Sort of half working on this one again when I can.
Originally I wasn't planning on this to be very long, but its looking like I'm having a difficult time shutting the hell up as usual and as a result each passage is becoming four pages long. Oh well, gone are the days of writing less verbose pages I suppose.
So far 78 pages in, two epilogues finished and one more soon to be finished. Still haven't finished one of the four major branches yet though, so if it ever does get completed it will be a long time from now.
Sounds exciting. This is about the character who was scolded (sort of) for dressing like a 'harlequin seductress', right?
Yep, I'm working on the carnival path right now at a snail's pace.
Then I still have to work on the party path, the cult path and the internet path. Internet path is probably going to branch off into two vastly different paths though, so I guess there are technically five major paths overall rather than four.
The biggest issue is there is a lot going on and I'm going to have to keep track of major events that occur on certain days in the story. But I've got things more or less organized, just things are subject to change as usual.
Take as much time as you need, this sounds like it could get dangerously interesting incredibly quickly...
Updated my journal…
Still working on this when I get the time.
107 pages 3 epilogues (1 more soon to be completed) 1 major branch almost complete though to be honest it's already got more branching than I planned in this one. Didn't think I'd spend as much time on this path as I have, but it's requiring the extra attention to detail.
It's really weird writing a normal female protagonist in a modern setting, but never let be said that I don't occasionally write something different once in a while.
Different as in no misogynist sex-fiends, right?
Well I guess it isn't very different after all.
Oh wait, yes its still different because now you get to play as the girl who gets harassed by said misogynist sex fiends.
Couldn't you do that in tales of a basement dweller?
Eh, only in a few paths for one character and that was fairly short.
Lesbo non-sex-fiends? Can that happen?
Well I already had reference to one lesbian that violently threatened the protagonist along with wanting to sex her up, so I definitely got lesbians in there and there will probably a few more before it gets completed. (or at least one will be a bisexual nympho)
Lesbians that aren't sex fiends though? Man that's some way out thinking you got there. If I did add such a thing that might imply that I'm actually writing something a little different after all and that would just be plain nutty!
Suzy's straight anyway (more or less...though I guess a girl might keep her options open just in case)
You better have a reverse-trap path.
It just wouldn't be a strange adventure without Suzy dressing up as a boy, going to her local club under the name of Stu, and seducing an unsuspecting woman.
Lol, you lot just want me to throw in a bunch of lesbian sex scenes.
Hey, if Suzy says she is Stu, then she's male.
So by new-age standards, it's completely hetero.
Trannies and homos are last year man, it's all about being asexual nowadays.
Damn, that's a solid point.
So long reverse-trap, completely hetero sex scene. We hardly knew yee.
Anyway here's the first page
Suzy’s Strange Saga
Things would be so much easier if your name was Mary Sue
“Are you worried about these uncertain times? Do you…”
You’re so damn sick of these Ground Zero commercials you think as you turn the tv off. If you older brother Ben hadn’t shot his family and himself in a tragic paranoid breakdown you can only imagine he’d be going on about how right he was in building that underground bunker out in your backyard.
You look at the time and realize you’ve spent most of the day procrastinating watching tv even though there’s not much on that interests you on tv anymore. All the channels you used to watch that had interesting shit on them now all have shallow reality shows and quite frankly you’ve got enough dysfunctional family drama going on in real life without needing to watch it on tv.
You remember a time when you could avoid most of the mess by hiding out in your basement. Unfortunately you can’t even do that anymore. Ever since dad drank himself to death, the gravy train of living at home for free came to an end.
Without the help of your dad’s pension checks anymore, your older Amazonian sister Kelly said there was no way in hell that she was going to keep supporting the house on her own unless she was the only one living in it. Seeing as she’s a roller derby bitch as well as an illegal fight club brawler, it isn’t like you or any of your siblings were in any position to argue with her.
Your younger brother Peter, having given up his lofty dreams of being a famous movie director now spends a lot of his time in the garage making amateur porn with various guys he picks up at the clubs. He makes enough money through his website that it keeps Kelly off his back. He seems to enjoy what he’s doing and at least he’s not stealing your clothes anymore.
Your younger sister Donna simply moved out and moved in with your best friend Julie who is still the eternal party girl. Really you’re surprised Julie hasn’t caught every STD known to man at this point. To be honest Donna’s had more in common with Julie than you have for many years now. You’re sure Donna’s a lot happier at a “party house.”
As for you, you didn’t have much in the way of options. Trying to get a job has failed spectacularly in this economy. Though your…”unique” and reclusive personality doesn’t exactly help in that department.
A guy that goes by the handle “Grayson” you sometimes speak with on an Internet forum suggested that you should try to sell stuff on ebay and how he’s made a comfortable living doing it even if he tends to buy more stuff than he sells sometimes. You’re no wheeler and dealer though.
Donna suggested that you move in with her and Julie, but that whole scene isn’t for you. As much as you hate dealing with Kelly, you’d also hate having to put up with drunk horny guys (and girls) trying to get into your pants every five minutes, not to mention the loud music, crowds and the ever growing possibility of the cops busting the place for illegal drugs.
Which brings you to your boyfriend Bobby Morningstar who naturally has suggested that you move in with him on several occasions. This would be the ideal solution if it weren’t for the fact that his own family consists of like a million siblings that all live in his cult compound. There’s also the fact that his ex-girlfriend/sister Diana is wicked pissed at you for stealing him away from her.
It’s been an ongoing source of tension between you and Bobby and you wish he’d just leave them all behind and you two could make a life together elsewhere, but his duty to family is strong, as is his faith to the Babylonian Goddess of Chaos, Tiamat which still involves human sacrifices.
Right now you’re having a period of separation with him. Sometimes you think about breaking up with him completely, but then you can’t just dismiss the good times you do have with him. You have that special bond that only a couple could have when one warns the other about their serial killer relative lying in wait for them in the woods. Thank god Bobby took care of your uncle Ed. That had to be the scariest moment of your life dealing with that situation.
Of course none of this delightful recap of past events really helps you. Kelly is starting to get very impatient with you and you fear that your months of stalling are coming to an end.
Kelly’s currently not home, but she’ll be back in a few hours to get a bit of sleep before heading off to her fight club stuff. Continuing to enjoy the time you have to not have to deal with her you go back to procrastinating, which mainly involves goofing off on the Internet, “stumbling” upon a porn site and then using battery powered means to relieve yourself of stress.
Eventually you hear the familiar slamming of the door and stomping around upstairs, which signifies that Kelly is indeed home.
“SUZY! Stop splittin’ the kitten and get yer bony ass up here!” you hear Kelly shout.
You were afraid of this. You clean yourself up a bit, mentally prepare yourself and then head upstairs.
“Hey Kelly…” you start to say, but are interrupted.
“Shut up. I’ve got exactly a couple hours to get some rest before I have to drag my ass to my other job to support this fucking house and it’s a fucking mess! You can’t even clean up around here? Did you even look for a job today? Let me guess you spent the whole day fucking around on the Internet and masturbating didn’t you?”
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ Suzy, you’re goddamn useless you know that? The only reason I’m not kicking your ass right now is because I need to save my energy and it would be too fucking easy.”
Before you can even speak, Kelly continues her rant.
“GET A FUCKING JOB! I don’t care what kind! Just be a contributing member of this household like Peter or get the fuck out like Donna!”
“Kelly I’m trying, but I’m just not having any luck in finding anything, can’t you help me out?” you say.
“Help you out? I’m helping you out right now by supporting your ass! I’ve been helping you out for quite some time! In fact I originally suggested that you could probably become a ring girl at the fights, but you said no because you didn’t want to dress up in skimpy clothing and parade around in front of a bunch of drunks.”
“Kelly, you know I don’t want to dress like that in public, especially not after what uncle Ed made me wear that night…”
“Oh here we go, crazy old uncle Ed! How long you going to keep using that as an excuse? Sheesh, the way you go on about it, you act like he raped you. What happened instead? He got killed, you weren’t even touched and you got a fucking boyfriend out of that deal! Some of us should be so lucky to be in a fucked up situation and STILL come out ahead! You know what I deal with on a regular basis? Steroid freaks trying to break my fucking neck that’s what! You think I’d be making a living trading punches with fucktards if I LOOKED like you Suzy? You got the biggest advantage and you’re just wasting it! What the hell is your goddamn problem?”
You can see that Kelly is in full-blown jealousy mode and shows no signs of stopping. Attempting to walk away will only result in her getting physical with you so the only thing you can do is endure the verbal assault.
“This is sink or swim time sis. You either get your shit together by the end of this week or you’re out on your ass! This sheltered girl act is really fucking OLD! You’re a grown ass WOMAN. Start acting like one! Now get out of my fucking sight.”
You meekly slink back to the basement and leave Kelly alone.
You silently mope for a while pondering what the hell you’re going to do next. You then notice that your phone has been under your couch cushions and on silent all day. Bobby apparently has been repeatedly trying to contact you. Even left multiple texts saying that he really wants to talk, but the mood you’re in right now, you don’t want to deal with it.
You don’t want to deal with anything. You just want to be safe in your own little world in the basement. How you miss those days…
Well today isn’t completely over yet. You’ve still got time to salvage some of it. Hell, maybe you can even make a major change in your life.
