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The Warriors

Jesus Christ. Learn how to fucking write, or at least ask for proofreaders.

HOW? do I get fucking proof readers

Ask in Writing Workshop, but your story needs to be a few thousand words longer before anyone will proofread. Give me a three thousand word draft, and I'll proofread it for you.

You should unpublish that and have someone read over it first.

and i have they said that it was interesting 

someone in one of my classes

today 

well fuck you and im not special ed and neither are my friends and if you dont like this you can go fuck your self

It's not that he doesn't like this. It's that there is nothing to like.

i just started im getting to the good part

You are way too low on the totem pole to be making declarations like that, retard.

Chris stop picking on the mentally handicapped

Fuk no, pls Chris. 

For the sake of Uganda no!

Honestly if you deleted just the last 268 words or so and rewrote that, could be good.  

fuck you all

fuck it if you think you could make this story better then go ahead tell me what i should right instead 

if you call me mentally handy capped one more God damb time I swere

I’m not entirely sure why you keep responding to my thread with this, but sure by my estimation you’re “mentally handy capped”.

You swear what. It's the internet, lad. Suck it up. Write at least a thousand words, and come back to us for reviewing .

 

tell me how you would rewright it and btw I have worked on all of that

I offered you proofreading services, and all you've got to do is write another 3000 words of your story.

im not even close to being done with my story why are you telling me this 

I thought this was a constructive comment until I checked the total word count lol.

how am i a troll

hmm

thats what i thought

your pissing me of 

who the fuck is fang

fuck you

Stop making new threads for this. You have like three threads up already. I already reviewed this "story" in the Writing Workshop. You took none of my advice and just posted the same "story" again. Learn English or make your story in whatever language your country speaks. Why don't you try using the spellchecker that is quite literally built in to the website before begging people to proofread your pile of illiteracy?

im fucking American you bitch

what does this say

 i am send elctronic mal 2 u 2day 2 discus improtant mater abut site "choseurstroy". i haev decide 2 let ban u form siet. HOWEER i am wiling 2 let u bac on uner 1 conditon: u sho bob and vegani pic. tis very impotant 4 me becuz i am dieing of raer disees were onli bob adn vegani can cuer me pls bb am so honry i need bob and vegani pleze adn thak u

And I'm Russian. Really makes your writing look poor doesn't it? But I'm done trying to help you so here you go: 

well criticizing my shit is not helping

I thought you wanted criticism?

Not that you provided anything to critique.

Try actually writing something, in English, and then get back to us. There's nothing to discuss right now.

how about you choke on another pickle you fat bitch living in your moms basement 

lol

Damn, miz. Rekt.

We were all having so much fun, I was sorry to have to be the one to have to pull the trigger. But what else can you do when they beg for death.

He really crossed a line bringing pickles into this. Good riddance.

He provided entertainment while it lasted.

I think you were on the fast track to a pickle pic. You should thank Mizal for her mercy.

Here you go! ^_^

Happy fapping ^_^

... Hey, aren't Warriors games supposed to be banned?

Ms. Mizal turned to the class of slobbering children, she scans the room noticing that the Indian boy in the corner had been staring at her below the neck line for the past hour. Making a mental note to beat him later, she presented the child in front of her to the class.

“This is Gunther. He is 6 years old and is from Alabama. Everybody say Hi Gunther!”

A mixed grunt of salutations and screams rung throughout the room.

“Tell us a little about yourself, what do you like to do for fun?”

Gunther waved to the class, although it quickly became an act that can only be described as dying pelican trying to fly whilst 80% of its wing mass on either side had been shot off.

“i liek guns n’ fortnte I hav a big sercet i wath my liltte pony. my autn is my momy an’ i -“ a bang silences the monstrosity. Ms. Mizal picks up some chalk and continues teaching, the principal will be pleased.

I could have spent all this time writing, but reading this thread was like watching a crack addict in a car accident. When the series of onlookers showed up with medical aid, the burning driver just ran out into the street, and picked a fight with half the people trying to help. This attempted fight also included the mayor of the whole town. Then he turned around and got his ass handed to himself by the resident bad ass russian before throwing himself under the wheels of the ambulance. The last part was incredibly impressive because the ambulance was parked.

I don't regret reading this thread. Somebody should do something about the short dog that's nuking third world countries and sexually assualting/blackmailing young men.