Under The Bridge

I'm very disappointed with the linearity of this storygame. Many options could have been chosen by the reader, but instead, we had to go a long with what was already chosen for us. By implementing more choices, the length of the storygame would soar, which would boost your ratings quite a bit as well.

The writing is average, nothing special, but it's not that bad either. It didn't pull me in and make me lose track of time like some storygame here, but it had my attention. I quickly lost interest after dying on the second link I clicked.

I hope that you take into consideration my opinion and update this storygame accordingly. I think that it isn't that bad overall, and with some tweaks, could become a great story. Until then, my rating will not change, and nor will my opinion.

2/8

It is not easy for me to rate this storygame as there is so little to it, basically you click two choices and the game is over. It is one short scene that the reader is thrown into, with not much rationale behind the story (although I did laugh at one of the endings). I think this segment could be good with some polishing and connection to a broader story, but in the end we only have a very brief scene of what should be a tiny part of a large story, and I’m a little disappointed that there weren’t any riddles/puzzles for the reader to try their hand at.

The dialogue and character reactions were entertaining enough to lift this up to a 3/8.

Haha, in hindsight, the fact that this was in the Fantasy Adventure genre instead of Puzzle/Mystery should have tipped me off, but I was surprised and amused all the same.

Lots of lampshading and harpooning of classic fantasy tropes, witty dialogue, and some of the funniest game over pages I have had the pleasure to read. It was very well written, even if it was very, very short, and I'll save it for a rainy day when I need a chuckle.

That being said, it's was too short for me to give it a higher rating, but what's there is certainly worth the five minutes it takes to read! I'd love to see this game expanded upon, because I'm a sucker for sarcastic and fourth-wall leaning fantasy humor.

3/8 - It was okay but I didn't feel like it was a puzzle to me. Would not recommend to others.

I would have liked to answer an actual riddle rather than being told haha you're dumb! Other than that, my only complaint is the brevity of the story.

I wanted more riddles and trolls! It could've been an interesting concept where you're trying to get to the inn but every time you cross a bridge a troll makes you answer a riddle.

Also, I noticed a couple of spelling errors as well, but nothing glaringly obvious. I rated it 3/8 but will rate it higher if you make it longer.

If this story were...10 times longer it would be pretty good. As it stands it would be better as an amusing forum post or two in a short story thread. I didn't dislike any part of it, there just wasn't very much.

It's like opening a carton of ice-cream and finding just enough in there to piss you off. If I were willing to publish games with this little content I would have about 50 published games with endings like, "Then your journey had a new destination"

Damn this was written a long time ago, but the call to rate one random story game a day compels me to respond.

Positives:
-This game is pretty funny. The troll actually being your teacher from high school made me smile and the bit about trolls actually being paid to guard bridges is definitely going into my dnd campaign at some point: that stuff is golden.
-The writing is decent. As many others have said, nothing special but generally okay. Sometimes the repetitive sentence structure is annoying but good job overall.

Things to improve:
-Holy fuck is this linear. Despite having a bunch of choices theres like 5 different endings which come pretty quickly, sometimes as much as the second choice. Larger story games are obviously harder to write, but I couldn’t help but think this went by too quickly.
-Some of the ‘timelines’ don’t make sense. How is the troll simultaneously your cousin, teacher and a troll? I’m assuming the POV is a human because of the description, but sometimes this makes little to no sense.

Overall this is a fun quick read, but don’t go in expecting anything spectacular.

the game is really short witch isn't bad but You need to make a stronger connection with the character.
the riddle could have had actual answers and that determines if you can pass the bridge or not. the story also feels rushed and there could have been more detail but it is a nice quick story
good work

... You dick! You got my hopes up for a riddle game. Fuck you, betaband. Fuck you very much. >.<

Very short but good fun and very creative. The writing worked well.