Non-threaded

Forums » Creative Corner » Read Thread

Take part in collaborative works, share your short stories, poems, original artwork and more.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Eight people have signed up. So we have 2 fascists and one Hitler! Here below is the list of special powers. This is the link to all the rules and the recruitment thread. (Are you too late to sign up, fear not. Announce your interest and I'll keep you on a stand-by list in case anyone drops out.)

The consequences of enacted Fascist policies
1. Nothing
2. The president investigates player's identity card (this will only confirm whether they are a fascist or not, but not whether they are Hitler.)
3. The president picks the next president.
4. The president must kill a player
5. The president must kill a player. Veto power is unlocked. (This is a permanent one. The Chancellor and president are allowed to discard their given cards if they both agree. How to do it: prez hands out chancellor two cards and chancellor has now the option to say "no" when taking a look at the given cards. This announcement is done publicly in the thread. If the president agrees to also veto it, then this batch of cards will be discarded and the presidential seat will move on to the next one in the list. This act also counts as a failed election cycle and will be tallied as such.)
6. Fascists win 

@mizal 
@corgi213 replaced by @Petros
@ISentinelPenguinI
@PerforatedPenguin
@MrAce321 - Replaced by @Mystic_Warrior
@DarkSpawn - replaced by @Suranna - DEAD
@TypewriterCat
@fresh_out_the_oven - DEAD

I've notified our fascists and Hitler. 

The tally. 

Liberal policies fascist policies
X X
X X
X X
X X
X X
   

Election cycle 1

11 months ago

Election cycle 1 

Fall, 1930
Things haven't been going so well for you, the average hardworking German politician. It's a cushy job and it does pay enough pennies to munch on multiple wiener schnitzels a day. Only bad thing is: the coalition that your colleague chancellor Herman Müller from the SDP has built up over the years is in disarray and on the verge of collapse. The ripples of that certain October day in 1928 in the US had by now turned into a raging tsunami that crashed the entire economy of your country in the blink of an eye. And the worst part is? Müller has called in sick for the eleventh day in a row. Something something bad gallbladder, doesn't really matter. Some of your other colleagues told you that he won't be coming back any time soon.  Darn it....just when you needed his leadership the most. 

As for the average German citizen?

Things haven't been going so well for them too which makes your job even harder. Rising food prices, being the losing side of a war about eleven years ago and now being told that their money is worth less than toilet paper. So... they weren't all too happy with your leadership. Their dissatisfaction was very apparent considering the number of riots and strikes. The German people are hungry, enraged and screaming for change. In their desperation they turn to a more radical party that seems to have all the answers waiting to be spoonfed to the general populace.... Return to tradition, bringing back Germany's former glory, an enemy hidden in the German population. And lots and lots of antisemitism which was very much in vogue at the time. And the worst part of their party policy? Well, you are pretty sure that they are aiming to dismantle democracy and if that happens, you'll lose your job or worse....

So of course you liberals will band together and enact liberal policies to prevent this from ever happening. No way that a wannabe fascist dictator from Austria with a bad Moustache will ever become chancellor and send Germany into another war, not with your excellent cooperation. 

Politicians. Feel free to introduce yourself, which party you're from and general life history or you may disclose nothing at all. We live in a free society after all. 

@mizal since you are on the top of the list you are chosen as the president. Feel free to choose your chancellor and you may give an explanation of your choice to the other politicians. The others may vote an ayyy or a No or discuss things a bit further.

P.S. keep every discussion about election cycle 1 below this comment (aka a reply). It keeps things tidy.

Election cycle 1

11 months ago

"Congratulations Frau President!" A man about 5'8, and a slim build says to the newly elected president. He most noticeably walks with a cane, has round glasses, and a mop of hair combed sideways, no beard but a pretty nice mustache. He wears a white shirt and a vest, having a nice pocket watch chain dangling from the pocket which he hides anytime he is outside his home or the public offices. 

Around his neck is one, long, jagged scar going all the way around in a giant circle. Some surgery he always hand waves, never giving specifics. 

Some say Jon Aldo is a freak of science, others say he was marred in a botched surgery attempt, and others think he was blown to several pieces serving in the Great War before being stitched back together. All anyone knows is that no one knows for sure. Despite his horrid figure and such, Aldo is quite friendly and optimistic, often heard whistling merrily down the city halls as his cane clacks against the floor. 