Get help from Peter
Move in with Donna and Julie
Try to find a job on the Internet
You lost me after Ground Zero. xD
It's like a super cross-over of all your stories. lol I'm not sure what to say besides the fact that nearly all your characters somehow have a "”unique” and reclusive personality" regardless of the setting. ^.^
Isn't Kelly a character from Tales of the Basement? As well as all of these characters? XD
Yeah, I actually thought it was for a moment... Haha.
HOLY SHIT that's one helluva problem to solve. I like this already. (Even though saving an entire Empire while conquering the whole known world was a problem on its own, it's gonna be hell playing this one. And madglee's A Day in Hell was bad enough)
Oh fuck yes, this is going to be fun to read.
Could use some proofreading (though the writing gets noticeably better as you go on), and I loved Tales of a Basement dweller, so hell yeah for that one.
As Aman pointed out yes, it does have the same characters from Tales From the Basement, specifically Good Girl, because it's a direct sequel.
Or rather it's technically a sequel to several stories and in one case a semi prequel.
I thought the eBay guy sounded familiar. XD
Well it's obviously the prequel to Ground Zero haha.
Sort of even an "interquel" to GZ since these events would be going on during the same time "OmegaMan23" is making his own last minute preparations. (Whatever those are)
So the stories go like this? If I'm understanding all this right.
Tales from the Basment, TRASH, and Geek perhaps? Maybe even Love SICK too.
Suzy's Strange Sage.
It's not immediately obvious but Geek actually takes place back around the very end of the 1930s or very early 1940s. There's very vague references to world war 2 and the Wizard of Oz movie just coming out (which was in 1939) So it's actually the first.
Tales, TRASH, Repression and Love SICK all take place around the same time. When is that? Well it's the present day, but that changes a bit...
Given that Suzy was actually using MySpace and could still find halfway decent programming on Cable TV at the time of Good Girl, it was around the early to mid 2000s. Some of the Tales stuff is "dated" in general at the time it was originally written, but I'm taking a few liberties to change this time line from the our reality. So she's probably about in her mid twenties at the time of Suzy's Strange Saga.
Now I have pondered making Repression set in the 80s or maybe the 90s, for the purposes of making that protagonist older for a possible storyline plot, but I'd have to go back and reread it to make sure it's not too "modern." (Its pretty minimalist, not sure if I made too many descriptions of things)
In any case if it that idea isn't working out, I already got an idea for "Johnny Doe" who will be about the same age as Suzy if Repression gets set during the same time as the rest.
Suzy's Strange Saga would come after all these, then of course Ground Zero.
If you really want to keep hope alive, you could say Paradise Violated takes place in the FAR future after humanity got its shit together from WW3 (or you can keep pretending that's a sequel to one of the Eternal endings)
And this is why it's so much easier to write fantasy. No need to worry about all this kind of stuff.
Endy's Queer Canon : A New Look on Parallel Worlds
Which apparently I'm getting wrong due to failing memory...
I thought Suzy was using MySpace, but that was actually the pervert in Anime Addict who used it to look at underage girls in one of the branches. She just used a chat room type thing when talking with her friend. And now I'm seeing a reference to Youtube in the story so it had to be after 2005 at least.
Anyway fuck it I'm old and I can't keep up with what new technology/social media is hip and trendy to use anymore, they all take place in an ambiguous time of the mid to late 2000s and it doesn't matter anyway because the nukes are about to hit soon. Lol.
What if the earth is secretly more than 9 billion years old, and the Necromancer sealed away all the magic to take with him to the afterlife when he realized his immortality was beginning to fail, and as he and every one of his slaves died, the world began exploding and overheating again and recycled all of the evidence of the necromancer, and all the lands parallel and prior, into the mantle, and over billions of years life slowly began forming again, eventually leading to the world that Suzy lives in, and making it all the same planet and universe all along?
I can't hear Jihelu fapping. It must not be hardcore enough...
Are all in different universes. Though I did have an idea once to set Innkeeper somewhere in the Eternal timeline after the Empire had fallen, but it doesn't work very well, so it's a scraped idea. (Might be in the Legend universe though)
You don't suppose Innkeeper's prior to the events in Legend, right? Before it begins to cater every thug and assassin there ever was?
I had more of the idea that Innkeeper was set a little later during the Legend timeline due to the wider spread of guns and approaching more of a steampunk level of technology whereas Legend was set more traditional fantasy (Though you could still play as an early "technologist" in it)
...for one of the same reasons why the Tower wasn't all that great in terms of plot?
Tower also sucked.
"I'm having a difficult time shutting the hell up"... You have that problem, too, huh?
No snideness or insult in that, I promise. I really do have the same problem very often in my writing. It can be hard to find a good middle ground between not fully fleshing out a world / scene / person and rambling. Nice to know I'm not alone.
Yeah, it's an odd problem since I used to be able to write shorter CYOAs in the past that didn't have 4 page passages.
Can't really do it anymore though. Everything ends up taking on a grander scale, which then requires more detail. And before I know it, instead of writing a quick story where the plot only takes place within a week, I stretch that out to detailed events of each day of that week and include epilogues that take place in the future.
Preaching to the choir. In fact, you may have noticed that I have that issue with replying to forums / comments / PMs sometimes. >_> Maybe my previous lurking was just my way of trying to censor / 'shut myself up,' heh.
*reads entire thread*
Well this looks like fun. Gotta play basement dweller first though
Updated my journal...
4 epilogues, 123 pages, carnival branch finished.
Well that's one down anyway.
Congrats. Now you just have to write... everything else. xD
Updated my journal...
Working on the "Party Route"
Will probably have the great big lesbian sex scenes romances in this one.
For diversity reasons of course.
WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS A MONTH AGO.
ADD A FURRY SCENE PLS.
I love you.
There was a furry scene in the Anime Addict already haha.
Well that should be fun to read.
First time seeing this thread but it looks like it'll be another Endmasterpiece. Can't wait to read.
Updated my journal…
40 pages in on the Party Path up to Thursday for one of the major branches. So far it's turning out similar to what I originally had planned with a few alterations here and there.
In the meantime, gratuitous completely necessary plot driven fake lipstick lesbianism FTW!
Even if you do run, you could easily bump into more military outside.
“We need to distract them. Julie, go run up stairs and try to clean up your face a bit and then doll yourself up with make up. Put on something sexy, like lingerie.”
“Just do it. I’ll call you when I need you.”
“Suzy…I don’t know…”
“Julie, just trust me okay?”
“Okay.” Julie says with a nod and runs off back to her room.
You run into your bathroom and toss the axe and shovel in there with the body and then draw the shower curtain closed.
Grabbing some scissors from the desk, you take your pants off and quickly cut the legs off of them so they resemble shorts and put them back on. You then tear your shirt and tie it up so it’s really accentuating your breasts and exposing your midriff. You then grab some rubber bands and tie your hair in two ponytails on either side of your head.
More banging on the front door and you run into the kitchen.
You quickly put the pistol in a half full box of cereal, which you then put back into the cupboard. There isn’t much blood on the floor, but what little there is, you easily wipe up with some water and soap.
“OPEN UP BY THE ORDER OF THE U.S. GOVERNMENT!” you hear a voice shout followed by more banging on the door.
“Hold on! Hold on! I’m coming! I’m coming!” you shout, running to the front door.
Looking through the peephole, you see two soldiers and a man dressed in a business suit.
“I really hope these guys are straight.” You say and open the door.
You open the door and you lean forward a bit and to the side hoping you look seductive rather than ridiculous (It isn’t like you do this a lot). Judging by the brief pause and the stares, you gather that you achieved seductive rather than ridiculous.
“Miss, didn’t you hear us knocking on the door?” the man in the suit asks.
“Oh, I’m so sorry I didn’t answer right away, I was just so busy with something and I had to make myself presentable. So how can I help you today?”?“You can start by letting us in; we heard a gunshot coming from this direction. Granted that hasn’t been an uncommon sound in other parts of this town, but this neighborhood has been fairly quiet and peaceful otherwise, so we’d like to know if you know anything about it. We already got soldiers searching around your backyard and the immediate area.”
“Oh. I see. Well, you boys come on in and I’ll try to serve you in any way I can. My name is Suzy by the way.”
You turn around and attempt to put a little swing into your walk. You then you’re your head to look back at them and flutter your eyes a bit. You actually feel really silly doing so, but the grinning expressions you see on the two soldiers suggest that you seem to be doing better than you’d believe.
The man in the suit tells the two soldiers to stand by the door and he sits down on couch. You then sit close to him.
“Okay, Suzy. You may refer to me as Mr. Zoll. Now you’re aware this town is under marshal law correct?”
“Yes, we heard loudspeakers outside earlier. It sounded so frightening… should we be worried?” you say.
“I can’t tell you specifics about such things, however I’m sure you’re aware that this town has experienced a vast increase in criminal activity and rioting. More than your police force can handle. So until we get the situation under control again, we’re here to stay.”
Actually you weren’t really aware of that, or at least not to the great extent that it was bad enough to call in the National Guard, but you nod and cross your legs and rub your hand over one of them in a manner that catches the attention of Mr. Zoll.
“You were saying Mr. Zoll?” you ask.
