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BTW I KNOW THAT "MAKED" ISN'T A WORD DON'T ATTACK ME PLEASE!

kk so i just wrote this and want opinions and two male (or nb) name suggestions (yes this is gay because yes.)

1: “I think I love you.”
2: “...what do you mean you think?”
1: “I mean I think I love you. I mean I’ve never been in love before, and have no clue how it feels, but I think I feel it with you.”
2: “It feels like a sickness. Like something is wrong with you and you are too scared to tell anyone, just to make sure you don’t confirm your suspicions. It feels like you are in so much pain, that pain becomes your normal, and you just fvcking live with it..”
1: “Are- Are you okay?”
2:”Nope.” *dramatic pause* “No. No, because I know I love you. No, because I’m so happy that you think you love me. No, Because you aren’t fully contaminated yet. No, because you can still deny your feelings, run away and be safe.”
1:”Safe from what? You?”
2:”Not exactly.” *scoffs* “Love, Love is a madness, a parasite, that claws its way into your brain so slowly that you can’t feel it. But once it's embedded, it's stuck in your brain, seeping into your heart, until you or it dies. It makes you do insane things. This parasite is still just poking at the surface of your skin, trying to dig in. You are still safe, you can still brush it off and keep living.”

I think its got relatable themes, such as fear and uncertainty around feelings of love and expressing love. Person 2 comes across as emotionally unavailable and incapable of accepting their love for person 1, and they project this onto person 1. I think its pretty good, especially person 1, person 2 is a bit.....strange. If i confessed feelings to a woman and she started speaking like that im not sure if id be confused, laugh or be turned off lol

Overall i think person 2's responses feel a bit weird....and a bit off topic, if theres proper setting for their character though, such as subtle hints in previous pages or paragraphs that theyre like this and its just their autistic personality it could work. Just make sure theres build up which explains their quirky responses. 

 

Names? Riley and Elliot

Yeah lol. I'm writing Person 2 as slightly self-centered, and as someone who read too many classical novels, to the point he wants to live in one. Hence long complicated and weird explanations when almost completely unprompted. 1 is basically the opposite of 2, but not in a cliche way. 2 is defiantly emotionally unavailable, but through out the story realizes that they like being real with their emotions, and not trying to be the main character all of the time.
thank you for reading and taking the time to give your opinions!

Is it suppose to just be a conversation? I think it would be much stronger if you characterized them. What are they doing at this very moment. These non-verbal movements can carry weight and change an entire scene. My default is they are just standing in a room talking to each other without moving. The dialogue itself is fine, pretty dramatic type of love interpretation imo. They stand there staring at each other and just speak the words - probably not your intention but taking the time to set the scene will greatly improve this.

TLDR;

Non-verbal movements/ information - these can even help with the tone in which they talk. Are they standing straight up, is #1 confident in how he says "I think I love you" or are his shoulders slouched, staring at the ground - almost afraid to say it

huh, in my minds eye they said this all over text lol but that just shows even more how true these words are. 

Thanks for the advice! seriously, it's really helpful, and something I wasn't really considering. it is an in person conversation, and i haven't actually written the actions yet, just the dialogue, but i will take this all into consideration! TY!

No problem! 

See, this is why I can never get into the romance genre. The whole intense, painful, maddening, makes you want to rip your own heart out just so you don't have to feel the agony that the average romance novel depicts is just the opposite of what I'd interperet as a genuine description of love. Like, if I were writing this scene it'd probably go something like:

1: “I think I love you.”
2: “...what do you mean you think?”
1: “I mean I think I love you. I mean I’ve never been in love before, and have no clue how it feels, but I think I feel it with you.”
2: “Oh, love's pretty cool. If you're lucky, you'll fall in love with somebody that you have loads of shit in common with, so you actually prefer hanging out with this person to spending all your time on your own, glued to your computor. It's like having a best friend that you can fuck whenever, so that's fun. Eventually your senses of humor get so in sync that you end up making the same jokes at the same time, and even if the joke wasn't funny, the fact that you both said it at the exact same time leaves you hysterically cry laughing for like 5 minutes. It's awesome!"
1: "Really? That doesn't sound very dramatic. Doesn't love drive you crazy and make you do insane things?"
2: "Like what?"
1: "Like... You know... Following someone everywhere they go to make sure that they're safe? Or climbing in through their window at night so that you can watch them sleep?"
2:"What? ... Ew! No! Sorry dude, but I do not think this is going to work out. Nice meeting you!"

