Player Comments on Wolf's Story

I'm not here to be rude, so don't get worried about this comment. ^^

I think a way you could improve the story is letting the reader have more choices for you to pick. Rather than focusing on getting a mate, what about raising my wolf's rank in the pack? Or maybe I discovered a dangerous secret that could threaten the pack - or maybe I get captured by humans! There's lots of parts where it seems like you were eager to publish the story a bit too soon.

Another thing: the Loner choice wasn't so great... I was hoping I would get to roam the woods or something by myself. I think the decision to put lots of the same endings side-by-side, giving no hope for exciting stuff as a loner, was a bit disappointing. There has to be something I can do other than search for mates! Focusing on survival and hunting, among other things, are what could happen - especially if I'm a wolf.

Overall, this currently seems more like a... wolf dating sim than anything else. I enjoyed it a lot though - you must've put lots of work into it! I would enjoy possibly a sequel, a prequel or even an update to this magnificent story!

3/8, but not bad for a first game!

Haha whenever I read these stories I like to imagine fur-fic-fans being let into an enclosure to pet a couple of grey wolves that haven't been fed for a few weeks to see how cute they really are then ("Aw, come here you... what! No! ARRGGHH! My face! My favourite arm!"):D Fortunately in these stories wolves seem a bit more... teddy bearish.

This story was pretty good though, the writing was ok but some of it seemed a bit strange, for example I've never been asked before on a scale of 1-10 how excited I am about meeting someone because I don't usually express my emotions in numbers but possibly it made planning the story easier. Also the "cool" and "let's go" links at the beginning both travelled in the same direction which isn't really a choice :D

Finally I'd suggest more options at the beginning, choosing your gender and coat is ok (though personally I wanted to be a blue and green wolf with octagon eyes because then the coat choice might have had an impact on the story) but if you're going to do that you might as well include name options.

Overall not bad though and playing through to the different endings was fun but the idea is a familiar one and sometimes I wish my wolf/cat/dog/turtle character found himself in a moral dilemma or genuinely emotional situation or possibly even just an attack on a camp of scouts :)

This was riddled with errors, but for a first try and an animal perspective game, it was ... better than most WC fanfics, anyway.

You still have plenty of room for improvement, James has some good points in his review, and I'd advise looking into the articles and studying the more popular games on the site to see what you can learn from them.

I'm a bit disappointed that you only get one possible name per gender regardless of physical appearance, but that's a nit-pick I guess.

Actually, my issue with the naming thing is more so the names themselves. 'Draco' is kind of bizarre as a wolf name. It means 'Dragon' and wolves have literally no reason to have any association with dragons at all. Unless your story has a dragon in it and I just totally missed that part, I guess.

The girl name is ... interesting. "Kilra" would logically be pronounced "Kill-ruh" so I have no idea where you got "Kyra" from. >_> Or wait, maybe I do. :P I have a sneaking suspicion I've seen that name in another story before. >.> Gee, I wonder which one it was... -_-' hmmm...

i had a horrible ending why even ad the alone part i hopig to be happy but this is not worth trying.

Pretty good just needs to be longer

Best one yet.

The Story was okay! A bit short sadly, i wish it’d last longer but im not telling you to make it longer! Im just saying. Thanks to this game im abit happier to day thanks for making it..!

This is pretty good.

I chose male wolf and a male mate yet my wolf gave birth.. I'm not even trans and even if i was that would make me feel uncomfortable. It would be nice to have an option weather to start a faimly or not instead of no choice. cool game tho :D

Can you please add more density in the way the story plays out with more paths and options? Thanks

Loved it! Would love to see more chapters added as well as part 2

I love the idea! Im always looking for fun stories to play. It's actually a pretty interesting story, but I think there should be more choices, and perhaps more life-changing decisions. Thanks!!!

This was bad, through and through. God sometimes I hate the random game button. Especially when it ends up pulling shit like this. The worse part is I know it could've somehow been even worse.

It was a great quiz!

This is the best game it reminds me of wolf choice on scratch

the story was way to short. I NEED A LONGER STORY. it took only a little bit. im very sad. :(

Gotta say i love this game and that there is diffrent outcomes depending on what you choose

good now can i play

I don't really like this

To short sorry

eh its not that good but its not bad :/ needs work

maby make it a real game where you can play

Needs more action

This was amazing. I loved that you could choose your coat color. 8/8

Make it longer please!

Can you only get a horrible ending?

Generic dog/wild animal simulator. No plot or depth. Random choices that don't really matter. Again, it's just a generic wild animal simulator.

Bringing you SERIOUS enlightenment.