“… yeah anyway…so while this is a state of emergency, we don’t want the citizens to feel uncomfortable. We don’t want to just send in soldiers here to search every house for potential troublemakers. I mean this is still a free country and contrary to popular belief, the government is here to help. At least that’s how I have always approached these situations. Much better to work with people than forcing them against their will. Still, as I said, gunfire was heard from this house and we have to investigate. So I’d like to at least ask you questions before deciding if we need to search this house further, you understand.”
“Oh yes, of course I understand. You have such a difficult job trying to keep our wonderful country safe, I will comply will all your wishes and desires.” You say and then place your hand on Mr. Zoll’s knee in the process.
This is enough to cause him to smile nervously, but takes your hand off at which point you smile and giggle in return.
“Okay first of all you keep using the term ‘we’ is there someone else here?”
“Oh yes. I’ll call her down. Julie! Could you come down here? There is a man that wants to ask us some questions about the gunshot earlier.” you say standing up from the couch.
Julie appears and thankfully the girl has pulled out all the stops. She’s wearing purple lingerie underneath and her legs are covered by purple stocking with garters. She’s also wearing all the usual makeup that makes her look like a cheap whore and that’s definitely a plus right now since everyone is looking at her. Julie walks down the stairs in such a manner that continues to keep their eyes on her. While she probably knows what some of your plan is by now, the rest of it is probably going to surprise her.
“Mr. Zoll, this is Julie, my life partner of many years. Come over here and sit sweetie.” You say taking a seat in a chair.
Julie is indeed surprised by this, but quickly knows to play along. The two soldiers meanwhile can barely keep their mouths from hanging open. Mr. Zoll is better at keeping it together, but he’s unsure of whether to stare at you or Julie and where!
“Julie. Don’t sit all the way over there baby. Come over here.” You say and pat you hands on your lap. Julie now has a bigger smile than anyone as she hops into your lap and puts her arms around you. You then give Julie a kiss on the lips; Julie however gets a bit overzealous by slipping you the tongue and grabbing one of your breasts.
“Now, now, honey, we have company.” You say smiling and putting her hand back. “I apologize Mr. Zoll, but we plan on finally getting officially married soon, now that it’s become legal and we were sort of celebrating before you knocked on the door. We’ve been friends and lovers for so long that its so liberating to long at last have the freedom to do what everyone else does. Did you know we came out to each other when we were sixteen? It was almost magical how we just knew it was so right in that high school shower room… “
Now Mr. Zoll crosses his legs because he’s probably hiding a big boner. The soldiers at this point are unsubtly “rearranging” but it looks more like they just want to whip it out and start whacking it. Zoll manages to get back on track.
“Ladies, I really need to ask about this gunshot so let’s get to it.”
You and Julie say you heard a gunshot behind the house and not much else. Julie then mentions that she saw someone through the window jumping over the back fence, but couldn’t make out what they looked like. Then she describes what they look like they were wearing from the back.
“All I know is I was so scared that I hopped right back into bed and held on to my Suzy.” Julie says and hugs you a little tighter.
“There, there, it’s over now. These big strong men are here to protect us from lawless scum like that.” You say looking at Julie and rubbing her legs.
You turn back to Mr. Zoll.
“So that’s all we know Mr. Zoll. I hope it was helpful. As I said if you must search this house we understand, but I as a law abiding citizen of this country I do hope it isn’t necessary.” You say to Mr. Zoll who looks like he’s trying to scan you for deception.
“Nah, I don’t think that will be necessary. You two seem like a nice couple that just wants to live your lives and be free to do… whatever you want to each other in the privacy of your own home. Whoever is dumb enough to run around in this neighborhood firing off guns is bound to fuck up soon and we at least know a partial description now. Okay anyway, onto the second reason for my visit. Do you need anything? We’re not just here to keep order, but to help out as well. While you’re quite aware that you can’t leave your home, we could bring some basic supplies like food to you. So anything?”
Any other time you might take them up on the offer, but right now you just want them gone.
“Perhaps another time. Nothing right now thanks.” You answer.
“Well hopefully for all of us, this will all be over soon. Okay, I leave you two ladies.”
Mr. Zoll tells his men that they’re leaving (who seem very disappointed). A few more glances back at you and Julie and soon they’re out the door. It’s over and you’re safe.
“Holy shit, I can’t believe we pulled that off.” You say slumping a bit in your chair and breathing a sigh of relief.
“Oh Suzy, that was fucking genius!” Julie says who is still in your lap and hugging and kissing on your face.
“Stop, it’s over now, get off my lap. I still got a body to chop up and to dispose of.”
That was amazing!...
Although I probably would have figured something was going on as soon as Lucy got involved, but of course, that was completely necessary.
You had me at furry.
HA! I'M CURED!
Anyhow, sounds like some of your IS stuff or something a hardcore CHYOO consumer would read.
Nah, it's more teasing rather than actual sex. Which is aprops since Suzy's a big tease in a lot of scenarios (On purpose and on accident).
Well, in a non-sex scene on CHYOO (from what I've read so far), the majority is some level of mild violence, teasing, a smoothie of romance and lust, or a rape attempt...
Regardless, I think they'd enjoy it regardless. :P
I'm guessing you already told the guys at IS?
Last time I checked the CHYOO forums, the place is actually "dead" now. Or rather a bunch of them started up a new site for Porno CYOAs. The original site still exists, but they're trying to direct everyone to the new place.
Anyway CHYOO is too strict on the violence aspect for me. Like they don't really want people writing stories with extreme violence or outright rape (as opposed to "mind control") in them, so I'm sure a few stories of mine wouldn't get accepted there anyway.
As for IS, yeah I posted current progress on this story awhile back in our "Current Projects" thread that we all post in every now and then about what we're currently working on. That place is pretty quiet right now as usual. (Until it's time for the contest deadline then everyone will suddenly posting several times for about a month.)
You turn around and attempt to put a little swing into your walk. You then you’re your head to look back at them and flutter your eyes a bit. You actually feel really silly doing so, but the grinning expressions you see on the two soldiers suggest that you seem to be doing better than you’d believe.
'You then you're your head'
This part doesn't make sense. Great page though!
Can we turn Suzy into a slut? I've been trying to do that in Alter Ego but it isn't the same
Haven't decided if there's going to be a "complete whore path" yet.
The "danger" of doing such a path of course isn't so much of an inclusion of a bunch of sex scenes (I can always just fade it to black or gloss over the act without getting graphic) but rather the stereotypical thing of just writing an attractive female protagonist so she's doing nothing but fucking guy after guy (or girl) to get her own way which I'm sort of trying to avoid since there's a ton of stories that do that already.
The funny thing is for this Party path I actually did have plans to maybe go that route, but it ended up turning out slightly different. Still have a couple more major branches for this party path, but I doubt if they'll go that route.
The Cult path could go that route I suppose and now that I'm thinking more about it, that particular storyline might actually be MORE fucked up if I do give that option, so now I'll probably definitely do it.
You could finally demonstrate the proper way to write about the legendary AIDS Crack Whore! And in a cult setting, no less!
Updated my journal…
61 pages on the Party Path and just completed one epilogue. Probably will have two more for this path.
Was sort of difficult to write the last few pages of it. Even had to go back and change a couple things from previous passages. Always hate that when you're almost finished with a path, but you need to get it "just right" so its more plausible as far as plot line is concerned.
Sometimes this means cutting out other ideas that were originally envisioned, but I'd rather have everything flow right.
That's great to hear and all.
How are the slut scenes going?
Not going to get to those for a while.
Updated my journal
94 pages written so far on the "Party Branch."
Holy shit, is it time consuming to write the set up for a plausible "romance" between a serial killer and someone who isn't a complete sociopath. A lot of writing, re-writing, splitting passages, and changing choices for getting over that hurdle.
It's done now though thankfully.
Oh yeah that's right, I've been talking more about this situation through PMs with someone else rather than in this thread.
Anyway, I was having some difficulties in writing a plausible "romance" between the protagonist and a serial killer in the story. It was due to their personalities as well as trying to figure out a way to set up an event that could cause the protagonist to be more receptive to the serial killer.
Well as I said after a lot of rewriting and changing stuff around, I managed to come up with something that works for me. Now I can move on towards focusing on the other major events that will occur in the story.
This story is just getting better and better. XD
Obviously all you need to do is have the serial killer save a puppy or kitten. That redeems all bad qualities of a person.
Updated my journal…
126 pages written for this branch and two more epilogues completed bringing the total to 7. One more to work on for this major branch then moving on to the cultist branch.
When you say pages, you mean normal pages (word, etc...) or your pages on CYS (Usually much longer).
Well technically I've got 253 pages total written for the whole story. In both cases I'm just referring to the amount of pages I have written on a Word document.
Usually one story passage is about 4 pages on Word, so probably about 63 CYS (or IS) pages.
And you said you would be taking a "break" from writing ;)
Can't wait to read it.
So, out of these 63 pages, how many have lezbo sex?
Probably a lot less than some would hope.
Remember it's QUALITY of the lesbo sex, not quantity.
Well at least that's what I've always believed, but then I've always been a bit old fashioned.
Yeah... I guess you're right...
That lesbo sex better be good, or I'll rip out your heart.
The funny part about this is that I thought End actually had a heart when I typed this,
Prequel to "Ground Zero" you say? I am going to love this so very much. Ground Zero is still my favorite CYOA style game
Not really a prequel since it happens at the same time. Sort of.
