Player Comments on Prometheus Academy

OVERALL TAKEAWAY/QUICK REVIEW

A rough, somewhat unpolished entry that nevertheless is a fantastic story primarily for the interesting engaging world of Prometheus Academy, the fascinating and well written characters, and abundance of choices and ways the story could go, and a dark subversion of common superhero tropes to tell a different story.

LONGFORM REVIEW

Writing this review in 2025, deconstruction of superheroes as a genre is starting to become a tired and oversaturated genre, as writers, each less talented than their predecessors, keep finding more and more ways to make superheroes edgy. Far from being subversive, the genre is actually now stale and tired, with many people expressing discomfort and frustration with the repeated stories featuring superheroes who are actually edgy, without much substance or depth to them other than the fact that they like to do horrible shit to “shock the readers”. But it doesn’t shock anyone unless the style is executed well. And when we’ve seen examples of it doing poorly, like in Zack Snyder’s DC movies where he shows a fundamental lack of understanding of what makes characters like Superman great, it’s quite frustrating to watch.

However, this story was written 10 years ago, a time when stories like this weren’t as prevalent, so looking at the story from the lens of that time, it’s still a bit novel and exciting, the idea that you can take superheroes, figures who represented ideals like “truth, liberty, and justice”, and add some shades of grey to their characters was really interesting. So I was pretty excited to read the story, and to really see if Steve was able to imbue life into his characters and truly make the genre subversion work.

And by and large, he does. Prometheus Academy is a story about a school that trains killers, assassins, and general ne’er-do-wells, in a political landscape where superheroes have free reign and little to no accountability. This story really reminded me of the hit tv show, “The Boys”. The parallels between the 2 works are impossible to deny, and as someone who really enjoyed that show, I found this story to be quite the treat. Both stories open up with a loved one being murdered by a careless superhero who treats humans’ lives as collateral damage for the greater good. A-train kills Robin after being unable to control his speed, and in this story, the Crimson Cape murders 3 innocent bystanders(the main character Mia’s family) after using excessive force and a profound lack of judgement to apprehend bank robbers.

I enjoyed the parallels, and the unique take you took on the situation. This story is different from the Boys because it mainly focuses on the schooling process, as Mia Min-Taylor joins Prometheus Academy, and learns all these cool skills alongside other young operatives. At the same time, the story never loses sight of the core element that drives Mia: her desire for revenge. That underlying characteristic really makes us root for Mia as she faces a ton of obstacles during her time at the academy.

I really enjoyed how there were a lot of choices in this story. Especially in the action scenes, as I would have to think carefully before making a choice on which maneuver to deploy. This was enhanced by the main character being a scrappy underdog. I like how Mia isn’t this absolute badass right from the get-go, in fact she’s objectively not someone you would root for but she makes up for it through sheer spite and guts. The description of her injuries, “a fleshy, bloody cavern where your eye once was…burnt stump of a left arm” were chilling, and this sets up her character as someone who’s been dealt a shitty deck of cards by life. This also gives her character a special type of resilience and adaptability as she uses her trauma as fuel for her eventual vengeance.

I enjoyed all the characters, they were really well written and fleshed out. Right from the get-go, we understand Mia’s motivations, and really see her character as the gritty, tough, and spunky under-dog(obviously this eventually changes in other paths which I’ll get to later). In numerous interactions, she displays these traits. The rest of the cast is also quite fun. We have Luc, the buff love interest, Seamus the irreverent Irish asshole character with a heart of gold, and Shada, the tough badass of the group with a long scar and a burn. Of all the characters, Luc’s character could definitely stand to be more fleshed out as he’s kind of the typical “nice shy guy who’s also built like a brick shithouse”.