This is literally the greatest wolf story I have heard so far. Every little detail truly made me feel like I was there. Unrealistic events occur, however. Such as riding on a wolf's back. It was sooooo adorable though! :3 Honestly, I thought it was awesome. And this was one of your first games, wasn't it? Well, anyways, you're going to go FAR with that kind of writing skills.

I gave birth to 1 puppy and 2 die logic, perfect logic XD but otherwise it was good, short but good.

I really enjoyed it! I mean sure, it was a bit short (well the ending that I got at least....) but still!

Be honest about my gender? I'll have you know, I identify as a ghost-pirate-banana-dolphin-graph-paper-pringle!

Don't you forget it!

I enjoyed the story! Although somehow I got mated to a girl when I am a girl, it was kinda weird.

Huh, I thought all these wolf stories inevitably wound up purged.

Individual pages are very short, and a lot of the choices don't amount to much. About what I expected seeing that 3/8 length, despite the boast of 15 endings.

Still, more effort and content in this than in most of the other wolf sims I've seen here. (Though that's a pretty low bar we're talking...)

I got the happy ending!

It's a nice story, but I wish it was longer. I also have to add that the first set of "choices" really didn't contribute nothing to my own character. They were links for the sake of links.

nice but it wasn't much of an adventure

Um...I morphed into a female wolf towards the end xD

I wish that it had been slightly more story, and more than just finding a mate.

Great, peaceful

Pretty good.

That was very well written and a good story. Well done.

I got the happy ending :)

I'd say for a first story, this was well done. Your grammar and spelling was fine, although the plot and idea were generic. I like that you did try to develop a story of your own, however, and not fanfic. Personally, I do like to write WC fanfic sometimes, but I know it's not the most creative genre in the world. With a little more development and experience, I'll bet you can create some fabulous story games! Keep writing your stories, I enjoy them.

It's good, except one thing. You have to have a female
mate. And I am female.

?????

Meh. Massively economic hurt.

Well. . . It was alright. But it definitely needs more build-up and story.

Lol. I was a female, and I mated with a female. O-O Also, you once said, "This wild is a male."

Very cool but next game u make put a little more excitement into it

I got a good ending it's good right I LOVE IT

I got a neutral ending. What does that mean?

Awesome girl!!!??

This was fun! I got the bad enduring though......

There was a lot of flavor to the descriptions, and you did a nice job of allowing the reader to feel like they were making decisions about their character's personality. However, I'm not sure how much my personality really affected my outcome. It kinda felt like it came down to about two choices right before the end, which was kind of abrupt.
A good first effort, hope to see more stories from you.

great! but could be just a bit longer.

The writing isn't the best. Parts of it don't make sense. My character had one pup, two died, and apperently a male pup survived. Grammar was awkward at times. Game wise is seemed like variables might have helped out a little. It is short. I didn't feel attached to my character in the time the storygame lasted.

Loved it so much thought and time


^_^

Good....for you to poop on




That silly

That was very good, for a first story.

Great job!

short and boring

The grammar was nice. But the story is too short and boring.

finaly happy ending

I died ;<

It was short and I did not feel like the choices had much effect on the story. I did get the good ending, but I felt that getting to know Jupiter would have been a nice addition to the story.

Duh, Malk. I know someone named Kyra. I picked the name out right before meeting her, which is eerie, but don't pretend it's a common name and the timing is extremely coincidental if it's unintentional. ... Are you also going to tell me spelling it "Kilra" somehow makes phonetic sense?

I do wish the people who made these animal games would learn to use the advanced editor so you wouldn't have to keep picking whether you're a boy or a girl with every other choice. >.<

It was very boring. 2/8

Same old plot. Boring.

2/8

This is every other wolf story on this site. Once you've read one of them you've read them all.

The story ended quickly, but the grammar is fine. I'll give it a 3/8.

Kiel, you realize that Kyra is an actual name, right? XD

By the way, if you label any kind of link with 'ending' then you're basically implying 'here it is, the final page!' ... and having that be the 'end game' link will annoy people.

The regular 'end game and leave comments' label is good enough and less likely to confuse or frustrate your reviewers.

You don't really introduce Jas in the story before you give us the option to address him by name. That is rather odd.

Also, there are several instances where you give us two or more options that lead to the same page and have no impact on the game later on. Especially irritating is the fact that the character's gender and appearance make no difference in the game.

I also feel that your ending is abrupt. I say this to so many people that I am sure it is a cliché by now, but you really need to give us a little more on the end pages than a two sentence summary of our life from the point we first choose a mate.

Chould be better.

Good

It's good just watch your words and how u spell them

This is good

That was a bad ending