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Sentinel was telling me about some old forum game somewhat based on this idea, plus I've had King of Dragon Pass on the mind lately, so I thought this could turn out interesting.

First, just to be clear we're talking gods with a little g only, no one gets to post about how they'd be the OP omnipotent God of the universe.

Okay, so a generic fantasy world has been created and you are a minor god who got stuck there in one of the usual ways. Time to start meddling in the affairs of mortals for some reason!



1.) What would be the thing you were god of?

2.) What thematic powers would that grant you?

3.) What appearance would you take on?

4.) What would you do to convince people to worship you?

5.) Why are you doing all this?

1.) All Crickets

2.) An armored body, easy temperature detection, sweet jumping skills, shooting blood out of myself when in battle mode, ventriloquism, music-making, command over my cricket army, and some really nice legs, etc.

3.) A cricket.  Generally a field cricket, as seen in my profile picture.

4.) If they don't worship me, that's their own problem, and they shall receive none of my divine assistance.  I would unleash crickets into the walls and fields of those who are the most persistently annoying.

5.) To spread the joy and power of crickets and elevate it to greater heights.  Because I can.

1.) The god of minor inconveniences 

2.) The ability to curse mortals with a string of inconveniences.  As well as being able to suck small and important things into a void.  Where does it lead you ask?  Well to a very large pile of all the other small and important objects I have sucked up over the years. 

And you either have to be willing to leap into the portal right way to retrieve your items, sacrifice your own or a friend or neighbors small but important items, or make a very long and arduous pilgrimage to my shrine.  At this point, after such a long journey, your lost object will appear on the pedestal for you to take. Why so easy once you get there?  I am the god of minor inconveniences, large inconveniences deserve rewards after.

3.) I would take the appearance of a lego of course.  And whichever mortal I randomly decide to speak to will end up stepping on me so I can get their attention.

4.) I would convince people to worship me by offering partial protection from my whims.  And with a proper sacrifice of a convenient object, I will inconvenience whoever they so desire to face my minor and terrible wrath.  

5.) There are no true answers, only questions and madness you see.

 

 

I'll fuckin murder you kiddo. You're on my shit list now, bitch.

Murdering me would be a minor inconvenience.

I bet a god of minor inconveniences would be really annoying to try and kill.

Only a little bit.

You have to throw the Lego into Mount Doom or some shit only your underwear is constantly riding up into your asscrack and you're being followed by a single mosquito you can never kill and you keep losing socks and stubbing your toe along the way. And at the end he just sucks himself (small, important object) into the void when you try.

Exactly

Minor inconviniences to others are the very definition of hell to me. Conversely, major inconviniences are nothing to me and before I started dating Leora (who, like a normal person, gets flustered at major inconviniences and doesn't notice minor ones) I basically never noticed them.

If someone cut my arm off I wouldn't be as frustrated as getting a papercut. I'm autistic like that.

Bruh you sound like king moron from persona 4

This just might be the best thing I've read all week. lol.

1.) I would be the god of mad scientists.

2.) Earthquakes and death rays, just for starters.

3.) I'd wear a lab coat, rubber gloves, and thick eyeglasses.  My hair would be wild and untamed, or else I'd be bald.  You'd find me in my lab, dusty and filled with cobwebs.  Note the Tesla coils, various levers, dials with needles indicating who knows what, and colorful liquids in beakers.  Observe how they bubble, giving off clouds of vapor that sink to the floor.  And let's not forget the operating table.  You really don't want to be strapped onto that.  Haha, no, indeed.

4.) Worship me and I'll reward you with fame and fortune, even if it means stealing other people's inventions.  Ignore me, and die penniless and alone in your hotel room.  Tough call, eh?

5.) For science!

1.) The god of knowledge and curiosity.

2.) Consciousness and the ability to think for myself.

3.) An abstract, shapeless appearance. I am neither seen nor heard but can only be felt. All I am is an abstract thought, a phenomenon that exists only in the mind.

4.) Nothing at all since everyone, regardless of their characterizations worship me every single moment throughout their lives.

