually everyone's quirks get turned into some kind of goofy parody, but I see you went for a very restrained and true to life portrayal of Steve. Interesting decision.

You used this joke with Tim in Council of Nine. You fail at humor, and Mayana takes your title as the witty girl on the site.

The witty girl on the site. Me? Tell me one witty thing I said. At best I am the chicken of the site, not wanting to start a fight with anyone. Oh wait ...
I fail at humor, and Steve takes my title as the witty girl on the site.

Oh, I get it. I'm a girl just because of my sexuality. Real mature, Mayana. It's homophobic people like you that's why the LGBT community goes through so much shit.

Sexuality? I have no idea what yours might be, and would never want to know. I just thought it would be fitting to give my title to someone who is better at being witty, and that happened to be you. I could have put a different gender, but you created the title, so it is up to you to change it, not me.
And if you expect me to be mature, I'm sorry, but for children like me it's quite impossible to be. I haven't even figured this strange thing called English out yet, as you no doubt see by my typos. I'm just a 6 year old behind a computer.

Sure, it was just a coincidence, rather than a pathetic insult on sexualities just for being difference to yours. Pitiful.

Lol. C'mon Steve, you're scaring her.

Also, quit victimizing yourself.

Of corse it was a coincidence! Look! Here's a poem!

"Steve, I'm sorry for insulting you so badly,"
Mayana said, her head dropped in shame,
then she looked up and finished her sentence sadly:
"For your pain, only I am to blame."

"Sir Steve, I do hope you can somehow forgive me,"
she continued and started to cry,
then she wiped her eyes and tried with just one more plea:
"For you, to be better I shall try!"

I know, I was just fucking around with you. Thanks for the poem, though. I mean, poetry is always awful, but it's the thought that counts.

Really? You get insulted at me calling you a girl, but not when I write you a poem, it being something you hate? Pity.

That's just silly. I'd get it, somewhat, if Mayana was an actually condescending person, but I've never seen anything of the like from her. That'd be like me jokingly calling an African American friend "Shithead" and then him getting legitimately offended because his skin is brown and therefore it could possibly be racist. Like, why the fuck would you think that? We've been heterosexual male lovers for years, we were being vitriolic with our friends at the moment, and I called you the most basic, boundary-transcending, generic-ass "Insult" in the English language, the 13+ equivalent of 'Dork'. That's silly, there's no reason for him to assume I was being racist.

Damien I miss you...

As said already, I was fucking about, not actually calling her out.

I thought it was kind of obvious.

The joke was that I was being weirdly specific, implying that I was having a weird-sad flashback about losing friends over that exact confusion.

No, I got that bit, I just thought the joke was on top of you not knowing I was joking.

Getting a joke-ception vibe here ;-;

And this, everyone, is what happens if everyone is joking, but someone doesn't know that everyone is joking.

You just want your comment trophy back ^_^

No, that's what my cancer thread is for. This is the regular autistic joking you all have come to expect from me in the past years. Business as usual.

Sent, you're scaring me.

I am the same, Mayana. Though, technically...I am a turkey, not a chicken xD

Saying that chickens and turkies are the same is even worse from saying that apples taste like pairs. I might be a chicken, but I'm proud to not be a turkey, thanks very much.

I just meant it as "I don't want to start a fight with anyone either", not a chicken is like a turkey.

Of corse, I know, no worries. And I am sorry for insulting turkies like that as well, even if they are stupid, us birds should still stick one with another.

She's right on both counts, though.

So Thara's next on the agenda? The plot thickens and I now cannot wait for part 2, because these are quite awesome to read.

Hell, there might be a part 3 now, considering all the fighting going on in this very thread.

Part 3? Could I be in it? I could be that strange girl that keeps sending her poems to the group, wanting them to sing one at a show. But all her poems are written in braill so noone can read them. Or I could just be a blind idiot that crashes into walls a lot. Boath is fun. :)

ANGZT: The New Years Evil Tour (Part 2)

Sentinel took one more admiring look at his spork from Tawanaland and put it away just as everyone started to come back from the break. He knew that this was possibly going to be even more of a shitstorm than the first half.