Election cycle 1

11 months ago
Son of a bitch.

Election cycle 1

11 months ago

"Glückwunsch!" commended a woman who's graying hair was restrained into a tight bun. She offered the new president an even tighter smile. "I am Frau Merkel. It's truly a pleasure to make your acquaintance," she added as she straightened out her black pencil skirt and shifted the white blouse tucked into it.

Julia Merkel had worked hard to get herself into this position, and she knew the new president's first impression of her could seriously aid or damage her ascension to greater power. She bit the inside of her mouth, thinking that she hadn't left home and gone against her parents' wishes only to be stopped now.

Election cycle 1

11 months ago
The halls click-clacked with the sound of pristine-soled cavalry boots, and soon enough the doors opened, as if by magic, to reveal the splendid visage of Burgrave Von Sentrechtul, in all his Sunday morning best.



"Grüß Gott, fellow Liberals!"

The venerable Burgrave was, of course, not an actual Burgrave, don't be silly! Before the nobility was disrecognized 12 years ago, he was merely an Edler. But he was given the title colloquially by the men in his fraternity after buying the castle he had spent much of the war shooting at Frenchmen from, and turning it into a public house for down-on-their luck veterans. With the votes and good will of his fellow survivors of the Great War, the man proved to be surprisingly left-leaning and pro-union for a former officer of the Kaiser's Reich. While no longer really the aristocrat he used to be on account of rapid social changes, nobody seemed to care to remind him of this fact- The man's money was good anywhere in Germany simply because of how well loved he was among his fellow citizens!

"Well aren't you a polite young man!" The Burgrave said, messing the hair of the street urchin who had opened the doors for him, and reaching under his cape for a crisp 500 TRILLION MARK bill and pressing it into the confused and filthy hands of the lad, "Here you go, dear boy! Get yourself a penny candy!"

Little did he know, those marks were barely worth 5% of a penny altogether, and they would be worth 4% by the time the boy got to the store, but what the dear old fool didn't know wouldn't hurt him. With a cheery and oblivious smile on his beak, he strolled down the steps of the parliamentary chamber, whistling a little polka ditty as the little homeless squatter was chased around the building by security guards.

"My compliments to the new chancellor! Love what you've done with the place already. I cannot wait to discuss ze legislations!"

Election cycle 1

11 months ago

Movie review throwback 1 - 1922 Nosferatu - silent film

"I have rarely seen a work in which the mood of the manuscript is so perfectly reflected in the landscape, where the interplay between the actors is so well toned, and where the fatal cliff is so safely negotiated by characters who walk the line between comedy and tragedy for five acts."

Berliner Lokal-Anzeiger, Monday special edition no. 10, 06 Mar 1922. (Google translated because I can't read German)

----------------------------

Herr Aldo, Frau Merkel and the venerable Burgrave have entered the Reichstag, but it seems that the current president is still missing. Hopefully her gallbladder hasn't given up on her like Müller. That would certainly be unfortunate.

@mizal , to further things along, I'll give you 24 more hours to make your choice.

It also seems that some politicians are stuck in traffic while on their way to work. That darn German U-bahn, it never runs on time. And after that, a full 15 minute walk from the Potzdammerplatz? You're not paid enough to do this hard labor. There wasn't even enough time to grab something from the Konditorei, bah.

@PerforatedPenguin
@MrAce321
@DarkSpawn
@TypewriterCat

In case you still want to make a character, you also have 24 hours to do so. (If you don't want to, that's also very much understandable. Just reply that you've read the message. No pressure.)

Edit: 3 hours remaining.

Election cycle 1

11 months ago
Aldric Kraus sits quitely in his chair, not really paying the scene with Josef much mind. Aldric came from a decent family and is pretty new to the whole political scene. He looks down at his hands, thinking about how he needs to be extra careful to not give too much away. (damn bruh, rping for these things is hard. I'll try my best though I guess.) E: and I replied under the wrong post

Election cycle 1

11 months ago
From the distance came a mob of townsmen, hooting and hollering and generally being a rowdy bunch. They would have nearly charged into the president had the guards not pointed their rifles in their direction suspiciously.

"Hömma! Ey! Slow down, ze lot of you," a tall, lanky man with a black cap cried to the crowd. "We are here to support our politiker, not start a war!"

