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Does anybody have any suggestions as to methods of progression I could use for this part of Letters To A Loved One? I'm not asking for storyline ideas, just for suggestions on methods I could use to progress this:

 

"Hey Marine, don't you know we've got a schedule to follow?" Sergeant Moretti is pacing around, and constantly checking his watch.

 

"Easy there, Blue," The Marine lieutenant chuckles, "they're making room so that we can put the Bibles in the Enterprise. They're saving us some trouble, be grateful."

 

"Oh yeah," Moretti freezes, "an Aircraft Carrier isn't very subt..."

 

Sergeant Moretti's voice is drowned out as a couple of fighter jets fly low overhead. He ducks and you look up startled.

 

"Lieutenant aren't those a bit big to be Navy planes," You rush over to the lieutenant's side so he can hear you over the noise.

 

The marine scampers over to a Coast Guard captain, and after a few moments he gestures for you and the other officers to get on the patrol boat.

I'm not sure what you mean by progression, I'm not sure what's going on in this scene, and I'm not sure why soldiers are loading enough bibles to take up any significant amount of room anywhere, or why there's even bibles.

It's supposed to be a combination of the original 3 Left Behind movies, Red Dawn, and the Blue Bloods TV series. By progression I mean what should I focus on, the antagonistic action, the protagonists' action? 

Basically, it's the start of a Bible smuggling operation, involving NYPD and Some Navy and Coast Guard protagonists and so far Air Force antagonists.

1. I'm not exactly sure what's going on in the scene, so I really have no idea. Are the planes enemy planes? Either way, seeing as I imagine we'll be playing as the protagonists, you kind of have to focus on them.

2. I genuinely have no idea what you mean by any of the descriptors. Is it supposed to be satirical, or are you actually going for people being forced to smuggle Bibles? From what I know, one of those three is a Cop Serial TV series, one's a Christian propaganda piece and one's a Cold War propaganda piece. I have no idea how one could combine those.

No, they're smuggling them willingly. The Gov't they're fighting is against anything that they can't control. If you're a homosexual who doesn't comply with gov't registries or protests any gov't instituted promotions of heterosexual activity that hurt the homosexual community, they'll prosecute you. Same whether you're a Christian, atheist, etc. I'm going for a gov't that the world can band against (or perhaps the three kings, but I'm not going to start explaining the Bible for the Mods' sake.) The Air Force fighters that are present are  government controlled therefore they're the antagonists of course.

Why would you smuggle Bibles?

To save people's eternal souls, Malk! Haven't you heard? Secularist Governments are pushing religion out of schools! Soon, it'll be pushing it out of the country, and eventually owning a Bible will be as illegal as owning the Anarchist's Cookbook.

Not exactly, although as soon as S of C and S happens in the US...

What does that even mean?

Separation of Church and State. I don't have to elaborate further do I? I don't know the Mods or anyone else here well enough to know the accepted limits on discussion of politics and religion.

Yeah, please do elaborate further, I have no idea what you're on about. Endmaster will no doubt be cool with this.

Oh, my sweet summer child. Considering as we've had actual Nazis on the site you're probably good. Most aren't going to take kindly to your opinion, though.

Also Canada has a separated church and state and we're allowed to read the Bible. :-)

No, I meant as soon as it's broken. Many atheists claim that SCS is too keep religion out of gov't. But you can't really do that can you? Religion isn't limited to theism (as Hinduism proves). I, as many other Conservative Christians (that I know of), believe that it was instituted to keep gov't from controlling your religious views.

Hinduism is theistic. Also, separation of church and state means that government stays out of religion as much as vice versa. That's kind of the point.

Hindu's (or at least some of them) believe that as long as you faithfully practice whatever faith or nonfaith you follow, you will be enlightened.

As soon as the Gov't supports a religion that religion tends to become a special interest group. So aren't they controlling each other?

No, they don't. Hinduism believes in many Gods that you should worship. Whatever you're talking about isn't Hinduism.

Also, what do you mean when the Seperation of Church and State occurs? It's been on going for as long as America was around.

Hmm, well I can say that I could be wrong then.

As to SCS, I was gonna correct that then I remembered how posts worked a little too late. I meant as soon as it's broken.

Actually hang on, they only believe in one god, my bad, but still yeah, they definitely don't believe that you can worship any faith as a path to enlightenment.

Ah, understood.

If you talk to an antitheist and a theist, they both might agree that we need it, but for vastly different reasons.

Yeah, I agree. I support Separation of Church and State.

Is this supposed to be a dystopia setting?

Yeah.

Okay so apparently you're doing a Left Behind knockoff or something, but whatever. Your actual question is difficult to answer, as you're the one with all the details about the plot or where you're going with it. I mean presumably escaping these jets is the conflict that has to be overcome. In a CYOA especially you probably want to avoid a lot of POV jumping, and...that's all I got? Progress by giving some more details about the attack or whatever's going on here, and give the player some options about how to deal with the situation?

