In Night of the Firefly Festival you play a young fairydragon named Beryl (can be a boy or girl) and the object is to help prepare for your villages celebration. There will be many paths possible as you can go off to explore the forest and valley around the village instead and that will be dangerous with all the less friendly creatures around.
This is my first storygame and it's based on a story I wrote with my sister. It's going to be a huge story with lots to do and I'm learning to script so that the game will keep track of everything you do
Any thoughts or questions on this.
This is a very good and bad thing.
Starting with the good, this is a story that you seem passionate about, and you at least have some ground work. The idea itself sounds quite grounded, and manageable for a first storygame.
Though that brings me to the bad. I can say with about a 90 precent certainty that this will not be finished or be scaled down significantly. Why? Because while the idea may be grounded, let me break down what you are doing
Can be boy or girl, can be accomplished with scripting, shouldn't be too much extra work
Your talking about many paths, and while that is quite vauge, what you are describing sounds like tons upon tons. In a story where paths don't rejoin, the game become exponentially longer and harder to write
Huge story with lots to do. See what I wrote above
Track everything you do. Okay, so you are going to write a ton of complex script, while also having to learn how it works from the ground up.
These are all giant issues with this game. Not that they are bad for the game, they are bad for the author. While these things make the game better, with this being your first story, it is hard to see you finishing all of this to the scale you have described.
Forgive me for being so negative, but we have a lot of new people come in with these giant games, and what happened 99 percent of the time is they burn out almost immediately and quit the site. I would advise you to scale this down, for risk of it not being finished.
Instead of doing the huge story to start with, what about doing a smaller story set in the same world? E.g. tell the story of how Beryl came to the village, or just have Beryl exploring one set of ruins with some friends.
Not that I follow my own advice; my first storygame will probably be huge (it's already over 26,000 words.) But, part of the reason I am (mostly) confident I can finish it by the end of October is that most of my branches do rejoin in a lesser amount of options periodically, and I am writing it over on Infinite Story where I do not have to worry about learning a new scripting language at the same time. I've boiled my plot down to five key sections, and might chop it to four if needed.
Even still, things can get really overwhelming with how fast things branch!
A fairydragon is a D&D thing. It's kind of like Lar, actually. Except--and brace yourself--it's a faerie dragon.
Fairies are borderline, but faeries are right out. It's just too much. And this is coming from a guy whose academic specialty is The Faerie Queene.
Are they cute and sparkly with gossamer wings, and call themselves "fae"?
They eat plants and they have round faces, not giant ugly ones. They look like this:
Fairydragons are the same size as the fire lizards in the Pern books, or even smaller. They're intelligent and peaceful and most of them can use magic by the time they're adults that they use to defend the village with. There houses are big enclosed bird nests they make out of twigs (there are real birds that do this) and they hang them from trees. They live in a valley that no humans except for magic users have ever found, with lots of other magical creatures.
Mizal asked if I was still working on this, and yes I am, I just had my computer taken away for no reason and could only use the big one for homework.
I've decided I will make it scarier and publish it before Halloween.
Oh wow, you're gonna be mad.
Hear that everyone?
I love your energy~
Yes, yes...use your anger, you cunt
Sigh, before you get trampled by the impending mob that smells "Anastasia" blood in the water, I'd advise you to not take things so personally. Of course, since I've just explained something you probably think you already understand, this is a good way to practice not getting mad. Do it with me now... breathe in.... breathe out...
I would chill, people here are generally honest and helpful. Honesty hurts if it is not what you want to hear, but such is life. I wish I had gotten the advise Ogre11 gave you before I published my first story. People here will ruthlessly tear your storygame apart if it is not well written and polished, even if you know how to write.
I thought my first two games were amazing, but are about average for this site (one is a 3, the other a 4). I really wish I had done one differently, but to be honest writing here is different from writing elsewhere and I didn't know that despite being very smart. I learned a lot from what I perceived, at first, to be rude insults to me. If you think this is bad my first attempt at writing a game went like this:
No one is saying you can't do something or you are dumb. Although since this is the internet, and since you told them how to piss you off, now a few will. I would listen to their advise tho. Long story short I think my writing improved 1000% since taking the suggestions seriously, and not taking the criticism as a personal attack.
