Hmm, that's weird. Chris Chan is trending on twitter, of all people. Shit, that brings back memories. It's been years since he did anything interesting. So, what's he done now? Pepper sprayed another innocent game shop employee? Had another meltdown at a comic convention? Let me just check on kiwi farms and...
... Oh God... No... No, no, no! Sweet baby Jesus, please no! Definitely no! This can't be real! No way... I mean screenshots can be faked, right? ... Oh... Audio proof too? ... Oh God, my eyes! My ears! Please, for the love of all that is good and holy on earth, no!
... ... ... Ahem. I apologize for the outburst. Please completely disregard everything I've said. Absolutely nothing note worthy has happened. I highly advise you not to try and look anything up, as I assure you, you will find absolutely nothing of interest. Please, have a nice day.