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My laptop broke and can't be fixed. What should i do?

Details, you should give us details. What happened? Drop / Burn / Hard Drive failure / BIOS failure / Battery failure/ Something else? Describe the state of your system, how long you've had it, and any troubles you've had in the past with it.

I don't even know. I turned it off, then back on, and the entire screen just started freaking out. I've had it for 2 years, but this is the first problem I've ever encountered with it.

Follow Ford's checklist (minus the early sarcasm). Furthermore, what make is it (Dell/Lenovo/Toshiba/etc) and what model (will be written near a serial number on the underside of the laptop), and how long have you been using it?

inb4 "my credit card number is ~~~ please just help me"

also "I've had it for 2 years" ---> "how long have you been using it?" I laughed. too late for this high-paced comedy.

Missed that line, ya self-satisfied nihilist. In any case, you clearly have more time than me, I leave this resolve to you.

I'm the wrong nationality to help with IT beyond the basics. We need an indian guy for tech support.

Ford. I'd ask that you keep your shortsighted views to yourself. As usual, they're adding nothing to the discussion.

I'd say don't get help here of all places but this is probably the only place on the internet you'd find it unless it's already elsewhere.

Google the basic specs and "screen problem" or whatever is wrong with it. Diagnose and fix it. "Screen just started freaking out" is just as vague as "laptop broke" - you may as well have just tweeted something so unspecific and not asked because nobody knows what the question your asking is.

General procedure checklist for a laptop to identify the problem:

1. check for laptop (ask: is it actually a laptop? Is it just a calculator that grandma sets on her lap? Is it an electronic at all? Does it exist? Do the components exist?)
2. check for power (does it have electricity going to it in any way? does it show it? ie lights or noise)
3. check for power button (does the power button exist?)
4. check power button function (does the power button work? ie does it turn the laptop on? pro tip: the way to check is if there's noises or light after trying this test)
5. check display (does the screen exist?)
6. check display function (does the screen do absolutely anything? ie blink, flash, turn on, show or display anything at all? this will show if there's electricity running to the screen)
7. check bios (does the manufacturer logo show on screen for a split second when the laptop is turned on? if it does, the bios exists. if it doesn't, it doesn't. This is very vague as the entire motherboard could be missing. Be sure to check for everything in step 1.)
8. check bios function (check boot)
9. check boot (does the computer boot an OS? the most popular of these are Windows, Mac OSX, a Linux distribution like ubuntu or arch or mint, or Chrome. If you see a logo of any of these after seeing the manufacturer of the PC's logo then the boot has started)
10. check boot function (does it boot all the way? most commonly after booting there is some form of login screen for the computer. if the pc is insecure it will just display the desktop)

this is the general checklist of identifying what's wrong. please provide details as to which step you get to before problems arise.

I don't have the necessary amount of interest or crayons to help you any further, so I leave the rest to others.

Aha, that is a general + retarded procedure checklist, no offense Ford but the whole "Does it even exist thing" was like..too far. Anyway, Your screen being black is not a product of command or programming unless you specifically programmed it like that, but since you didn't it has to be a problem with the wiring, opening and closing a laptop can pull the wires, or if it has been dropped the hardware may be busted. Your best try is to go to a computer specialist and have them look at it, or since it's 2 years old there is always the option to buy a new one....

Yes Ford fuck off you're adding ~nothing~ to this already cluttered and bewildering, massive thread but distractions from the main topic that already no one understands or can possibly keep up with.

Anyway I'm so very disappointed with both the vague ass thread title and the OP, Wiggle have you received blows to the head from any mall cops recently? Your last thread was so much better.

Are you two like on bad terms or something?

Reading "forever" but never reading very well I see.

Forget it.

Ha! It's obvious that Read's more talented at getting banned than actually (if ever) reading. 

I read physical books..my eyes hurt if I look at a screen too long.

Your reading comprehension and concept of sarcasm should still be much more highly developed than the level you're on right now. I'm assuming the library of books you've been reading forever is comprised entirely of Dick and Jane.

You can assume whatever you wan to hun :).  And at least I'm on a level where I'm smart enough to put nothing in my profile description instead of filling it with a bullshit story about worms and crap like the retard you are.

"OH GOD HE INSULTED ME! I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING TO JUDGE HIM BACK!"

*Clicks Profile Page*

*Avoids insulting shitty furry drawings because she's animu trash and shouldn't be talking.*

*Avoids insulting the readily available movie opinions in the post history because she has no taste and shouldn't be talking.*

*Avoids insulting the readily available 1990s FPS fanfiction he wrote in 7th grade in the post history, because she obviously dropped out of 7th grade around that time and so she shouldn't be talking.