Things already looked grim when he saw Mizal & Friends coming back looking like they ALL had been in a fight (Except for Malk who looked relatively unscathed) Bucky and Malk were partially carrying Steve who was limping along and looking like he needed as many bandages on his face as Bucky normally wore on his.

Mizal walked behind them holding some paper toweling on her forehead.

“Wha..what the fuck happened to you guys? Wait, did Slasher and Playa actually kick your asses?!” Sentinel asked.
“No of course not! Steve left those two fucks laying in the gutter bleeding from every orifice. Needless to say, WBP is no longer on our tour.” Mizal said.
“Okay, so did they put up that much of a fight? Because Steve looks pretty fucked up. And why are you bleeding and hurt, you said Steve took care of them himself.”
“No, there was some crazy blind bitch in the on looking crowd that did all this.” Malk said.
“What?!”

Bucky and Malk sat Steve down on a nearby couch (Who was grumbling and mumbling the entire time) Mizal sat down on another chair checking to see if her forehead stopped bleeding.

“So the fight was going well. Steve had already kicked Slasher’s ass and was working on finishing up Playa. A large crowd by this time had gathered as you might expect. It was fine until some blind girl that was watching, hit me in the fucking leg with her cane. I told her to fucking watch it and she apologized, saying it was an accident.” Mizal remarked.
“Wait a minute. If she was blind, how the hell was she watching the fight?” Sentinel asked.
“How should I fucking know, all I do know is she suddenly clobbered me in the fucking head with her cane for no reason! I fell to the ground and while Bucky was helping me up, Steve noticed what happened and launched himself at the woman screaming something about hating blind Americans. She must have had superhero senses or something, because she kept dodging every punch he tried to land while at the same time smacking him about with her cane.”
“Also Playa hadn’t been knocked out yet, so while Steve was preoccupied, Playa got back up and took advantage, finally getting in some good hits. However, I put a stop to that, by clocking Playa in the eye and putting his ass out for good.” Bucky added.
“Where was Malk?”
“The little bitch was hiding in the crowd.” Mizal sneered.
“Hey, say what you want, but I’m not all beat up like the rest of you. Besides, Steve said he had everything, so I figured I’d stay out of the way.” Malk said.
“Sounds to me like Steve got his ass kicked by a blind girl.” Sentinel said.

“Fuck you, you fucking American furry faggot! Steve did not get beaten!” Steve shouted from the couch.
“Well you don’t look like you won.” Sentinel said.
“Oh, he did mainly because he’s a mean asshole that doesn’t know when to quit. Eventually, the blind bitch ran out of steam and Steve laid her ass out.”
“Steve has excellent stamina! Hahaha! Ah, shit…” Steve said whining in pain from his injuries.
“Yeah, so after that happened, I curb stomped her for good measure and we slowly made our way back up here. So where’s End so we can finish this fucking meeting? He’s not still fucking some desperate middle age woman is he?” Mizal asked.
“No, he should be on his way.” Sentinel answered.
“Good, because I want this over with and my mood is bad enough already.”
“Uh yeah…what’s next on the agenda probably isn’t going to improve your mood.”
“And why is that exactly?”
“It’s about End’s daughter.”
“His daughter? Wasn’t aware he had one.”
“Oh you’ve met her, several times in fact. You don’t like her, none of you do.”

Mizal processed this bit of info and then a few seconds later…

“HER? That fucking little bitch is his daughter?!” Mizal exclaimed.
“I dunno, it’s possible. Anyway, she might as well be and since that’s the case…”
“Are you shittin’ me Sent? I thought she was some barely legal piece of ass he was dragging around with him.” Bucky said interrupting Sentinel.
“Knowing End, it’s probably both. He does make a lot of references to incest in his songs. I’m sure they have a lot of quality father daughter time together.” Malk added.
“Oh yes daddy! Master MY End!” Steve mockingly said in a high-pitched girly voice causing lots of laughter by everyone except Sentinel.

