Already regaled the Discord with most of this but I wanted to immortalize my magical adventures with weird fruits in forum form.
So, while shopping I notice there's something new in the produce section!
Having only seen these a couple of times, and that on cooking shows, I quickly discover I have no natural immunity to impulse buying this particular foreign invader and take one instantly. One was too ripe, the other wasn't quite there yet, but one was juuuust right.
I think this picture had the best look at the armored hide.
Preparing the victim...er, patient for operation. I believe there's likely to be a baby dragon inside, trying to get out.
Sadly, there is no dragon. But it tastes like a mix between mango and pineapple with a soft and smooth texture. And since we all know that mango and things that are like mango are God's greatest gift to humankind, I'm instantly addicted. Those seeds are edible too, they turn into like tiny potatoes if you boil the heck out of them for 30 minutes apparently. I will be doing this tomorrow because for $25 I am eating every bit of the damn thing I can.
....yeah that's right, I paid $25 for a single fucking fruit. Forgot to mention that.
Not quite halfway through, I realize this is a LOT of freaking work. The 'fruit' is actually all just fleshy pods around the seeds, you have to pull them out individually and...there's a lot of them. And those long things in the front are the core which is a bitch and a half to remove. Pro tip: the little tag that came on the jackfruit said you put oil on your hands before trying to clean the thing and YES, DO THAT. THEY MEAN IT. The core oozes a resin that turns into glue and won't come off with soap and water. So eventually I'm just hacking away with one of those curved little peeling knives, very sharp, and canola oil on both hands so I can barely hold onto the thing. It's a miracle I didn't wind up with even more of a mess. The hassle of gutting and cleaning this is the main thing that would make me hesitate to buy one again.
Finally, I'm finished and have reaped the bounty. Jackfruit is used in a lot of vegan cooking (although you use the unripened ones for cooking in curries and the like) and so I imagine this is the closest a vegan will ever get to the sensation of having slain the mighty buffalo to feed their tribe.
Except I have no tribe so this is all for me:
The rind when cleaned out has the exact weight and feel of sections of tire rubber, or maybe that tarpaper they put on roofs. I go back later to cut most of those little shreddies out of the earlier picture too, and I'll try to make the "pulled pork" jackfruit tacos the internet won't shut up about or something with those tomorrow. Waste no part of the jackalo.
Now excuse me, I should probably fish these out and make a formidable pair of pauldrons.
In the end, despite being thought crazy by family and co workers I feel I made a GOOD PURCHASE DECISION. $25 seems like a lot until you realize the amount of fruit is the equivalent of about 20 mangos easily, and they'd be nearly as much of a hassle to clean at once as this was. And while I"m experimenting with a couple of savory uses (tastes great with cayenne btw), just devouring the fruit raw is amazing. I'll be freezing a bunch of it tomorrow to go into mock mangonados and smoothies and Dessert Bullet sorbets so that'll basically be heaven.
Well anyway that was probably the most exciting thing that happened to me all year, I hope you enjoyed my story.