*Avoids insulting the horrible duel win/loss rate because she's literally lost 100% of all the duels she's partaken in on this account and shouldn't be talking.*

*Avoids insulting the low commendation rate and ranty comments because she's done nothing of any importance to contribute to the site and shouldn't be talking.*

"UHH YOUR STORY ABOUT A KID SHITTING CTHULHU WORMS OBVIOUSLY ISN'T TRUE! RETARD!"

Seriously though, is profile-stalking people just because they insulted you a thing to do now? Or is it just between you and Thara?

Pls, having multiple mentions of a person on your profile is more apt to be considered stalkerish. Especially quotes from them from old posts months ago, more so than simply clicking on one's profile which is something I'm sure everyone does.

But in any case, I'm glad you've gotten through that phase. Now please continue with the show.

Those weren't quotes of you, though. Those were sardonic paraphrasals about your general habits after the thread where we all made fun of you for putting anime tiddie in your profile picture. (And whose generalisations stayed relevant in subsequent derailments.) And that's quite an achievement to find, considering they were hidden in the midst of an enormous quote morass for you to rummage through/click my profile all the time to find.

I mean, hell, you go to such lengths to justify your stalker behavior, but you can't even pay attention when you do it. Seems counterintuitive. I'll gladly put them back up if you need to practice your reading comprehension too.

Misquotes that are still loosely quotes in a way, and multiple ones at that. I think you've had my name in your profile the most out of anyone so it was quite easy to find, but since you're always saying my name whenever you feel the compulsive need to do so (which is more often than not) I recommend tagging me whenever the obsession for your daily fix of my attention becomes too much for you to handle :)

And since you mention derailments they do seem to start the same way, it's almost like deja vu whenever I see you referring to me.

I know I must remain in your mind for all hours of the day, but you should learn to have a bit more restraint in these matters. We can only have what's essentially the same conversation so many times after all.

"In a way", I suppose, but unless you purposefully said those things to point out your own hypocrisies as a joke, it's not really a quote now, is it? And, I mean, hell, I'm not one to check, but I'm pretty sure I remember putting actual quotes from Swiftstryker and Aman in multiple times more than I remember the 3 or 4 jokes I wrote in ten minutes after that one thread. But if you're really self-obsessed enough to search and count it, that's fine. At least it's not me you're stalking, just people's opinions of you.

Mm, maybe. It's probably because derailments are some of the only times we really bother to talk about anything. Here, lemme weaponize my autism here and give you a more reasonable estimate: I probably think about you once a week, unless something like this happens, which requires me to think about who the hell I'm typing to in order to respond.

Given how we only ever seem to talk when you're being a twat and I can't be arsed to consider every odd internet acquaintance a multi-facetted human being, I've just come to associate the traits of typical annoying little girls with the name Thara. Had this been months and months ago, I would've been comparing people to Read, or Mousepaw, or that one WC Kid*, but this shit keeps happening and renewing your status as the obnoxious wee twatter.

So in short, you think about me whenever you think of annoying little girls? And you at least think of me once a week (allegedly) well that clears up everything. Thank you for the answer. 

Now I have my answer, but I will refrain from asking how long that you do typically think of me in that supposed once per week timeframe.

Long enough to say something along the lines of "That's a very Thara thing to say/do", and then remember some burning questions I have about the world that need answering. Like, why the hell does the Tuileries have those weird portholes in the roof? Either way, it's not really a call to arms. It's like making a Star Wars reference. You don't expect Star Wars to start playing every time you mention a moon being a space station.

It's okay, no need for the Star Wars references. I understand, you're not the only one after all.

It wasn't that I didn't think you'd understand, it's just that Star Wars playing every time someone made a reference to it was a funny mental image for me.

Excellent, lots of fighting happened. I didn't bother to read most of it but can still feed off the negative emotions.

Stryker revealing his feelings for Ford was intriguing but probably not sustainable, this is much better.

TharaXSent confirmed

Now you're just bringing back bad memories from the shipping thread era. 

When was that?

It'll be a pain to find the threads but I think that's more your area of expertise. 

e: Some months ago... It's not years, so it won't be too hard. Unless they're like deleted or something. 

Those all got deleted when Bad Mod Kiel was trying to cover his tracks.

Ah. Kiel, of course. 

T-Count wasn't around at the time. Derp, however, who bears a strange resemblance, basically started the whole thing...

Well Cys crushes still seem to be a thing apparently, maybe you can revive them.