“WHOA! Whoa! Hold the fuck on there now! End’s a lot a things but come on, I’ve played with the man for years and you can’t slander his reputation like that! Besides, Thara’s his daughter, not his sister. Now look I’m not exactly fond of her either since she reminds me of a dimestore version of Mizal…”
“Fuck off Penguinite.” Mizal snapped while giving him the finger.
“…but she’s obviously going to be around for awhile so we probably need to find a way to get along with her.” Sentinel continued.
“What the fuck for? She’s not in my band and she’s a passive aggressive bitch whenever she speaks to us. For the longest time I was wondering why she was even around since I have no idea how she even helps around here. I see nepotism is alive and well though.” Mizal said.
“Yeah, fuck that noise. I tried to be cool with her once and she acted like a complete bitch.” Bucky remarked.
“Steve agrees. Thara is a bitch, End is whipped and Steve is awesome as usual.” Steve added.
“Great. I can see when End gets here, this is going to go well.” Sentinel said.

Malk suddenly stood up.

“I just wanna say, this goes beyond Thara being a bitch. She struts around here all self important, dressed in tight ass shirts and skirts and her hair in pigtails looking like loli bait. Then when she starts shit that she can’t finish, she calls her daddy to come rescue her. It’s bullshit! If End wasn’t around, I’d teach her a fucking lesson. She thinks she can get away with her shit, well maybe if I raped her, she’d listen to me! I’d be like you wanna look like a little whore, well I’ll treat you like one and pop your cherry, that would be so fucking hot…”

Granted this was a hot topic, but Malk’s sudden rapey outburst caused some eyebrows to raise.

“Um…better not let End hear you talk like that Malk.” Sentinel said.
“Shit, you better not let ANYONE hear you talk like that lest it be used against you in court.” Mizal added.

Malk sat down and put his head in his hands.

“I’m so lonely.” Malk sobbed.

“Okay then…so let’s get back on track.” Sentinel said just as the door opened again.

“And I have arrived! Sup cucks and cunts? I just brought a delivery of enema bags and carpet cleaner for you degenerates!” End said in a jovial manner.
“End, good you’re here. Is Thara with you?” Sentinel asked.
“She’s in the hallway, why?”
“Well go get her, because this concerns her directly.”
“Oh? All right, but I’m not getting a good vibe from this. Thara! Get in here, we’re having a meeting and apparently you’re of vital importance to it.”
“Hah. Vital importance. Bet that doesn’t happen often.” Mizal snorted.

Soon Thara came to the door and followed End in. She saw who was inside and her eyes widened a bit, but she did her best to not be shaken by the hostile looks. End sat down and then Thara sat next to him not wishing to be near those who obviously didn’t like her.

Sentinel watched both sides eyeing the other, the second half hadn’t even begun yet and already the tension and loathing was thick enough to cut with a knife.

Still, MAYBE there was a way to work this out without things getting worse.

Was only planning 2 parts, but the additional lulz with Mayana provided some more material.

End, you're writing a novel here, this is great. But Malk's outburst is silly. We've all heard his fantasies. Since when is he the one doing the raping?

Meh, I’ve heard Malk talk like that at times.

Plus I wanted to give Malk the spotlight. I can’t let Steve have all the degenerate fun.

Savage.

So just to get this straight for future reference: Doing your kids is off-limits around here, but siblings are free game?

Doing underaged kids is off-limits.

I think.

Then, End's fine. CrabApples isn't underage.

I think.

No, she actually isn't? I think. And don't call her CrabApples >~< 

She isn't crabby.

There's debate in certain circles on how old she actually is. Ranging from 13 to 40. (And actually being a guy in some cases) 

In any case, this version of her is funnier for story purposes.

I distinctly remember saying that I wasn't older than twenty in a derail once. So it's around there :)

Yeah, I remember that xD

Wasn't quite sure though.

Yeah, but WIBN also claims to be in college and you don't even want to know the grand ass shit Riptizoid is claiming. You could easily be an ashamed 40yr old spinster.

Eh. Everyone's ages are called in question around here. Even mine, though...I do tend to come off as a bit childish at times :P

...Unless you blatantly state it.

Well, I have blatantly stated I was 19. Several times xD

WIBN has said how old he is as well. And Endeavour >~>

wibn is a girl

Oops. Sorry >~<

As she's always so happy to say, she's never confirmed this.

I've never confirmed this.

Zag you retard, the post he's responding to talks about people who have made claims that are in question, so stating it does nothing you absolute shit-headed fuck.

Thanks Steve. 

:D

That's the kind of tolerance being called something along the lines of "You pus-encrusted urethral burdock" for half a derailment will give you. See what my plan was now, Zag? It was all part of your training!