5.) To make the ‘Homo Sapien’ species special over all other forms of life. My presence in their minds is what differentiates them from mere animals. I am consciousnesses, I am the reason behind them being sentient, the reason they are curious about the world around them. It is because of me that humanity is what it is today. If not for me, then there wouldn’t have been any difference between humans and apes. Thus, the reason I’m doing this is because I want this species to be conscious about themselves, I want them to progress and learn more and to be more curious. Knowledge is an infinite ocean but I intend to not stop for eternity until I swim completely across it.

 

 

1.) The god of procrastination.

I'll fill the rest out later.

I like your answer!

This actually pairs really well with mine. Which I'll write about later.

Well I mean we really need to define "minor" here.

Obviously any Christian God level is right out, but when you got gods in charge of things like fertility, war, knowledge, death, the sea, the sky, etc those are still considered greater gods if we go by the traditional polytheistic mythologies.

Not powerful enough to just wipe out an entire civilization on a whim, so death and the sea and obvious ones like that are out. You have to be more creative in getting people to pay attention to you.

Well since the obvious isn’t an option, I’ll go with the next best thing:

1. God of Trolling.

2. Trolling obviously.

3. Oh still the same traditional “reaper” appearance. Initially trolling people into believing I was the God of Death would never get old.

4. Sexing up various mothers through various means which would always result in the birth of a loyal daughter. Other than that nothing. In fact calling on me directly may or may not result in bad things happening to the person.

5. For the lulz of course.

So pretty much just Eurmal then.

"End's japes often made fights worse. Once, for example, he helped the CYSers kill many CoGites with the thing called Death, and he did it for a laugh."

"They were really funny looking cows." - EndMaster

Behold the Frictional god Ficsean!

1) I am the god of friction.

2) I have the ability to manipulate the friction of myself and my surroundings (including living things), which enables me to slide objects or myself around with ease, keep myself or objects firm on the ground. Inversely, I can also 'trip' enemies by drastically lowering their friction. I can also decrease my own friction to glide and slide at high speeds.

3) Assuming I remain as a humanoid, I will look the same, but to signify my importance, I will wear a black spandex suit covering most of my body. However, I will be wearing sky blue gloves, sky blue boots, and the portion of the suit where my face is would also be sky blue.

4) I will stay in villages or forts for weeks or months at a time, helping civilians capture hooligans or haul heavy loads. Once I gained enough reputation, I reveal my identity as a god (keeping the fact that I can only control friction a secret). Should that not convince people, I just move on, leaving them to the burdens of the laws of physics.

5) Why not? To glide through villages, to see the surprised and excited expressions of those you pass, and to gain a large party of followers to help spread your reputation, that sounds like a good way to spend eternity.

Hang on, I created a superhero, not a god. Oh well, I guess those two are interchangeable in such a world.

Lol, the bolded bit is pretty much exactly what I was going to say.

Like, the entirety of the bold?

Well, I guess if you have people who have minor powers that can be used for many purposes, I guess it ends up looking like a super, even without the spandex.

You know somehow you remind me of the church of the broken god from the scp universe 

Ah shit i replied to the wrong person. sorry

1. ) Trolling and meming.

2. ) The ultimate meme spam, annoying random people and the ability to lose friends you never had.

3. ) Shadilay. Maybe Pepe the Frog if I have to be extra cancerous.

4. ) 4chan memers would probably join me voluntarily. The rest would be convinced with FACTS and LOGIC.

5. ) Why are we still here? Just to suffer?

Oh, so this is sort of like a Twin God thing? Where End is the God of expert trolling and you are the God of sucky trolling and shitty memes?

Obviously.

Such hate, much wow.

Sham WOW!

Wow, what a sham.

Zass, the god of Shams and saying Wooooooow!

Pretty much, I mean I'd rather have a bunch of MILFs and loyal daughters following me than a bunch of basement dwelling 4channers.

Oh wait, that means I get to be the CHAD Trolling God while Zass is the Incel one.

"Just gotta work on your trolling bro." - EndMaster

"This is outrageous! It's unfair. How can you be on the trolling council and not be a Chad?" - Zassuen

"Take a shower, young Memewalker."  - EndMaster denying the rank of Chadgod.

Wait, would that mean Steve is Palpatine?

Jarjar.

1. Pleasure

2. Turn water into alcohol, induce states of wild passion, ecstasy or madness, control vines, turn into animals and shit.

