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Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

I'll start

word of the day is legs, want to come to my place and spread the word?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Did you just fart? Because you just blew me away.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Oh my. Yes, walk up to a chick and say that.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

I got the jokes from this guy. He is awesome:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S07sThl3PfI

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Well, that pretty must accounts for all the cheesy well known pickup lines. 

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago
Hey you're pretty wanna come back to my place and have sex

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago
Are you a globe because imma bout to rock the world

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

I have a gun, get in the car.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago
Are you from the Caribbean cuz Jamaican me horny.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago
Prepare your anus

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Here's one I can imagine Endmaster using:

Does this hand smell like chloroform?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago
Tehe totally

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

"You wanna go back to my place to make hot dogs and fuck?" Upon being slapped in the face you say, "Hey, wait, we can make cheeseburgers instead!"

"Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?"

 

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Hey, nice outfit, but I think it would look better on the floor at my place!

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago
Wow. Hey my watch says you're not wearing panties. Oh you are then it must be 10 minutes fast.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

When I was young, I was only taught 24 letters, I don't know U, and I don't know Y.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you!

 

shoots and scores!

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Boo. no

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Do you like bacon? wanna strip?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Are you from Tennessee cause your the only ten I see

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Do you have a library card? because I'm checking you out.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

I'll be burger king and you be McDonalds. I'll have it my way and you be lov'in it.

Do you believe at love at first sight or should i walk by again.

 

Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.

Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive

 

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

 

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Lol the floppy disk is hilarious 

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

ok;-

Are you wearing space pants? 'Cause your ass is outta this world!

 

Are you wearing china pants? 'Cause your ass is fine.

 

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.

 

"Sorry for painting your face red."

"Sorry for painting your face blue."

"Wanna make purple?"

 

Come with me if you want to live.

 

(Corny as hell, but y'know)

 

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Well here I am. What are your other two wishes?

Do you have a quarter? My mom took me to call her when I met the women of my dreams.

If I cook you dinner? will you cook me breakfast?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Are you a  farmer, cause you grew some big melons right there

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Are you a light switch? Cause you just turned me on.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Are you Katniss Everdeen? cause i got a uprising

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

How much cod points does it take to unlock you

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Gamer pick up lines... classic

I lost my pants would you mind losing yours so I fit in?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

You are one b******** women. I censored "beautiful" cause I thought it'd be too strong of a word for you. 

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

... I hope that's a pick up like because I'm a dude.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

When hitting on a robot:

Would you like me to place my information up your USB port or go troubleshooting until I upload all over your face?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Woah there!

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Some kid was walking around my school saying this a couple weeks ago

Can I stick my thumb drive in your USB port

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

That kid was you wasn't it?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

No I'm not a perv that uses sick robot humor I prefer regular pick up lines

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Skyrim pickup lines:

Hey, Hroki, did I just kill someone? Because my level is rising...

Maybe I am part dragon, you make me feel awfully horny.

Are you a Stormcloak? Because you've given me quite an uprising!

Are you an Imperial? Because you've got alot of white guys coming at you... 

Hey, Ysolda, I just joined the Thalmor! You know what they say about guys with long ears, right?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Who is yoslda? And

Hey harm you said I'm thane right? I'm the thane of you now....

(insert creeper slash perverted face

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Ysolda is the marriageable woman with short dark hair who lives in whiterun and has a very small house behind the market district and wants to be a merchant, who CONVENIENTLY decides she wants to start pursuing this passion as soon as you jump the broom and shove all your valuebles in the nearest closet to let yourself run again without using the cheat engine to lock it...

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

I now know that skyrim hates you and only you

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Nah, it's a good game, and the feeling is mutual that we are both lovely. It just has some logic-breaks...

Jewelry salesmen... Y U ALWAYS BROKE!?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Hey, get your coat, I've pulled.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Do you like pancakes?

How about Ihop on that ass

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Are you up for a tactical insertion?

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

No,

for a blow off.

When a freshmen asks when do her legs spread the word. A senior says

"Sorry  they open when its past your bedtime."

what they say FML

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Horrible HORRIBLE terriblly outdated pickup line:

Are you a pinball machine? Because I'm hoping to score...

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Score your to young to reach the flippers.

Saw this on I funny though it was hilarious

Teacher:" I want everyone to be here for the exam tomorrow I might take nuclear war, extreme personal injury or death of a immediate family member, but other than that no excuses!"

smart ass student:"what if I say I am suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

class: snickering and laughing

teacher:(when silence is restored)smiles real sweetly." Than I guess you'll have to use your other hand."

BURRRNNN!!!!!

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

NINJA NINJA

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

- "Daddy's home"

(for when it's hot out)

- "You must be a cold shower, because i'd love to be inside you"

- "Is your hair frizzy because of the humidity or is it because you're shocked to see someone this good-looking?"

- "You look like you could use something cool to suck on"

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Is there such thing as a pickup line that ISN'T funny/stupid as hell?

And since when do they work with anyone other than prostitutes? (Or is that their purpose?)

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

I don't know, "Daddy's home" has promise. It's funny, ridiculous, suggestive, and has enough of an impact as a first sentence  to catch someone's attention (The actual purpose of pick-up lines).

Of course, it might be TOO ridiculous for some.

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

Haha that second one actually made me laugh :P

Funny/stupid as hell pickup lines

8 years ago

If I were Spongebob and you were Patrick, would you let me look in your secret box?