Think this might tie into a new path for Ground Zero?
That would be cool.
Nope, other than references to the Ground Zero Corporation, it doesn't directly tie into any of the Ground Zero protagonist's story lines. I thought about tying it in a little more, but decided it would be best to keep it separate even if it is taking place within the same timeline.
Even the other stories that this one is tied to are generally left vague so as to avoid any particular "canon path."
Basically you could easily read this story and not need any knowledge of any of the others.
I suppose Good Girl has a canon path now since I did deliberately choose one of the endings to allow for certain plot line potential in this story, but again you still wouldn't really have to read it before hand since everything important is explained in the beginning. Plus it was a shorter humorous story anyway so I didn't really feel like I was "limiting" it.
Why not make a canon universe for all your stories? Like, make an ending in each game canon. On the matter of Ground Zero canon, I think you should make epilouge 2 or 3 canon. I haven't read your other stories, so I can't say which ending should be canon and which ending shouldn't. I've said canon a fuk ton of times in this post.
Well with TRASH there really isn't any need for a canon ending. The great thing about TRASH is one can imagine that even if Mel was successful in getting a job and making Tina happy in an ending, one can easily imagine the money was long since pissed away and they probably had the same argument all over again (many times). While some of the endings could be ruled out in the first story, most of them could've easily happened before the events of this story.
Repression was a little harder. In my mind, I sort of ended up combining a couple of endings that resulted in "feelings" for the protagonist. I just never really make it too specific which ones those might've been. The reader could guess what endings those might be due to events that occur in certain path however (and the order that they might've occurred in.)
Geek was about the same as Repression in what I did with it. I narrowed it to a few of the endings and didn't get specific with which one. Though again the reader might be able to draw conclusions to as which one probably happened, but in the case of Geek it's a story that happened MUCH longer ago and it's being told by a second hand source who hadn't even been born yet, so details are muddied.
Haven't decided what to do for Love SICK yet, but that one is similar to TRASH in that other than maybe one or two of those endings, it doesn't really matter which one "really happened"
Same is true for EBay Escapist. He could've ended up buying ALL of those items eventually and just experienced weirdness in a different way. No need for too many specifics.
You didn't say what ending you think should be canon for Ground Zero. Other than that, I don't think you need any help coming up with a canon for all your stories.
Didn't plan on a sequel for GZ anytime soon, so no need for me to worry about it!
Never made it official or anything, but one could imagine that Paradise Violated is the FAR off sequel to Ground Zero, long after humanity got their shit together from a devastating nuclear holocaust.
Of course then you have others that imagine that Paradise Violated is a sequel to one of the endings to Eternal.
Ground Zero honestly earns best storygame ever award in my book, so I definitely look forward to an official sequel to it. But overall, I'd prefer for you to make epilouge 2 or 3 canon. Or you could make epilouge 1 or 4 canon.. Whichever epilouge you liked best as the author.
Updated my journal…
Added a new major path (Trailer Park), which means even more writing and putting the Cult path on the back burner, but will add a couple of extra epilogues.
Still planning on the Gray Building path, not sure about the Sick path yet. I almost feel like that one would require a change of protagonist for it to work better. I guess I'll have a lot of time to think about it.
Updated my journal
Still working on the Trailer Park path which is up to "Friday" now. I hate it when you have to rewrite the same passages over and over again to get the story just right. It really slows down the process and makes you less enthusiastic to write in general since you feel like you aren't making a lot of progress. Even more frustrating since I had the most free time to write this week.
But I think I finally got the current path back on track exactly how I want it and that's at least a big plus. Of course now the free time is gone!
Oh well, I'm going to at least try to finish an epilogue within the next week.
Like you said about the 90 minute storygame competition (I think you said it like this): "...it takes me 90 minutes just to write a page..." So it's no surprise it takes a long time to write the story.
Basically. It was sort of weird that the recent zombie thread coincided with what I happened to be working on at the time though...
As you’re getting dressed and figuring out what your next plan of action should be, you suddenly hear a bunch of giggling outside and what sounds to be a thumping sound on the side of your trailer.
You look outside and see a bunch of children outside. Weird that you never noticed any before, but then you remember thinking it was odd you were in a trailer park and there weren’t any children running around. (Or at least weren’t running around before the military and cannibals showed up)
You step outside and one of the smaller kids suddenly stops bouncing his ball against your trailer.
“See, I told ya that pretty blonde lady lived here.” One of the boys says.
“Hey lady, did you see the zombies yesterday?” another asks.
“Tommy, they weren’t zombies ya moron! They were just crazy people!” a girl shouts
“How do you know Jenny if you’re so smart?”
“Cause my mama shot one in the chest and it died! Zombies only die if you hit ‘em in the head!”
At this point the children begin arguing about zombies until you interrupt.
“Where are all of your parents?” you ask.
“Oh most of ‘em are arguing over by that asshole Mel’s trailer. All the adults are there.” One of the kids says.
“Whatever they were, they sure were scary. I hid under my mama’s bed the whole time.” The small boy says continuing the previous conversation.
At this point the oldest boy, who looks like he might be thirteen at most boldly comes up to you.
“Hah, I wasn’t scared. I even shot one of those things right in the face! Pow! See, I’m not a scared little kid like the rest of them here.” The boy says puffing up and making gun gestures.
“Hmm, I see.” You say.
“So since I’m a man, how about you let me protect you?”
“Ha ha,, no I don’t think that’s necessary.” You answer.
“What? You a dyke like Butchie Billie? Come on’ baby, I can give it to ya good and change your mind!” The boy says and then attempts to reach around to grab your butt, you stop him before he can by grabbing his wrist.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing you little shit?! Have you lost your fucking mind?” you say and start pressing your grip tighter.
“OWWW! Lemme go you crazy bitch!” the boy cries and then you twist his arm behind his back.
“That’s right I AM a fucking crazy ass bitch! My uncle was a goddamn serial killer, my ex-boyfriend was a cultist, and I just killed several of those fucking cannibal freaks yesterday without blinking. Now get the fuck outta here before I do worse to your little ass!” you say in his ear and kick him off the steps of your trailer.
The boy goes face first into the dirt and while he quickly picks himself up, he just glares at you and runs away. It’s obvious he’s going off to cry somewhere.
“Hahahahaha! That was so cool what you did to Alan! Can you teach me to do that?” Jenny asks.
“Was your uncle really a serial killer?” Tommy asks.
At this point the children that aren’t afraid of you are in semi-awe of you. Oddly, you’re kind of enjoying the positivity and you start interacting with the rest of the children who are very talkative about the various drama that has occurred in the trailer park. Sort of interesting information actually. You also learn that most of these kids don’t even know who their fathers are. It keeps your mind from dwelling on less pleasant events recently anyway.
While you’re wasting time with the children, you see one of the trailer park inhabitants running up to you. It’s that methhead Dan.
“Hey! Hey! Hey blondie! They need yer vote!” Dan exclaims.
“Vote? Vote for what?” you ask.
“We need a tie breaker to shoot the ones that got bitten or not. Billy Ray in particular ain’t lookin’ too good.” Dan remarks.
“So what are we doin’ if we don’t shoot ‘em?”
“Guess we’re goin’ back to town for more medical supplies, but if we do that, you’re probably gonna have to come too. Need as many people as possible to help.”
“I think they should shoot ‘em just so they don’t turn into zombies!” Tommy shouts.
“You’re an idiot Tommy, I just said those things weren’t zombies! I guess they could still turn into something though. I saw another horror movie like that once.” Jenny adds.
Out the mouths of children dubious wisdom flows…
You’re guessing the ones that got bit aren’t fathers of any of these kids because none of the kids are begging you to not kill their daddy. Or at least the kids don’t know that they are.
Vote to shoot
Vote to not shoot
Why not shoot the kids? They don't seem remotely competent enough for the world they live in.
There are a few reasons why she wouldn't do that, but it isn't like Suzy would have any reason to just start killing kids. (Even Alan)
I feel like playing Ground Zero again. lol
Just remember Fireplay, playing Ground Zero is endorsing RAPE.
got about 3 choices in before the main character raped a girl. oh, but don't worry, she ended up "liking it." i don't care that it's fictional, there's really no situation where that line of thinking is acceptable. no thanks. excuse me while i vomit all over the writer's delusions. can't fathom why this is one of the sites top stories
-- sventastical on 9/7/2014 12:44:56 AM
Oh, because the office had a massive orgy... But hey, what else can you expect from EndMaster's stories?
Wait, is Mel a reference to the guy in TRASH?
Yeah that's him. Like I said, this one is basically a sequel to several stories and a prequel to GZ.
Alright... I hate it when I don't know what to write in my reply.
Dude, it's well written. But that's a story I'm going to be skipping, I'm afraid.
I have like, no appetite for gross stuff.
Very well done, however.
Updated my rape journal
At last, I've finally finished an epilogue in this trailer park branch. Still thinking about one or two more epilogues for this branch. Who knows how long that will take. In any case have to go back and finish up all the side branches. So far 325 pages total written out on Word.
Strangely finding this path hard to write mainly because Suzy doesn't have much in common with the people there so it's been a lot of rewriting to set up plausible interaction (Well as plausible as you can get anyway)
Well she's just less outwardly fucked up than the rest of her family, but she's far from normal.