Moving past Mia and her friends, I also liked the characters of the various teachers and staff. Depending on which path you take, you form closer bonds with the teachers of that path. There’s Dead-Eye, Mr.DeVont , Sergeant Doyle, and Doctor Griffith

The use of profanity really adds to the dark, “Boys-esque” atmosphere of the story. The characters are irreverent and swear like a bunch of sailors. I got to admit, Mia being a teenage girl swearing like a seasoned pro took me aback for a second, but it really adds to the character and the overall feel of the story. That definitely gives the story a grounded and gritty feel. There’s also a cynical element of humor, that combined with the excessive swearing and violence, makes this story really fun. Seamus’s and Shada’s lines in particular really made me laugh. For instance, this exchange between Seamus and Shada is a perfect microcosm that shows the effectiveness of the dark humor/cynicism in the rest of the story.

"That creepy fucker would stick needles into my testes, stitch new testes to my nipples and sticking needles in them too. The dude's fucking crazy," Seamus says.

"Aw, he's probably just a big, fluffy teddy bear inside," Shada smiles. "Come on, time's wasting. Let's go find something to do."

Or these lines:

"Alright, I'll talk next," Seamus says cheerfully. "I ran drugs in Dublin. I was damn good at it, too. Well, good at the actual running. I might've picked up a few bad habits, like sampling the goods. Ran up a few debts, which that suit, DeVont, is paying off in exchange for me joining up. What's your story, off-brand Bollywood Scarface?"

"Was that supposed to offend me?" Shada smiles.

The stakes for the story feel real because you could die at any time. That was one thing I really enjoyed about this story: Prometheus Academy truly felt like an unhinged and dangerous place. There are so many ways things can go wrong, whether it be bullying the wrong kid at the lunch table and getting roasted alive by a superhero with flame powers, or making the wrong combat choice when fighting a super with acid vomit powers, it’s really dangerous to be a student here. And Steve writes some really gruesome deaths. Furthermore, I also liked how he kills off Jesus right in the start, showing that no character is safe and at any moment, you could be next. The Academy has so many kids that they’re perfectly fine to select for the cream of the crop while using the rest of the kids as merely cannon fodder.

The branching in this story was great! Basically, at a key point in the story, the story splits off into 4 directions. This is during the first selection trial to thin out the herd, after the students have received some basic training. This selection trial determines whether your character can really make it in this lifestyle, and from then on, you start learning the real skills and techniques to do some actual damage.

The paths diverge depending on the strategy you use to deal with an opponent significantly stronger than you. True to fashion and sticking with the underdog theme being developed, Mia has to fight a super with acid vomit powers as a normal with a bionic arm and enhanced speed/reflexes but no actual superpowers. Clearly she has to figure out a way to win at all costs, so there’s multiple options open to her that change the story drastically.

She can either go out with her friends, train by herself, attempt to steal an experimental serum that Doctor Griffith is working on that could turn normals into supes, or break into Dr.DeVont’s office. Each one of these paths is a gem and a masterclass in entertaining and fun storytelling, and when you read all 4 of them, you really appreciate the world Steve built. Ultimately, the paths lead to different employment outcomes, as you develop different skillsets that eventually lead you down different life paths, such as seductress/spy, combined team operative, lone assassin/contract killer for the mob, or genetic freak of nature.

WOLF PATH

My favorite path was the one where you choose to spend time with your friends because that is probably the most wholesome path in this admittedly grimdark tale. This path leads to you becoming closer to your roommates, and going down the “special ops mercenary team” employment path. In this path, each kid serves a special purpose: Luk is the muscle, Seamus is the sniper who hangs back and covers his team, Shada is an explosives expert, and Mia ends up being the swordswoman of the group who’s proficient with an electric sword. This was cool because I always loved swords, and it was awesome to wield a character. I also loved the overall dynamic and working with a team, as we had various choices in strategies that played off of various team member’s strengths and weaknesses in simulations and actual battles. I liked the tactics portion, that was really fun and well thought out by Steve! Further more, we get to see this group of motley rag-tag young noobs become an elite squad of badasses, and I loved the friendship and love dynamic between the characters. I thought that was really well written. It made the story more wholesome, because as you’ll see in the next couple paths, Mia won’t have friends and a lover to rely on, and as a result her life can take a dark turn. I loved the “WOLF” ending where the team takes down the Crimson Cape together and then goes out for drinks. It was a fantastically cathartic way to end the story on a bright and hopeful note, as Mia sets out having accomplished her mission of vengeance while making lifelong friends.