Now, I'm not saying that your conversation is bad. For the romance genre, it's pretty much spot on of what I would expect to see. But it just feels like the typical, "description of love that is in no way shape or form similar to actual love, because if somebody ever wrote a story about two people who were actually in love, they'd just spend the whole time playing board games and watching Netflix and occassionally going to conventions, and the entire book would just be mind numbingly boring!"

As for names... I don't know... Alex and Zac? You know baby name websites exist on the internet, right?

One of my personal favorite realistic relationship conversations I've ever written.

“Annah, I know how to pick a fucking lock, will you stop bitching? This is for your benefit. Are you even paying attention?” you say.
“Yes, I’m fucking paying attention. I’m just getting bored and you’re taking too fucking long. If I wanted that experience I’d just suck your dick.” Annah replies.
“Ha fucking ha. There. Got it.”
“Finally. Hey you asshole! Why the hell did you slap my hand?” Annah says, hitting you back.
“Because if you were paying attention, you’d see there’s a blade trap almost well hidden in the roof of the safe. Had I not been here, you’d be giving me hand jobs with your left hand rather than your right in your foreseeable future.”
“You won’t be getting ANY sort of job if you continue to abuse me!”
“Continue to…nevermind. Let me just disarm this and we can get the fuck out of here. And pay attention to what I’m doing!”

So romantic! ^_^

Yes, very romantic indeed. (really good writing lol)

Thanks for all of the great ideas!
While i agree COMPLETELY with your more mellow description of love, 2 is supposed to be a character who is so dramatic you hate him. (but yeah i don't really agree with the love metaphor i wrote)
And yes lol, i am aware that there are baby name websites, i'm just lazy, and feel like the decisions i make kinda always suck.

Oh, well in that case, character 2 can be named Lysander or some Shakespearean shit like that. :p

Holy shit- yes ty
he totally will have some goofy medieval Shakespeare name

Quibbleton sounds like a good name for a starving artist. 

LOLL
i love it so much it's just almost too goofy but i'm going to incorporate it.

Whenever I try to write a healthy romance in story my mind goes back to a short story that I was read to in class back in elementary school. It was the The Chaser by John Collier. It was a little cryptic (at least to a bunch of 10-year-olds) but the main idea is that obsession ≠ love. I'm not entirely sure why my teacher would want to tell us this at that age, but I can guess that it was because we were all nearing the edgy preteen age where we might start romanticizing it. 

Anyway, The Chaser is a neat little short story that even has a Part 2 that expands upon the idea of it more. I'd recommend checking it out if you have the time.

Yeah! I think I started reading it in like middle school or something, but gave up. The name does strike a bell tbh. Thanks for the suggestion tho.

Keep writing! 

Tbh this is a very teenage conception of love but that's okay, we were all teenagers. The real problem is that this is dialogue without plot, character, context, stakes, drama, or any of the other things that cause people to read stories. So while it's not terrible like you were worried, it can't be good, because there's not really anything going on here. 

Thanks!
Yeah, i'm working on building the characters rn, and was just writing this to get a basic idea of how they'd talk. 2 is supposed to sound stupid and over-dramatic, and essentially corning in his depictions of love, cuz he's going to be like that.

lol, fag

Reider and Ronan

Yes they are (and i am) fags
i like the names!

The names should be Yosef "The Turducken" Gutierrez and Adolf Eichmann

ASDFGHHJBVCXLL!!!@ I LOVE IT!

One should be Ogre

I like Ogre.

I like Ogre ^_^

AASDFGHJKL yes lol

Yes- yes, but no lol.

Thadameus Bartholomew (the Third), and Biglips McGee.

A match made in heaven. ^_^

this is perfect lol