She had/has a boyfriend that engages in human sacrifice and she wasn't really bothered by that fact or rather as long as she didn't have to see or hear about it, she could cheerfully ignore it.
How descriptive is the sexual assault? 0_o
No more graphic than usual, so "R" rated I guess.
"R" rated or "X" rated? You've had a bit of both in your stories. ;)
Well so far any choice that results in Suzy's rape and following demise/dismemberment, is a premature ending so I usually write about how you suffer the horrible pain of violation before being killed, but it's not like I'm writing a play by play on the act itself.
So far Suzy herself has not sexually assaulted anyone in a path, but I suppose it could happen.
Well that's nice.
Does she shoot the kids?
I actually rewrote some of that scene I recently posted, so it doesn't quite play out entirely the same way, occurs elsewhere in the story and the choice is different.
Still always a chance of her shooting some kids either in this path or another though.
*I love shooting brats.
So...how many pages HAVE you made? O.o (AKA progress report)
I mentioned 325 pages total on Word a few posts up (A little more now since I've added since then).
If you're wondering how many actual passages in the story itself, hell if I know. I usually never know that myself until the site calculates it when I'm posting it on here or on IS.
I'm about to finish up the 9th epilogue though. Not sure if I'm going to bother with another one for this path since I sort of want to get on with the cultist path and I still got a lot of minor branches to sew up for this path.
The story is turning out longer than I planned, but that seems to be how it goes most of the time.
Updated my journal...
Finished the 9th epilogue. Yay.
Anyway Swift was asking for an update and Malk was asking about how graphic it can get, so here you both go...
You already got an idea of how to get the truck keys from Dan, but it’s not something you’re looking forward to…
Mustering up your mental fortitude you prepare yourself for the unpleasant task ahead.
Your group goes into the grocery store, which must still have on some sort of emergency lighting where upon everyone begins to carefully search the place. While there has been some looting and even signs of fighting that went on here, the place is in better shape than anyone thought.
“Hey Dan, the medicine aisle is over this way.” You say while gently grabbing his hand. Dan is more than a little surprised by this gesture.
“Oh. Okay, lead the way then. Everyone else keep stockin’ up on whatever food you want. ” He responds.
When you lead Dan over to the aisle you remind yourself of what your goal is…
“Damn darlin’ it looks like this aisle is mgh!” Dan is interrupted when you kiss him directly on his meth rotten mouth. It tastes horrible and it’s only due to your strong gag reflex that you don’t puke.
Dan is flabbergasted; he literally is at a loss for words.
“I gotta suck your dick right now Dan. It’s all I’ve been thinking about since we were ridin’ in the truck together. Shit, I woulda went down on you right then had there not been an audience in the back of the truck. Come on we can go into the bathroom of this place.” You whisper in his ear.
Dan is still tongue tied, but at this point he’s not arguing and passively follows you as you lead him to the women’s bathroom in the back of the store. You make sure nobody has seen the pair of you enter and then lock the door.
“I…I…I can’t believe you felt this way about me darlin’. I mean this is gotta be a dream.” Dan says.
“Ain’t no dream, now back against that wall, pull ‘em down and let me get to suckin’ what’s gotta be a big ass dick. Gotta have it. Gotta have that juicy hot throbbing cock in my mouth.” You say.
Dan’s fantasies of an insatiable cock hungry hot blonde have probably been fueled for years by endless amounts of porn he’s no doubt watched. So it’s predictable that he doesn’t even question the unlikelihood of any of this at all.
He wastes no time in putting down his rifle and unzipping his pant. It’s an unimpressive sight. It’s even more unimpressive when you’re on your knees, eye level to it.
“Oh my god, this is gonna be better than drugs!” Dan says even closing his eyes as if preparing himself for the glory that is your mouth. Unfortunately for him he gets none of that and instead receives a FALCON PUNCH to his balls.
Dan’s reaction causes him to practically crumple onto you. He manages to wheeze a few swear, but you then shut him up by smacking his head against the bathroom wall, he groans a bit and still tries to grab a hold of you, but you stop him completely by pistol whipping him in the face until he’s no longer moving.
You aren’t sure if he’s dead, but you’re not really paying attention to see if he’s breathing by this point, you’re too busy looking for the keys…jackpot.
Then you hear some banging on the door and you freeze with your pistol in hand.
“Hey, who’s in there? I heard some noise. Is that you blondie?” you hear a voice exclaim.
“…uh yeah it’s me! I had to take a shit and there were just some big ass rats in here that scared me so bad I almost dropped a load in my pants! No big deal though!” you shout.
“Oh…um okay.” The voice says. “Um, hey you seen Dan?”
“Thought I saw him still over by the drug aisle.”
“Yeah he’s not…” the voice starts to say before you interrupt.
“Goddamn it I’m trying to take a shit that feels like I need a goddamn midwife for this thing! I’m not Dan’s personal fucking shadow, go look for him yourself!” you shout.
“Okay! Okay! Sheesh, you don’t need to be a goddamn bitch about it.” The voice says and then you hear some footsteps leaving.
Well that will have bought you a little time, but when you leave, you need to make a beeline for the truck and hope that nobody is lingering around it at the time. Since you get the impression you’re going to be shooting it out with the rednecks anyway, you take Dan’s rifle over your shoulder.
You exit the bathroom and look around to see a few of the rednecks still stocking up on some more food. You quicken your pace towards the entrance of the grocery store while attempting to keep your head down so nobody immediately sees you.
When you get to the entrance there’s one of the rednecks loading up something in the back of the truck. You think its Jake from earlier.
“Everything come out all right?” he asks meaning he must’ve been the one talking to you from outside the door earlier.
“Yeah, yeah.” you say looking around if there are any others you need to deal with.
“Y’know, maybe you wouldn’t be so backed up if you tried anal.” Jake says with a smirk.
“Ass fucking sweetcheeks. It’ll loosen you up back there. I’d be more than willin’ to help you out in that department honey.” Jake says with a grin.
And at that point, you’re done with stealth.
“And here’s a new hole to loosen up your useless brain matter shithead.” You say pulling your pistol blasting Jake in the head. You don’t wait for the body to fall, you run into the truck.
Dammit, why the hell did you put me in the same sentence with Malk?
Love you too.
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or wince at the FALCON PUNCH.
I can't wait for this game to be finished. The main character is more fun than a barrel of Ebola ridden monkeys.
*laughs* xD Nice scene...
RE-Updated my journal…
Finally rewrote all the pages that I accidentally saved over and saved the rewrites correctly this time.
Most of it was the same from memory, but I made some changes. I think the rewrite turned out little better anyway (Or at least I'm telling myself that)
Good job. :)
Eh ... it probably did turn out better. Re-writes usually are smoother than rough drafts, so ... *shrug*
So what I never got was Suzy became a dweller.
I mean ok, the anime addict was your regular otaku degenerate from /a/ and the ebay guy was just a lazy fuck (besides that branch was just random anyway) but Suzy is that smart and pretty girl who has 2 really social people next to her (friend and sis). I just dunno why she'd end up in her situation... and what sites could she possible browse?
Wallflower, extremely introverted, slightly fucked up upbringing, really fucked up family, incredibly lazy, unmotivated, social cripple, etc.
Plus it's going against the stereotype of all basement dwellers being fat loser guys with no redeemable qualities. I pretty much made her the opposite of that as much as I could.
She's a little less of an introvert in this partly due to having had a boyfriend, but she's still not a social butterfly at the start.
Depending on the ending she pretty much changes completely by necessity.
As for what she's doing on the computer, mostly playing games, reading useless weird shit and watching porn.
Well, that's answered, back to my vacation.
How close do you think you are to being done?
Dunno. I have a few more passages and possibly one more epilogue to finish on the trailer park path. Then the entire cultist path and the internet path which is planned to split at least into one other major path.
A little less than halfway I suppose.
Well finally back from vacation and can finally do a proper update from a place with proper internet access and keyboard.
Didn't have my main notes to work on the remainder of the Trailer Park path, but since I hadn't worked on the cult path at all, I needed no notes to refer to and could easily work on that instead.
Finished "Monday" for one branch of the cult path. Got a few ideas of how its going to go, but already it's coming along a little different than first envisioned. (As most ideas do)
Anyway here's some of it…
Bobby ends up turning off the main road to an unpaved dirt one leading further into wilderness. Just as you're wondering how much further, you see the compound (surrounded by a high fence with razor wire of course) and it's certainly big enough and imposing enough to make any cult leader jealous.
"Shit, it looks like a small prison." You say.
"Yeah my dad and some of his brothers were constantly adding on to this thing for decades. To be honest, it isn't even completely finished. I mean it's more than sufficient for several people to comfortably live in, but there are many rooms that are just the bare minimum of four walls. Towards the back where you can't see from here, there are some portions of it that are exposed to the outside. However, seeing as there will be a bunch of us living here now, I think we'll at least be able to finish the place up, and in time make even more additions."
"Didn't know your dad had brothers."
"Yeah three older, and one younger. A younger sister too, but none of them will be coming here."
"Oh. Wait, all of them are dead?"
"No, the two younger siblings, Uncle Francis and Aunt Sally are still alive. In fact Francis and Sally live in a house together south of town. But let's just say they aren't exactly believers in the faith and chose a different path instead...I'm sure you've heard of the Ground Zero corporation especially with all their annoying infomercials and ads everywhere nowadays."