MAN PATH

The next path is probably the saddest and most depressing one. This is the one where you choose to break into Dr.Griffith’s office and steal his serum. As a result, Mia wins the fight through direct hand-to-hand combat with a supe, but the price to pay for this extraordinary strength is severe. Dr.Griffith finds out about it and takes Mia on as an apprentice, in a really twisted way. Unlike the other mentors, his teachings are deplorable. Dr.Griffith isolates Mia from her friends and the rest of the school, performs twisted experiments on her and turns her into a monster. As a result, she’s stronger and more powerful than every supe in the school combined, but at the cost of her own humanity. This path was a masterclass in writing such a despicable and twisted villain. Seriously, I genuinely hated Dr.Griffith. He’s an incredibly, cold and calculating individual, and the way he manipulates Mia was hard to read and really sad. Especially when Mia asks him about the picture of the young girl he had, who turns out to not be his daughter but a random kid whose nervous system he rewired into a car, and he prefers to work on kids because he enjoys the “sound of their screaming. It’s like birds singing to his ears.” Steve, you did a great job writing this character, Dr.Griffith is truly a standout in this story because of his supreme villainy. He shows a profound lack of sympathy for life, and the more time we spend with him, the more Mia, and by extension, the audience comes to detest him. Dr.Griffith also blackmails Mia, forcing her to do twisted things to other students under his tutelage and if she refuses, she gets expelled. Eventually, things come to a head in the final exam, where Mia loses a fight against Thara, a fire-powered supe. At this point in the story, the doctor has been steadily increasing the dosage of serum, but it’s not enough so Mia loses the fight against Thara. Then the doctor turns her into a horrible monster, a genetic freak with every other supe’s powers. But he also institutes a mind control device forcing her to agree to his every command. As a result, Mia murders all her friends and Mr.DeVont. The use of a single choice was particularly chilling. One suggestion I might give is when using the editor, click the option that makes a choice you can’t click on still visible. I feel like showing a second unclickable link would have deepened the narrative impact, because it shows that thanks to Dr.Griffith, you have no options. The MAN ending was chilling, and strangely enough, made me feel bad for the Crimson Cape. At least in the other endings, he gets killed quickly and in a just manner for the crimes he committed against Mia. But here, he’s sensely tortured by Doctor Griffith, and Mia is forced to be on the sidelines, no longer in control of her body. This line accentuates that sad fate, and was some particularly impressive writing: “The Crimson Cape saw a flicker of something behind the creature's eyes. Sadness? Satisfaction? Pity? He couldn't tell.”

SNAKE PATH

The next path follows you choosing to break into Mr.DeVont’s office. The theme of this path is “cheating”. Obviously, given that this is a school for special operatives, all skills are necessary. So I liked the inclusion of this path because it was proof you could take a more “out of the box” approach to your future and still find some measure of success. Basically, Mr.DeVont sets up an alternative method of beating the first exam, by creating a fake office solely designed for students to break into and steal info on their next opponent. I really liked how we see Mia’s character develop and she learns that not everything necessarily needs brute force or skill, trickery and more subtle/sinister approaches can also be used. This path serves as a good complement to the other paths. Of course, Dr.Griffith does blackmail Mia, so she has to do something morally reprehensible. But ultimately, she doesn’t become as evil as the full Dr.Griffith path, she’s just a bit more morally grey in this one. I found the part where she tries to seduce Dr.Griffith to be amusing, especially when it turns out he doesn’t exactly swing that way, or any way for that matter. Her experience in operating outside the rules and solving problems in a more dubious manner eventually grant her a spy job, which is really fitting. I also really like the message that there are multiple paths to success in life, and that just because you don’t succeed in one area doesn’t mean you have nothing to offer. It’s a surprisingly wholesome message that can be applied to real life(Obviously, I’m not advocating cheating. It’s more that a fish should not be judged for their tree climbing ability, for instance you may be really good with working with people, but bad at math. You could go into a sales career or work in corporate and get a job interacting with people on a daily basis. Stuff like that. Ok, random life-advice digression over, back to the review). The SNAKE ending that follows was aptly named, and well suited to Mia’s skills of deception, offering us another angle of life as a Prometheus Academy Graduate. It was remarkably anti-climactic, but at the same time cathartic because we finally got to see Mia get her revenge, even if it wasn’t as satisfying as some of the other endings where she fights the Crimson Cape.

