Rum Runner's Tale

General Recommendation: A short and fun game for those looking to learn this history behind bootleggers in 1900s that makes good use of the item system.
Preview: Can you successfully smuggle alcohol without getting caught?

=SPOILERS BELOW=

General notes:
This game takes the infrequently-done idea being a bootlegger and makes a game out of it. The pace of the game is good, with the player staying long enough in each “area” to get a feel for it, but not lingering so long that it feels worn out. This game has a lot of character to it, due in part to the pictures the author provides, but also due to the way the scenes and characters are described. Many historical games often feel like they have modern characters and locations playing out against a historical backdrop, but this game really captures the era.
The length of this game is also an asset, it’s a simple plot, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome. A more detailed game could certainly be made on this topic, but this game is a good size for what it is.
This game has an original concept done well, it's clear this is a subject the author did their due diligence in researching, and this game is very well-presented.

Specific notes:
-I don’t usually like informational links or background information, but in a historical story with such a specific setting, the first page introduction is necessary. The font and newspaper image make this information an effective tone-setting page rather than just an infodump.
-I really like the use of images in this story, I think they’re particularly helpful due to the historical setting. They add a lot of character to the game.
-I’m not sure what the point of using these items is when the game prompts the player to use one whenever it’s needed.
-The inclusino of historical figures is fun and amusing.

Grammar:
All good here. This game had a good amount of polish go into it, and it reads very smoothly. Kudos.
Mastery of Language:
This narration seems well-proofread and reads easily.
The dialogue is done script-style, which is generally not as good as prose.
The paragraphs are extremely spaced out, you might want to not double space in this format.

Mechanics & Coding:
-In general, the coding in this game is good, the items work where they’re supposed to, and you have some fun challenges, such as choosing whether or not to give the strangers on the train alcohol or water.
-There’s a number of places where there are no clickable links, and you can only use items. This isn’t a problem as the player has the items, but for increased polish, you might want to include clickable links on these pages.
-It’s easy to softlock this game just by not picking up an item. This isn’t a problem, but if you want to go the extra mile, you can code it so clicking the link picks up the item for you.

Branching: Not much. It’s more of a puzzle game than a narrative game, so this isn’t much of an issue. That said, some of the “death” endings felt a little out of the blue.

Player Options/fair choice:
Generally good, though there’s a couple places where it’s not immediately clear what needs to be done, and some of the “death” endings felt uunforeshadowed.

Nitpicks:
-I think this might be more of an edutainment game than a historical game—you’re clearly trying to educate the reader about rum runners, and it’s a little too linear to be a traditional storygame.

WRITING ADVICE:
-Yikes! Reset game instead of an endgame link! You may not be familiar with this taboo, but on CYS it’s considered very poor form to give “reset game” links instead of endgame links. I strongly recommend changing these to endgame links if you have any plans to edit this game, as it will strongly affect how people rate your game.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I got attacked and killed for asking a simple question about payment options.
Was this a school project by any chance? It has that feel to it.

CONCLUSION: A short and fun game.

Well what a ride! After just finishing reading The Great Gatsby, this was a really interesting look into the world of bootlegging.

Synopsis:
Play as an illegal bootlegger in the era of the prohibition, dodge the cops and make your way to The Big Apple for a night to remember. This story game includes historical figures, which is something I’ve not seen before.

Positives:
-Amazing grammar and spelling, which should be the status quo but isn’t with some games. I don’t think I caught a single mistake, and I was actively looking.
-This story makes use of the era it was set in amazingly well. Your motives are clear and I really felt for my character every time they were jailed or killed, since it seems so unfair by today’s standards. The references are all accurate, at least according to the Wikipedia articles I looked up. More than anything else though it blends entertainment and story into a symbiotic structure, something that seems difficult to do. As someone who was already curious about this piece of American history, this story has got me looking into the subject matter more closely in my own time.
-The item and inventory coding worked wonderfully. Every item has a purpose, even if it wasn’t what I originally thought it might be.
-The interaction with the undercover prohibition officers left me feeling smart after solving what to do.