With that, he turns to the guards with an apologetic smile. "Entschuldigung, gentlemen, the roads from Arnfort are rough these days, the train fares rose so much during our ride that we had to run here on foot."

A guardsman snorts. "And you're here to..."

"Ach, right!" The man slaps his thighs, turning to the crowd again "move, you all, let them see our man!"

The crowd parts to reveal a confused looking boy around 9 years old. He stares at Aldo nervously, and turns back to a gruff looking man, presumably his father, who nudges him forward.

"...Hello all, my name is Josef, and I'm here to..." he starts, voice dwindling to a whisper.

The guardsman frowns in disbelief, but begrudgingly lets Josef and his father through.

Election cycle 1

11 months ago

Freidrich Archibald Neumann-Schnieder was an impressive and impressively rich man, or at the very least liked to think he was.

His suit (borrowed from a friend) is neat and tidy, his tie (a repurposed scrap of fabric) is ironed to perfection, and his shoes (found while dumpster diving) are of a reasonable quality in the context of where they’ve been sourced. Indeed, how very rich and impressive he is.

As he strolls down the street, his eyes catch on a nearby street urchin clutching a handul of coins to his chest. Friedrich relieves him of the money, tucking it into his own pocket as the boy looks on in confusion. The homeless didn’t need more money, after all. They’d simply spend it on frivolous things such as food and shelter, while Friedrich could make far more use of it.

He whacks the boy a few times with his cane (a tree branch scavenged from a nearby park) until the street urchin flees. The homeless populations truly should be reduced, he thinks, perhaps in the form of sending the Jewish ones to concentration camps. That would certainly do wonders for the economy and his own profits, yes.

Checking his watch, he's very nearly late to the meeting, so he hurries in without any room for elaboration.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
"Sorry I'm late!" An avatar of pure Aryan perfection hurries in, looking harried and a bit stressed as others pointedly glance at the clock. "I was volunteering at the hospital inspecting newborns for signs of unfitness again." After a moment to fuss with her hair, Elsa Scheissdreck approaches the podium with a disarming smile. "I vote for Hitler!" "...oh. Shit." She twists her hair anxiously. "Too soon? Was I not supposed to say that yet? Um...it's just, he's a great painter, you know. I support the liberal arts." Josef dashes up and whispers urgently in her ear. "....oh? Oh! I'm the president? And they want me to what?" "Okay, I'm not gonna lie, I don't really understand a thing about how democracy works. But the people are suffering and might need socialism to help. Like, on a national level." "Uhhh... and in the meantime I choose you as my chancellor, Josef. You're so helpful. Now be a dear and fetch me some coffee, will you?" Then she frowns and changes her mind. "No, no, wait...too dark. Just bring me a cup of pure white milk."

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Aldo doesn't know who this Hitler fellow is, but could bet they'd feel quite emotional knowing there is such an adoring fan.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
Josef skips back to his father, who gives him an approving nod before motioning for one of the townsmen-goons to grab a glass of milk.

"Josef is okay with being chancellor," he announces in place of the child.

(In my previous SH games, the chancellor nominee is also required to vote for themselves. Almost exclusively yes-votes, but there were times where they vetoed their own chancellorship.)

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Rule clarification:

Because we live in a true democracy with bountiful freedom, the chancellor nominee is allowed to vote "no", but they can't veto themselves when the majority says yes. So yes, you can be forced into chancellorship if you fail to convince others to change their minds. 

 

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
Yes, I meant only voting no when I said veto, my bad.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

"As well he should be!" the Venerable Burgrave pipes up, pounding his fist on his desk righteously and standing to make one of his famous long-winded speeches, "For I say, at this point in the PROUD history of this, the burgeoning German Republic, there are but three kinds of people who know anything at all about Hitler: The first would be that dastardly Hitler himself! He knows that he's Hitler, and he knows that everyone else isn't Hitler, so it stands to reason that he would always vote for himself because he wins by gaining our trust and enablement to commit Hitlerian conspiracies! If we already elected Hitler before, we'd be more comfortable with electing him again, and that's how they get ya! The other people are the fascists, who would logically want Hitler to be elected more than themselves. Which is why, by Lutheran God, any one of us who does not vote for ourselves when prompted to run for president, is a false liberal indeed! The only knowledge any single progressive has at this point in time is that they are not Hitler- So to not advocate for one's self in the democratic process is to cede the position of Chancellor to somebody who might be Hitler! Do you see the horror of this choice? It is a matter of choosing between one person who is guaranteed not to be Hitler, and a person who stands a 13% chance of being Hitler, and a 20% chance of being a filthy fascist! If we are to preserve the People's Reich, we must seriously interrogate the reasoning of any man... Or... Woman!? Who would want the Chancellor's seat to go to anyone else but themselves when nominated."

