mizal, The Grandmaster Procrastinator
(There's nothing here right now.)
A puzzling math and logic game I made just to put some of the scripting practice I've been doing to use. Have fun and please let me know if you encounter any bugs.
Should be solvable by middle schoolers, or those with same basic level of intelligence as a middle schooler.
There are five epilogues, but some may be difficult to discover. Note that actions have consequences, but not always immediate ones. (And if you just need an End Game link, go play around with the probe.)
In addition to the scientific explanations, there's a small story dramatizing it all.
Hopefully young readers will find this fun as well as educational. :)
(Might not be the greatest story ever written, but consider this: it got me 200 points.)
Written in six hours, for no other reason than to avoid consignment to the SHAME pit after my other Romance contest entry didn't want to cooperate.
A tale told in verse. A text from your sister requesting a pick up from a party leads to a night of strangeness.
Inspired by Bucky's ballad contest. Though...I wouldn't call this a ballad. I'm not sure what I'd call it, actually, other than exceedingly stupid, and fun to write.
(Don't pay any attention to the scores, they're just for me to track which endings reviewers get.)
THE PURITY AND INTENSITY OF MY HATE IS LIKE A THOUSAND MERCILESS, UNQUENCHABLE SUNS.
AND YET, I ONLY NEED ONE...
A fairy tale adventure.
The truth is I needed to publish something before the end of the year and there is CLEARLY a burning need for wolf stories in the psyche of children using the internet. But then they write them badly, or make their wolves behave like clans of cats. So here is a simple straightfoward story of a young wolf leaving his pack in search of a better life. Maybe no one will ever feel the need to write another one now, or if nothing else maybe this will give them ideas for how to do it in slightly more minimum-standards-meeting ways.
Final conclusion however is that writing about some dumb animal with no agency is not something I'd recommend.
(DO NOT READ if you're at all easily offended or lacking in a sense of humor. There's nothing graphic at all in here, but seriously, I still cannot stress it enough, this story is not for you.)
Dedicated to the good people of COG.
Articles WrittenA List of Storygames for People Who Like to Read
CYS Forum Advice and Etiquette
Recent PostsAdding photos on mobile on 11/28/2021 9:14:08 AM
Adding photos on mobile on 11/28/2021 9:10:03 AM
Adding photos on mobile on 11/27/2021 5:52:12 PM
Bondo and Tman have a debate on 11/27/2021 3:58:52 PM
Interesting Comments 7 on 11/27/2021 10:23:24 AM
The Fateweaver - A Short Story on 11/27/2021 9:50:54 AM
There doesn’t seem to be many people patrolling or on guard on the wall at all.
I think "There don't seem to be" would be the correct way to phrase this when referring to multiple people, or at least something about this sentence feels really awkward to me. Actually it would flow better as, "There seem to be no guards patrolling the walls." which is the way you handled it in the very next sentence.
Which brings me to my next point: this all does seem to contain a lot of information being summarized, backstory and otherwise, while these characters are otherwise just standing around. So you want to streamlime everywhere you can. Here you give information about the lack of guards, then repeat that same information literally the next sentence. And the village wall and gate is described twice as well. This is all info that only needs to be established once; the second time for me really just underlined the fact that the whole story between that and the first time was just explaining the background which the characters having not actually done anything since they arrived.
Anyway, it did leave me interested in how fateweavers work, that does seem like a power that would be pretty terrifyingly OP in the hands of a sociopathic stalker. I think you might've won if you'd been in either of the duels, but then again, it doesn't hit quite as hard as a horror story. That's more difficult in fantasy where magic and evil are expected as the norm.
I will suggest though that you check out Gower's article on dialogue punctuation:
Basically: “I am sure. This is the only way to stop your pursuers.” You reply.
Should be: “I am sure. This is the only way to stop your pursuers,” you reply.
Because unlike other actions the characters might do while speaking, 'You reply.' doesn't work as a sentence on its own, it's just an attribution attached to a quote. This is probably the most common error I've seen even among writers who otherwise really know their stuff, but a good one to nip in the bud to save editing time before you go plowing into a full novel length work.
I need the history of this site, idk where to put on 11/27/2021 9:05:52 AM
Bondo and Tman have a debate on 11/27/2021 9:03:01 AM
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Bondo and Tman have a debate on 11/26/2021 5:22:09 PM
Beef with Soy: preliminary writing battle on 11/26/2021 2:14:54 PM
You have to search for edamame. (But all of these things are of course too food-like to ever grace a Dutch table, I understand your confusion.)