BEAR PATH

In this path, Mia’s weapon of choice is the firearm. I like how in each path, the fighting style of choice changes, from electro sword, to killing with bare hands, to avoiding the fight entirely, to using a firearm. The choice of the weapon is also quite thematic in illustrating the characteristics that Mia starts to develop. With a firearm she stands a better chance working alone while not being completely invincible, forcing her to evolve into a hitwoman/assassin/gun-for-hire. I enjoyed the tactics in this path for the “kill the terrorist” mission, just like in the wolf path. I also liked how in the final exam, Mia is forced to temporarily improvise with a baton despite it not being her weapon of choice, because she doesn’t have a gun at hand yet. This speaks to the importance of being adaptable and making the best of your circumstances, which seems to be a pretty central theme in the entire piece. Finally, I enjoyed the “BEAR ENDING” where Mia simply shoots the Crimson Cape without any delay, fanfare, or theatrics. Compared to the other paths, it’s definitely a bit less dramatic of a death and Mia is more business-like when killing the Crimson Cape, showing the influence working in the Mob has on her. That’s what I really liked about Steve’s writing, he shows how the character changes depending on the choices she makes, and we see a clear difference in merc Mia vs superpowered monster Mia vs spy Mia vs contract killer Mia.

DRAWBACKS

In contrast to the awesome plot, interesting superpowers, good character writing, and brutal atmosphere created, the mechanical elements could use a little work as there are typos and at times, inconsistencies. Like if you use an electro sword in a fight, the game references you using a gun. And you also sometimes refer to Sergeant Doyle as “Sergeant Boyle”, which was an inconsistency. These mistakes didn’t take away from the quality of the work as a whole. If anything, the piece felt more real as a result. But it’s definitely a good idea to give it a go through and maybe tighten up some sentences, revise, and do a quick once-over before publishing, just so it’s even better.

I highly recommend this story for people who enjoyed watching the Boys. It’s a great story, and one that will leave you excited to read more of Steve’s work. Excellent work Steve, and I can't wait to read more of your stories! I totally understand why this game won the 2016 school-based stories contest, this was a well-deserved win!

Lots of typos but otherwise a fun read

pretty good killed the hero that got the folks

This was AMAZING. I cannot express any more how delightful of a read this was. My one complaint was that it is rather hard to get to the actual story bit, as i had to go thru multiple paths to get an ending that wasn't "Sheep".

ra

I’ll leave my comment short and prompt.

That was amazing. The writing was immersive and had just the right amount of lore and choices. The storyline was easy to follow yet effort had to be used in order to make choices that wouldn’t result in death. The characters were well fleshed out and the idea itself was refreshing.

Really, one of the best books I’ve read here and definitely worth a read.

I enjoyed this its old and there are a couple of spelling mistakes took me awhile to finish it ill recommend this to any one

local man gets shamed for feet fetish 10/10

I like the overall concept of the game but the set up was a little weird but overall good game awesome job!

wow i was badass

It had emotion and hardships, in most stories they will seem like they forget the bad things in the world. This story has dead families, foster homes, and well being kidnapped, but she liked it in the end! I think this is a story to be inspired by and will be remembered by me when I think nothing could get worse and things will never change, but they will!

NO NO NO I DON'T WANT TO BE CALLED EYEPATCH! ALSO, GET ME OUTTA THIS DANG HOSPITAL!

Excellent story! I've gone through pretty much all the story options — including some of the more lemony ones which I skipped over. Either way, the writing is exemplary, with very few grammatical errors (that I could see). A Sequel to this would be highly enjoyable.