No one said not to or that you can't. I read it as "it is going to be more work than you think it is. You may end up scaling it down for your first one because you described a massive storygame."
I think you can do a good job with it! What they are saying is true though, every choice you give people creates more storylines. I recommend maybe planning out a few branches and adding more once you have those complete. It may also be a good idea to just pick a gender and go with it. Your character can be stronger that way; you wouldn't have to worry about being gender-neutral or whatever.
That being said there was not much info about the world or the story. If I understand correctly you either go to the festival, or fight ferocious creatures in the woods around the festival. I guess my questions would be:
If you wanted questions about the world I recommend describing the world a bit more, the only question I can think to ask is "what is the world like?"
I also would just remind you that we are all writing stories and reading them. A lot of people with a large amount of published games are probably more focused on their own stories. If you have a question, or a specific thing you want to discuss, I am open! I am probably not going to ask questions just to figure out what you are writing tho. I would prefer to read the game once released then ask every question I can think of. If you started the game throw up a link with preview on! I will read it.
Wish you the best of luck! I will look forward to reading it.
It is good that you didn't take it personally, seeing as the initial responses wouldn't know anything about your capabilities, and so when they see a story described as "going to be a huge story", it makes sense to caution the writer about the risks of biting off more than they can chew.
Now, could they have worded it better so it didn't come across as 'negative'? Perhaps, but the thing to note is that 'too big a scope' is a very common problem, and one found among more than just "stupid little kids".
In the future, a potential way to avoid people making assumptions could be offering more detail in the initial post. Being broad in the Writing Workshop will invite more general responses/advice, and being aware of a story's scope is very much general (and common) advice. I think people went into more detail than they usually do about it, which I thought was actually nice to see.
Anyway, if you make it clear that you are aware of what 'huge' entails, I imagine that while people might have still mentioned it, it would have been worded a bit differently. Regardless, looking forward to your huge story, I wonder if it'll beat out Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival) (if you hover over the length number, it'll tell you how many words it is).
As for Kurio, you'll notice that they only came in after your response of calling people negative, where you diminished writing to a very simple "type words to describe what happens". Is calling people stupid or trying to make them mad good? Perhaps not, but 'brutal honesty' is very much a part of the site atmosphere, and so Kurio's strong response to your statement isn't inherently bad, as it is likely 'honest' at the very least. Sure, it might not be very productive, as it is unlikely to make you change your mind (unless it leads to some introspection or something, but that won't happen if you don't take it personally), but again, the underlying emotion is honest.
Lurking a little to see how people interact in different threads might help with getting a better feel for the site atmosphere. I find it is rather unique compared to a good deal of other sites, and so I can understand it not being to some people's tastes, but I do believe there is value to be had in it. Obviously though, you don't want it affecting you in some highly negative way, but a part of that will come down to how you take what people say. Even cruelly worded stuff can contain value, such as: learn to spell idiot. Assuming there is something wrong with the spelling, aiming to work on it is the value, the idiot less so for some people. Context does matter though.
Anyway, the tone in your response also wasn't very diplomatic, which definitely wouldn't have encouraged Kurio to take on a nicer tone. If anything, the strong tone would have potentially aimed to show you that the initial responses were actually pretty nice (comparatively at least).
The thread is unlikely to be deleted, as useful posts have been made which can help people. Again, scope is important. Those posts might not help you, which obviously sucks as you made the thread, but keeping in mind that anyone can read the thread should help in understanding why it can be worth keeping around.
If you look at the top right of the first post, there should be an unwatch button, you can use it to not get notifications for when people post in this thread. Alternatively, you can just not respond to people who do. Both ways will stop you from needing to argue with people, do whatever works for you.
Regardless of all that, hopefully you keep writing. Ambitious stories are at more chance of failure, but they can, and do, succeed, and when they do, it is always amazing.
I wish you success with your writing endeavors! And remember what they say, actions speak louder than words!
LOL this was all for science.
That's great! How is it coming along?
Amazing, what's the word count?