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THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
Here's what I know:

Israel is a tiny country in the middle east with the ocean to one side of it and people who hate Israel to the other side of it. It has 3 cities but only one matters: the big one in the middle. The big one in the middle has a lot of holy land for both the jews and the people who dont like jews. These two factions fight over the 3 primary holy objects/places: a rock, a grave, and a patch of ground where jesus died.

Nobody knows much about the rock, but they suspect it is where jesus's grandfather, adam (the first human), was born. There's something under the rock but they won't say what. The grave allegedly belongs to abraham (jesus's uncle, well known for talking to bushes and writing 10 laws with no sublaws or ammendments). Abraham was important somewhere in the bible, which is what the jew faction considers its laws. The not-jew faction has a different bible which was plagiarized from the jews with only the names of characters changed. Anyway, the third holy thing is a bit of dirt where jesus was killed by romans - surprisingly not in rome. All three of these things are in one area that both sides do not want to be destroyed because then they would have to get normal jobs instead of fighting.

A lot of fighting went on in the past and at some point the jew faction, which currently controls Israel, invented the Uzi. Which Chuck Norris used two of to defend America in a documentary titled Invasion U.S.A. Since then, Israel has produced a soda revitalizer device which adds bubbles to flat soda, making it sent-proof. These two products constitute the only notable material items to come from Israel. They have a very high GDP thanks to these items.

Despite being ruled by god, they define themselves as a democractic place and have entertaining people on their parliament including communists, trannies, hardcore gas-the-arabs people, apocalyptic doom preachers who want to trigger messy age groups, and everything in between. Despite their vast differences, they are all jews who agree that they don't like hummus.

The people who don't like the jew faction banded up in the past and lost against them, so now they have culture festivals on the daily where they shoot rockets and stuff into Israel for fun. But some of the not-jews still harbor animosity towards the jews in general for existing. These brown nazis are generally incels who post things on imgur defending the not-jews and their actions against the jew faction.

It's universally agreed that both of these factions are NEETs and the best way to deal with them is to destroy all the holy things with nuclear fission so that they have nothing left to fight over and can begin producing better soda streamers with more robust o-rings and uzi's for american gangsters.

It's of note that most not-jews have nothing better to do with their time, while is-jews could probably do something more useful for the world like make more guns or home kitchen products. Despite this, a lot of home kitchen products were made in brown nazi territory and yet they do not have a very good GDP compared to Israel. This is because, again, they plagiarized the is-jews.

Both sides have a majority of apathetic citizens who would not mind if nuclear fission were used in an uncontrolled manner to destroy all the holy things so that they too can one day afford a soda streamer. Despite this majority on both sides, the conflict is unlikely to end or die down because of past fighting and, as many americans in comments sections across the internet would suggest, social justice issues in america.

Some of the is-jews are still mad that the not-jews made copyright infringement on their laws and holy book, despite never being there to witness the original plagiarization or confirm that it ever happened. The religious side of both Israel and the not-Israel is content with never knowing if something ever happened. They will worship a rock, wall, building, or other inanimate object/concept equally if a general consensus is met by the communist trannies in their parliament that it is related in some way to jesus.

This is the truth of Israel.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

the way fords mind works is literally incredible 

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
thanks

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
Some of this sounds familiar, so I'll take this as a hopeful sign his brain can retain some scattered fragments of information in recognizeable form even after the alchemy occurs.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

I'm taking credit for teaching Ford that Jews made uzis.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

SMH. Listen Ford, you can't go around spouting dishonest disinformation like this!

Just because Israel developed the Uzi doesn't mean it didn't develop any other weapons! The Galil, Tavor, and Negev are all popular firearms that were also developed by Israel. You can't reduce their accomplishments to only creating the most popular submachine gun of all time! Everything else about your post is on point though.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

knowing what guns are manufactured in what country is the most zero pussy knowledge you can have 

why don't u go manufacture yourself a gf lmaoo 

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

I only looked it up for this reply so the joke's on you.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
Okay but why don't you look up some bitches?

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

I don't live in Nevada lol

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
Okay but why don't you move to Nevada?

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

Shit you got me there. BRB, moving to Nevada.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
I hear the bio-holes in San Fran are real looky looky.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

Okay but you should really move your ass off your homie's dick first

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

Pretty sure Wizzy's already dead. You just dug him up to basically torment his corpse.

Still funny stuff though.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

Think we need Aman to return to tell us about these soda streamers.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

Aman and his brother Tan just up and disappeared one day, it was like they suddenly became secret Mossad agents.

I think Aman still posts on BHB occasionally and I remember getting a PM from him a few years ago, but that's about it.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
I'd like to see more of him and his mustache. Iconic member from my era.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
https://sodastream.com/

The sodastream is simply put the greatest product ever invented and a clear sign of God's divine favor for Israel.

I'm excited now that I see the magic carbonation bottles are fairly cheap once again as long as you take part in their recycling program.

There was a magical time when it first came out and Walmart was pushing it as a Christmas gift and everyone I knew had one and life was good and we had FREEDOM to make any kind of soda we wanted, but then it became a center of controversy and boycotting because some Harvard queers hated that a factory in Israel was giving Palestinians and Scarlett Johansson a decent job. And after that for awhile you could only get the CO2 refills for close to the price of a brand new machine. (In America. EUROPE had a different kind of nozzle on theirs meaning they could get other brands of CO2 canisters to work, curse them.)

But it seems those dark days are over and I can make fresh squeezed carbonated limeade again very soon.

This product exists only to spread joy and do it yourself soda fizz to the world. Only those in league with Satan such as fanatical Muslims and Tumblr users (and Sentinel) can be against the right to freedom of soda given by God to all his children.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

Enjoy getting sprayed with carbonated water when your nozzle doesn't connect properly 

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
Please keep your weird sex stories out of the thread.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
LOL~

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago
I lost it at culture festivals

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

I like learning new things. ^_^

THE TRUTH ABOUT ISRAEL

one month ago

Israel is a tiny country... for now.