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Jawhohl!

Luckily most politicians have made it on time for a good old-fashioned german chitchat despite the not-so-shockingly bad peformance of the u-bahn.

 

And things have certainly been busy for them as the first prospective chancellor has been chosen by Frau Scheissdreck who was heartbroken to find out that Hitler is too camera shy to make his presence known in the crowd. It's understandable considering his circumstances. Ever since he partied a bit too hard in a beerhall, he got into trouble with the police. From the accounts of witnesses it was certainly a night to remember forever.

 

And her final handpicked chancellor is... the honorable Herr Josef who looked to be very eager to take up his role.

Some votes have been drawn, but one group of three has chosen to forgo voting this day to eat some Gugelhupf and drink coffee and tea. One cannot rule with an empty stomach after all.

 

May the ones who haven't voted yet end their brunch break and cast their vote? You have 24 hours. If you don't vote within that one day then your vote will be counted as an absentee vote, which means that it doesn't count. (It's neither a yes or a no)

WARNING

I'll remind everyone that in the next voting round you'll all get 24 HOURS to respond the moment the prez makes their pick.

@MrAce321

@TypewriterCat
@fresh_out_the_oven

A fax message from the brand new government Hellschreiber has come in. It seems that a certain Fraulein has been incapacitated for some mysterious reason, but we are still hoping she'll come to vote anyways.

@DarkSpawn you still up to it?

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

24 hours are up. No person has voted against the president and the Chancellor nominee. Perhaps it was out of pure unadulterated apathy or fear or admiration of the speech of the venerable Burgrave. We'll never know. 

 

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Oh given the lot you're playing with it definitely was apathy.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
I am surprised Fresh was so apathetic on a thread activity.

I am only semi surprised about TCat.

I am not surprised at all about Ace.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Well like you said and I said before in the discord, most here just aren't going to be motivated to play as a liberal, let alone push the liberal agenda.

I'll try to figure out another game to play which might last more than 1 round.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
We had enough votes and will be continuing to round 2, the nice thing about this one is that it doesn't need constant full participation.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Oh Darius made it sound like the game was over due to lack of participation.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

No we'll keep going, if particiaption is soblow that it hinders the game, I will yoink some people out of the game and others will replace them.

It was just fun narration lol. 

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
I plan to continue, the main problem is that every post takes more effort than a yay nay because of the rp aspect, but I'll try and be more active in the future.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Darius said you didn't have to roleplay.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Tsss and no one reads.

Look Ace, the rp is just for funsies but you could just also choose for a more social dedcution route. I want this to be as low effort and low pressure possible.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Gonna take that as a compliment

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago

A liberal vote has been cast. Hurrah!

for the next term, Her aldo is president. I'll write a longer post when I'm not Drunkius anymore.

@corgi213

Please name your nominee within 24 hours

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago
Just gonna point out that due to time zones, your 24 hour limit begins at 8 or 9pm for most of us.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago
With a slimy smile,Aldo nominates none other than the Burgrave himself!

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago

Deadline for voting is 21:00 EST december 18th.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago
Having been informed she's no longer President, Elsa Scheissdreck throws a stomping and throwing things fit and demands to know which subgroup of the population is responsible for this injustice.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago

Aye

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago
Aye

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago

Friedrich, who has at this time forgotten what a Burgrave is, votes nay. He might not be strongly opinionated about these matters, but he is strongly opinionated that anyone who votes aye is a sheep.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago
Josef's father moves to shield the boy with his body, and suspiciously eyes Aldo and his chancellor.

