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I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

28 days ago
Hello! I'm Unifox and I'm here to destroy you! jk jk. I'm here writing a choose your own adventure game for my socials class. I'm doing it on the persecution of homosexuals in Nazi Germany during WW2. As a gay man with a boyfriend, I am quite interested in this subject. It was not taught to us in class so I am making a fun and somewhat educational game about it. Would it be possible to have some people play through what I have so far and tell me what you think? (I'm about halfway done) Thanks! Serious post btw, please don't report me or remove my story or anything else. I have hours of serious work on it that I don't want to lose. This project is weeks late and i need to get it done for friday. Again, SERIOUS POST, this is not a troll or meant to be anything hatefull.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

28 days ago

Just gave it a read. I'm not really sure what the writing standards are for your class, but what you have written so far... isn't great. I have a hard time believing this took hours worth of effort; there are only 810 words. You claim it's an educational game, but it doesn't seem very informative at all. If you'd like to improve your writing abilities, there are plenty of helpful articles under Help & Info. As your storygame currently stands, I don't think you'll get a good grade on it. You could also read some of the other published storygames on the site to get a feel for higher quality writing and branching.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
I should have said a couple of hours not just hours of work sry. It's not really about how well we can write, it's more about demonstrating our knowledge. copy-pasted from the assignment doc: In this assignment you must demonstrate your understanding of what you learned in either the WW1 or WW2 unit. The way you choose to present the material is up to you, and below are some suggestions and criteria to include. And I'm only about halfway done writing it, if I have time I will go back and edit it to make it better and polish it up. I'm not great at writing things, I'm in grade 10 and am close to failing English and am failing socials. Once I complete it and hand it in my grade should go up to above failing (hopefully).

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

28 days ago
I'm not sure what the standards are for your class (despite what Sherbet said I'm sure you could get a perfectly decent grade this way...definitely in high school and if in college, I've heard professors are easy to impress these days simply by the novelty of receiving anything at all that isn't plagiarized.) But he was right that it's not quite up to par for the site itself. Readers don't have any sort of outrageous demands here, but their ratings ultimately decide if a story stays up, and besides good grammar and spelling and the like, a good amount of branching, interesting characters and plenty of detail in the writing itself is expected. I'd suggest reading some of the other stories here too. Nothing says you can't really push yourself on this to go above and beyond whatever the teacher might expect to tell a really riveting story that just happens to be educational too. Either way, if you'd rather the story not be made public on the site, you can just leave it in sneak peek and share the URL with your teacher or anyone else you want to have it. That's usually what we recommend for school projects anyway.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

Basically what Mizal and Sherbert said.

You need a bit more detail in the story to make it feel more immersive. More about how horrible the camp conditions are, sadistic guards, torture descriptions, more branching, extra historical info, etc. Things like that.

The theme/content of your story is fine, it wouldn't get taken down for those reasons since we're pretty inclusive here.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/gay-prisoners-germany-wwii/

Actually I think something like this would be a much more interesting angle than just another concentration camp story. Gays didn't suffer any more than Jews and other prisoners did until AFTER the war.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

Please change your avatar before I ban you.

Edit: Oh wait, I forgot that we can purge now. 

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
What?

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

It's fine that you're gay. However, also being a furry is a no-go in my book of ethics. I only accept Brad because he likes dragons and shit, and is an all around alright person. 

However, reading your story, I’m unsure on whether or not you're a troll, or you simply have the characteristics of one.

This d20 roll thing you're crafting, at the time of this post, it would not last being published. I say this because I believe it wouldn't meet site standards of staying up. But it's free to remain unpublished, and you can give the link out to anyone you so please, until it's actually improved upon in quite a few areas.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
As ive said im not a troll. im making a legit game for my socials assignment. i have at least 4 hours of work i dont want to lose or haveto redo. i suggest watching a couple things on youtube about us. btw what exactly is your problem with us. a video by me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS5OezmrZSc&t=7s . and a professional documentary on the fandom: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv0QaTW3kEY&vl=en . please dont ban me just for being a furry you ass.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

My eyes! You're assaulting them with these videos.

I was just messing with you in regards to banning you for an avatar. CYS is way more inclusive than that to ban someone simply because they like to adorn themselves in a smelly, disgusting, fursuit. 

At least I wouldn't do such a thing. 

But I see that you're insulting me by calling me an ass. That's rather rude, as I haven't insulted you in such a manner. You're not really setting a good example for your fellow furman with such a reaction. 

However, that avatar was something on the eyes.

Phew. Well, I've said my piece. Good luck with your writing. I really do hope it turns out to be something that can be enjoyed by even one person that may find themselves reading it. 

Yeah? Okay. 

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

Yeah Thara! Educate yourself about furries, you biased bitch! I'd say this video gives a pretty good representation of the wholesome furry community. ^_^

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmULc5VANsw

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
I sure am excited for the moment this kid's teacher and entire class reads this thread.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

Well, I can say with complete certainty that CYS does not have nearly enough games about gay Nazis. Do not disappoint me. ^_^

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
Thank you!

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

Okay, here you go. 

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
Wow, what a Nazi.

Just wait for the rise of the Furred Reich, you'll get yours.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
I'm not a nazi, I'm against them. I was writing it a a school project and to bring awareness to what happened to gay men like me in nazi Germany. And now over 5 hours of work is gone

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
You're a really smart person.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

You need to back your school shit up my dude. You never know when it might get deleted by a mod on a writing site.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

Honestly you sort of really needed to start over anyway, it needed a lot of work.
 

Anyway this was all a big misunderstanding, go ahead and write your gay Nazi story, learning from the advice in this thread. 

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
What Darkspawn said and also what Endmaster said. You could maybe establish a character trait beyond 'is gay' this time for starters. Make it your goal to really impress the teacher, not just get a passing grade. Although it really is important to back up any work you care about no matter where you're writing it, and now you know.

And also if you're going to use the forum you really should try figure out who's replying to who...

Anyway, I recommend showing your teacher this thread, maybe you'll get extra credit for your struggles and the way you got persecuted, exactly like a real person put in a concentration camp.

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
Thank you all. I have found the site i used to make a choose your own adventure a few years ago. bye everyone

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
Is it Infinite Story?

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago

Miz is talking to a corpse here 

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
Ahh these threads are always entertaining to read I particularly loved when our friend here said the storygame he wrote (810 words) took him 4 or 5 hours.

By my calculations if we're assuming the first time we were given (4 hours) is true then that would be 240 minutes then if we divide 810 by 240 we get 3 words (rounding down) per minute.

So if my math is correct here then our friend is a very slow typer!

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
Maybe he's a sloth....
Dun dun dun

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
Whoops, did you mean to log in to another account there?

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
Let me guess this guy is also posting from my IP

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
I never checked, I just noticed you responding to your own post there.

Do you know anyone who wears a fursuit to zoom class?

I'm new and writing a project for my socials class

27 days ago
Happily no and for your question no I just wanted to add a extra part to my joke because this guys story is truly ridiculous