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Toss around ideas and brainstorm your story.

My storygame

3 months ago

In Night of the Firefly Festival you play a young fairydragon named Beryl (can be a boy or girl) and the object is to help prepare for your villages celebration. There will be many paths possible as you can go off to explore the forest and valley around the village instead and that will be dangerous with all the less friendly creatures around.

This is my first storygame and it's based on a story I wrote with my sister. It's going to be a huge story with lots to do and I'm learning to script so that the game will keep track of everything you do 

Any thoughts or questions on this.

 

My storygame

3 months ago

This is a very good and bad thing.

Starting with the good, this is a story that you seem passionate about, and you at least have some ground work. The idea itself sounds quite grounded, and manageable for a first storygame.

Though that brings me to the bad. I can say with about a 90 precent certainty that this will not be finished or be scaled down significantly. Why? Because while the idea may be grounded, let me break down what you are doing

Can be boy or girl, can be accomplished with scripting, shouldn't be too much extra work

Your talking about many paths, and while that is quite vauge, what you are describing sounds like tons upon tons. In a story where paths don't rejoin, the game become exponentially longer and harder to write

Huge story with lots to do. See what I wrote above

Track everything you do. Okay, so you are going to write a ton of complex script, while also having to learn how it works from the ground up.

 

These are all giant issues with this game. Not that they are bad for the game, they are bad for the author. While these things make the game better, with this being your first story, it is hard to see you finishing all of this to the scale you have described.

Forgive me for being so negative, but we have a lot of new people come in with these giant games, and what happened 99 percent of the time is they burn out almost immediately and quit the site. I would advise you to scale this down, for risk of it not being finished.

My storygame

3 months ago

Instead of doing the huge story to start with, what about doing a smaller story set in the same world? E.g. tell the story of how Beryl came to the village, or just have Beryl exploring one set of ruins with some friends.

Not that I follow my own advice; my first storygame will probably be huge (it's already over 26,000 words.) But, part of the reason I am (mostly) confident I can finish it by the end of October is that most of my branches do rejoin in a lesser amount of options periodically, and I am writing it over on Infinite Story where I do not have to worry about learning a new scripting language at the same time. I've boiled my plot down to five key sections, and might chop it to four if needed.

Even still, things can get really overwhelming with how fast things branch!

My storygame

3 months ago
Question: wth is a fairydragon?

Thought: *village's celebration

There's always room here for a nice wholesome children's game, we don't have too many. "A huge story with lots to do" is pretty vague though, and as it's been said, these can easily get away from you. You're going to want to plan out carefully what your paths will be. It'd be a good idea to read a few other stories on the site to get an idea of what goes over well with other readers as far as quality, page length, choice structure etc.

If you have any trouble with scripting make sure to ask on the Advanced Editor board.

My storygame

3 months ago

A fairydragon is a D&D thing.  It's kind of like Lar, actually.  Except--and brace yourself--it's a faerie dragon.

 

My storygame

3 months ago
I may be a person with a 25k WIP about fairies, but even I have my limits.

My storygame

3 months ago

Fairies are borderline, but faeries are right out.  It's just too much.  And this is coming from a guy whose academic specialty is The Faerie Queene.

My storygame

3 months ago
.....my story also has Faeries.

They sound almost the same but they're totally different. Faerie is pronounced with a capital letter, for one.

My storygame

3 months ago

Are they cute and sparkly with gossamer wings, and call themselves "fae"?

My storygame

3 months ago
I see you trying to tempt me into writing four thousand words about my settings, but I'm at work right now and won't be taking the bait.


Fairies are cute and sparkly with gossamer wings. Faeries are human sized and more like powerful wizards....

....sparkly wizards, with wings.

They reproduce through magical mitosis. Previous generations were closer to gods, but you see, many years ago, not long after the world was created but before there was a Sun....wait, shit, I'm doing it. Shut up, leave me alone.

My storygame

3 months ago

They eat plants and they have round faces, not giant ugly ones. They look like this:

Fairydragons are the same size as the fire lizards in the Pern books, or even smaller. They're intelligent and peaceful and most of them can use magic by the time they're adults that they use to defend the village with.  There houses are big enclosed bird nests they make out of twigs (there are real birds that do this) and they hang them from trees. They live in a valley that no humans except for magic users have ever found, with lots of other magical creatures.  

My storygame

3 months ago
Okay, I have to ask:

Do you play Flight Rising?

My storygame

3 months ago
My account there is SimpleLife. But I don't accept random friend requests so make sure to say who you are.