You're right! Well, that and I tend not to take insults seriously already. But thanks anyways, Teacher Sent! You've furthered my resistance!

I suppose I just recalled it because I vaguely remembered what the thread was about.

When did that become off-limits? Fuck not only that, but fuck the underaged kids, literally.

This is the most realistic portrayal of both Steve and Malk that I've ever seen. I love this, EM. :)

Cool, I won. Kickass. These stories have an unnerving accuracy.

Anyway, I liked this part quite a bit. It just feels like you used even more real life inspiration than usual for some reason. I can't wait for the next part! It should be rather entertaining to read.

Disturbingly accurate.

Good, good. Kill the soft American. Maybe a few more while you're at it? Couldn't hurt.

Steve hates blind Americans, then? Glad I'm not one. I wish I could meet that blind American though, she could teach me a thing or two. :)

He hates Americans so much, he just automatically assumed you were one.(He does it with Malk too on a regular basis) Lol.

In any case, T-Count (and his band HIV For Vendetta) will probably be mentioned in the next part.

That is a glorious name. Is TemporarySlave *cough* Zag *cough* going to be in the group?

I guess Zag could be his band, but it’s not really going to directly feature any of them since it’ll mostly be an argument between the people already in the meeting and T-Count’s band gets mentioned during the argument since its relevant for the story purposes.
 

:D

If you start giving TCount parts in these, Zag would be the slavishly devoted fanboy.

I was thinking more of a subserviant musician. Like a friendlier version of Thara, but I unquestionably serve TCount.

But you're a slave, Zag. XD

Only because I choose to be.

I'm trying to come up with a one-line joke that combines "I can quit whenever I want!" and "I wish I knew how to quit you!" in a way that fits the situation.

Just pretend I'm making a slavery-addiction joke involving gay cowboys.

Don't forget to include my unsurmountable ego. About 3 paragraphs of me singing my own praises should do it.

ANGZT: The New Years Evil Tour (Part 3)

It got worse…

“Look, I don’t give a shit if she’s his daughter, or his lover or his daughter and his lover, there is nothing that is going to convince me that she doesn’t suck, is a fake ass bitch and shouldn’t even be here with the important people. I see how she acts and she’s not fooling anyone. I still remember what she did to Axiom.” Mizal exclaimed.
“Ax? She’s not even in your fucking band or the tour anymore. Isn’t she doing a solo project or something? And this is the first I’m hearing of this. What the hell did she do to her?” End asked.
“A few months ago before Axiom left, she was walking in the hallway with her keyboard and this bitch wasn’t paying attention and ran into her, knocking her down. Did she help her up? No. Did she offer to pay for a new keyboard? No. Did she even fucking apologize? No! She just continued on her fucking way! THEN when Ax tried to confront her about it later in a very polite way, this bitch had the nerve to act like she didn’t know who she was and just preceded to ignore her! Ax is fucking legend in this business! And who the fuck is she? A fucking serving peasant at best!”

“Did that happen Thara?” End asked.
“I’m sorry sir, but I just don’t remember any of that. In fact, until her name was mentioned again I still don’t know who this Axiom is. I guess I just don’t pay attention to her brand of music. I can imagine I was running though since I am often busy performing tasks for you sir. If I did do something like knocking her down, I also imagine I did apologize. She probably didn’t hear me.” Thara explained.
“See, she said she apologized. Just a simple misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding my ass! She didn’t fucking apologize and she knows what the hell she did!”
“I’m not even sure why you care, it isn’t like you and Ax are together anymore, in fact last time I remember you briefly spent a few days in the slammer AGAIN for hitting her. You used to bitch about her always criticizing your song writing and guitar playing. Not to mention you used to say she wasn’t exactly that lively in the sack and didn’t even like sex all that much. You guys had that…thing, what the hell’s that thing called with the lezzies?” End said trying to remember terminology.
“I believe it’s called lesbian bed death syndrome, sir.” Thara added.
“Yeah that. Besides aren’t you fucking Bucky now anyway? I mean you seem happier with him than you ever were with Ax, so I’m not sure why you’re continuing to white knight her unless of course you’re still holding a torch for her…”
“This isn’t about me, goddamn it! This is about your daughter being an absolute cunt on a regular basis. But if you want a more recent example, let’s talk about what she did with T-Count and his band HIV For Vendetta.”