Can I ask what the hell the deal is with nonconsensually shipping people who obviously don't like each other? Is that supposed to be what rape culture is, or...?

No, Sent. No.

To be fair, I don't really have any evidence or opinions on whether rape culture does or doesn't exist, I just find the concept of "Tsundere" to be an incredibly creepy 4th-grade misconception, and I'm very much afraid that some of the basement-dwelling neckbeards who believe it's a real thing will end up raping someone for being "Tsundere". That's what I was making fun of.

Oh, haha. In hindsight I should have said something sarcastic and funny. 

I really hope that doesn't happen.

 

I mean, it's good that you replied that, because if you leave stuff like that out in the open without really explaining it, someone's going to call you out and then you'll end up like Jontron.

You want me to clarify? I hope that no animu weeb trash neckbeard gets the wrong idea about someone on the street and ends up making their wet dream a reality.

I mean, it's good that you replied in a way that made me clarify I wasn't making a spciopolitical stance that I wasn't.

But yes, weeb hate is always fun.

Except when you're on the receiving end, and you don't qualify as a weeb.

That's why you have to be specific about what issues you're after. Even your previous statement is iffy when it's outta context. A weeaboo getting the wrong idea about a stranger he met on the street and fulfilling his wet dream could potentially be beneficial to everyone involved. He could mistake the man walking behind him for a ninja assassin, so he goes and hides on a boat, which is actually setting its course for Japan. He could misinterpret what a stranger says to him in the back of a van when she tells him she'll "Make his wildest anime dreams come true", then turn into a tentacle monster and bring him sexual enlightenment.

Aha..hahah.you are so special.....the fact that while attempting to diss me you completely trashed yourself makes me wonder why I even bother to fight with you, I see all your posts are just random nonsense you put together so that you seem somewhat intelligible but, I think you're really a little kid that got abused a lot and you have to let it out here. Which is fine, We're here to help Sentinel.

Read, you realize you're despised and only barely tolerated, right? The only reason End let you back in in the first place was because you pissed off Kiel and that amused him. But that only goes so far. No one is ever going to side with you with an internet fight, and the results are pretty laughable when you try to hold your own. Since every post you make brings you one step closer to the executioner's block, maybe it would be best to just not wade into these things.

Go read a story or something. Or...anything useful at all. Seriously, I'm looking at your profile and wondering why you're even here.

That's not why EndMaster let me back, it's because he is not an idiot like Kiel, banning a person who hasn't done anything wrong yet would just make him look bad. and I hope Endmaster notice's that every time I make a harmless post on topic you guys jump out and start attacking me, If Endmaster is a good Mod he should address that and I hope you all will stop being mean to me when I am really trying to be good here.

@Endmaster Are you a good Mod that notice's these things?

Read, now explain your whiny derail in the newbie section.

Derail my ass, you and Thara Clearly started derailing first by attacking me and that's a fact, the proof is right there. @Endmaster Mizal and Thara attacked me first, while I was just helping the guy with his Laptop, I definitely did not derail.

3W is female.

Oh my mistake, Thanks.

Your useless non-reading ass can't even tell that Wiggles is female. It's useless to tag End anyway, unless you want to move on to another account after the impending ban that's rapidly approaching you.

Excuse me, I didn't look at her picture! and when I saw Wigglewigglewiggle I automatically assumed male....

I'm sorry, but I can't help but think: How in the Hells do you assume that Wigglewigglewiggle is a MALE'S NAME?! I mean, how?

@Wigglewigglewiggle So Sorry!

I'm at work and can't really get into this right now, which is a pity because it would be a lot of fun. But End himself called you a retard in this very thread and it's not like it's the first time. 2.) Shitposting is absolutely a bannable offense, and the reason I suggest you stop altogether is because it seems to be the only kind of posting you're capable of. 3.) You've moved on to snivelling declarations of victimhood now, which anyone who can read better than you can would realize is a terrible idea.

Look at the posts of yours I responded to. No really, look at them.

You were helping with a laptop? Is this still an assertion you want to make?

I'm honestly curious. Can you read and comprehend words even you yourself typed? I'm trying to figure out how your brain works.

What Mizal said 'cept I agree with the whole Sent's posts are nonsense part.

He's trash. Granted nowhere as bad as you, but trash nonetheless.

>I am "Trash"

>Can't even be his own mythology

>Doesn't give his slaves any of the cool powers he promised

>Gives meaningless promotions to slaves for popularity

HMMM...