My storygame

3 months ago

Mizal asked if I was still working on this, and yes I am, I just had my computer taken away for no reason and could only use the big one for homework.

I've decided I will make it scarier and publish it before Halloween.

 

My storygame

3 months ago
Commended by mizal on 10/1/2019 5:27:54 PM
Based on this statement, and others you've posted, I'm thinking you're taking on a bit more than you realize. The standards of many people who read stories on this site are very, very high: in fact for many much higher than the ability of the majority of writers on this site. I guess that's a nice way of saying, "Be careful because people will read what you publish." No, I'm serious. If you're just writing a story for yourself, that's completely fine. If you want to write it for you and one other person, you can do that as well. To do that, just put the story on sneak peek mode and do not publish the story. Then you can enjoy the story and you can provide the link to the story for anyone who you want to read it. However, if you publish it, you will be explicitly inviting every person on this site and the Internet not just to read your story, but to provide you feedback on your story. Be prepared because no matter how good you write, there are going to be people who hate your story, your writing style, the words you use, the ideas you have, the characters you create, and so on and so on. Sure, there will be people that will be helpful and provide assistance, but not everyone will. That's not to say that you shouldn't try if this is something you want to do, I'm just trying to prepare you for the reality of publishing a story to the world. I mention all this because I'm guessing that this will be your first story. I'm guessing that you haven't written hundreds of thousands of words. I'm guessing that you don't have a plan for various paths through your story. I'm guessing that you don't have an idea of what traditional structure your CYOA will take. In fact, I'd guess you can't tell me 10 things about your protaganist; nor could you summarize the entire story in less than three sentences. These are all really important parts of writing a CYOA, especially on this site. I'm guessing you have an idea and maybe a few hundred words. That's a great start, but that's only a start. So, if you'd like to write the story and not publish it, great, go ahead. If you want to write the story and publish it, be prepared for feedback. On the other hand, if you're still exploring this story, I'd suggest that you might want to try and plan it more, even here in the forums, with others. Many people here are glad to help you. You could publish a plan or idea and others could help you see if you're missing parts. You could publish paragraphs and people could review them to let you know what they think of just the paragraph or two. You can create characters and let others ask questions about them so that you can decide the answers. You can describe and learn about structures of CYOAs and ask others how they have worked with them to help you guide your decision making process. Writing a story can certainly and easily be done in a few weeks. Writing a good CYOA story with meaning and character development is an entirely different effort and can be difficult for new writers. So take your time. Read other stories here. Explore. Ask questions. And yes, please do write! Hope that helps.

My storygame

3 months ago
I wasn't going to say anything, but it's been very rude how negative you all have been. I know most of you are trying to help but you don't have to treat me like I'm stupid. I read the articles on scripting ages ago when I made my account. I just did scripts today and made them work perfectly. And I KNOW how to write. I've written lots of stories. You type words to describe what happens, it's not that hard. Stop acting like I can't do anything because you're about to make me really mad.

My storygame

3 months ago

Oh wow, you're gonna be mad.

Hear that everyone?

My storygame

3 months ago
To put it bluntly, if "you type words to describe what happens" is your idea of how to write a story, you ARE stupid.

My storygame

3 months ago
How are you trying to tell me about writing when both of your storygames are blank?

My storygame

3 months ago
You know what, fuck all of you. Mizal was right. I don't need to put up with any of you, I'm going to finish my game while you're all still sitting here saying whatever stupid crap you want. You can't do anything but angrily type either.

My storygame

3 months ago
There are two words which would be a perfect reply to this, but unfortunately I can't say them.

Come back to me when you've finished your game so I can laugh at how terrible it is.

My storygame

3 months ago
I wish I could say the same thing back at you, but you're not even writing anything so I'll never get to laugh at it.

My storygame

3 months ago
This is much better, good job.

My storygame

3 months ago
But--but we've only just met! D:

My storygame

3 months ago

I love your energy~

My storygame

3 months ago

Yes, yes...use your anger, you cunt 
 

(Imperial cackling)

My storygame

3 months ago
Did you really mean to say 'fuck ALL of you' or just say that to Kurio though?

Like two guys showed up to point and laugh once you started complaining, and they weren't even any of the ones that wrote up all the nice advice earlier that you found so very rude.

I think you can see now too that if people here REALLY think you're stupid, they'll just call you stupid. You were projecting a bit in the lame whiny rant before that.

My storygame

3 months ago
Okay fine just fuck RealKuriosIasoun then. I'm sorry about everyone else but I just didn't like how negative they were being. But he called me stupid and said he's waiting for me to finish my game just so he can laugh at how terrible it is, he's an ugly jerk and I hate him. This is a writing site and he just shows up to insult and be negative at me.