“So what did she do to them?” End sighed.
“About a week before that big Christmas show we had, she said they sucked and personally told T-Count that he should practice more. I mean like what the fuck!?” Mizal said.
“So? That same week I heard Steve on a regular basis talking shit about everyone and saying how much they suck and his ass didn’t even PLAY the Christmas show because he got drunk, got into a fight with a Mall Santa and then wiped his ass with an elf.” End remarked.
“To be fair, I’ve heard T-Count and his band and they do suck. I especially don’t know what the hell Zag’s doing. Sounds like he’s beating up his guitar.” Sentinel said.
“I know they suck, Sent. We ALL know they suck, but T-Count is making a genuine effort to get better and it’s not this bitch’s place to say shit anyway! All that fucking does is bring down morale! We don’t need that negativity before a big show!”
“Negativity? I’d say you bring more negativity than anyone else here! You’re always making fun of others and generally being nasty. And besides I didn’t say T-Count sucked, I just merely provided suggestions on how he could improve, and I even wished him good luck for the show!” Thara said.
“I was nearby, and that’s not how I heard it worded.”
“Well perhaps you need your hearing checked. That can sometimes happen when old age begins to set in…”

Mizal briefly leaned forward as if she looked like she was going to jump over the table causing Thara to instinctively hide behind End.

“Yeah…you better hide.” Mizal said.
“Okay, let’s all just take a breather. It’s been fight free so far.” Sentinel said.
“It’s been BORING so far! Steve wants to see these two bitches claw each other’s eyes out already!” Steve shouted.
“Alright let me just say something. First, T-Count and his band are barely better than WBP, and I’m not just talking about how much their music sucks, I’m talking about when T-Count was starting fights with other people on the tour. And yeah I know that’s not an uncommon occurrence around here, but this asshole just got here and is already acting like a fucktard. I NEARLY threw him off the tour before the Christmas show. However he stepped up which is why his band is still around. So if Thara DID say anything, then it obviously worked because HIV actually sounded good for a change.” End said.
“My point is, that’s not her place to say anything at all. She’s not one of us and it wasn’t her concern since she wasn’t in the fucking show.” Mizal said.
“Yeah, she was just being a bitch to T-Count for no reason.” Malk said.
“I agree, Thara should just shut her cocksucker when it comes to this shit.” Bucky added.

“I don’t understand why the hell you guys are all so intent on white knighting T-Count. The guy was fucking up so badly before all this that I distinctly remember you lot saying what a retard he was. However, if I knew you’d be riding his dick so hard, I would gotten you all ass plugs for Christmas so you’d all be able to practice.” End said.
“Pfft! Steve needs no practice!” Steve remarked.

“In any case T-Count didn’t say shit to me about it, so he seems fine or he’s at least not as bothered as apparently you all are constantly.”
“He’s probably not going to complain too much because he wants to stay on the tour!”
“Can we wrap this up? I think I’ve heard enough white knighting of T-Count for awhile.”
“Y’know End, for someone that keeps throwing the term white knight around, you sure are doing a lot of it. It’s bullshit. Because it’s exactly what Malk said earlier, her overall demeanor is fucking annoying and she KNOWS its fucking annoying and has been for a long time.”

“Hmm, well if you had problems with me, why did you not come to me before in private directly like a real woman and discuss this instead routinely attacking me? I still don’t know what you’re talking about anyway; I try my best to actively stay out of your way and everyone else’s because I don’t want any trouble. Yet you constantly attack or try to bait me into a fight.” Thara remarked.
“I fucking HAVE tried to talk to you. So have several others! YOU choose not to listen!” Mizal exclaimed.
“Well of course I’m not going to listen when you lot yell and gang up on me! And I know you like to be queen bee or whatever, I don’t care, I’m not seeking to usurp your position anyway! I’m just trying to do my job. But I’m not going to be intimidated by you like this is some sort of high school.”
“Not intimidated? HAHAHAHA! And that’s why you constantly run to End so we don’t collectively kick your ass huh? Thanks for being amusing for once.” Mizal laughed.
“Actually it’s more amusing that if she’s as annoying as you claim she is, you’re the ones getting all triggered by her and she’s barely doing anything.” End remarked.
“And once again fuck you End. If someone was annoying you like she does with us, you would have thrown them off the tour already. At this point I can only believe that you’re either blind or you’re fully aware and just don’t give a shit. And knowing you, I’m very sure it’s the latter.”
“Yeah, stop making excuses for her!” Malk added.