3. I'll combine Satan and Dionyseus, and stick with my own thing, of course, and go with Snake, traditionally depicted wrapped around a wine goblet.

4. Turn water into alcohol, induce states of wild passion, ecstasy or madness, control vines, turn into animals and shit, throw a few bitching seshes.

5. For the craic.

A little late to the party but the topic is interesting.

1) I'd be the God of 'Getting shit done'.

2) It'd grant me the power to get whatever, wherever, however shit done.

3) A lumberjack, a Canadian lumberjack. The whole deal with the scruffy, manly beard and rugged body. (Hah, Gayyyyy).

4) I'd convince them by getting their shit done.

5) I think it's rather obvious at this point. To get their shit done.

If I could be a god i think I'd want to be Anubis.

1.) Anubis is the Eygptian god of the dead.

2) Anubis's job was to guide the souls of the dead to the after life and he also oversaw the process of mummification.

3) Abubis has the form of a human with the head of a jackal.

4) I don't need to convince people to worshi me because they already worshiped me in ancient Egypt.

5) Becuase it's my job lol.

This is cheating.

Yeah, even End had to be nerfed for the sake of the thread. If death was an option, it would be taken.

Oh okay then. I'll be Ixcacao the Mayan Godess of chocolate.

1) Chocolate

2) Banishing hunger and providing for the safety and security of the people

3) Ixcacao had the appearance of a Mayan woman with cocoa beans all over her body.

4) I'd give people chocolate

5) Because I like chocolate

Interesting choice.

Since I am currently broken, there will be no sharing of my choice of god. I do, in fact, already have a religion centered around me.

 

Im preety late to the party

1.) I would be the god of sex, and sexual pleasure

2.) I would be able to give and take away orgasms. I would be able to make someone uncontrolablly lustful.

3.) I'd be to sexy so sexy girls would cum on sigth

4.) I would give em some preety good as orgasms. 

5.) Because pussy makes the world go round

You must have some strange, strange fantasies. Since you have such an interest in sexual intercourse, I suggest you read Love SICK by EndMaster unless you haven’t already. 

Revolting niggerfaggot*

Agreed. 

?

That's what you are. I don’t know what you find confusing about it. 

Hey mizal, may I formally request a ban? On this.....not sure what I’m going to call him other than to add on to Thara. 

1. Surprises

2. Materializing gifts in front of people’s feet. They could range from a  puppy to a handgun to a computer wired up so it can activate any remotely controled nuke that the user wants. Instilling surprise in somebody no matter how obvious the surprise may be, very useful for last-minute surprise birthdays or horrible Disney twist villains.

3. It’s a surprise!

4. Absolutely nothing (surprising isn’t it?)

5. Because if I don’t, the god of boredom will win (it’s a fierce office rivalry)

 

1. The god of opinions

2. The ability to cause heated debates over minuscule topics, such as what type of bread is the most delicious. I can also switch someone’s opinion on a topic, which can lead to some funny shenanigans.

3. Whatever people want to see

4. I’d change their opinion to love me. 

5. In my opinion, it’s the right thing to do. 

Chocolate croissants are the most delicious. Subject closed. ^_^

No opinion to change there. You are simply correct. 

Hmm... I've given it some serious consideration, but I think my heart is set.

1.) The God of ever so mild irritation.

2.) The power to teleport keys behind the backs of sofas, drain phone batteries unusually quick, cause mould to appear on food a couple of days before it's use by date, and make at least one sock disappear from every batch of washing.

3.) A regular man... But one of his eyebrows is slightly larger than the other eyebrow.

4.) Oh, they wouldn't worship me, but I'd probably get a few curses from the easily angered people... Then I'd go out of my way to target them.

5.) Shitz and giggles. ^_^

You totally sniped that out from under me. I'm tilted. Why is minorly annoying people so common, it's only one of the best things ever.

But aren’t you just Corgi, but in a different form?

Oh yeah... My bad. Didn't really read the others. 

Make a different one. Please?

... No.

Taking her godly duties seriously already

Well for starters I would not make humans have to pass gas.  this really is a gross thing that we have to do.  I would make us whistle instead.

A girl can wish and dream.

Dream big or go home!

Right now, I could see the appeal of being the god of Always-Clear Sinuses. My seemingly minor and very specific power would still have new worshippers flocking to me every Spring.