It took me awhile, but when I finally got to an ending that wasn’t dying or getting my memory wiped(ending: man) it was totally worth it! Beautifully written story of blind revenge.

Ughhhhhhhhhhh I can’t get past the first “test”

i loved it!!! Please write a part two! I want to hear more about Mia after graduation, with her crew living the high life! Or her love story with Luc!

What an amazing story! I admire the love and effort placed into the story! it was captivating, action packed, romance, suspense, my stomach turned with anticipation of my choices. Very well done!

At first, I tought what the hell.. Do short. But then I figured out I kept making the wrong choice. After that I Made the right ones and I absolutly loved it! Very well written and made me think of another choice driven story I loved, namely hero project. The humor in this story was great and made me laugh out loud, mix that with a captivating storyline and I'm hooked!

That was awesome, I love all of your stories that I've played so far.

Good

Just got another happy ending! Love it!

So good! Is it weird that I like Doctor Griffith?

ended in only 4 choices, thanx (!)

I'm a motherfucking bear bitches

Certainly one of the better reads on this side.The flow was interesting and engaging.A little disappointed with the Man ending as (no good choice in a choice based game).Overall,It's a great read I must say so.This one also enthrals you enough to seek out the other endings.

7/8.Long,Interesting,Engaging.


Stalke Welsh Strikes Again.

OOOOOHHHHH THIS IS GOOODDDI HOPE IT GOT MORE< LIKE A SERIES OR SUMTHIN!

HA! I killed Micheal in the end. That was my favorite ending. (Micheal is a drunken prick who can die in the deepest, darkest, and most fiery places in Hell.) I loved the story and saw why it won the contest. I only noticed a few spelling errors. EX:
Mona is already tucked in [her] bed, [his] red, ruddy face looking up at you from under the covers.
or when you said, tot he, instead of, to the, this made me smile. Overall it was a great story and I enjoyed it a lot.

I fucking loved it

Awesome! That's all I can say.

The grammar was patchy and the errors present sometimes were a little distracting, but the story was fantastic and quite enjoyable.

no thanks

One of the best stories I have ever read! I went back and got every ending and choice and I still want more!

I got the wolf ending. The game was a bit shorter than I expected but I'm not sure if that's just my fault. Overall the game had well-developed characters, a good plot, and few grammar mistakes. I give it solid seven, which is crazy since NOTHING is better than Reeses.

This is a amazingbook, and it's very creative. My only problem with it is that it's a but annoying to have to restart from the beginning every time you die. Maybe there could be some kind of checkpoint or something?

A great Light story, you could spend a couple of hours reading looking over all the choices and by the end feel good about yourself, Good Job

Wow, I was really impressed by this story. The immersion was fantastic, the plot was enthralling, and the grammar and spelling were pretty spot-on. I always love getting to play as a female protagonist in an action game (seeing as I'm a female) and I adored Mia's character. All in all, one of the best chose your own adventure games I've ever played.

Very good. Aged it like 5 times. But to much cussing

What were you thinking???!!!! I am a child and it is to bloody!

Brilliant

I loved the game. It took awhile to play and had a lot of different choices.

Really great with really descriptive outcomes for each choice! Highly recommended!

Fantastic game with a rivoting story.

Too little choices during game, but interesting endings compensate.

better than reeses cups, not better than reeses ice cream

i liked it i thought the crimson cape was like super man nope he just can fly it seems but i really like this story

Good, but I have two complaints. One, there are not many choices; it’s more like a story than a choose your own adventure. Two, there were some grammar/spelling mistakes. Otherwise, it was really good! ;)

Does'nt getting stabbed in the neck kill you, though?

i loved the story but i wanted to kill more people with bombs or guns

This was a great story over all, good writing and grammar. Interesting characters, and interesting story.

