Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

Let's see how many stories I have:

...tape...
A Challenger Approaches!
Crest: The Fallen
Exiled
Fated
Foreign Entity (published)
Hallway (published and apparently awful)
Jawed
Just Animals
Neverending Darkness
Passed Away
Renascence: Leverage
Renascence: Penance
Renascence: Strive
Renascence: Umbra
Renascence: Vigor
The Hounds Grow Near

So PLEASE guys, tell me which story I should actually work on. I need to finish at least SOME of these.

Oh, are we playing pin the tail on the title? @mizal @EndMaster Come blindfold and spin me! Let's play!

Hallway (published and very awful)

Just you wait until I write, "Hallway III - So Many Hallways." It'll knock your knickers off. Well, hopefully not. That'd be awkward.

Okay then. Just don't forgot to add the link tapping multiple times.

Hallway IV: The Hallwakening.

Hallway- The final hallway (this time it's personal)

enough with the mention of Hallway, you guys.

You brought it up in the OP. In court, when the defense opens a can of worms they want to have back, they don't get that luxury. The prosecution takes those worms and lands the mother-load.

it really isn't that bad. I stated in the OP that it is 'apparently' awful, because people seem to think it is when it's not.

Please tell us how it's not.

It's artsy and the protagonist was dead all along, so METAPHOR METAPHOR METAPHOR METAPHORMETAPHORMETAPHOR METAPHOR.

Does that answer your question?

haha but seriously the writing is solid

Are you feeling okay lemons?

Mmm.....no, it's not. There are currently no real choices, except for the one that ends the game and the one that continues.

Nah, it's a shot attempt at art that completely falls flat, and im saying this as someone who enjoyed Foreign Entity very much.

Instead of whining and bitching like a Loooooooser, you could just accept the fact you made a shitty story and move on to make something else.

Really working on ANYTHING else at this point would be a bigger improvement than your constant shitposting.

Please, just stop shit posting.

If you want to know which of your stories people think would be the most interesting, that's perfectly acceptable. Steve has done it before. But don't just post the bloody title and go, "Hey guys, pick something, I'm bored, lol!" How about a description of the actual stories? A short blurb per se? That shouldn't be too much to ask, especially since you're the one who wants feedback.

I see a hallway and I want to take it back.

No comments anymore, I cannot take the flak.

I see a jibe online, my heart it will now break

I have to leave the keyboard until my weeping slows.

Edit: the font was all icky...

Lemons.. uwu

 

<3 Best damn band in the land! (Sorry my beloved Buckeyes, but the Stones rule king.)

(Check inbox, Bucky?)

I have nothing new from you, Thara.

Really? That's a bit odd, maybe I thought I was responded to you again in my sleep. :p

Congratulations, I believe you've won the thread with that iavatus.

I'd recommend just working on one at a time.

I bet you actually put effort into them

Hallway vs Corridor 3: The Return of the Legend of the Nightmare of Boredom

renascence: whatever

please, tell me this is the lesser of the two evils, and you made up some word. Not.... Trying to spell renaissance.

Please?

no, I was not trying to spell renaissance.

Well, points for honesty, I suppose. But seriously, if you want people to give you their opinions on what sounds interesting, offer up a short description of your projects.

but there are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many and I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooo lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

The Renascence games are just an anthology of superhero origin stories that I made up.

Tape is just some weird artsy experimental thing told almost entirely from the perspective of... a security camera.

Most people already know what Jawed and The Hounds Grow Near are about.

A Challenger Approaches is just this silly thing about a swordsman who is continually stalked by another warrior demanding a 'worthy challenger'.

Crest is an RPG about fairies

Neverending Darkness is a dating simulator

Fated is a fantasy war simulator type of thing

Just Animals is my unsubmitted school thing that people don't like because of a fight scene involving a tooth

Passed Away is Ghost without patrick swayze.

Well, I'll agree with you there. You are lazy. I was thinking more along the lines of a paragraph or two description for each story. You are the one who wants feedback after all. But, for what you have here...

Meh.

Eh, no.

I'm guessing that means it's fan fiction?

Sounds cliche going off just that.

The fay can be cool, depending on how they're done.

Oh... please, no.

War simulators are difficult to do well, but it'd be pretty sweet if you could get all of the scripting worked in to make a good one.

Well, I wouldn't trash a story over one scene... I'd just rewrite the scene to something more reasonable.

Sounds like a copycat then.

--

From those short descriptions, the fay story is probably your best bet for a new project. A war simulator would need loads of script and planning. But I'd finish your school story first... minus the tooth.

Also, I don't get why the Hallway is ranted on when the Flame (the story that inspired it) has no ending besides giving up and is entirely linear in its choices?

The Flame isn't even a CYOA and it's got a higher rating for some reason.

I had to look up the Flame to see what you were going on about, but it would appear to be a complete story with interesting things happening and choices every step of the way. It does loop, yes, but I didn't bother continuing to click after that and still read a perfectly decent short story. Nothing to get all excited about, and not really deserving of a five--it's a 2013 story, that's ratings inflation at work--but not anything wrong with it.

Sorry, but the Hallway was just dull. If ratings are important to you, then a major part of that is appealing to your audience. What is appealing about sitting there clicking a link and why would busy people with school and jobs and all the wonders of the entire internet right there at their fingertips care enough to do this for more than half a second?  

You're supposed to be putting out bait to entice and enthrall readers and keep them hooked. Looping descriptions of a hallway are a spectacular failure in this regard.

@swedishlemon

I haven't done this since Brennon. Sadly, I'm going to half to do this hopefully one last time.

Okay, level with me here. Your first storygame was good, a definite 4-5/8. But that doesn't mean you should get lazy with your work. Plus you keep yelling for attention when you know that nobody is going to help you 'co-author' or wrote th entire story and plot. This is pathetic. Now, after writing your first, good storygame, you go and make the laziest and worst attempt at a second story I have seen in a while. Now you keep whining around about its so good and everybody is apparently a 'looooooozer' for trying to tell you to get better. You've not gotten better, no surprise there. Now you shitpost and vandalized the cite. If you want to talk and not give up, I'm here. 

Do something.

This thread was fun to read. I always admire the conviction of people who insist that their work is phenomenal when surrounded by people patiently trying to explain that it's crap... Like Tommy Wiseau or Derek Savage or those people on X-Factor that're convinced they're the best singer the judges have ever heard even while they cover their ears. I mean who needs the approval of others when you already know in your heart that your game is a masterpiece? ^_^