“I’m really not, but if you want to talk about making excuses, I make excuses for you fuckers ALL the goddamn time! You know how much shit you lot stir up? There are still places we can’t go on this tour because you’re all banned there for whatever reason!” End remarked.
“Pfft, don’t gimme that shit End, you don’t care what we do and we pull our weight around here.” Mizal said.
“Yeah and you guys are fun to be around, but do you realize how much easier it would be if we just toured without you? Save a lot of headache on permits and legal shit that’s for sure. Every band on this tour has a grievance with at least three of you at any given time. Sentinel has said on several occasions that he wish you lot weren’t even here half the time.”
“What?! I said no such thing!” Sentinel said, not wishing to get dragged into this.
“Okay a third of the time. Whatever. My point is if you’re saying I’m making excuses for Thara, I’m making at least the same amount for you. I mean shit, when you guys aren’t fighting with everyone else, you’re fucking fighting with each other!”
“Yeah well it certainly doesn’t FEEL like you’re ever on our side or even my side.”
“Not on your side? Now that’s bullshit. Haven’t I hooked you up when you have asked for small favors? I mean what was it, a couple days ago, someone brought donuts for you, but Steve took the whole box to his room and told you to fuck off. Bucky wasn’t around to talk sense into him, and Malk’s too chicken shit. So you asked me for help, and what did I do? I broke into his room and got the donuts back for you while he was out getting drunk and fucking some whores, so you can’t say that I’m never on your side.”

“HAH! STEVE KNEW IT! Steve knew it was YOU who fucking stole Steve’s goddamn donuts. You need to get your tongue outta Mizal and back into your daughter where it belongs, you American fuck pig!” Steve exclaimed.

“Besides you’re the only one that gets really fucking worked about all this anyway. Steve’s a fucking drunk degenerate that picks fights at the drop of a hat so he’s going to bitch regardless and it’s not going to mean shit. Bucky doesn’t seem to care that much…” End said
“Yeah, I’ve started to take a zen approach to it End, your daughter is a cunt and isn’t really worth my time getting bothered about. No offense.” Bucky interrupted.
“…none taken. And as for Malk, he probably just wants to fuck her and is just too socially inept to talk to her properly. So he’s basically doing the verbal equivalent of pulling her pigtails and running away.”

Malk started to say something and then looked down.

“You’re right.” Malk sobbed.

“In any case, this is all pretty fucking stupid and a waste of time.” End said.

Mizal was silent for a moment judging on whether or not to bother pressing the issue any further, but ultimately she decided to agree since there really wasn’t too much point in continuing.

“Yeah fine, this is stupid and a waste of time. Maybe you’re right, and I need to stop getting myself worked up about her. She’s getting boring anyway and I have more important things to focus on.”
“So…wait. Did you guys actually come to an agreement?” Sentinel asked.
“More like an understanding I suppose. I’ll ignore Thara, if she stays out of my way.”
“But that’s what I’ve been TRYING to do from the beginning. (Sigh) However, yes I’m fine with that arrangement.” Thara replied.
“Okay then. Everyone else?” Sentinel asked.
“Like I said, I’m cool.” Bucky remarked.
“I guess so.” Malk reluctantly agreed.
“Steve will do what Steve wants and fuck all of you.” Steve said.
“Well that’s about as good as we’re going to get. So are we done with this shit now?” End asked.
“Yeah, meeting adjourned.”

Mizal & Friends couldn’t get out of the meeting room fast enough so they could get back to doing what they do best, namely causing trouble for everyone else.

Thara hung back for a moment to talk to End since she wasn’t too keen on immediately leaving even if things had supposedly been settled. Besides she had some things to report anyway.

Meanwhile Sentinel was just glad it was over and some sort of progress was reached.

Eventually Thara left to go happily perform her usual tasks assigned to her,  End noticed Sentinel was still sitting at the table.