"I- I mean, Josef will agree to this arrangement. However, we'll be keeping an eye on you folk."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago

Burgrave Von Sentrechtul narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Aldo, before standing up from his seat and pointing his cane in the direction of the scarred man, "Oh, I see what you're doing here. You're trying to test my LIBERAL PRINCIPLES, aren't you!? You think I won't do it? You think that I, Burgrave Von Sentrechtul, would not have the GALL to vote for myself in a chancellery election! But I stand by what I said, every word of it! Though there is the 13% likelihood you may be Hitler, you will not intimidate me with your confusing tactics! Whatever you're trying to pull, I will PROUDLY vote for myself in this election, if nothing else than to demonstrate to the world my unwavering belief that I am not Hitler! And you can put that in the paper and sell it!"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago
Elsa has calmed down a bit now, and gives a scornful pfft. "Burgrave talks a good game, but the only one you all TRULY know couldn't be Hitler would be me. Proof: I couldn't grow a mustache if I tried."

"But by his own reasoning I can't vote for him, or any of the rest of you either."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago

"Such is the risk inherent to the game of Democracy in our deeply uncertain times!" Said the Burgrave, "But until we have any evidence based upon the actions of those in office, it only makes sense that none of you do vote for me until you know better! The wheel of democracy will continue unimpeded however, because no matter what transpires, the nominee will always have two votes- One from himself, and the other from the previous Chancellor, and until we have more information to go on, voting for oneself in every election is the way forward! Only when it comes time to pass a policy will any new cards be on the table. Literally and metaphorically!"

Nobody can really say what he meant by "literally", but the stenographer failed to record that he may have been enjoying a secret flask of schnapps from his chair before and after this.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago

The current government has been elected Herr Aldo as the president and the venerable Burgrave as Chancellor with 4-2. 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 2

11 months ago

While Herr Aldo and the venerable Burgrave are heavily discussing their next policies, the rest of the group remain in the conference room anxiously waiting for the incoming results. Will the liberals be one more step closer to a democratic Germany or will everything they'd built so far all crumble? The last time Herr Josef and Frau Elsa had chosen to push forward a liberal policy, but that could soon be rendered nihil if Hitler has amassed enough followers and becomes chancellor.

A quiet storm is brewing.

In this moment of utter tense silence, what better idea than to eat cake and sip coffee?

------------------------------------------------------------

Germany and the Konditorei

Column written by Julius von Duisburg, Konditor and concerned citizen

Since every reader is a full-blooded German, it is a certain fact that no one is unfamiliar with our motherland's beloved Konditorei. In a Konditorei one can munch on everything sweet and tasty an average German can think of. Delicious desserts, chocolate cake, pound cakes and of course lots of coffee and the elusive Gugelhupf. (Our great but dim witted Aryan Dutch neighbours call them a Tulband.)

Every German would sallivate thinking of the soft bouncy denseness of the cake and the magnificent ring with spirals and lots of powdered sugar sprinkled on top of it. It is only natural to speculate the origins of this delight. When was it invented, who was the first baker and what's his nationality?

Well, well, well the answer lies before your very eyes.

Of course such sweet showcase ingenuity can only be invented in the German Empire, not anywhere else in the world. No skull except one of German origin can hold a brain that brilliant, ingenuitive and talented in the arts. Only in the cold harsh alpine winters can a species evolve and reach their true potential, you see.
 
Some degenerate scholars beg to differ and say it has Austrian-Hungarian origins and that this cake is also very popular in Eastern Europe, but their minds are fickle and dull. German provinces are not countries haha. It's the same as if one would call Berlin a naz- nation state, but they'll soon enough see the error of their ways...

Anyways, for the readers from across the North sea, I've also written my grandmother's recipe for the ones who would want to try it at home. It is a cake worth to die for. 

Zubereitung

Für das Gugelhupf-Grundrezept zuerst die Gugelhupfform (Ø 22 cm) mit weicher Butter ausstreichen und mit Mehl ausstreuen. Das Backrohr auf 180° Grad (Ober-/Unterhitze) vorheizen.

Nun die Butter, Zucker und Vanillezucker in einer Schüssel schaumig schlagen und danach die Eier einrühren.

Nun das Mehl mit dem Backpulver vermischen und abwechselnd mit der Milch in die Buttermasse unterrühren.

Zum Schluss den Teig in die Form füllen und etwa 60 Minuten backen.

Den fertigen Gugelhupf auskühlen lassen und mit Staubzucker bestreuen.