My storygame

3 months ago

F, Kurio

My storygame

3 months ago

My storygame

3 months ago
...the same as yours?

I'm not trying to tell you about writing, I'm making it clear about how fucking retarded that statement is. You got plenty of advice, and you ignored it and called the people who took the time to give you it rude.

My storygame

3 months ago

Sigh, before you get trampled by the impending mob that smells "Anastasia" blood in the water, I'd advise you to not take things so personally.  Of course, since I've just explained something you probably think you already understand, this is a good way to practice not getting mad.  Do it with me now... breathe in.... breathe out...

My storygame

3 months ago
Meh. 3/8 rant.

If you were going to do this you should've dedicated yourself and ranted a lot harder. I already told you it was okay to say fuck, I'm not sure what more you want from me.

It's also generally a bad idea to inform people of how mad you're ABOUT to make them, as if it's some kind of threat. As if you have the power to do anything but type angrily or leave while crying.

Anyway, as I told you earlier, it's not anything personal. We have just seen a LOT of noobs come and go and they all make the same mistakes. But if you're different, by all means feel free to prove it.

My storygame

3 months ago

I would chill, people here are generally honest and helpful. Honesty hurts if it is not what you want to hear, but such is life. I wish I had gotten the advise Ogre11 gave you before I published my first story. People here will ruthlessly tear your storygame apart if it is not well written and polished, even if you know how to write.

I thought my first two games were amazing, but are about average for this site (one is a 3, the other a 4). I really wish I had done one differently, but to be honest writing here is different from writing elsewhere and I didn't know that despite being very smart. I learned a lot from what I perceived, at first, to be rude insults to me. If you think this is bad my first attempt at writing a game went like this:

  • I said I would finish a game for a contest by XX date
  • I did not know that there was a minimum page requirement (even though I read the articles about minimum story requirements for this site)
  • My story had very few--very long--pages and could not be published on XX date due to that (despite being complete)
  • I was flamed in the forum post for the contest, put on a list called "the pit of shame," and called a fucktard (minus 100 points for that title by the way)
  • I eventually released the story after just separating a few of the pages into 3 or 4 pages, and maybe adding two more original ones
  • The storygame got an average rating, and the comments on it pointed out every mistake I made: including stuff I did intentionally and thought was good
  • I got 50 points for being "less of a fucktard"

No one is saying you can't do something or you are dumb. Although since this is the internet, and since you told them how to piss you off, now a few will. I would listen to their advise tho. Long story short I think my writing improved 1000% since taking the suggestions seriously, and not taking the criticism as a personal attack.

 

My storygame

3 months ago
I never took it as a personal attack, I just think it's stupid and weird that a writer comes here to talk about a new story and everyone is ohhh nooo don't do it, don't even try, you can't do it. Maybe you get a lot of stupid little kids here like Mizal said but how is that encouraging to anybody? I could have talked about the story or the world its in but nobody asked before telling me not to write it. And now there are people here just being jerks and trying to make me mad and I wish I hadn't even made this. Can a mod just delete this thread please? I don't want to argue about this anymore and I'll just make a new one when the story is done.

My storygame

3 months ago

No one said not to or that you can't. I read it as "it is going to be more work than you think it is. You may end up scaling it down for your first one because you described a massive storygame."

I think you can do a good job with it! What they are saying is true though, every choice you give people creates more storylines. I recommend maybe planning out a few branches and adding more once you have those complete. It may also be a good idea to just pick a gender and go with it. Your character can be stronger that way; you wouldn't have to worry about being gender-neutral or whatever.

That being said there was not much info about the world or the story. If I understand correctly you either go to the festival, or fight ferocious creatures in the woods around the festival. I guess my questions would be:

  • What is the draw of the storyline at the festival? Does something happen? Do the creatures attack the festival if you do not go hunt them? 
  • If you go explore the woods is there any point to it? Are you saving the town from the monsters? Do you find a damsel in distress? 
  • What type of story is this (other than a fantasy)? Is it an adventure, mystery, romance, or action? Does it change depending on the path?

If you wanted questions about the world I recommend describing the world a bit more, the only question I can think to ask is "what is the world like?"

I also would just remind you that we are all writing stories and reading them. A lot of people with a large amount of published games are probably more focused on their own stories. If you have a question, or a specific thing you want to discuss, I am open! I am probably not going to ask questions just to figure out what you are writing tho. I would prefer to read the game once released then ask every question I can think of. If you started the game throw up a link with preview on! I will read it.

