Hey, fuck it, all the good tech-question-asking sites are blocked on my school chromebook, and the last thread turned out so well. Here goes fucking nothing.
I used to be able to access the internet fairly well, save for brief spurts of non-connectvity due to IP conflicts. However, that seemed to impact all the internet-accessing things in the building, not just my Computer, so I'm not sure if that's even relevant, but that is my recent history with internet problems, so there.
When I click on Chrome or Firefox, nothing happens. Carefully observing with Task Manager, I can see the task actually opening sometimes, but it will never load or bring up a window... And I'm no stranger to waiting a few hours for my computer to do something. I swear, the little weights I keep by my desk to deal with Lord-Caerbog-please-end-my-life-even-if-I-have-to-shit-eyeballs levels of ennui are actually starting to feel lighter. Internet Explorer will bring up a window, and load the google homepage, but it will never load or open up any other website beyond that.
I have turned it off. I have turned it back on again. I've also turned it back on. But that's not all, I've also turned it off again after turning it back on. I've even turned it back on a third time, and... Well, fuck, I've been turning it back on and off like a responsible computer user each day I've come back to it. So, about 5 times.
Actually, yeah, the last time I really used the internet on my craptop was 5 days ago, putting up images for that Sims LP. It was loading Postimage as slow as a motherfucker and it was swiftly approaching body-temperature, because keeping up two programs is too fucking much for this machine. I eventually gave up and stole a USB to copy-paste the images to another machine... Which I lovingly borrowed... And put it on the website that way.
However, nothing's wrong with the internet. It gets all the bars, and it is in fact the exact same internet I'm using to contact you right now. I've checked other sources of internet, like Steam, to confirm this. I can navigate my Steam library, see who's online, and other traditionally internet-requiring things, but I cannot use it as the steam browser... Which isn't saying much, considering that Steam Browser never worked for me to begin with and I always ended up visitting steam pages with Chrome, which is now defunct as I've previously mentioned.
If you find some fucking way to help me out, that'd be great. You'll be doing me a great service, and I'll still be able to efficiently communicate and write with you all on these forums when school is over. More importantly, I'll be able to use porn again.
Okay. Uh... How do you download a browser without using a browser?
My file access keeps getting denied when I try to fuck with the Opera Installer. I can't even get it off the USB, even though I can sure as hell fuck around with it on the USB. Who the hell is "Everyone" and how do I get permission from them? Is this some bullshit because I got it off school equipment? Am I seriously going to have to yell at a school IT guy in the middle of Spring Break in order to download Opera off an internet I otherwise can't use?
Try looking for an antivirus that's blocking access. Then use taskmanager to get rid of it. That is, if your school does blocking like that. If they blocked taskmanager, try unblocking it using a .reg file or something.
If nothing else works, you may be looking at a back up and a reimage. Just ask your IT to do it for you 'cos, from the sound of it, your computer is slow af.
I just can't believe this is finally it. I mean, I've been trawling the digital world with this thing for a little less than half of my entire life. I mean, I could see all the signs coming for a while now. In hindsight, it's been pretty shit for years, but at this point I can see it really taking the first big step in its metamorphosis into a brick.
Luckily, they seem to be absolutely fully functional in Safe Mode. I ran the Chrome Cleanup Tool since I finally got the damn thing open, I'll see if that changes anything.
Well, I've tried. AVG is doing fuck all (as usual) and I'm sure the others might do their damnedest if I was capable of obtaining new programs and putting them in this machine. As it stands, bullshit security protocols are in my way, and I'll have to take on any possible malware in plain hand-to-hand combat.
The Sims has some internet shit. It can't connect to Origin, so I don't get any advertisement clothes and shit. Internet Backgammon seems to work. I could ask them for help in chat if shit gets really desperate.
Notepad works. Microsoft Word works. Mount and Blade works. The only things that were ever at fault were the internet browsers.
When the task does show up, there's only one, and it just sits there, or it disappears. I only right-click-open my browser once, because I'm not a goddamn maniac. Everything gets only exactly the amount of clicks that it needs!
Is there a difference between the regular task manager list and the task manager startup? I only know how to bring up just the list.
I should mention that when I say "Just the list" I mean exactly, literally that. You'll have to tell me exactly where I type that in to find it, because there aren't any buttons on my task manager aside from the checkbox that says tasks from all users and the closeout button.
It had buttons once. It used to be a multi-functioning window. It lost them after one of my technological friends befuckled it with witchcraft.
Dammit, Mizal, the evil machine is the only one I have! Aside from a phone, but everyone knows that mobile websites and mobile-ly emulating websites is basically the yeast infection of the internet experience.
I am in the process of doing that. The problem is, my problem is not fixed right now.
So I finally made the """UPGRAAADE""" over to Windows 10, since after a while, shit you download off the internet starts NOT FUCKING WORKING when it's been made on a higher platform. Still have the same problem, except now that I attempt the workaround of safe mode with networking... Well, shit, it doesn't connect to the network. Regular mode? Yeah, the internet works fine, but I still have no fucking means of browsing it. Safe mode with Networking used to do all my internet shit just fine, and at twice the speed of my regular computer, but now safe mode opens a functioning browser and yet it connects to fuck all. How do I fix this? What is it expecting me to do here? should I just downgrade? Please people I have schoolwork and documents and shit.
Your laptop is simply to old...
In my current financial situation, $200 takes a long time to scratch up without skimping out on food and shit like that. Which would be great, if I weren't struggling to manage 8% bodyfat as it is, but at the same time, I'm not going to waste a few weeks of saving shit up on a computer that's just about as much of a throwaway as this one. That money's going into a real man's computer!
Young enough to ask mom and dad for money, but old enough to feel pretty guilty and emasculated about the whole thing, particularly when I said the next time I'd talk to Dad about it is when we're frankensteining an actual computer together. Frankly, school is almost over, and I can transfer all the portfolios of dubiously downloaded kungfu movies and shit that I actually need on my phone if I really needed it, but my PC was the go-to storage space for all my documents. Nothing about the solution of mooching to buy an entirely new throwaway would be practical at all, honestly, but I suppose I should've expected it after that last line. Any knowledgable person would know that penguin porn is generally one of the worst kinds of porn.
Nah. I'm not 31, 73, or 3v3 either if that's what you were about to ask.
Honestly, I only clicked on it because it was "Easy to undo" according to the Windows Website. So I'm about to spend an extraordinary amount of time waiting for my computer to unfuck itself and hopefully get back to plain internet browsing. I have a load of shit my friends are working on that's in the new Flash, so I need an up-to-date OS to run it, but honestly if I can't browse or use my docs, it's kind of fucked.