"Wait, seriously? You've got family that works for GZ? You never told me that before either." You ask.
"My dad wasn't really on speaking terms with either of them. Long story. Anyway, technically just Aunt Sally works for GZ. Dunno doing what, but I think it's important. Uncle Francis just lives with her and spends most of his time indulging in his pointless experiments, though I know he does some black market organ shit on the side." Bobby explains.
"I guess you couldn't get your aunt to pull a few strings and get set up in one of those shelters they're always trying to sell huh?" You say.
"Actually I did contact her during the recent family video conference. She told me that we'd all be much better off in dad's slightly unfinished compound than in one of those shelters. Apparently half of those things are death traps or something. She said even though she wasn't a believer, she still didn't want to subject her nieces and nephews to the fate of being in one of those live-in mass coffins."
"Well that was nice of her to look out for you."
"Yeah, she always was one of the nicest people in our family. Dunno why she's with Uncle Francis, the guy is a psychotic asshole to practically everyone. Good doctor though. Anyway, let's see who's on duty tonight." Bobby says pulling up to the large gate.
After turning on a light switch, Bobby takes the lead.
"Come on, down this corridor and through a couple of rooms."
"This place isn't quite as spartan as I imagined. You've got some rather nice carpeting and even the wall coloring is fairly cheerful." You say walking and looking around.
"I told you, this is our home, we have to live here comfortably. We're not trying to create a psychologically oppressive effect to break down the willpower of potential followers, so what's the point of having a depressing drab gray everywhere?"
"Makes sense. The artwork you got up is pretty...interesting as well." You say glancing at the various strange pictures hanging up ranging from multi headed dragons to gory scenes of sacrifices.
"Oh, yeah. My grandmother painted most of these." Bobby replies.
"Really? Well, she certainly made some vivid scenes. That one with young raven haired naked lady holding the bloody dagger surrounded by the corpses is pretty detailed. Probably the best one of the bunch." You say being supportive.
"It should be the best one considering that's a self portrait of her. Took her a few months to finish it apparently because she wanted to get the color of decay just right for the bodies. Yep, she sure was talented."
Bobby stares a bit at his long dead grandmother's naked image for a moment until you wave your hand in front of him.
"Sorry, it's a bit hypnotic at times. Like the eyes follow you." Bobby says.
"Hrmmm. Sure it's not two other things?" You ask.
"Ha ha, well gotta admit Grandma was pretty hot back in the day."
"That...would be disturbing even if I wasn't your soon to be wife." You remark. (Though you’re not really THAT disturbed given what you know of Bobby’s family)
"Oh I'm joking, you know you're the only one for me." Bobby says and kisses you on the cheek before saying you'll be heading up some nearby stairs.
Soon to be wife? Noice
Yeah, I didn't put the sex scene marriage proposal scene that happens before these events.
Are there any orgies with that guy's sisters? Will our children woo each other?
Oh and is that Goddess they worship the same from that OLD "asshole" or w/e story you made. Where an uncle of you was a serial killer and thought he had Aztec blood
Nah, not related. Bobby's family worships Tiamat, the Babylonian Goddess of Chaos.
As far as orgies, well this would be the most likely path for them to occur. Stay tuned.
This is going to be a CLASSIC!
Updated my journal...
Trailer Park path is finally complete, now full focus can be on the Cult path.
So far 393 pages total and 10 epilogs completed.
Holy damn, this could get the vacent feature in modern adventure.
Somehow I wouldn't be surprised if Endmaster gets another featured story. lol
10 fooking epilogs, i'll come back in a month or two to read it
Updated my journal…
Up to "Thursday" on the cult path (For one of the major branches on this path). Pretty much have a good idea how the rest of the storyline for how all the branches are going to go on this path.
This path in general sort of changed from the first vision of it, but as it sometimes happens ideas get changed up. Besides, I don't think the first vision would've been appropriate for this site and the way I'm doing it now works just as well.
Anyway, here's another slice of Suzy's life.
“Okay, I want some answers, who the hell is Misty, and what’s going to happen today?” you demand.
“You’ll find out soon enough what’s going to happen and as for Misty, well why don’t you put some thought into it. I mean it’s pretty simple even for you blondie.” Bobby’s grandmother replies with slight distain.
“Well what’s deal with all these contests in my dreams?”
“Sorry, I really don’t know anything about that. If you’re lucky and actually meet Misty, maybe you can ask her, but I just assumed you really liked dreaming about sucking dick...in a symbolic way I guess. Hmm, come to think of it this would explain why Bobby’s so enamored with you. Maybe you aren’t a whore blondie, but you sure got the mouth of one. It’s almost as if it was a highway for oral sex.”
“Don’t take offense blondie. It’s a good thing. Suck a man’s dick right, and you can practically get him to do ANYTHING for you. I mean you got natural talent. Hell, maybe even Tiamat blessed you with it so you stood an equal chance against Diana. Now that girl, as much as she loves Bobby, she just can’t suck a dick properly. Bad gag reflex, slightly oversized teeth, I dunno. Tiamat works in whimsical ways I suppose.”
“How do you even know all…nevermind I don’t want to hear anymore.” You say.
Bobby’s grandmother ignores you though and continues to speak.
“Still, Bobby always did have a slight obsession for blowjobs. He likes them a lot more than he’s probably told you. He’s a bit too much of a gentleman that way. He’s also into girl on girl stuff, but what straight guy isn’t right? Sort of surprised he never tried to…nah.”
“What?” you ask hesitantly.
“Multiple wives. Tiamat allows such an arrangement, but like I said Bobby’s too much of a gentleman to suggest it. Besides, I get the impression Diana’s a bit too possessive to ever want to share. Though I sort of get the impression that under the right circumstances, you on the other hand wouldn’t be opposed to the ol’ scissoring action every once in awhile.” Bobby’s grandmother cackles.
“Hey, it’s okay. I mean just because you like the occasional taco, doesn’t mean you like sausage any less. I think your dreams prove that you’re still majorly into dick…”
“Gah! I’m done listening!” you shout feeling increasingly uncomfortable about hearing Bobby’s grandmother talk about his sexual interests and making assumptions about yours as well.
“Oh, alright Miss Prude. I’m rambling and it’s time for you to go anyway. See ya Deep Throat!” Bobby’s grandmother cackles again and then raises her cane and all your surroundings go black…
And then you wake up.
“Something bad is going to happen today.” You say to yourself. (Then again why should today be any different from the rest of this week?)
I still find disgusting fucking someone who had incest. Thus imma do the lezbo part first, I hope there is a 3way with a dude in there cause that would make it bisexual which ain't as bad.
Is the gramma a GILF or does Tiamat not favor people with eternal youth?
Grandma Morningstar's age appearance tends to change up a few times since you're interacting with her in a dream and she's long dead.
She probably was a GILF for awhile though when she was alive though.
Updated my journal…
First update for the new year. Wheee!
Completed the first epilogue for the cult path bringing the total to eleven.
Probably would've been done sooner, but I got to a couple points where I had to go through several rewrites because the plot lines leading up to the events I wanted just weren't flowing right and seemed messy.
I think I've hammered out all the details though and shouldn't have as many problems for the other main branches leading to epilogues in this path now that certain events have been established and I can build around them.
Hey, you wanna see something really scary?
Had a new vision of the last epilogue I wrote. Went back and rewrote part of it. While I felt the original version of it was good, and would've still fit the tone of that path, I felt it needed to be just a little bit darker.
Needed just a little more of that edge.
Just a little bit more of that sickness.
It's also a lot funnier now too.
Anyway, 11 epilogues 448 pages so far.
... I get the sense you're hinting at something incredibly fucked up.
Updated my journal…
Completed the 12th epilogue. I think one more should do it for this path and then its just a matter of tying up all the dead end paths THEN I need to decide if I want to do yet another major branch or release it and be satisfied with how it is when this major branch is finished.
I can always decide to add the other major branch later if I want to.
This is going to be epic...
I await with more eagerness than a Japanese schoolgirl at the business end of a giant squid.
Wow, you started this thread 9 months ago.
Yeah, I imagine I might've been farther along than I am if I just had the time.
Really have to try doing a shorter story again one of these days. Ha ha.
Completed several dead end paths. Figured I'd get them out of the way before I finished up the last major cult path.
After the cult path is finished I'm starting to think I'll be adding two more separate major paths as well. Not sure yet though.
Anyway, don't think I've ever included choking on a dismembered dick as a way for a protagonist to die yet.
If I have, oh well it's in this story too now.
Well here's some very minor gurl on gurl ackshun for some of you perverts folks to get your giggles.
“Geez Helen, you look like you always got your hands full, are you really okay looking after all the children all the time?” you ask.
“Oh…it’s not so bad. I mean like I said, we’re all family. What’s family for if not to help one another? Besides, I know nobody else really wants to do or otherwise has other major responsibilities.”
“What responsibilities do Veronica and Brandon have? I haven’t seen them do anything since I got here. I mean they got three kids, and they’ve obviously been taking care of them before coming here. They shouldn’t just be passing them on to you just because it’s convenient. You deserve to have your own time to yourself.”