--------------------------------------

Breaking news: Women now able to vote

1919

After a near decade of protests and demonstration, article 109 has been passed and is engraved into the constitution. Both men and women now have the right to vote and hold office.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
I was wondering if we should enact a kick or disqualify rule concerning non-participation, just to discern between uninterested players versus those that are just laying low. Might help with stirring up the pot a little, getting some more activity.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Might do that after this voting round with Darkspawn unless she explicitly tells me she's still up for it. 

I was also thinking of a rule like this "If you don't vote in this round, It will not be possible for you to become president or be nominated as chancellor in the next one. Then if you vote, you'll become again eligible for both positions.". Keeps more power hungry people a bit more engaged.

However, because I've seen an uptick in activity this round, I'll forgo these more draconian rules and keep things as it is.

So far 4 aye's and 2 Neins. 

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
I'm down with draconian rules, this is Germany.

Darkspawn I know is not playing, even you referring to him as a woman couldn't draw him out. Ace should probably also be booted, I'm sure we could find two more volunteers who can at least make it through the "first post" stage.

But I agree with Peng, you might at the very least need to do a check if we get a couple of low activity rounds to see who has wandered off vs who is in hiding too avoid attention.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

I'm down with draconian rules, this is Germany

Very well, then the rule I proposed will be implemented in the next voting round.

-----------------------------------------

Suranna will be replacing Dark.

I'll do another announcement in the recruitment page to have more replacements lining up, give something to have Ace worry about and move his arse from his couch.

 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

Fall is quickly coming to an end in Germany with the weather becoming colder and colder and with the food prices soaring. Before everyone can hunker down and celebrate Christmas, there are some announcements to make:

----------------------------------------------

Policy results

After heavy arguing and scheiße flinging, Herr Aldo and the venerable Burgrave have at last reached a final solution (no pun intended): They have cast...... A FASCIST policy. The question now is who is to blame for this, the venerable Burgrave or Herr Aldo or whether anyone is to blame at all. Remember, there are 11 fascist policies in total and 6 liberal ones...

No new powers have been unlocked yet.....

Discuss below.

-------------------------------------------

Newcomers and assassinations

Remember the Fraulein Darkspawn who never showed up due to a traffic accident. We've gotten another letter from the hospital that said that the train hit her so hard that her spleen and other important organs have ruptured. Part of her brain or whatever was left was flung to an unknown passerby after the impact. Very gruesome indeed. 

The train conductor was arrested. After some questioning, it was found out that he was a communist working for the Soviet Union and was deadbound to start a new revolution. Those commies really don't know when to quit.

Luckily we have found a good replacement for our recently deceased politician. @Suranna do you want to introduce yourself?

---------------------------------------------

Additional game rules due to the rise of fascism

As we are one step closer to fascism due to the actions of the previous government, new rules will be implemented to the game. In order to become eligible for the president or chancellor position in the next round, you need to cast your VOTE in THIS CURRENT election within a set time limit. 

If you forget to vote and you're next in line as president, tough luck for you. You'll be skipped.

If you vote again in the next round, the punishment will be over. You're able to become prez or chancellor.

If you don't participate in two consecutive rounds, you might be replaced with someone else more eager.

-----------------------

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

For election cycle 3, the venerable Burgrave will be president!

@ISentinelPenguinI

Who will your pick be for chancellor? 

Deadline is 21th december 23:59.

 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago
"Well, the people are already distrustful of the government, and do have a lot of questions. Would President Aldo or Chancellor Burgrave like to explain their thought processes on this new policy? I'm sure it was for perfectly reasonable reasons, yes?"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

"Nein!" Aldo throws his cane in the air

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

"Now, I know what you're thinking," Said the Venerable Burgrave, "And it would be a reasonable assumption! But even so, you know what happens when you assume!... Wait, that wordplay doesn't work in German... Wenn Sie davon ausgehen, machen sie eine austist aus von gehen?"

