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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
Hey! I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! I had to make a new thread since all the threads here are way of topic =.= So let's celebrate with food, hugs, gifts, more food and let's not forget the Christmas prompts! :D

First prompt : Pretend that you are one of Santa's elves and go through life

I changed this one up a bit. This one leaves a lot of room for thought, for example, you could make Santa a deranged maniac who gives gifts to the bad kids, and the elf is a good guy trying to escape, or the other way around. Or maybe the elf is a freaky psychopath who became sucked into helping Santa and he/she's not okay with it. So he/she tries to escape and goes to take revenge on the person/elf who forced him/her to be there. I'm sorry, I'm in the mood to write dark stories XD

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago

Okay.

Childhood: I'm an Elf that hits Trans Wolverine's mom with a cookie tray every Christmas 

Teens: I'm an Elf that hits Trans Wolverine's mom with decorative soaps every Christmas

Adulthood: I'm an Elf that slaps Trans Wolverine's mom with a hanger every Christmas 

End Years: I'm an Elf that's a bigwig now, so I send other elves to do those three things every year to Trans Wolverine's mom every Christmas.

Happy Kwanzaa!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
The heck Thara?! Ok, I'm sending my elves over lol

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
Does your family celebrate Christmas, Fem? Just curious since you mentioned you were in India.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
Well, me and my family are atheists, so we don't go all out and celebrate it. No offense to anyone who does, please don't take it personally. But we do do the usual stuff, aka eating cake, wishing each other, and just generally having a good time. :D

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago

I am proselytizing atheist as well, though I feel compelled to observe the ancient rites of Hausblotan to keep the old gods from coming back in the dark time between the years. (i.e. don't need nobody's son as a pretense for gifts)

Merry Whatever :)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
"I'm in the mood to write dark stories"

Well, you know what to do, right?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
Yep!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
Happy Christmas and I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year and that your 2021 is a lot better than 2020 (which shouldn't be too difficult barring alien invasions as 2020 set the bar pretty low).

If I were one of Santa's elves I'd escape the North Pole, reveal the existence of Santa to the world, write a tell all and do the tour of talk and reality shows before probably developing a gambling habit, drug addiction and Charlie Sheening it up with Las Vegas ladies. To cap it all I'd probably discover God, renounce my former ways and return to the toy factory in North Pole and resume my former labours a poorer but wiser Elf, occasionally doing amateur pantomimes of The Hobbit with my fellow supernatural creatures. Probably how it'd go down.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
Now that I think about it....Yes, that's probably true XD

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
Yep, I think this is going to be the one time everyone is a lot more excited about New Year's than Christmas. Not that 2020 has been all that bad for me personally, but it'll be nice to get past all this. (even though I'm not getting my hopes up for too much improvement on the covid situation unfortunately, there are other things to look forward to.)

Anyhow, Merry Christmas to all, even if things are a bit weird this year.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago

Strange, this letter was mailed to me by mistake. I'll post it here for you:


Dear FemaleWolverine,

I'm the elf-accountant that charges parents for all of the toys Santa brings two days after Christmas. That's why your bank account magically empties this time of year. Also, I collect the royalties from Coca-cola. 

Fun fact, the modern day Santa outfit was designed by Coca-cola as a marketing ploy for those commercials where Santa drinks a coke. It caught on and Santa has worn a red and white (their company colors) suit ever since. We charge a hefty amount up here for that kind of brand-loyalty.

On a related note, if you want to be on the nice-list next year, please send me 1,000$ and your parent's credit card info.

Thanks,

The Elf on a Shelf

 

More seriously, merry Christmas everyone!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
lol thanks, but no thanks And Merry Christmas to you too! :D

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
What's everybody's Christmas plans?

I'm just going to my brother's again, same as Thanksgiving except this time we're eating enchiladas and I have to bring offerings to my niece. Thankfully my family has gotten much more chill about holidays in recent years and we only give gifts to the kids now and dodge the big extended family events full of loud annoying rednecks entirely, makes everything much less stressful.

Since we're eating pretty early in the afternoon I plan to spend the evening watching cheesy old musicals:



Although hopefully I get around to Diehard sometime this weekend as I've taken Saturday off work. It's tradition.

And right now since I woke up wide awake at 1am, I guess I will get the cooking for tomorrow done in advance and then write. Or, "write", whichever.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago

I don't have much plans because I'm a huge lonely faggot, I'm likely just going to stay at home for the day and jerk off to MLP porn. The streets are mostly empty though, so I could go outside for an hour or two and hope a random truck hits me and ends my pathetic existence.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago
Well that's depressing. You must be in one of those countries that keeps you prisoner in your apartment.

