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Alright, you pathetic pinheads. I know some of you are connoisseurs of finely crafted insults. I have created this thread for sharing artful and devastating literary insults of your own creation or not.

I suppose we could also just insult one another.

Piss off

Fair

Hi Petros

I don't like those implications, you s/him

So you're saying it worked...

Perhaps, but such meta insults have pretty limited utility

You're less than the optimal version of yourself.

Oh, man. How could I possibly cope with this vague, yet objective fact?

Just like how you cope with the fact that, being a rock giant, your member tears through and kills any one you attempt to have sex with, effectively making you a perpetual virgin for eternity

Well, that is certainly something you chose to say

Whachu gonna do about it, big guy?

This feels like flirting, and I suppose I should've expected homoeroticism from a "hot dog" wizard, but I did not

Idk man, I think you’re the master at being gay. After all, who else goes to a Waffle House and makes out with the fry cook?

Let's scroll up and see where the gay started here

Ok, fair enough. I see your point.

My eyes are up here

I acknowledge and concede to the argument that you put forth in this thread

I don't think this was supposed to be the complement thread

Nah it’s still an insult.

Superman can’t get pussy for the same reason because of his superpowers so he’s at risk of killing anyone he has sex with, that’s why he gives off such virgin energy.

While Batman, being a billionaire, swims in pussy, so he’s a lot more morally grey and complex, and has cooler storylines.

If you're going to try and insult Petros, please attempt to restrain yourself from using "big kid" words. He just isn't going to understand

See, Ogre's good at this. I may come up with a halfhearted comeback when I'm done sobbing in the corner

Your wife is a hobby horse.

Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.

You scullion, I'll tickle your catastrophe.

There's no more fight in thee than in a stewed prune.

Your stupidity is no accident, it is your birthright.

You are pigeon-livered, and you lack any gall.

You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me from interpreting that you are so.

Your brain is as dry as a biscuit after a long voyage.

A man of culture I see. I swear I didn't get these from Shakespeare. Chivalry soundboard. All Mason Man-at-arms.

At least it wasn't totally gay

"What a comedy is your defiance!"

Sharp as a marble, that one

And as straight as a circle

He's been in a footrace with wisdom since he was born, and wisdom has yet to catch up.

He was seen wearing only one shoe. When he was asked where he lost the other one, he said, "No, I found one."

Lord, throw some brains from the heavens (or a rock, as long as it hits its mark)

Wisdom is the product of learning from others' mistakes. I've become a lot wiser with him around.

Everyone has something they're good at. Even he can make people smile, like after he gets pushed off a cliff.

Your genes are weak and your children will not survive the winter.