"What this 'Aldo' fails to explain is that his vile plot in this nomination was to frame me for fascist doings! I was given only two paltry pieces of legislation to pass into law, and both of them were reactionary tripe! It was Aldo's job to review the bills you people drafted, and, for whatever reason," Sentrechtul narrowed his eyes at the scarred old man, "He seems ever so reticent to tell us why there were only EVIL laws among the choices! If there were a single liberal policy I could've passed during my term as Chancellor, it would have been vetoed by none other than Aldo himself!"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

"Nein nein nein!" Aldo shakes his hand as he stumbles like a deranged npc, constantly tripping and falling over without his cane. "I have only pushed forward the laws I was given! These policies are what the people want!" He glitches and spasms. 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago
"Well gosh..." Elsa listens to all this very intently, twirling her hair with a concerned frown. "I know to some it looks you two have just passed a very evil piece of legislature that will be the foundation piece of untold suffering for the people of Germany and beyond, but hey, I believe in second chances! Happy to have you as the new President, Herr Burgrave. And I have total trust in whoever you pick as Chancellor as well...I mean, we at least know it can't be the deranged Aldo." Her frown deepens as she observes the man's outburst and she tsks. "He should be gassed!" Elsa stops herself and claps a hands over her mouth. "Oh... I mean...escorted peacably from the premises in an unmarked vehicle with its windows covered."

"Um, for safety."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

"Fraulein Elsa, I am disappointed to hear such things from you!?" Now it is Aldos turn to tsk. "Why don't you ahem, just let this go and go....well, do whatever it is you do!" And he shoos her.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago
Josef's father bends down and whispers something in the child's ears that makes him frown in confusion.

"Wait, why?" Josef asks, nervously glancing at Aldo and Burgrave.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

"As it is now my turn," said the Burgrave, "The person I nominate to be the next chancellor will be Friedrich! As the sole dissenter among those who voted for my chancellery, it was his vote against me, that, if you had all voted against me, would have led to me not being the one who Aldo framed as a FILTHY FASCIST by only giving me wretched policies. This isn't much, but it is the one thing setting them apart. Their actions to come will betray their true leanings..."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago
"Huh?"

"I mean...sound reasoning!" Elsa applauds. "I second Herr Friedrich for, er, those exact reasons!"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

Friedrich, who finds these court proceedings rather dull, has busied himself with throwing the small stones he keeps in his pocket for this very reason out a window and at nearby pedestrians.

He looks up at the mention of his name (though not before managing to strike a wailing baby right between the eyes), shocked that the venerable Burgrave has noticed his relatively subpar existence.

As expected by the average power-hungry politician, he will undoubtedly be casting his vote for himself.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

Aldo, still not having regained the use of his cane. Flops along the floor. "Ja ja ja! I say, aye to Herr Friedreich! Ah...ahem. Herr Friedrich!"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

Deadline for VOTING is 22th december 23:59 EST

Remember, you are not allowed to be president or chancellor in election cycle 4 if you don't vote this round. (Non activity for two rounds in a row, I'll assume you're out.)

@PerforatedPenguin
@MrAce321

@Suranna

 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago
Aye, that logic sounds reasonable

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

Um, aye?

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago
"Aye," mutters Josef's Father. The child is nowhere to be found, perhaps off playing in the streets somewhere.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

"A-Aye..."

"That's what I'm supposed to say, right?" Meeku mutters nervously.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago
.

    A cartoon of a person with blue hair

Description automatically generated

 

"Ach de meine, I think I'm in the wrong place!" Herr Meeku Fiegel exclaims as he stands in the doorway of one of the many rooms in the Reichstag Building, attracting unwanted attention.

"This isn't the way to the bathroom, is it...?" he laughs, nervously.

"What's this? An invitation to parliament. Well, I'll take it, if you'll have me..."

 

Herr Meeku, a young jewish man in his 20's showcasing bright eyes and absurdly blue hair, seemingly showed up at the wrong (right) place at the wrong (right) time. Perhaps this young man's radical views will help shift an ever-changing Germany to brighter, better future? 

 

"What?" Herr Meeku exclaims, clutching his necklace, "Of course you can trust me... I-I would never betray my comrades!" Herr Meeku twitches.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago
"Hey! Who let that Jew in here?" one of the guards asks, clenching his billy club. "His hair is so blinding and so...so Japanese, I hate it!" Elsa cries out, bursting into tears.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

"And just what exactly is wrong with the Japanese!? As far as I'm concerned, they're honorary white people!"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

Aldo simply beholds this blue jew and drowns in his own blood.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago
"...can someone please bring a mop?" Elsa finally manages to ask, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 3

11 months ago

The Reichstag has chosen. It's an unanimous decision!

The venerable Burgrave as president and Herr Friedrich as his chancellor have been appointed to lead Germany to even more dizzying heights! Praise be!

