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Please go read my newly published story that ignores everything we've all been ranting and raving about to new authors for the past 700 years.

Should I go ahead and rate it a one after reading the description, or should I actually read the story first?

Read it then rate it a one.

And yes, I know, all the standards, but it was just so lonely sitting there.  

It took me awhile to figure out how to get to the end so I could get that free point.

Either die or win.....or die to get to the end.

Hope you enjoyed the five minutes of entertainment.

I didn't want to pick up the items and that slowed me down.

Your Ogre has evolved! But honestly, unless you click on your profile for the full sized image, he kind of looks like a lumpy potato.

Heh. Yeah, it is tough to get one that looks good large and small! And Ogres are supposed to be large, anyway...

Not sure what you're looking for, so I'll give you technical feedback:

The first sentence has a misplaced comma.

When I hit the monster with the sword it says "0" damage even though I did two points.

The gun does the same damage as my sword (even though the description was bloodier). Also, it's an automatic rifle but only expended one round. Didn't use the bow...

It would be better to just take me to the victory screen when the monster is dead (could use conditional links for that).

The items are useless (from what I can tell) and they don't even have descriptions... Both would be cool.

The monster was clearly too excited by our frolic. Perhaps if he put away his dong he could put up a better fight? At least he died happy (yet, thankfully, unfulfilled).

Some monster progression, rock/paper/scissor dynamics, and an end boss would actually be quite fun (even without a story)

Thanks for the idea, it was mostly just scripting practice.  The REAL stories are in the making right now :)

I'm sure your story is going to stay published for a very long time. I hope you enjoy my friendly comment on it. You have been active on this site for so long that it's no surprise you know exactly what type of story people enjoy. :)
Edit: Oh wait, the sword actually does 2 damage too. I'm sorry for that, I was lazy and didn't check properly.

This probably should've been left in sneak peek, you could've just posted the link for feedback. If it's just a demo you're planning to take down I guess you're not really stressing about the rating anyway, but, all loyal CYStians must brutally punish demo publishers to make an example of them, we don't want this kind of thing becoming the norm.

Unpublished; Didn't read.

On another note:

And if you want to write some very strange porn involving Steve, go ahead, I'm not gonna judge ... you weirdo. - Mayana

The fuck did corgi write in this thing?

Nothing to worry about, End, I was exaggerating. The monster you have to fight in the story is some thing shooting cheese raviolies everywhere and it's called Steve.

I would like to thank you all for enduring the horror of the story, and bringing it a swift end. 

An accurate portrayal of Steve circa 2017.

Wait, that monster was that Steve?! LOL

So…  that means I was fighting an actually masturbating virtual Steve in the game, while I was simultaneously fighting a mentally-masturbating real Steve in the forum? 

A part of my brain just broke. I am going back to psychiatry school immediately.

Eh, fuck off and go deal with "anxiety", like that's a problem, you useless waste of human space.

Your gesticulations are as unpleasant to watch in real life as they were in the game.

I'm not making gestures, you twat, I'm speaking. If you're going to use big words, use them correctly, you pretentious cocksucker.

Actually, you're typing.

Which is a gesture.

Um... alright, cool. Was it supposed to be me, or coincidental? I didn't have the chance to look at Corgi's stupid thing, so I don't know what was going on.

I named the jizz monster after you as an afterthought right before publishing.  All in the name of fun of course :)

Alrighty then.

Well, if you happen to be interested in seeing it I'll post the link.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eternal-combat