But the ending was definitely rushed, starting with meeting Maximov. It seemed like that was just to set the characters up with a too good to be true ending where they just get everything they could ever need without doing much for it. Also I was surprised to see the epilogue right after that, I thought there was going to be more story.
While it is amusing that they just jump the Crimson Cape and fuck him up it would have been better if you set it up detailing how they found him, and maybe giving the reader some choice on taking him down.

Other than that it was a great story though. I hope you keep writing more stories.

Good game really enjoyed it, but please make a squeal it feels kinda unfinished.

great story

Awesome story

Action Packed and has the perfect balance of writing and decision making.

That was such an awesome story, I hope there will be more like this one.

Really good lots of content. Just want more available endings. Otherwise, it's amazing!

this is one of the few games i'm giving a full 8. the writing, the atmosphere, its all superb. Jesus blew himself up (i'm sure he can resurrect, he is the son of god after all) and I got to meet a tentacle monster. sounds like the beginning of a bad anime. anyway, great job. I would like to see more characters and maybe a choice of player gender. an excellent read from beginning to end

I was really upset when I didn't win the first time but then I tried again

I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I do wish it was longer, it was still pretty good.

... Fabulous. Steve is a brilliant writer!

wish it was longer

UHG it's short and there's no overall storyline SNOOZEFEST

R.I.P Jesus. This was a fantastic book. It had your mix of romance, action, blood etc. There were many swear words, and I think that you could have cut down on that but anyway it was AWESOME! I gave this the highest ranking.

I loved this so much!!

8/8
Where to start? This story is one of the best I have ever read through. Normally , even if I liked a story I wouldn't comment but people need to know how amazing this one is.

I was hooked from beginning to end , lingering on every-word. Your literacy skills are above average. At one point I got confused why there was no choices (towards the end) , only the path you wanted us to go on but even that fitted with the plot on the ending I got.

Very well put together.




Perfect score

It's a great story perfect for anyone well not really keep away from small children.

Great story

Nice story.

This was very good to be honest, the only complaint I have is the lack of meaningful choices other than that all was dandy.

Damn I lost, just like Dark Souls. Good adventure though.

Very great read. I got caught up with attaining power I became someone's pet. I can't wait to go through again and get a different ending. Great work, definitely worth playing!

I loved this game, it had lots of choice and tons of options. Some choices were also unorthodox and choices that moved along the story were not always the obvious ones. The plot was good too, and the character description was very nice. You could really get the feel of how much of a badass Mia was

Wow I survived the academy and became a monster .

I really liked the bear endings

Oh my god I got the snake ending????
Awesome game!! PLEASE make a sequel

well is just freeze my brain

PLEASE make a part 2, this was so cool, but it is too short...

Nice game man! 6/8

Very good. The only flaws were some font changes and a couple misspellings. But otherwise it was great. (I ended up dissecting Crimson Cape.)

Maybe I didn't give this game enough credit in my first review. Ever since I played this, it's been growing on me and sticking in my head.

Prometheus Academy is a story about superpowers. Specifically, a superpower school. But what could've been another, generic, Sky High clone instead turned out to be one of the best games on this site. You see, Prometheus Academy isn't a school for heroes... it's a school for villains.

You play as Mia, a young girl who had her family massacred by an explosion. An explosion that could've been prevented if the Crimson Cape, the flying brick archetype of the story, would've been the tiniest bit more careful.

After being recruited into Prometheus Academy, you get a badass cyborg arm and eye to replace the ones you lost. At this point, the game takes on a rather 'unique' school dynamic. Every student is cussing, swearing, and beating the shit out of each other in some way or another.

The game becomes very much linear at this point, which was an understandable disappointment. The story transitions into picking groups of classes, picking the choices that obviously correspond with what you would've learned in those classes, and enjoying an ending.

That's where Steve's writing shines the most, though. Each ending is thrilling in its own right. Mia doesn't feel empty or jump for joy after killing the Crimson Cape, she just feels... satisfied. Just satisfied. That's when you realize she either let go of her family a long time ago, or didn't ever love them in the first place.

Either way, Mia just wanted to get away with killing the city's greatest hero. And that, is fucking awesome.