“Really it’s okay Suzy. I like looking after all of them. Besides, I don’t think the children would want someone other than myself doing it anyway. When you and Bobby have children I fully expect you’ll want help on the supervision front won’t you?”
“Well…probably. I was talking about this subject a little to Bobby last night and to be honest I’m still not exactly enamored with the notion of popping out a bunch of them. The idea of the pain involved isn’t exactly something I’m looking forward to.”
“Well I don’t think any woman looks forward to that part. It’s the joy of bringing a new life into this world, raising them and loving them.”
“I…guess…I dunno. Hell I’m still having trouble with the concept of marriage, let alone kids.”
“Oh? Is it the ritual sacrifice to Tiamat that’s got you squeamish?” Helen asks.
“What? Wait. I know you guys sacrifice people, but is that going to go on at the wedding?”
“Well of course. It’s tradition for the one to marry into this family to prove themselves to be worth of Tiamat by making a sacrifice.”
“Wait, you mean I’M going to be the one doing it?”
“Well yeah…you mean Bobby didn’t tell you? Oh dear. I didn’t mean to ruin the surprise.” Helen says.
“Oh it’s a surprise alright. Oh geez…” you say and rub your hand over your head.
Helen pats you on the back a bit and tries to look understanding.
“I take it, you’ve never killed anyone before?” Helen asks.
“Of course I haven’t! Why would I?” you exclaim.
“I just figured you having a serial killer uncle and all…plus Bobby said you helped him kill your uncle.”
“I didn’t really have a hand in that directly. Are you saying YOU’VE killed someone before?”
“Oh yes, but I’m not exactly fond of it, but we all have to do our part to serve Tiamat.”
The fact that Helen just told you so cheerfully and without any hesitation that she’s committed murder, makes her seem a lot less harmless in your eyes.
“Wait, so how many? When?” you ask.
“Oh not many. First time was about when I was Jordan’s age. However, since Bobby is the head of the house, he mostly does it. Just like our father did before him. Diana sometimes does it, but I try to avoid doing it unless I really have to…I know I shouldn’t feel anything for infidels, but sometimes I can’t help it. Then I try to remember that their souls are going to feed Tiamat so it’s all for a good cause.”
This is nuts…
Right now you’re just wondering how deep of shit you’ve gotten yourself into.
“I…dunno if I’m going to be able to do this Helen…” you say.
“Oh don’t say that! You’ll be fine!” Helen says trying to be supportive.
“I don’t think I will. The most fucked up thing is, I’m still more worried about having kids!”
“You still concerned about that? That will come naturally, I don’t think you should worry.”
“I dunno Helen. I’m obviously not like you. I thought we were more similar in many ways, mainly because we both had to put up with an asshole older sister, but it’s turning out we’re pretty different. I mean unlike me you’d obviously make a very good mother. You’re nice, attentive and everything.” You say.
Helen’s eyes light up a bit when you say that and she grabs your hand.
“Thank you. You have no idea how touched I am right now to hear those words.” She says and then leans in quick to give you a quick peck on the cheek.
It surprises the hell out of you and you recoil a bit. Helen’s expression turns from one of happiness to one of worry.
“Oh no. I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have done that! By Tiamat, what was I thinking. I’m so sorry Suzy!” she starts saying which causes a lot of the children to start watching the pair of you.
Helen stands up and begins to panic still repeating to you about how sorry she is, you think she’s going to have an anxiety attack.
“Helen. Helen. Calm yourself. It’s…well…it’s okay. I mean I know you were just trying to be friendly and didn’t mean anything else by it. You just caught me by surprise, no harm done…” you say.
“No…I can’t…you’ll have to excuse me!” Helen suddenly says and runs off. You try to call her back, but she’s gone.
You wonder if you should tell someone or go after her. Then one of the kids speaks to you.
“Hey what’s wrong with Aunt Helen?” Hannah asks.
“She’s having a lover’s quarrel with her girlfriend.” Ione says smirking.
“She is not! My sister isn’t a dyke! Besides this woman is Bobby’s girlfriend!” Jordan remarks indignantly.
“You’re just saying that because YOU like Aunt Helen!” Leon says and then makes kissy noises, which causes Jordan to punch him in the arm.
At this point they look like they’re going to get even more unruly, but then one of the twins speaks up.
“She loves Bobby you know.” Aiden says.
“Yes, Aunt Helen loves Bobby very much.” Nadia adds.
“You and Diana must…” Aiden continues.
“…die.” Nadia ends.
The creepy tone they say it in causes utter silence, not to mention sends a bit of a shiver down your spine.
“Um…are you telling me… Helen plans on killing me and Diana?” you utter.
The twins just look at each other and smile. They don’t say anything else and just calmly go back to their game.
They’ve also managed to successfully creep out their brother and cousins who start to leave the room.
Meanwhile you don’t know what to think.
Go chase after Helen
Go seek out Bobby
You know something bad has happened when no one replies to an EndMaster update for more than a week.
It's not like you're playing as a god like wizard warrior or wasteland bad ass so it's not like it going to generate as much interest. The thread is sort of more for me to keep my focus anyway.
As long as I keep a public reminder of the story, I have no choice but to continue to work on it.
Eh, I suppose you're right. Anyway, just surprised considering this thread used to be so active but now it's more empty than Fallout 3 (I liked the game but the world was just so barren, it overkilled on the loneliness factor).
Completed another epilogue, or rather did a complete rewrite of one. Basically the "12th epilogue" wasn't working with where it was originally placed. Rewrote that path a couple times then reworked the 12th epilogue for a different path where it made better sense. 135 pages so far for this branch.
Should be completing the 13th epilogue soon, just need to write out about 5 more passages leading to it.
Then it's onward to the last major branch.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! It's almost done!
Finished the 13th epilogue. Didn't plan on the cult path being so long, but it was and it's done now. The endings for all of them turned out a little differently than I envisioned (Lot of rewrites). At first I thought maybe the path would be too twisted when I first envisioned it, then after some changes, I was concerned it wouldn't be enough. But as always, I believe I found the right balance.
I think this one was easier to write in some ways because there is less overlap with other paths, but it also presented its own challenge since it was a whole new independent storyline so I was trying to get it "just right."
One more major branch to work on. This one may or may not be shorter, not sure yet. I've got one big idea in mind that I really like, but I'm still trying to figure out how to work it into the story in plausible way.
Hoorah! It's almost done! Jesus Christ, how many pages is this?
What's the final branch gonna be about?
Well so far I got 529 pages written on Word.
As for what the idea for the final branch is: Gray Building.
I thought about just releasing it as is and not bothering with the last path since it's most likely going to be an even greater departure from the other paths. (Even less overlap than the Cult path) But this was an idea I had from the beginning so I figured I'll attempt it, plus like I said I came up with an ending for it that I'd like to try to implement.
There might even be another minor path within this last one so this might be actually be two completely separate story lines.
Is that from eBay escapist? XD
Yeah, the weird ass Gray Building that does weird things including, but not limited to, sending people to other dimensions.
Awesome, ha ha.
woah that is AWESOME
Speaking of which...
I'm hardly being a mini-mod. Mostly just for the threads I made.
Wait, Tan called you a retard and you're annoyed with getting called a mini-mod? Lol. And I only said that because I've seen you alert Seth a lot lately.
Anyway might as well give an update next post.
Oh, I'm not annoyed lol. I just figured I'd have to have something to say while burning daylight in my educational facility so...yeah.
Why don't you just post it on Bhb? XD
SoCal upgrades on school firewalls, but not better classes (but we are tearing down buildings in the facility too, so that's a plus)
Updated my journal…
Still have plans to write the Gray Building path (Which is currently on Tuesday), but right now I'm currently working on the "Sick path" which is going on Thursday.
Basically after thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that it really needed to have a proper path rather than just a couple of premature endings. Also this branch is sort of the "some answers revealed!" path which I wanted to have in the story.
Unfortunately all this means is more writing and longer to finish, but it also means a few more epilogues. Have no idea how many this story is going to ultimately have at this point. 15 at minimum, but I imagine it might be more than that.
Anyway here's an excerpt of one of the newer passages.
As soon as you walk in, you briefly scan the shop and find it completely empty save for a bearded middle-aged man with a ponytail at a counter staring at you. He couldn’t be more of a stereotype of a “comic book guy.”
“Well…hello. You lost or something? The beauty salon is down the street…though I believe there was a shooting or something there earlier.” He says.
“Um, no. I’m here about the job. Are you Jake?” you ask.
“That’s me. Now what job are you talking about exactly?” Jake asks while looking at you up and down. The guy is already probably thinking several dirty thoughts about you and at this point you’re really hoping this guy doesn’t turn the whole job thing into some stupid line about giving him a blowjob.
“The job openings I found on the internet for this place. It said you needed someone to move boxes or work the register.” You say.
“Oh yeah, I’m not even sure why I posted that. In this current economy I can barely afford to hire one employee and lately I’m wondering if I can even do that.” Jake says.
“Shit, does this mean you’re not hiring?”
“Well…considering you’re easy on the eyes, I’m not going to say I’m NOT hiring. Besides you’re the only one that’s even applied so far. You’d think with all the fanboy nerds that practically live at this place one of them would’ve offered to fucking help me out. (Sigh) Whatever, you got your resume?”
“Resume?” you ask.
