Ragna in wonderland

Well the game wasn't bad, but if you wanted to avoid saying "hell" couldn't you have just said "heck" instead of writing "he**" all the time?

I dissaprove.

Seth.

Even if I had known these characters, it would still be hard to understand the plot.

cool

This story's decent; its grammar needs work and clumped-together paragraphs make it tough to read, but the plot's fair and your love for the BlazBlue characters shines through, especially in your use of Alice in Wonderland archetypes for some characters, and character relationships. Besides what I already mentioned, I think this story could have been improved by adding more pictures. I'm a bit of a BlazBlue fan, insofar as I know most of the characters on sight, and I had no idea who the Mad Hatter was until I got to the king's castle, and even then, I'm...still not sure. Besides, Carl's the one with the nicest hat, so it SO should've been him. I also think that you should make some of the pictures smaller so that they look better on the story window, and that you should give the player more paths to choose from in Wonderland, rather than just a couple of main routes, one of which just leads to the other route.

Decent story but I wish it wasn't so linear.

I thought It was great for a first try. Get some experience under your belt before you dive into your next story though. Read from the masters 3J and End. The long paragraphs bugged me though. I dislike reading giant blobs of text.

Nice use of pictures and a decent adaption of the subject to a CYOA story. I’d suggest breaking up some of your larger paragraphs though, as they do get a bit hard to read in the middle. Overall, not too bad =)

I didn't; but other may enjoy it.
Its seriously very descent.