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Well this contest was a fucking shitshow.

The only “feels” this contest managed to incur is disgust and loathing. Granted I feel that way most of the time about all of you, but this only enhanced that experience.

A few of you fuckers didn’t even fucking try and just fucked off somewhere and the rest of you just sat around with thumbs up your gaping assholes and bitched about the shitty site fucking up, ultimately turning in subpar work as usual just to save your miserable hides.

Let’s just get on with it.

PIT OF SHAME

AllenKudzu
Author4
awesomeness12
Bannerlord
BenCrucifix
betaband
Bilbo
bjhovey
Blazewhisker
BlueThread
Cat2002116
Claw2k11
Comply
corgi213
Crescentstar
curtain64
DiniTheWizard
Doodled
DungeonLord
Everwriter
frank2
ISentinelPenguinI
JeffreyJabs
jep49
Journeyman
jster02
Kwism1127
Lallafa
Lancelot
lunamoonia1
NekoCat
p1_tjc
Providence
QingBo
RainGem
Raki
Rathalon1213
resistor
RoyalGhost_007
Seto
ShowMeTheCode
SixtySnakes
SkullyZombies
Slasher
Thotfodder
unturned
XNeoBurritoX

TWICE SHAMED

Chanbot (Ford)
Flamenod
MasonJarGuzzi
MinnieKing
Mr.Mustachio
Plelb
Yellowbelly

Meanwhile there was MrAce who had one last chance to actually improve his station in life and he couldn’t even do the bare minimum to do that. Well much like the government, we follow the three strikes law and have no more time for your bullshit.

Congratulations, you’re the first fucktard to get yourself banned for failing to turn in anything for a contest three times. Ironically, that’s probably the biggest achievement you’ll ever achieve in your life.

BANNED AND SHAMED

CallMeFriend (Boringfirelion)
LADYHEAT24
MrAce
Negative (multiple times)
temporaryaccount
Tot

Finally, I didn’t think I’d need to bring this out again, but some folks are just determined to go above and beyond for epic level of fail.

END’S CELL OF ETERNAL DISAPPOINTMENT

Digit
Ebon
insanebutvain

I have no damn words for this. Well actually I do.

I mean Digit failing this spectacularly I suppose was inevitable. But Ebon, holy shit. I mean this is the guy who brags as much as Steve about writing stories that are going to kick everyone’s ass.

Not only did he get upstaged by Wibbons who he had an ongoing rivalry with for this contest, but he failed so fucking hard that worse writers than Wibbons even did a better fucking attempt. I mean coins turned something in.

FUCKING COINS IS BETTER THAN YOU.

Let that fact sink into your fucking skull the way my dick sinks into his mom.

And in case you dickheads are wondering why IBV is in there with you lot, well that’s just my way of making things more amusing for me.

Also, if you’re thinking it’s a mercy to be in a cell with a female of low moral fiber, I’ll remind you both that she’s been branded a scarlet color for a reason.

You’ve now got shit they don’t even have names for just by breathing the same air as her you lazy faggots.

And here, enjoy some “mood” music that will be playing 24/7 while you’re at it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCuR-GUlJzM

Anyway, that’s a wrap for this SHAMING, and you fuckers were more terrible than usual.

Does this mean I'm not in the Pit of Shame either?

Nope, you pulled yourself out.

Groovy. 

Congrats ^v^

Too bad Killa had that cut off date to entering in the first place, just think of the harvest of souls you would have reaped if the usual number had joined and failed at that rate.

I'm pretty shocked and disgusted too, both at Ebon's pathetic failure and at Wibn's painful success. Buy being beaten by an anime fanfic as well as someone like Coins is frankly what he deserves and I hope this will teach him a lesson in humility.

I stated flat out and with confidence in the forum itself that Ebon had this contest in the bag and now he has betrayed me.

The only thing that could have made his punishment even more poetic is if Digit had managed an entry while phone typing like he did for the last too, thus rendering Ebon's whining about not having a laptop for part of the time completely moot.

But alas today I'm also left disgusted with Digit too for squandering the faith and time I was willing to place in assisting him...although that's not a dramatic change from how I usually feel, right now it's just inspired by different circumstance.

Anyhow, we'll have to see if the disgraced Sir Ebon can at least keep his vow of chastity intact while sharing a room with both Vain and whatever body pillow waifu Digit managed to smuggle in, as well as cataloging whatever exciting new hybrid super kawaii desu crabs they all wind up with, for science.

Nothing like narrowly avoiding the cell of eternal disappointment amirite?

Anyway Mizal told me to make sure Ebon feels extra SHAMEd so uh... You suck Ebon, even fucking Coins got a halfway decent story out.

More like the Cell of Eternal Crotch Rot now.

Or as Malk said in the Villain Lair:

"Why the fuck is IBV calling me edgy? This is a girl who literally wipes her ass with her own abortions for fuck's sake."

Glad to see something is able to get poor Malkie good and angry still, he just hasn't been himself lately.

Anyway I appreciate you thought to include Vain in there, Digit is too much of a beta and Ebon too much of a puritan for any of the good jokes to work with them alone. Left to their own devices they're probably just play board games or something.

and the list extends ever nearer to including half the site

Killa accepted my entry. No SHAME pit for me ^_^

Hooray for you!

Yeah, I found myself really reluctant to just churn out something when I knew I'd lost inspiration. I'll work on getting more site points by actually finishing and publishing my current works and the next contest I enter, I'll complete something and pull myself out of the pit of SHAME.

Just wondering, though, why are some of the names bolded in the first list? Does that mean anything, or...?

Those are the brand new additions, as opposed to the lazy scum who have just been languishing for months without lifting a finger to help themselves.

I'm listening to this song while reading this thread, and the image I'm getting is of a woman wearing a 1960s sun dress, dancing and smiling while chopping people up with a massive butcher knife. I'm seeing her yellow elbow-length plastic gloves and apron splattered in blood and gore, and little particles of bloody vapor floating in sunbeams leaking in through the gap in the curtains. I envision her spinning around and dancing before bringing down the knife over and over again while her gagged, tied up victims slowly succumb to blood loss and shock.

I don't know, maybe I'm sick. But what a song choice.

Honestly an excellent song choice for a gem of a thread. This is a splendid tradition.