Hmm.
I get where you're coming from. Sent is right that using "gay" as an insult has become completely divorced from its original meaning on CYS (and many other corners of the internet). And you're right that using "gay" as an insult does continue to perpetuate homophobia, even if it's meant in an entirely innocent way by the person using it. So... what does one do in that case? Do the intentions or impact matter more? Whose linguistic interpretation of the word is the correct one?
The linguistic side of things is really interesting here. It's related to the trend of medical terms for intellectual disabilities being taken and turned into insults--like how "moron" and "retard" used to be a medical terms, and now people are doing the same thing with "special" and "autistic".
In a more innocent way, people naturally trend towards hyperbole, and end up doing this with any medical term. We say we're OCD when we're feeling a little stressed, or feeling ADHD when we're feeling distractible. Teenagers frequently say they are "literally dead" when they find something slightly amusing.
This is all technically inaccurate, and in the case of medical term usage, potentially harmful. Using OCD/ADHD/autism as a common word trivializes the condition, and makes it harder for people without those conditions to understand how extreme the experience of having it actually is.
But at the same time, this isn't something that's going to change. It's been shown time and time again that people will always wind up using new medical terms in this way. On what grounds would you go about stopping or regulating it, anyway? It can't be stopped, it's just a perpetual linguistic arms race. It's messy and imperfect and has no clear and fair solution. It just isn't a hill worth dying on.
It's a grey area. I've thought about this a lot, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
In linguistic issues like this, the side I ultimately fall on is "majority wins". Whichever side has the most people using the word a certain way is correct about its definition. Given the current linguistic trends, I suspect "gay" as an insult is probably on its way out. It's getting less and less innocent usage, and being associated more and more with its negative origins. Majority rules--if everyone agrees "gay" as an insult is bad, then it is.
But things are different on CYS. On CYS, CYS majority rules. And on CYS, the majority clearly believes that the use of "gay" as a non-homophobic insult is okay and acceptable. So I figure people using "gay" as an insult is okay on CYS, even if it's probably not acceptable anywhere else.
Is this going to be a shock to gay people coming to CYS to the first time and seeing it used this way? Yeah. I was shocked myself the first time I saw it. But you're going to get culture shock in some way any time you enter a new community. I bet most Americans and British people are appalled when they first arrive in Australia and hear "cunt" being used in casual conversation. CYS is not under any obligation to make its cultural idiosyncrasies palatable to casual strangers. It sucks that some people's feelings are going to be hurt by this (and yeah, they will be hurt by this), but it doesn't mean CYS's linguistic oddities are necessarily bad and evil. It's all about context. The context here is pretty innocent. No gay people were harmed in the making of this post.