Let's take a look at the things I pointed out: Something I drew last year, (common target, I'm told) my favorite list of movies, my lack of winning games of chance, something I wrote when I was maybe 13/14, and my contribution to a hobby site. Yeah, those are all HUGE THINGS, I'm sure. I COMPLETELY ROASTED MYSELF with those offhanded comments about shit that has less bearing on who I am and what I do right now than the numerical amount of bread slices I've toasted in my life. (Capitals added so you can tell where the sarcasm is in this "Incomprehensible mess".)

I was merely pointing out things on my profile that would've made better insults. I mean, while not hiding how pathetic you are, they would at least make you look less retarded than pointing out the fact that, yeah, that story about worms eating students alive and a kid shitting eyeballs never happened. How long did it take you to figure that one out, by the way? Just curious.

Now, about my posts being unintelligible, that's a dead horse Thara didn't even bother beating anymore in this very thread. If you can't be arsed to actually pay attention and figure out the blatant messages contained in this text, maybe you really should attempt reading something more than Dick and Jane. Maybe try to work your way up to such tomes as "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" so you can actually comprehend the words that I'm using. Though, I can't say with full confidence that I think it's within the range of your attention span. You may have to read it in short bursts.

I knew it was a bull shit story the second I started reading it so...yeah you're just making yourself look more stupid with these ridiculous insults, at least I can find something that needs to be called out unlike you making up random crap that only happens in La La land..anyway, what happened to MasonJarGuzzi?

"making up random crap that only happens in La La land" OH, YOU MEAN THE WHOLE REASON THIS SITE IS HERE!? Okay, okay, that's fine, I get it now. Maybe you've got a few too many chromosomes and I've been really wasting my time talking to you.

Ah well, all is not lost. I have a higher post count now!

Trying to change the topic is the number one choice of people in a losing argument.

Screens give me a headache, too. Generally it's when I'm reading the spastic episodes of a bastard goblin borne of sibling  crankheads like you, though.

HEY! That's insulting to Gobboz! Gobbos can thinks things good! They makes tricksy schemes! Read can't think things good!

Exactly, thank you.

Edit locking this for when you finally read the second sentence in that post.

hahaha, right, I just read that, although I feel so stupid, I can't help but laugh.

Me: "Tech Support, how can I help you?"

Them: "I'm not able to log into the website!"

Me: "Okay what message is it showing when you try to log in?"

Them: "SIR, I am NOT a computer person so I don't know."

Me: "Do you know which web browser you're using?"

Them: "I don't know what that is!"

Me: "Okay, when you want to go on the internet, do you click on a blue E, or a multicolored circle, or..."

Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"

It's a two year old laptop, pitch it in the trash. You seem even more technically helpless than I am so you can't fix it yourself and getting it fixed by someone else is generally almost as expensive as buying a new one.

This is why desktop computers remain the superior choice BTW.

Anyway the OP was pretty vague and useless but watching Ford generate salt without even trying and the possibility he might inspire future sniping (just barely) made this thread worthwhile.

It's the last days for Ford since he's going to be dead soon. He's making the best of what time he has left.

Good point, let's treasure these moments while they last.

Well since you work part-time apparently... gradually put money aside to replace it with a better one.

Your computer is broken. Now you are freed from the chains of the internet! Hooray!

You should now go outside and make some new friends.

I just realized we've been going about this thread all wrong. It's not a plea for tech support, she says right there the computer can't be fixed. What she wants is suggestions for how to spend her time now.

Wiggle, I recommend taking up origami, or loom beading. (During the day. At night you should return to your warrior roots and roam the streets fighting crime.)

(That one sounds really fun. Just make sure to wear some good armor, or have peak human skills in agility.)

So basically what I gathered from this thread:

Ford was being a mixture of himself and helpful
Stryker got pissed at Ford for being racist
Read was being a retard as usual
Thara and Sentinel got into a fight for some reason
T-Count tried to ship them together
Mizal was pleasuring herself to all the drama
Zag was being boring compared to everyone else
Wiggle probably still has a broken laptop

Anyway, I leave you with these words of wisdom as a lesson to remind everyone of how much better things are now.

"As a simple citizen, the one who would become Bad Mod Kiel was subject to passive aggressive behavior. People said he would overcome that, but it got worse when he seized mod status."

"Bad Mod Kiel employed weird outcasts that worshipped his every word because the rest of the tribe would not."

"When Thane Steve expressed freedom of speech, Bad Mod Kiel penalized him unjustly and Thane Steve could not sit down for days."

"Bad Mod Kiel consorted with degenerates, toasting them in his hall."

"Malk of the Cappy Plains once made a beautiful mural for the tribe. Bad Mod Kiel cruelly tortured Malk and made him destroy it."

