Forums » Newbie Central » Read Thread

Just gave it a read. I'm not really sure what the writing standards are for your class, but what you have written so far... isn't great. I have a hard time believing this took hours worth of effort; there are only 810 words. You claim it's an educational game, but it doesn't seem very informative at all. If you'd like to improve your writing abilities, there are plenty of helpful articles under Help & Info. As your storygame currently stands, I don't think you'll get a good grade on it. You could also read some of the other published storygames on the site to get a feel for higher quality writing and branching.

Basically what Mizal and Sherbert said.

You need a bit more detail in the story to make it feel more immersive. More about how horrible the camp conditions are, sadistic guards, torture descriptions, more branching, extra historical info, etc. Things like that.

The theme/content of your story is fine, it wouldn't get taken down for those reasons since we're pretty inclusive here.

Please change your avatar before I ban you.

Edit: Oh wait, I forgot that we can purge now. 

It's fine that you're gay. However, also being a furry is a no-go in my book of ethics. I only accept Brad because he likes dragons and shit, and is an all around alright person. 

However, reading your story, I’m unsure on whether or not you're a troll, or you simply have the characteristics of one.

This d20 roll thing you're crafting, at the time of this post, it would not last being published. I say this because I believe it wouldn't meet site standards of staying up. But it's free to remain unpublished, and you can give the link out to anyone you so please, until it's actually improved upon in quite a few areas.

My eyes! You're assaulting them with these videos.

I was just messing with you in regards to banning you for an avatar. CYS is way more inclusive than that to ban someone simply because they like to adorn themselves in a smelly, disgusting, fursuit. 

At least I wouldn't do such a thing. 

But I see that you're insulting me by calling me an ass. That's rather rude, as I haven't insulted you in such a manner. You're not really setting a good example for your fellow furman with such a reaction. 

However, that avatar was something on the eyes.

Phew. Well, I've said my piece. Good luck with your writing. I really do hope it turns out to be something that can be enjoyed by even one person that may find themselves reading it. 

Yeah? Okay. 

Yeah Thara! Educate yourself about furries, you biased bitch! I'd say this video gives a pretty good representation of the wholesome furry community. ^_^

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmULc5VANsw

Well, I can say with complete certainty that CYS does not have nearly enough games about gay Nazis. Do not disappoint me. ^_^

Okay, here you go. 

You need to back your school shit up my dude. You never know when it might get deleted by a mod on a writing site.

Honestly you sort of really needed to start over anyway, it needed a lot of work.
 

Anyway this was all a big misunderstanding, go ahead and write your gay Nazi story, learning from the advice in this thread. 

Miz is talking to a corpse here