The Amazing Adventures of Potatoman!

good

Man, it's looking like this story's gonna end up with a rating lower than 3, which is kinda sad because I think it was entertaining. It was stupid and random in the good kinda way. Branching was good, story was goofy albeit almost non-existent, and I got a good chuckle out of the surrealness of it all. Also a random RPG fight thrown in there? And some meta stuff? I'm an absolute simp for meta stuff.

That said, it was of course short and poorly written, and didn't really have any unique ideas to speak of. But hey, it kept my attention for a while, so that must count for something!

General Thoughts: This story is incredibly faced paced and makes very little sense.
More nitpicks thoughts:
“Buy-bye” always means death, and in some cases (such as the first page) it doesn’t really tell you what the choice you are making actually is. I’d suggest changing the link name in the editor to something like “go back to sleep” or anything that tells you what the action that the link signifies is. Also make it less obvious that it’s gonna kill you.
It has a comic book vibe in playthrough, with the very little text and fast, action packed plot. However, if you were gonna make a comic book, there should’ve been pictures. Seeing as there aren’t any pictures, the most descriptive you get is “(so big!)”. Fleshing out the text some, especially adding some imagery or descriptive details will not only improve the quality of the experience for the reader, but might also slow down the tone so they don’t feel like a squirrel on Ritalin.
There’s a little creativity displayed here, and it was funny. The villain’s name was very descriptive, and I’m on the fence as to if that’s a good or a bad thing.
Overall, not awful. It’s really not. I laughed a couple of times, even.

Eh, this is almost amusing.

The grammar - punctuation and sentence structure. Is terrible. Perhaps sentence fragments; should be used as a superpower. Or at least a weapon. because they kept assaulting, my eyes.

The idea is fun, however, and I like the idea of a superhero with a weird goofy power. The concept definitely has potential, but could use a bit more development. Many times LOLrandom stories lack direction and purpose, but what I liked was that there were narrative goals from the start with randomness thrown in.

Branching was OK for a short storygame.

Overall, for an LOLrandom story this has some promise, but needs a bit of work.

That was a waste of time

That's MR. Potatoman to you!

All I wanted was to collect a bunch of potatoes :(


In all seriousness though, this was pretty amusing. The grammar was absolutely horrid, the story was pretty much held together with spit and duct tape, the difficulty and maturity level are far too high, and I was disappointed that you couldn't BS your way through it, but I liked it nonetheless. I might even go through it a few more times.

I like the idea but the execution is quite lacking imo. Terrible grammar and punctuation, broken links leading to deaths that don't make sense, and the presentation is just bad overall.

This could have been more. Not like, Eternal level, but it could have been quite a fun little lolrandom game. It's certainly got the foundation for it, especially with the meta stuff and the secret fight at the end.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

I loved the hidden riddles, but there are no trees on globes.


Good:

The game gets (slightly) better as it goes on, especially in the hidden endings.


Bad:

A lot of different deaths linked to the same death page in which how the death page text said I died wasn't how I died.

I was more amused by this than I expected to be.