Excerpt from my current project's Optional Lore Database titled "Where the Fuck am I!?"
Why, you're on Cystia, a magical island nation that you've lived on for quite a while. All manner of creatures inhabit this enchanted land, and some of them are just fucking stupid, but that's a story for another link... The most well-known inhabitants are quite an eclectic cast of mostly dudes who bandy about the land having misadventures with varying degrees of chaos and destruction of public property. The most active citizens have all committed at least one murder and/or aggravated assault over the course of their derailment tangents, and many are often scared into hiding. Cystia is divided into ten provinces.
The Newbie Harbor: Founded by early settlers from the Viking Clan of Papadimoullis, their chieftan, Alex the first, named this land so because the natives were total N00bs who practically ran straight into their spears. Newbies have been immigrating (and emigrating, some more loudly than others) ever since then, and it has long been a Cystia tradition to tease and/or befriend the living shit out of all the N00bs who make their presence known there.
Louton: Just south of the harbor is a thriving trade-based city, where the most diverse varieties of batshit insane history has gone down over the centuries. Seriously, the majority of the shit that goes on in this story is based on shit that happened here. (It was also probably wiped from the history books by a certain hammer-wielding wizard penguin, but trust me, I only speak the truth!) Remember to always try and speak intelligently around these parts, strange things should only come around naturally, and they only stay around if they're both hilarious and relevant.
The Newsrealm: Once in every great while, one of the political leaders of Cystia will announce shit here from the top of the News and Updates building. It's very important to listen, but nobody actually enters its wide open plains for more than a week after the leaders are done yelling at everyone from the top of the building. At all other times, it's a largely empty place.
The Library Strip: The vast majority of Cystia's populace are writers. In fact, one's entire pay grade is based on the amount of good Choose-Your-Own-Adventure stories someone has written. You just so happen to be vaguely psychically linked to an amazing and handsome narrator named Sentinel who writes stories for you. This narrator, to be exact. In this town, people head to a magical library or some shit to read and tell their stories, but the library is silent, save for a few thousand comments. In public, you'll only ever hear people talking about or advertising their work. Stories are an integral part of the Asswipe Equation, which is used to measure the hypothetical length and performance of one's penis. "Science" has once and for all proved this ancient superstition wrong, but it's still fun to point out to other people who have lower numbers than you. The equation goes something like this, although multiple forms exist and the knowledge of which one is actually "correct" has been lost to time, since none of it was correct anyway.
(([number of user's exp points] * 2) + ([user's post count]^[the amount of published stories user has])) * [how many trophies user has] = MINE IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!
Gamia: South of The Library Strip is a massive field of ruins inhabitted mostly by traditional nomads and shamans. It is known for having Dungeons and Dragons conventions, LARP festivals (and occassionally genuine warfare) constantly. At one point, it was a massive hub for battling, but the leaders of Cystia soon grew tired of the noise and raised the prices of armor and weapons considerably. Now if you want to start LARPing, you'd better have a fucking good reason. And a rulebook to back it up!
The Mountains: South of Gamia is a retreat for writers who feel the need to visit a monastery for the sake of finishing or improving their work. Luckily, there are no vows of silence among the monks and sages that provide advice... Nor any vows to reduce profanity... Nothing is really sacred in Cystia, now that I think about it.
Downton: South of the Mountains is a smaller town with more small-time libraries. Everyone here seems to take a special interest in and/or always talk about the books imported to Cystia from around the world. Since Cystia is a civilization of geeks, you're likely to find at least one book you've never heard of before somewhere around there...
The Mage's Commons: South of Downton is a place where people go to ask about the magic of scriptwriting, with which they can bend the very fabric of Cystia's reality in small, convenient ways. Script magic is a very frustrating and potentially dangerous process, and as such, most people prefer using normal magic to sort-of-almost-bend the fabric of Cystia's reality.
The Temples of Papadimoullis: These are places where Cystians come to pray to the planarly ascended Viking Lord and Scripting Spirit, Alex the 2nd, who rules the island with a fairly even (and fairly absent) hand. If a Cystian has a really good idea for something to add to the site, they can head to the temple's wishing well, throw in their two cents, and Alex may answer their prayers by magically terraforming the earth to accomodate the feature they've prayed for. If a Cystian has a particular grievance when the island doesn't seem to work properly (Jesus Christ, I'm stretching this metaphor for the sake of the story as far as it'll go...) they can pray for Alex to fix that, and if it's possible, he will.
If you were too lazy to read any of that, you can visit the places I've just described by clicking this link and learning everything I just said firsthand. <Insert Link here later because the fucking editor resets every time I open the page>
