Player Comments on The Gauntlet

Synopsis:
After being captured by a cruel country, you are forced to survive in a monster-infested sewage system. Fight everything from blood-eagles to huge toads, taking new items with you as you progress, in this free-roam dungeon crawl.

Positives:
-There is a lot of branching in the narrative, almost everything I did split the story in new and interesting ways.
-The idea of a country called Tyrannica is so fucking funny to me. Just imagine an evil ruler calling their country ‘Eviland’ or ‘Badplace’. This isn’t really an issue, setting the tone for the rest of the story, as it doesn't seem to take itself too seriously (which was good! This was such a fun read).
-Foreshadowing is fun: you use it well. The fact my sword and shield are heavy and cannot be quickly carried impacting my fate later on was pretty cool. I only wish there was more of it: maybe the lairs of the monsters have distinctive sounds or smells or something so I know what I might be facing in battle.

Things to improve:
-You use the adjective ‘enormous’ so much. It’s fine at first, but once you notice it becomes such a banal way to describe things. It also fails to set up scale: almost all monsters are ‘enormous’, even though they differ in dimensions considerably.
-Adverbs are used almost obsessively. Again, this isn’t a bad thing, but looking at it critically it almost clutters the prose. Perhaps eliminating some of these adverbs would be beneficial.
-On the ‘you throw the gold in your pockets’ ending, there is no end game or reset link. Annoying, especially since this was the last path I had to go through.
-There are several small spelling mistakes. I’m not writing them all out but:
1) On the ‘And what? Find out!’ Page, you misspell ‘sweet’ as ‘sweey’.
2) On the ‘long tunnel page you write ‘several minute’ instead of several minutes.
-Some of the endings are a little lacklustre. Especially the ones where I die. I just get told ‘you got eaten’. It would’ve been way cooler if there was some description here, even if it was only short. Also, confusingly, if I take the lower fang or upper fang when I kill the snake, even though the outcome is the same (it is slain), my ending is drastically different. In one I become a king (cool I guess) and in the other I’m a god (arguably a bit better). How did either of these things happen?

More than anything I think this is a testament to how the telling of tales has changed on the site. Written while I was still a kid, it’s kind of like looking through an ancient artefact and then comparing it to the modern equivalent. If you want a sense of perspective this might be the CYOA for you.

This is an interesting start to the story. I’m not really sure how there is a dungeon built entirely out of steel. Well, I could see that if we were in some futuristic setting where people can make lots of steel and have time to build such things, but I get more of a feeling that we are in a medieval setting, and I’m not sure how they would manage to make an entire dungeon out of steel! But anyway… wait, I’m in a dungeon as a captive, but I still have my sword and shield? I guess they don’t really get a lot of captives around these parts. But hey, at least I have three choices on my first page: I can pick any of three doors that are too heavy for me to open…then why am I picking one?

I did appreciate the different options that were available in the story. I really liked that I could make choices that affected the story, even if there were a lot of different ways to die in this story. It was still fun exploring the dungeon and going back to try different options each time. The story was light-hearted more than it was a serious story, but that’s what made it fun. Thank you for sharing the story with the site.

Wow, this was pretty engaging, and this had the right amount of choices for this storygame to be quite enjoyable. This really reminded of a classic dungeon game, in which the player is quite vulnerable as they attempt their best to brave the dangers of a difficult situation of the sort that was presented in this very storygame :)

I felt quite a sense of accomplishment when I finally escaped at the end of this. I must say that this was a keenly written adventure and it has definitely earned my praise. Very impressive, indeed.

I thought this was a waste of time.

Good job, 5/8. I think I read every page in this story, and it was all pretty good. The April Fool was especially funny.

it was good

very hard

Use the right door, take the spear kill the toad and shield yourself!!!

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS VERY BORING AND IT IS A DEAD GAME. STAY AWAY UNLESS YOU ARE A BIG NEEK!!!!!!!!!

verry good, although it took many tries to succeed and survive

it was really good but can you explain how i got there in the first place bruh

GOOD

i loved this game so much it was very fun and entertaining i hope you have a good day

good job

"The Gauntlet" is an interesting and entertaining bit of writing, but it had some rather major issues.