Things to improve:
-This game is very linear. There is only one ‘good’ ending, either that or you are killed or captured. I would have liked to see an alternate route where you sell the alcohol for yourself and become a booze-baron or something similar. Many of the times I died also felt unjustified, such as being killed by the contacts in the first interaction for saying the wrong thing. There was no indication this would lead to my immediate execution: some sort of foreshadowing would’ve been nice.
-Most of the items can only be used in specific places, and sometimes I felt like I could’ve used other items in their place. For example: in the interaction with the homeless man I couldn’t give him my wallet or waterskin. There was no real reason why not, other than it would’ve broken the game down the line, but I feel the bad endings that these choices could have caused would’ve fit with the ‘not being kind while being cautious’ nature of the narrative.

Overall this is a linear game that is interesting if you like the era it is set in. It communicates its educational aspects well and is fun to read, but is held back by the lack of branching in its narrative.

Well, as an avid alcohol 'enjoyer', I feel it is only right that I leave a review for this game.

Firstly, while this game is fairly short, I feel like it has the foundations of a pretty fun experience overall. The inventory system was simple enough to incite some thought, while not slowing down the pace by having to try item after item to get through a page.

Secondly, I believe this game would benefit greatly from a lengthening; either from an extension of the main path, or an additional path perhaps. The additional one, could consist of another facet of alcohol smuggling. Such as those that would race liquor across the country with their souped-up vehicles, or a moonshiner having to operate stills while being one slip up away from jailtime.

Lastly; well done on making a subject that would routinely put me to sleep during my time in school, somewhat more interesting than I had previously thought. I think this was good beginning effort, at least compared to how most first time stories turn out.

(I also liked the historical texts thrown in here and there for additional information. But, I could also see how someone might prefer a "show, don't tell" approach. Either suits me fine however, if I'm being honest.)

fun!

It’s Incredible!

This was fairly fun: the item function was used well but seemed a bit unnecessary at times while some of the choices also seemed a bit random and pot luck whether you made the right one or not. There were a few typos as well, but this seems a pretty accurate portrayal of a 1920’s rum-runner and obviously a good amount of research went into it. I’m not sure why for speech the script-form was used but the pictures were used particularly well and overall I thought it was a pretty fun and well-made game, good work!

Spoilers Below

I played this game and I think this game deserves a well-written comment on it. I've spent hours trying to beat this game. This was much harder than I expected and I will warn you. But, without further ado, here are my thoughts:

Historical Accuracy: 6/8
This is a storygame that takes place in the 1920s; where Alcohol has been banned and people still secretly trade alcohol. You get to meet Louis Armstrong, who was young and not yet famous. There are a few misaccuracies (Like the marsh in the train station), but overall is good.

Plot: 5/8
I have to say the historical aspect on the storygame is very interesting. This storygame takes place in 1923, and you are a bootlegger who was to deliver alcohol from the caribbean, through New Orleans, and to New York. This aspect of history has not been focused on many times; like other storygames in this genre. However, the plot was mostly linear and does not branch out often. But, it's still enjoyable.

Gameplay: 3/8
i thought the branching was bad in CYOA standards. The plot never branches out, and every other choice either leads to death or imprisonment, which makes you start over. This game was especially hard for me due to being item-based. I don't think this storygame deserves a 4/8 Difficulty rating, and should be higher. However, the items are logical and make sense. All the links work, except for a few.

Overall, I recommend Rum Runner's Tale for it being very interesting. However, the difficulty is higher than it's posted rating.

There was only one way to be able to win the game, and if you forgot it, you were screwed.

I literally died 3 times trying to find where it was. The only way you can successfully make it to the end was in the beginning of the story!

It was a good story and seemed historically accurate. They mentioned the bootleggers and speakeasies, you encounter alcohol checks and prohibitionists that try to put you in jail.

You see people that were prominent in the prohibition, including:
Bill McCoy, a real-life bootlegger in the prohibition
Louis Armstrong, the musician, plays at a speakeasy
Izzy Einstein and Moe Smith, who tried to find bootleggers

overall rating:

Historical Accuracy: 9/10
Enjoyment of playing: 8/10
Character Writing: 4/10
Worldbuilding: 6/10
Satisfaction: 2/10
Emotion: 0/10

Not great to play for fun
But for educational purposes, it would be fine.

It was one of the best stories I've ever read!!!

Neat little story game. It’s pretty much exactly what it says.

I like the part with the undercover prohibition cops- makes it more of a story than “use this item here or you can’t move on”

Also, I feel as though the “no links” pages should be fewer in number. Maybe you get yourself in some trouble if you don’t have that item, or something of the sort.

Overall not bad. Not bad at all.