"When important matters were brought to Bad Mod Kiel, he would neglect his duties and play with children instead."

"After killing Sir Ivy the Terrible for defying him, Bad Mod Kiel didn’t realize that more rebellion was to come."

"When Lady Briar Rose made a joke for the entire tribe to enjoy, Bad Mod Kiel had her whipped."

"Bad Mod Kiel often attempted to cover his wicked deeds, but the Old Crone Mizal cast a spell so that records of the infamous deeds would be preserved."

"High Priest Bucky advised Bad Mod Kiel that the proper sacrifices must be made to Dark Lord End for harvest time. Bad Mod Kiel sneered at this advice and instead mocked his name and provided no sacrifice bringing bad events to himself."

"When Good Admin JJJ tried to reason with him, Bad Mod Kiel stuck his fingers in his ears and screamed LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU."

"Before he was brought down by Good Admin JJJ, Bad Mod Kiel was reduced to tantrums and excuses."

What was the moral of this story, Papa?

Make the proper sacrifices at harvest time.

And when is harvest time again?

Happily, it's harvest time all year round now and sacrifices are plentiful.

And what is the ideal sacrifice?

An account of course.

Currently, T-Count, Wibbons, and Ford will possibly be providing those soon.

I see.

I'd have to be pathetically lazy to sacrifice myself. Plus, I heard the dark lord himself has a fondness for chaos and storygames, so my sacrifice will be a chaotic storygame (and T-Count).

Oh lord Endmaster! I have a beautiful alt to sacrifice! He is only two months younger than me, and has only done shitposting in the past! A truly marvelous feast for you!

http://chooseyourstory.com/Member/?Username=WittyCat

I have like, three alternate accounts I could sacrifice. I need to find the thread they're in...

Mine has been around since the time of Mardox. It was used as his minion for a while.

Yeah, the ones I'll sacrifice were made due to some troubles signing in on my main account.

Pretty much summarizes it. From their last login time the OP hasn't seen this thread since their initial replies, it's going to be amusing to see their reaction when they return to it.

Wiggles has been around a couple of years, this shouldn't surprise her at all.

I see the barley's been whispering secrets to End during the night.

Interesting phrase, where's it from / what's it referencing? Haven't come across this one before

It's from KODP too. You have to have a ring member who's crazy in just the right way.

I'm always a mixture of myself and helpful.

Hm, stay tuned for Read's next 20 alts.

Why do they never understand. It's so easy to not get banned. Everyone else manages to avoid it, effortlessly, every day.

Do we need another funeral thread just like with Honor? I mean their names were quite similar after all. 

I think this one memorializes her fucktardery pretty well.

Still shaking my head at how this thread went down. A girl in NZ has a laptop break down. 48 hours and countless derails later a different person gets banned. You'd think 'Random X happens and Y gets banned' is unintentionally becoming an overplayed humor trope on CYS.

This thread had a positive outcome. I'm happy that it was created to be honest. 

Well, it solved everything except Wiggle's laptop problem. We still don't know what even happened there, make of that what you will.

I enjoyed the part where she tagged you over to her own execution. Not sure how else she thought that one was going to go.

*20,000,000

FTFY

Remind me to never post asking for help here again...

Anyway i'm just buying a new laptop in a couple of weeks when i have the money. I took it to my uncle who said having it repaired wasn't worth it, so we both threw it over the balcony and smashed it to pieces with a sledgehammer and axe. I don't care if he was wrong, the enjoyment i got from that made it worth while.

it's pretty stupid to ask for help anywhere on the internet tbf

But on the bright side I've gained new respect for her laptop since it valiantly gave its life to get Read banned.

Never post here asking for help here again. You're welcome.

Thanks.

Your uncle sounds cool as hell.

He's my favorite relative.

Why are uncles always the coolest relative? One of my uncles is super rich and I went fishing on his majestic yacht, and the other started a bonfire in a forest and my cousin and I got to burn things. This was ironically next to a river. Oh, and we also carved stuff into wood with machetes.

This particular uncle is a body builder/power lifter, who just so happens to be rich, solves all my tech problems, and buy me Oreos whenever i visit. The Oreos are the main reason he's my favorite.

As many cool uncles there are there is just as many if not more you were never allowed to be alone with.

No, those were my cousins. I only have 2 uncles, both of whom are awesome.

Congrats. I personally take things out to the good ol' gun range (Yay America) and put holes into them.

My dad won't let me play with guns. :(

Was there no way for you to sell the individual working components of the computer or sell it to service centers? It seems very wasteful to simply destroy it.

In a similar vein, you did copy your data out of the Hard Drive before you pulverized it, right?