The biggest problem was this one page where the reader is required to choose based off a past choice. Te link descriptions say not to choose the wrong one.
Now this is something that annoys me a lot. It's just so lazy. If the author used a variable or even just copied and pasted some stuff, it would have been so much better.

The writing was generally decent though, although it could have used a proofreading, and the action scenes were fun. I don't normally like a lot of short, one-link pages, but in this case they were often humorous and used to build suspense.

Still, that unnecessary and lazy noobishness put a bad taste in my mouth.

EDIT: Additionally, there is a dead end page with no link. Yes, that is a big problem.

"The Gauntlet" is an interesting and entertaining bit of writing, but it had some rather major issues.

The biggest problem was this one page where the reader is required to choose based off a past choice. Te link descriptions say not to choose the wrong one.
Now this is something that annoys me a lot. It's just so lazy. If the author used a variable or even just copied and pasted some stuff, it would have been so much better.

The writing was generally decent though, although it could have used a proofreading, and the action scenes were fun. I don't normally like a lot of short, one-link pages, but in this case they were often humorous and used to build suspense.

Still, that unnecessary and lazy noobishness put a bad taste in my mouth.

There’s tons of room in the writing to include better descriptors. I do enjoy the premise though. It’s simple, but has a rich backstory. The backstory itself is not too long or detailed, but you get the “Spark Notes” version. The history of the main character is set, so you have an idea of who you’re playing as and why you are in the dungeon. The Gauntlet is a fitting name as you’re running through a dungeon which is exactly that.

Some things that stuck out to me:

-The word “enormous” is repeated in the first few sentences. “Country” is repeated like 5 sentences in a row on the first page as well.

-The writing seems abbreviated and shallow. It doesn’t go much deeper besides “You go here” and “You do this”.

-It gives off sort of a Dark Souls vibe. The suspense of running through a dungeon without knowing what’s waiting for you is a thrill.

It’s a very base-level storygame. It was posted in 2005 and I bet the author could recreate a better game now (2019). That being said, a published game is a published game and I would have liked to seen more depth, branching, and development. I’ve definitely seen a lot worse games be published, but this one had the potential to be something greater. The majority of it is randomly selecting an action and getting lucky if that was the correct link. Reaching the end didn’t feel like much of an accomplishment. On the positive side, I didn’t feel like it was a waste of time.

it was really good,and i think you coukd add other descriptions

Thank you, it was good, I died, I got squished

this was ok but, there was alot of writing and im not smart so it wold be better for smart people

not the best game some bugs because i got killed by my own tool

its rlly good took me 3 tries

little more fun then home work(:

it was alright to much writing though maybe shorten down the wrighting

Ehhh not the best, could be longer

Very good job!

Needs pictures and a better story line

very good ending

it was good but short and it didnt fully make sence to me i think you should do more of these, they could be diffrent styles and good for diffrent ages because my brother and sister like doing things like this and i would want to show them but they are a bit grown up for them so mabey do them for younger ages. bye :3

Awesome did t on my first try u should do more

interesting but too short

Respect is the key in this game, just like in life. Honor others and use fairly earned resources and you will do just fine.

No real story, just basic decisions with sarcastic deaths. It was fun, but not very fulfilling. I did the first ending. Perhaps you can consider this a comical story.

Yeah this was very good

Okay, the first page almost instantly repelled me. "Left, Right, Middle" links usually make readers think of the beginning of a maze, which in storygames, most people hate. Also, i noticed a lot of "Yes/No, Left/Right" links, which are really basic.

A little more development of the plot/characters/setting would be nice. The story itself is decent and could be worked on, but still a fairly nice standalone story.

Good story!

I died twice.

Made it out alive, went back home, and became king! Guess that means I got the best ending? Fun short story. Lots of spelling and grammar issues though. Not too bad since this was one of your first stories at the time, I just hope you've expanded your vocabulary since writing this. The word of the day is ENORMOUS!

Great game

Enlightened by this story to respect the dead.

Quite fun. I found three endings, for those who are wondering
1. You escape
2. You escape and go home
3. You escape and go home and become king/hero

cool

Oh I win..that's cool...this game was nice..I guess..

Easy but interesting

way too short and linear, but this being your first story/game you made at the time, i guess it's okay

Short and sweet!

It was a short and fun story with a little humour here and there.