I need to smile today.  I like your version of it much better.  

My family,  excluding me of course,  all had gas issues.  My mother passed wind in her bosses face.  It was a bizarre accident.  My grandfather passed wind on Brook Sheilds.  A business venture that ended abrupty with the wrong end. So, I  have thus far been blessed to experience no gas at all.  I must be demigod. I do not do such nasty repugnant things.  

Now, I would also like to be able to bend time and space, so that I can go back in time to change my answer if I am caught being untruthful, or someone proves otherwise in the regard of my claim.  I think i said the same thing two ways. See I am a God!

Why would everyone worship me? Think of the time they would save.  No Gas means no number 2.  Whistling instead would mean beatiful music. I suppose number 2 could be replaced with a once a month cleansing. Yes grandma always made that sound like she was happy at the spa getting her colon cleansed.  

I think I will call my worshipers, Butt Breaths.  The smell has to go somewhere. 

However, i will bless my followers with impeccable teeth, and great air freshner. They will not speak.  My followers will communicate with whistle's and clicks. 

So, whistle click, or something like that. 

 

1) All manner of deer, dead or living.

2) Can create prime deer habitat, command deer, dead or living, to do my bidding.

3) Weredeer.

4) Worship me or all the deer you've killed will come storming into your village and impale you on their antlers. Also, I'll make a big ass tree and underbrush grow up in the middle of all your crappy little huts. Maybe I'll give you some undead deer steeds if you're well behaved.

5) I need a reason?

Not sure what to say to this...

Im gonna take my deer to the old time road im gonna ride till i can't no more

 

These things are too tightly themed, I think you're all missing something very important about the gods of old: The array of random bullshit they do in order to explain natural phenomena that are only vaguely related to their powers.

1.) THE ARENA! Technically the god of sports, but I would prefer it to be combat sports because those are the only ones worth watching.

2.) Obviously herculean physicality, and various witch-powers like summoning equipment, though I'd also have the ability to ride around the sky in one of my brilliant collosseum. The lights and festivities would create a trail of blazing light behind them as they hurtled through the vast reaches of space. Every once in a while, I'll call down one of these collosseums onto anything I see fit, the fireball embedding its foundation in the earth and demanding that all come to see (and try their luck) in the spectacles of the gods! I would probably have lots of demigods working for me, all piloting their own colosseums.

You also need a lot of mythological monsters and stuff for your spectacles, and the capability for creating and capturing new ones seems like the order of the day wheneer you need something for your heroes to fight. Lots of regular entertainment employees too, just for management. Valkyrie characters for enforcement, supernatural dancers because humans get old and die, etc. Every four years, there'll be a meteor shower, which will announce the coming of THE OLYMPICS. Mine, and the top six most productive and entertaining arenas for that olympiad, will land on earth and throw the biggest opening party that mortals are capable of handling, as a great congregation of men and women gather to watch the heroes that sign up participate in 6 sports at once, starting with the newest and/or the most boring, and slowly rising up to the tried and true events. Combat, naval battles, Man vs. Monster, with music and bombast and no shortage of fair foods.

3.) My appearance would probably change a lot over time, starting out as a much more Shao Khan-esque figure and then I'd probably have to rebrand myself into something like an entertainment manager as humans start feeling like duels and mock warfare are in poor taste.

4.) Put on a damn good show, of course! Plus, I'm going to keep a lot of magic things and people employed.

5.) Because it's cool. And, if there's a god of boredom like what'shisname said, then that's a threat that I take very seriously! Surprise is such a temporary way to fight with the god of boredom. You gotta get people invested! We need to combat this evil with magnificent, longterm entertainment!

The old wome has urinated herself laughing. Thank you dear friend for this comic relief moment. 

No omorashi allowed on this Christian server.

This is probably pretty close to omnipotency, but I don’t care. 

1) God of fact

2) This would grant me the power to change fact at will. Say that somebody says the sky is blue, but no, I say that the sky is actually green (which it is), and then everybody will now call the sky green. 

3) An encyclopedia with googly eyes glued on the cover. 

4) The fact that they will cease to exist if they don’t. 

5) Because being supreme dictator of the world sounds fun. 

so your a human fact checker

*you’re

You didn't capitalize or put a period. Maybe I'm just nitpicking, though.