Bravo

i really liked.. what i don't liked?
its short...
but i liked anyway ^^ :) :D
now, time to search for more storys.. ^^

That was very fun and long, I felt that there wasn't a lot of choices though, but the story was fun I got to the ????end???? hope the next story is just great if not greater that is. :D

AWESOME

Very nice, love the story, kind of abrupt, as I thought there would be more of a fight with the Crimson Cape, but nice.

Very nice game, well written if you can ignore some typos. The rhythm is good and it's an enjoyable ride.

No words...no words...

8\8
Snake

I went with the group route and accidentally created Suicide Squad. Terrific story

It was pretty cool. Despite the constant cussing, I liked it. I ended up being a swordswoman and killing Crismon Cape. Woo-hoo!

It was pretty cool. Despite the constant cussing, I liked it. I ended up being a swordswoman and killing Crismon Cape. Woo-hoo!

Very good game, though my path as a gunslinging gangster was pretty shortlived :(. Beside that i loved how you had a lot of choices and was not forced into any BIG situations you did not like. So at the end my character was really represenitive of what i like and even though that particular storyline was short, it was still satisfying.

Good game, but how was Mia able to kill the Crimson Cape with two revolvers? You made it clear several times that Michael had super strength in addition to his flight ability, and he can't be strong enough to ram into a van if he's not durable enough to be shot by a bullet.

overall good game, although this little fact really annoyed me!

-Charaxes

I loved it

God dayum! That was great! Your stories just keep getting better and better! Keep the ideas flowing!

woah. That was... amazing.
Really Good storyline with lots of choices. I loved playing it.

The story was great. I like how each character had their own unique personality that is easily identifiable between them. The plot was quite interesting and I enjoyed the environment that was around. The writing was alright except for a few typos here and there but nothing to devastating. However, I did feel there was a lack of variety in the choices you could make. It felt very linear to me in that there was only one choice that would make you win the game. In addition, I felt the ending was kind of anti-climactic, brushed over and rushed. Don't get me wrong, the ending was fitting for your character and satisfying (don't want to give away spoilers) but it just was very disappointing considering everything that had led up to it. Overall, I enjoyed the story and had a great time going through it. It kept my attention and I was engaged until the very end. I give this game a 6/8. Pretty solid!

It could have stood to have more variety for choices. In most cases it was "make the right decisions or lose".

However that's my only complaint. The characters were likeable, the plot was enjoyable, and the ending was satisfying. You also didn't try to bite off more than you could chew. Well done.

It's very good but with a bit more variety it could be great. I feel like if the story went more in depth on her backstory and her parents and that Crimson Cape guy etc etc, this story could really improve. A few typing errors not much variety for choices, in the way that in the end I think you either be a mobster or not, though I'm unsure. But the writing was pretty good and the humour was there so I'll give it a 6/8.

great story a few typos but there not so frequent or horrible that effects the story all that much

This is an amazing storygame. It is probably one of the few that I will reread. Great job.

Awesome!!

This was a great story with plenty of humor and distinct characters. The dialogue was spot-on; the description just enough. Well done.

Great game. Got the sheep ending. Will go back for more, since there's obviously more to the game.

Ha ha, I got the Bear Ending as well. This is a great game. It'll make this category significantly less bland.

Heh, wouldn't hurt you to do some typo editing, but the story was fun. Nicely done, Steve.

Bear Ending.

Steve, this is the worst story on the site and you should definitely, definitely withdraw it from the contest.

Maybe replace it with something about talking cats instead. You still have about 40 hours. I believe in you.

That took me less than three minutes. It was cool though.

Most likely going to be one of my favorites.

For a sci-fi story, I'd give this a 7/8. As it stands, I gave it a 7/8.

However, there was a certain spark missing to the story. It didn't feel very... school-like. It felt like a fuckfest of monstrosity which was, obviously, conveyed very well.

My problem is with Mia, mainly. She doesn't make any friends, even if they're referred to as such. She doesn't shine with particular motivation, and always came across as kind of dopey and out of it.

Still a great story though.