“You still here? Thought you’d want to be out of this room as quick as everyone else got out of here.” End said.
“Just temporarily lost in thought, I was just thinking how lucky this didn’t turn into a fist fight.” Sentinel responded.
“I was confident that wasn’t going to happen. I’ll probably be laughing about all this with at least a few of them later.”
“Hmm, you guys do have unique personalities in common. Well looks like its going to be show time in a few hours, probably should start getting ready.”
“Yeah, so I guess one of us should go find Derp. Why don’t you do that?”
“Derp? He hasn’t been playing with us for months! He left saying he wasn’t getting paid enough money again. Didn’t you notice?”
“Not really, I tend to just focus on myself when I get on stage as you well know, plus it isn’t like bass is all that important anyway. Anyway, who’s been playing bass then?”
“The new guy! That Wibbons guy…or girl…I don’t know exactly.”
“Great, now the band has a hermaphrodite in it. Now all we need is to go get that blind girl that Mizal & Friends beat the hell out of to play tambourine, leave our dicks in a bucket by the door, inject ourselves with estrogen and we can call ourselves Diversity Squad.”
“Jesus Christ End…it’s not that bad. And who cares what it is right? They play bass better than Derp.”
“Well that’s not hard, but they’ve been quiet enough to stay off my shitlist, so yeah I guess they can’t be all that bad. Anyway since you know what this person looks like better than I do, you can go find them.”
“Okay, but what are you going to do?”
“Gonna do your mom, but afterwards I’ll go find Seto. He’s probably watching that stupid 90s sitcom that was popular and they remade, rolling and laughing on the floor like a loon. I’ll try to sneak up on him again; it’s hilarious. He gets all worried when someone finds out what he’s doing.”
“Um, I really hope you’re badly joking about doing my mom, End. We had an agreement.”
“Of course I’m joking. Geez. I’m actually gonna go do Malk’s mom. If the little bastard wants to leer at my daughter, think nasty thoughts about her and not treat her like a lady, I’m gonna go treat his mom like a whore. See ya for the New Years show!”

And with another crisis averted, another chapter in the ongoing saga of ANGZT closed.

Wibbons is my thing, you unoriginal cockwich (cock between slices of bread). Get your own name for the dumb bitch. There was a surprisingly little amount of incest and for some reason it wasn't entirely about Steve, but it was good fun. Nice job, End.

Bah, your character is WibbINS, mine is WibbONS. Obviously two different characters.

And thanks.

Great job, EM. Steve, I do believe this quote applies to you. :)
“Profanity is the effort of a feeble brain to express itself forcibly.” -- Spencer W. Kimball

Trigger much? Haha! XD

"Now all we need is to go get that blind girl that Mizal & Friends beat the hell out of to play tambourine, leave our dicks in a bucket by the door, inject ourselves with estrogen and we can call ourselves Diversity Squad."
Well, it would be interesting? Please go do that.

Lol. I can't even play the guitar. That's exactly what it would sound like.

Fathering 101 with EndMaster:

“ 'If the little bastard wants to leer at my daughter, think nasty thoughts about her and not treat her like a lady, I’m gonna go treat his mom like a whore.' ”
 

You're a good dad, End.

Surprisingly so.

You used the phrase I shared. Ha.

Okay, now this was worth waiting to read on a real screen. Between this and Steve's newsletter, who needs some fat fuck getting stuck in a chimney, Christmas morning is already off to a magical start.

My only criticism is one you brought up yourself--Sent is far too sane and normal in these things. Needs to interrupt more meetings and concerts to rant about Star Wars or furiously hump a penguin.

“And once again fuck you End. If someone was annoying you like she does with us, you would have thrown them off the tour already."

"Yeah! Like that roadie or whatever you fired, just because his jokes weren't funny."

"Wait, who was this?"

"Uh...Patar, I think? You literally threw him out of the tour bus while it was still in motion. Then had the driver back over him. Twice. Surely you remember this."

"Oh! No, I mostly did that because he was a vocal muzzie sympathizer. In addition to being an unlikeable faggot."

Sent groaned and covered his face while everyone else looked around and shrugged. "Oh. Fair enough."

"See? Isn't it great that we can agree on things? This is why we get along. Now all of you get out, I've got moms to fuck."

There, just in time for Christmas.