Interesting . . . short and has a lot of potential though. I would love to see the author really work on this to develop a really nice, FUNderful adventure!

Nice!

A bit short but overall a good story!

Lame....sorry, too short, too easy....no challenge

pretty fun

How did this get a 6/8 difficulty rating, or a 5/8 play length? I finished the game in under 10 minutes, and was bored within 5. I hope the second one is better.

Very well written and exciting! Excellent :)

Bit too linear but fine overall.

Great writing, engaging story and good amount of choices

...Good!

Amusing.

Pretty good game! I hope you add some more!

Cool nice job. Now i can play the second one and know what happened!

pretty good.

Fun but short :)

As with most fantasy games, I'm not entirely sure what happened, but I still enjoyed it.

Not bad. I'm a little confused though. If you're a prisoner trying to escape Tyrranica you never explained how the heck you managed to keep your sword and shield.

A nice fun read with interesting choices. Is there a way to favorite certain stories? I'd like to come back to it again some time and try another door. I had chose the middle door btw and got a happy ending. Thanks for the story.

Short, but fun! I like it!

Fun :D Going to go play the second one now~

that was lucky, i won the first try

It was good, but Vengeance is better.

A nice game to fill spare time.

Best storygame I've played yet. Face it: you rock.

Good Job!

None of it makes sense... None at all. "The potion increased your strength, not your ability to jump." Yet your ability to jump is determined by the strength of your legs, and how much force they can push you with. And your shield doesn't float, but the giant stone statue does... And how can you smash a stone statue with super strength but not break your hand? you would break it even without super strength, I would be surprised if you had a hand left at all with extra pressure. One more thing. If you throw the shield, it would knock the statue backwards, with the momentum of the throw, not forward into the river.

It was a very good game.However you could put more description of the characters.

It is a bit unique, an interresting role play.

Pretty good.

Impeccable writing!
Great job!
All it needed was a way to prohibit cheating using variables like alot of the other games.

Mhe is what i say about this game.

6/8

Too short, but a good game.

I played the game again so I could have a chance to win.

Impressive. Most impressive. But you're not a Jedi yet...

This is the first one I have won :D

An awesome game. Easily a six for me. Well done.

Lots of imaginative ways to die!

Great game!

Excellent game! Very well written, great descriptions, good choices. Different endings! I won in what I consider the best way, though I won't spoil it. Superb job.

I wonder why this is not featured...

Great game!

I love it. It have a lot of links and every thing that I like in a game. I love this game. Nice work.

I got the third and final ending for me anyway. They were all great, but I like the first one the most, the one that would seem to lead to a sequel what with the war thing and becoming the leader. ;)

Played through it again, yep just more greatness. This time I got (what I will call for me) the second ending, now to go and get the third and then play the second. Good job badger, you should make a third one. ;)

This is a really great game, 8/8. I got the best ending apparently. Now to get the others.

niah, it was good but...

really, really good. it was hard, too. TO THE SECOND ONE!

This game is good.

It was ok, badger: youre my favorite author but compared to vengeance, this was merely, ok... 7/10

WOEW!! THAT WASS AWESOMEL!! YURE SO CULE!!

this is a cool gamr amd i know this person so it seams tipacali of him expctc more good things from him

found one dead link, (gold in pockets). lol, that ending was just as good. I'm a true hero.

wow, for a first game this is pretty darn good. It could use a touch up (the spear thing could be an object if u figure out the advanced editor, and some pics would bring the story together nicely) but it's non linear, it's well written, and it was fun to play. Congrats. Waiting for the next game.

Nice dungeon adventure. Make a sequal about escaping back to home base and a third chapter about how he saves the slaves or takes over the country and give back all the slaves. :):):)

Hey, everyone! This is my first game on this website, so I'd appreciate comments! Is this a good game? Could I have made it better? Should I make a sequel?

yep, played it again. still love it. nice flow, straight forward story. you keep it simple yet informative. write about the war next time. I want to see more of this story.

ok, i died with the shield thing so i didnt get far but i gotta say one thing. GREAT WORK! This has got to be the best start to a game that ive read in a long time. The description was great. You put the reader right into the story. This was great. Keep it up.

this game was made by my brother! Ain't it awesome? I liked the car chase. Just kidding. By! I think I'm the first one to play.