This sentence makes me angry. You wrote “your” rather than “you're”, and CAPITALISE YOUR GODDAM SENTENCES! You forgot a period. To answer your question, basically yes. 

Goddamn

WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? I always get confused on such things.  You are, your, you're. God of fact checking, I apologize in advance for my poor punctuation, spelling and grammer.  I was cursed with a love to tell stoies, but gifted no skill to do so. 

Wistle and click. Thanks. 

Do you have non-threaded view on?

I did have it on non-thread view. I apologize for so rudely interrupting.  Thank you for telling me. 

You're welcome. Enjoy a whole new world of joy and clarity.

Use threaded view you cadunkulus.

So you're a human fact checker.

Couldn't you simply just make it a fact that everybody worships you? You can make it a fact that you are as vital to them as their heart or lungs.

True.

why does it matter if i dont capatilise thing and not put periods

Because this is a writing website and grammar matters.

Probably has something to do with the fact that you're on a writing site.

?? okay then i guess...... 

*Depressing music plays*

*Jumps of cliff*

 

Nothing of value was lost

Of course value was lost! Who else would we criticize for bad grammar?

Oh wait, there’s every single illiterate newbie ever. Never mind, I agree. 

Fine, I will type with correct grammar. I hope my submission will pleas the CYO gods. 

*Bows Down*

"I swear to not ever, ever type like i am texting or anything else."

Forgot to capatilize the I ??, rookie mistake

I always do that. People keep telling me off for it, lol.

Yeah, people like me.

How do you "forget" to capitalize I? That's like forgetting to breathe.

Don't you mean:

*Jumps off cliff*?

My apologies, old habits die hard.

Normally when hitting the ground, very hard, after having jumped into the Grand Canyon. 

Like you said before God of Facts.

#facts

Is your name inspired from the church of broken god in the scp universe ?

Also i remember this as a plot from a ''The fairy odd parents'' old episode.

The only takeaway from this thread is that danfister is the next annoyance on the list to be banned.

pls don't

Please do. 

Just because i didn't know that I had to type perfectly, all the time. 

No I’m pretty sure it’s because you chose to be the god of sex and sexual pleasure. 

It's both. 

Ok, being the god of sex was a joke(well i thought it was funny). And people make mistakes second chances exist.

I didn’t say you should be banned. I’m just saying that’s why other people might want you banned. 

it is what it is.

I would not be at all surprised if he was banned, but I seriously doubt it would be for that.

I don’t know, but it could be one of the countless reasons to. 

Well I guess I’ll let Mizal decide the fate of Fisted Dave since he’s fagging up her thread.

It’s typing better. I say give it a chance; it’s trying to learn!

I have a name :C.

Sure, Fisted Dave. 

1. God of 9-12 year olds

2. Ability to control children within age range.

3. 13 year old male

4. Stream apex and splatoon 2.

5. Amass army of cyberbullies.

sounds like pedophilia with extra steps but whatever

Kiel_Farren II: The Second Coming

1.) The God of Annoying Hangnails That You Want To Get Rid Off But Don't Because You Know It Would Hurt

2.) The ability to give people hangnails that they want to get rid off but don't because they know it would hurt.

3.) A massive finger with a bad hangnail.

4.) My ability. No one wants fuckin hangnails.

5.) Because deep down, I want everyone to suffer.

That is absolutely evil.

Somebody clearly hasn't been praying to the God of Precariously Holding Razors at Exact Angles and Carefully Sawing Parallel to Your Skin.

1. The god of mental torment.

2. A ridiculous aura that gives nearby beings to recall every crappy memory of theirs in perfect detail.

3. A flying mini-whale since why not?

4. By tormenting them to insanity, duh.

5. Because I'm mean.

1.) Powerpoints and slideshows

2.) Deleting powerpoints; granting access to a full, free library of the best designs; messing someone up in the middle of their presentation by changing all the text to the background color(s)

3.) Human with irises like a hologram

4.) Refuse to let them access their correct and complete presentation unless they give me five yen per slide

5.) For the mere joy of data control

This is way too close to omnipotence, I think this is illegal. Way too powerful. 

Well darn. I was hoping I'd get away with this. >:)