Oh and if nothing else can we address the fact that these dumbasses are smuggling large, clunky books in dead tree format? Are they rare antiques or something because I can't figure out why these people aren't just sending a copy of a Bible to whoever's going to be distributing them from a phone? Same reason a Fahrenheit 451 scenario would be harder to suspend disbelief about in a modern setting.

Of course. But, I meant progressing past the combat. I'm trying to keep it from being a straight knock off. I've added plenty of my own story. I figured that the Gov't had put tracking devices in those Bibles (like the Bibles in LB3 were poisoned, yes I know...)

Are you familar with Jack Chick?

Smuggling legions those compact little tracts would get the job done a lot easier, they convey the Christian message just as well and non-believers are more likely to read them so the beginnings of conversion is a little easier.

Yeah, it'd be easier, but a tract just wouldn't do it for me (just doesn't seem to add anything).

Uh. Okay I realize 'explaining the joke' makes it unfunny, but...yikes. Even if End quit his job, gave all his money to the poor, and became a Christian evangelist full time, dude is not going to be recommending Chick tracts unironically. No one does, because they're an embarrassment even to Christians. That was the joke.

If there's one thing that something as batshit insane and Bible-Twilight-ey as LB needs, it's for the protagonists to believe that the Bible literally happened, and that revelations can only literally happen!

Is that what those Tracts try to say (because of course not everything in the Bible is likely a literal explanation)?

Since you seem to have not read Chick Tracts, they're pretty abhorrent and despicable. They basically just preach Catholics are Satanists, Gays are evil and brought about from being molested, Evolution's wrong, man hunted dinosaurs to extinction, the government is trying to destroy religion and start giving out free drugs (if only) and other similar bullshit.

That's what fundamentalism is. Well according to Chick, that, and the preaching of the message that child rapist (And child-sharing) dads,  and daughter-punching mothers are saved and will go to heaven simply by believing that Jesus died to get rid of those sins. So, basically the whole Mafia would be set for life if they weren't a bunch of devil-worshipping Catholics.

You went the mafia route? Weird, normally people go Nazis.

I always thought the Nazis were secular or irreligious, or that some forms of Christianity were pretty much discouraged by Hitler. Well, that and they aren't people, so it's a stronger point to show that human beings like the Mafia are being accused of devil worship by Jack Chick.

Hitler at least, was "Christian" as far as it helped him. He got rid of the church leaders in Germany of that time and replaced them with people he could manipulate.

Here's a link to the story for those who want a better understanding of it (I plan on fleshing out the pages I've already finished, if I can): http://chooseyourstory.com/story/viewer/default.aspx?StoryId=42047

So like, are you looking for critique, or just offering this so people can better understand the setting you're creating?

Anything is welcome.

Hmm... Well, I'm very glad you came to us for help, you clearly need it. But don't worry, I'm here to make everything better!

1. Spreading the word and love of Jesus Christ is great and all, but unfortunately, there's not much money to be made in smuggling illegal literature. I'd suggest filling up the rest of the plane with drugs, guns and under-aged prostitutes. That'll help pay your way.

2. How about instead of planes, we use spaceships? And how about instead of Earth, they're all on Mars? Everything's better in space!

3. There aren't nearly enough hedgehogs in this game. Make the main character a hedgehog... Or better yet, a werehedgehog! (Specifically Shadow the Hedgehog.)

4. Finally and most importantly, this game needs far more rape, torture, murder and incest... Especially incest. (Ever since Game of Thrones came out, incest is all the rage. Your can't call yourself a writer until somebody's getting porked by their brother. Bonus points if they're twins. Twincest is wincest!) ^_^

So to sum up... Why are you asking people for suggestions when you obviously already know where you're going with this? You've already created a world and a plot and characters ready to make a game out of. Hell, you've already started to put the game together. If anybody did come up with any suggestions, they'd be useless to you because they'd all divert from the plot that you've already created. If you want help with something specific, ask for help with the specific thing you're having trouble with. Other than that, jut keep doing what you're doing.

Sort of disappointed that the first major choice has several options, but they ultimately lead to the same outcome.(First memory)

Like it would have been more interesting if you picked the wrong lunch, and it led to a butterfly effect of you being lead astray from the true Christian path.

So like if you picked beans and rice you ended up becoming a Muslim suicide bomber or if you picked meatloaf and lima beans you became a gay satanist. Crunchy hamburger tacos lead you down a path to worship Santa Muerte, etc. Stuff like that.

It would've been great if there was a few choices that would've had God strike you down, like pork or shellfish.

I'm going for drama not comedy.

Seeing as Left Behind and Red Dawn are walking jokes,maybe rethink that.