Well I hope your 'going outside...maybe...' Christmas adventure is full of holiday cheer.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago

Thanks.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
I'm about to do laundry and change my car oil and the filter.

edit: both tasks were completed successfully.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

9 months ago

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago

I had enchiladas. They were pretty good.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
I'm glad, but it would be difficult to find enchiladas that are bad. I'm having some later and it's been too long.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago

Hi Glad I'm Tim

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
Ho ho ho.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
Some zoomer in the Discord was like 'eww they peaked in 2012, a year after I was born' but the Pentatonix Christmas album is still great btw. I just respect the hell out of any group that can do music a cappella, that seems insanely difficult.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
Definitely. Pentatonix pumps out bangers after bangers every year. As someone who’s loosely interested in music and a cappella stuff, I can confirm there is a lot that goes into making all the pieces come together in music like that, especially on the difficulty of music Pentatonix is doing.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
Cheers~

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago

merry christmas you big bird. I hope santa has brought you an even bigger banhammer 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago

I see Brad must've done his coding voodoo to this thread.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
I jumped when I first clicked in.
But damn, that's nice

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
The effect was really cute! Thanks!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago

Merry Christmas! 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
Just realized I haven't even said a "Merry Christmas", after spending half an hour hitting those balls around.

With that said, Merry Christmas All :)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
Whoa.

Just realized you could speed them up with touch and hold. Let me go see what a mouse can do...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago

You can make them bounce away when your mouse gets near one.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
Incredible.

@killa_robot I would like this feature in every thread. Chop chop.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
Wait up, that would practically cripple my CYS mobile experience, as anything with those floaty HTML elements are blocked :(

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago

(Credit goes to John Julius Norwich, edited slightly to make me an elf.) ^_^

 

25th December:

Dear Santa,

That partridge, in that lovely little pear tree! What an adorable, enchanting, poetic present! Bless you and thank you.

Your faithful elf, Jolly.

 

26th December:

Dear Santa,

The two turtle doves arrived this morning and are cooing away in the pear tree as I write. I'm so touched and grateful.

With undying devotion, as always, Jolly.

 

27th December:

Dear Santa,

You do thinks of the most original presents: whoever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It's a pity that we have no chicken coops, but I expect we'll find some. Thank you, anyway, they're lovely.

Your eternally grateful elf, Jolly.

 

28th December:

Dear Santa,

What a surprise - four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly - they make telephoning impossible. But I expect they'll calm down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, I'm very grateful - of course I am.

Lots of love from Jolly.

 

29th December:

Dear Santa,

The post-elf has just delivered five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger, and all fitting perfectly. A really lovely present - lovelier in a way than birds, which do take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived yesterday are still making a terrible row, and I'm afraid none of use got much sleep last night. Mama Elf says she wants us to use the rings to 'wring' their necks - she's only joking, I think; though I know what she means. But I love the rings. Bless you.

Your most devoted elf, Jolly.

 

30th December:

Dear Santa,

Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn't six socking great geese laying eggs all over the doorstep. Frankly, I rather hoped you had stopped sending me birds - we have no room for them and they have already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but - let's call a halt, shall we?

Love, Jolly.

 

31st December:

Santa,

I thought I said no more birds; but this morning I woke up to find no less than seven swans all trying to get into our tiny goldfish pond. I'd rather not thinks what happened to the goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds - to say nothing of what they leave behind them. Please, please STOP.

Your elf Jolly.

 

1st January:

Frankly, I think I prefer the birds. What am I to do with eight milkmaids - AND their cows? Is this some kind of a joke? If so, I'm afraid I don't find it very amusing.

Jolly.

 

2nd January:

Look here Santa, this has gone far enough. You say you're sending me nine ladies dancing; all I can say is that judging from the way they dance, they're certainly not ladies. The elf village just isn't accustomed to seeing a regiment of shameless hussies with nothing on but their lipstick cavorting round the toy factory - and it's Mama Elf and I who get blamed. If you value your elves loyalty - which I do less and less - kindly stop this ridiculous behaviour at once.

Jolly.

 

3rd January:

As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are prancing abour all over what used to be the garden - before the geese and the swans and the cows got at it; and several of them, I notice, are taking inexcusable liberties with the milkmaids. Meanwhile the other elves are trying to have us evicted. This is a clear case of harassment of an employee and I won't stand for it anymore!

Jolly.

 

4th January:

This is the last straw. You know I detest bagpipes. The toy factory has now become something between a menagerie and a madhouse and an elf from the Council has just declared it an unsafe work environment and cancelled all toy production. At least Mama Elf has been spared this last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance. If your goal was to drive your poor faithful elf out of his job so that you could give that promotion to your lazy nephew Jim then you succeeded. Consider this my formal resignation. I hope you're satisfied.

Your former employee, Jolly.

 

5th January:

Sir,

Our client, Jolly the Elf, instructs me to inform you that with the arrival on his premises a half-past seven this morning of the entire percussion section of the North Pole Philharmonic Orchestra, he has no course left open to him but to seek an injunction to prevent your importuning him further. I am making arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock.

I am, Sir, Yours faithfully, G.TINKER Elf-at-law.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
Lol, I'd never heard of the original. Funny stuff.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
This almost makes the original war crime of a song worth while. Almost.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
I don't normally play with balls, but when I do, they're Christmas balls on a web page.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago

Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing. ^_^

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

8 months ago
The smaller ones are moving faster XD