My storygame

3 months ago
1) If you stay in the village you can go around and meet some of the other dragons and help set up for the festival, or just play games with your friends until the celebration at night. Something does happen then but it's a spoiler. 2) You can go out in the woods for a lot of reasons, and it can be dangerous if you go to certain areas. The best ending will be hard to get, so you'll have to explore and you'll probably die a lot figuring it out. 3.) It changes if you pick different choices, but there will be a witch as the main enemy so there can be horror. I can't be on the computer any more after this tonight and I'm not going to post in the thread anymore. I'm not mad, I just want to finish the story before talking about it again since there are some people who aren't going to believe me until it's done, and then there are other people just posting stupid crap to distract me. I'll make a new thread later for testing the story before I publish it.

My storygame

3 months ago

Wish you the best of luck! I will look forward to reading it.

My storygame

3 months ago

It is good that you didn't take it personally, seeing as the initial responses wouldn't know anything about your capabilities, and so when they see a story described as "going to be a huge story", it makes sense to caution the writer about the risks of biting off more than they can chew.

Now, could they have worded it better so it didn't come across as 'negative'? Perhaps, but the thing to note is that 'too big a scope' is a very common problem, and one found among more than just "stupid little kids".

In the future, a potential way to avoid people making assumptions could be offering more detail in the initial post. Being broad in the Writing Workshop will invite more general responses/advice, and being aware of a story's scope is very much general (and common) advice. I think people went into more detail than they usually do about it, which I thought was actually nice to see.

Anyway, if you make it clear that you are aware of what 'huge' entails, I imagine that while people might have still mentioned it, it would have been worded a bit differently. Regardless, looking forward to your huge story, I wonder if it'll beat out Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival) (if you hover over the length number, it'll tell you how many words it is).


As for Kurio, you'll notice that they only came in after your response of calling people negative, where you diminished writing to a very simple "type words to describe what happens". Is calling people stupid or trying to make them mad good? Perhaps not, but 'brutal honesty' is very much a part of the site atmosphere, and so Kurio's strong response to your statement isn't inherently bad, as it is likely 'honest' at the very least. Sure, it might not be very productive, as it is unlikely to make you change your mind (unless it leads to some introspection or something, but that won't happen if you don't take it personally), but again, the underlying emotion is honest.

Lurking a little to see how people interact in different threads might help with getting a better feel for the site atmosphere. I find it is rather unique compared to a good deal of other sites, and so I can understand it not being to some people's tastes, but I do believe there is value to be had in it. Obviously though, you don't want it affecting you in some highly negative way, but a part of that will come down to how you take what people say. Even cruelly worded stuff can contain value, such as: learn to spell idiot. Assuming there is something wrong with the spelling, aiming to work on it is the value, the idiot less so for some people. Context does matter though.

Anyway, the tone in your response also wasn't very diplomatic, which definitely wouldn't have encouraged Kurio to take on a nicer tone. If anything, the strong tone would have potentially aimed to show you that the initial responses were actually pretty nice (comparatively at least).


The thread is unlikely to be deleted, as useful posts have been made which can help people. Again, scope is important. Those posts might not help you, which obviously sucks as you made the thread, but keeping in mind that anyone can read the thread should help in understanding why it can be worth keeping around.

If you look at the top right of the first post, there should be an unwatch button, you can use it to not get notifications for when people post in this thread. Alternatively, you can just not respond to people who do. Both ways will stop you from needing to argue with people, do whatever works for you.


Regardless of all that, hopefully you keep writing. Ambitious stories are at more chance of failure, but they can, and do, succeed, and when they do, it is always amazing.

I wish you success with your writing endeavors! And remember what they say, actions speak louder than words!

My storygame

3 months ago
Yeah I'm not deleting this, there are heartfelt essays by many autists here and this may be a good thread to point future noobs at instead of everyone repeating themselves.

Wildblue, cringing at past threads you made is a natural part of the CYS experience. If you think it's bad now, just wait till lying come back to read it again in five years!

My storygame

3 months ago
I have to say, if we get a decent story out of this, it's going to provide a lot of evidence for my theory of SPITE as one of the most powerful motivators for productivity.

My storygame

3 months ago

LOL this was all for science.

My storygame

3 months ago
I'm still writing this, but I'm going to work on it longer because I'm entering it in the Best of 2019 contest.

I've been busier now too because I'm writing stories for a magazine my English teacher is making.

My storygame

3 months ago

That's great!  How is it coming along?

My storygame

3 months ago

Amazing, what's the word count?