“Yeah, when people tend to apply for jobs they usually have one. I mean not that any of the tasks here are brain surgery, but it’s nice to have some basic information.” Jake says.
“Oh. Well I don’t have one.” You reply.
“Seriously? You came in here for a job without a resume?”
“I didn’t think I’d need one.”
“You didn’t…alright can you give me any references then?”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“I can’t because I don’t have any.”
“Jesus Christ…do you have ANY job experience whatsoever?”
“Do you even want a fucking job here?” Jake asks getting exasperated.
“Not really, but I want to run around half naked swinging on a pole getting ogled, slobbered over and groped by horny guys for a living even less, so this place is currently my only option for my desperate situation.” You say.
Jake laughs at your comment.
“Well at least your honest, but if you think you’re not going to get ogled and slobbered over by guys here, you’re sadly mistaken. You do realize this is a comic shop right?”
“Oh come on, there has to be female customers that come in here.” You say.
“Sure, but they don’t look like you and you’ll probably get a couple of them awkwardly hitting on you as well. On the bright side, none of the nerds here are probably going to try to grope you. They’ll be far too shy to try that. No pole swinging either, but feel free to run around half naked. I guarantee something like that would really help out business.” Jake says with a smirk.
“Yeah, not happening.” You reply.
“Didn’t think I’d be that lucky. Well despite your total lack of skill, I suppose I’ll hire you, I do have to ask one thing first though…”
And here it comes; he’s going to ask you to do something sexual and you’ll be heading out the door…
“Do you even read comics?”
Well that was unexpected.
“Well, I used to when I was little, but my older sister Kelly just kept taking them from me and either hitting me with them or tearing them up, so I didn’t see the point anymore.” You reply.
“Jeez, that’s not fucking right. You should’ve kicked her ass.” Jake says.
“Yeah well that wasn’t possible, she’s ten times bigger than me. In fact that’s why I applied to this job, she’s threatening to kick me out of the house.” You say.
“Hmm, sounds like a similar situation that I had with my last assistant. His mom was threatening to kick him out of the house and he begged me to hire him. He was a pathetic little worm addicted to all that anime shit. Really he was a lousy helper, but given that the one I had before him just died in my bathroom, I figured I’d give the fat little anime addict a shot.”
“Wait someone died in the bathroom here?” you ask.
“Yeah my retarded assistant strangled himself in my bathroom while jacking off. Spent the damn day cleaning the bathroom because of it.”
“Uh, the other assistant didn’t die in the bathroom too did he?”
“Nah, he ended up marrying his crazy cousin and lives in the trailer park outside of town I think. Dunno what he does now since he never comes in anymore which is a shame since the pervert used to spend a fortune in this place.”
“That’s…interesting. So about the job.” You say steering the conversation back on track.
“Yeah, about the job. I’m guessing you’ll want to be working the register…what is your name anyway blondie?”
“Suzy, and why are you assuming I want to be working the register?”
“Because I doubt a little thing like you really wants to be lugging boxes around, I mean unless you’re trying to tell me you can’t do basic math.”
“Of course I know how to do basic fucking math!” you snap.
“Okay, sheesh. Calm down I didn’t mean to imply anything. So you’re working the register…”
Jake has still already made the decision for you about what job you’re going to be doing and while lugging boxes around really doesn’t appeal to you, you’re still a little insulted that the option has just been taken away from you.
Besides the sexist implications that you aren’t strong enough to do the other job because you’re female, you get the strong impression that Jake also just wants you at the register so you’ll be more visible to all the horny virgin nerds that come in this place.
And the more you’re thinking about the fact that you’ll have to interact with the public in general if you’re working the register you’re finding it about as appealing as lifting a bunch of heavy boxes around.
Then again if you antagonize Jake over this, he might just throw you out of the shop and then you’ll have no job.
Stick with the register
Argue about your job
Eternal had a word count of 648,067 according to the IS stats.
Doing an approximation on the various Word docs I have for Suzy, the current word count is: 239,627. (Second highest for my stories)
I do still have quite a bit to finish, but I don't think it will be bigger than Eternal. At most I'm thinking this will get in the 400,000 range.
It's just taking a long time due to other real world things getting in the way. I do believe this will be finished before the end of the year though.
Here's a quick list of word count and pages.
Some of these might be slightly higher on IS due to a couple extra pages, but since this place doesn't have a word count stat, I'm using the IS one. It's still more or less the same.
Eternal: 648,067 words 495 pages
(Suzy will probably go here)
Legend: 234,162 words 1,313 pages
Ground Zero: 141,414 words 196 pages
Necromancer: 69,783 words 107 pages
Innkeeper: 62,420 words 75 pages
Alpha Wolf: 61,532 words 143 pages
Death Song: 52,269 words 69 pages
Tales From The Basement: 41,916 words 109 pages
Paradise Violated: 39,997 words 130 pages
TRASH: 37,970 words 113 pages
Geek: 23,333 words 49 pages
Imagination: 21,182 words 32 pages
AVSCYS: 20,633 words 50 pages
Exploitation Theater: 18,150 words 22 pages
Repression 14,713 words 101 pages
Love SICK: 9,792 words 32 pages
Generally I separate the major paths onto different documents so it's much more manageable.
I don't really have a word limit so much as I try not to go past 4 pages on Word per passage, however with Eternal and this story I've sort of had to wave that limit several times and the new limit is to not to go past 6 pages on Word per passage.
But there's even times where it goes past 6, I do really try not to do that though. As for the choices, I just put a little asterisk next to the ones I haven't written out yet.
I generally keep another document just for notes (also for names, places, characters, events etc) so I don't forget which paths I've worked on, I'm currently working on and which ones need to be worked on.
Updated my journal...
Another epilog completed.
Just need to finish up another one for this Sick path and tie up all the loose ends, then I can get started on the Gray Building Path which will definitely be the last.
I already got one epilog in mind for the GB Path, trying to think of another one though.
Updated my journal…
Tied up all the loose ends in the Sick path. Decided it didn't need another short alternate plot line so that's been cut since it wasn't working and I didn't want to waste anymore time trying to shoehorn it in. The sick path I think works better as a shorter one anyway.
Anyway, with that finished, finally moving on to the Gray Building path and then this story will finally be complete. Still haven't decide just how many epilogues this one will have. Guess I'll see how the writing goes and take it from there.
GREY BUILDING!!! XD
That one too.
50 Shades of...?
NO. In fact I even changed the Ebay guy's name just to avoid any association. (Originally he had the last name Grayson)
For some reason you always think I'm going to have some sort of S&M sex storyline. I remember you thought Eternal was going that route with Semra.
I suppose you could poke fun at it (though I imagine it'd be hard for you to do that without working more than you need to), this time.
I usually just ask because I'm curious on how you could interpret the whole "shit on me / I will shit on you" thing comically.
Currently in the middle of "Wednesday" for the last path. Trying to finish up the dead end paths as I go forward with the story, so that when I'm finished with the last epilogue, I'm completely done with this story and there won't be any need to go back and tie up loose ends.
So far, turning out slightly different than I first envisioned, and the ending I had in mind for this path will be slightly altered due to this change, but it will still work. Will probably be completely appropriate too.
Still not sure if this path will have more than one epilogue, while ideally it's always nice to have more epilogues, but I'm getting to the point where I really want to finish this story and post it. Still, if I come up with a good idea as I steadily move towards the finish line with this, I'll definitely make the effort to add it.
I'm guessing about 17 more passages minimum to finish up. So I think around another 70 pages to go.
Good luck, ha ha.
Perfectionism really slows everything down.
Wednesday complete. 12 passages to go.
Completed another day, 7 more passages to go…
Actually no, I'm back to 17. I figured out a good split in the storyline, so more pages to write and at least one more epilogue.
I've been here for like 2 years now. I've only read your stories (ALL OF THEM) and like 10 others. So yeah, finish it already, I want to read something!
Drako, he can't just write seventy pages... Unless he wants it to be shite.
Nigga I don't care about quality.
Well, most of the site and I do.
Inb4 Seth censors you.
Do what you gotta do, man. I'm sure everyone who reads it will agree it's worth the wait.
Updated my journal…
Completed another epilogue bringing the total to 15. I didn't plan that last one, but I'm glad it turned out the way it did since it's much different than the other one I had originally planned.
10 more passages to write, so I'm guessing about 40 more pages to go.
Updated my journal…
5 more passages to write which is around 20 more pages.
Slowly getting there. It's amazing how long those last few bits can take to write even when you already got the ending in mind.
Two more passages to go.
*throws celebratory orgy*
How am I not surprised?
Damn, must have been a short orgy if nobody came.
What, we get walked in on?
So I just thought of this insult, so how about instead of aiming it at somebody I just say it:
You so BLANK that you can't even get laid at an orgy!
Okay so the above does not pertain to orgys like yours, Malkalack.
When this is released, I will be able to die happy.
REALLY updated my journal...
It is done. Meaning that I've finally completed writing everything I'm going to write on the damn thing. All 704pgs on Word of it. (And 16 epilogues) And definitely backed up on a second drive.
Obviously I haven't posted it yet, but I'll try to get to that sometime within at least the next four days.
When I do, I'll make a new thread in the Parlor Room.
You've been writing this game for a whole year?
You rock Endmaster.
If it's all in one doc, I'd love to know what the total wordcount is.
Nice to hear