While those two chew through the paperwork together, I've come prepared with more random facts about the glorious German Empire.

--------

Fucking, the town

In the beautiful innviertel region of Austria (basically a German provinces), lies the picturesque town that was once named Fucking. From a time traveler we've been notified that the town only had about 100 inhabitants as of 2020 and that for some reason this town has garnered a certain notoriety and fame among the English speaking world. To the dismay of the town folk their street signs have been the regular target of theft and strangely a lot more young couples were spotted lately doing unlawful fornication under entrance and traffic signs.

The time traveler claimed that this rise of popularity is due to some British soldiers in world war two. Quite a quaint man to be honest and a bit looney too. Two wars... Two wars.... Next day he'll claim that there are fascists in this perfect democratic Parliament. 

As for the town named fucking, the local tour guide once said: 

 "The Germans all want to see Mozart's house in Salzburg; the Americans want to see where The Sound of Music was filmed; the Japanese want Hitler's birthplace in Braunau; but for the British, it's all about Fucking."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 4

11 months ago

Liberal policy passed

The results are in! The venerable Burgrave and Herr Friedrich have passed....... a liberal policy! The liberals are one step closer to victory and securing democracy.

Feel free to discuss below this announcement the results or celebrate this joyous moment.

------------------------

Jews in the Reichstag

The arrival of Herr Meeku seemed to have caused quite a conundrum within the Parliament. After the shrilly shrieks and yelps have died down, only an uncomfortable silence ensued interspersed with hushed whispers. What is a Jew doing here in this sacred place where democracy is protected and cherished?

Well, there have been Jewish politicians ever since the founding of the republic. One great example is Herr Meeku's colleague Walther Rathenau who has been the Foreign Minister of Germany from Februari 1922 to ....June 1922. Five full months! He was quite a patriot too. Here's one of his quotes seized from Wikipedia.

I am a German of Jewish origin. My people are the German people, my home is Germany, my faith is German faith, which stands above all denominations

​​--------

New government

@PerforatedPenguin

For this fourth election cycle, Herr Josef will be the president. Please choose your chancellor before December the 23th 23:59 EST.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 4

11 months ago

The Burgrave clapped his hands excitedly to see another liberal policy passed.

"Let it be known that Friedrich passed a test this day- I could have vetoed a single fascist policy and not given him the option to do anything but pass a liberal policy, but the party learns nothing that way. This would make me no less subversive in the long run than that dastardly Aldo! Instead, I gave him the choice between that fascist policy and some good economic reform! He chose the latter. Now, he could just be Hitler playing the long game, because I imagine he would benefit most from being electable over passing policies- But evidence is evidence, no matter how you want to swing it."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 4

11 months ago
Elsa looks uncertain. "I read on Reichbook that Friedrich would be accusing you of trying to push a fascist policy, Burgrave. And something about you being controlled by China and Russia, but I thought that part was silly anyway, they're bunch of unwashed peasants." She frowns. "How do we know it isn't all true though?"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 4

11 months ago
Josef runs back in gleefully with a few pebbles in his hands, only to freeze in place upon seeing the new jew. His father walks up to him, and whispers a few words into his ear, and Josef nods in response.

"Josef will return the favor and nominate Frau Elsa for chancellor," the man announces, scratching at his beard.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 4

11 months ago

The deadline for voting is December the 24th 23:59 EST, mostly due to the rather fast reply of Herr Josef. (Due to the holidays, I would have otherwise pushed it one or two days later)

Secret Hitler - election cycle 4

11 months ago


Elsa whisks through the doors the morning of the election dressed to kill, casts a vote for herself and then says something about needing to go to the hospital to examine a baby with a pebble sized dent in its head.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 4

11 months ago
Aye, last time she was president a libreal policy was passed. I see no reason not to trust her again.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 4

11 months ago

Elsa talks a big game, but the only evidence we have suggests that she may be more liberal than meets the eye. I will vote for her based on her current track record, let's see if it holds true!

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
Are we gonna be continuing this?

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

Yes. It seems that the most busiest days are over, so I'll start it up.

Okay, just because so many people missed the last deadline, I'll give out a final notice for everyone to vote hehe ad let people know the game is still ongoing.

Deadline for voting: Dec 30th 23:59 EST

@mizal 
@corgi213
@ISentinelPenguinI
@PerforatedPenguin
@MrAce321

@Suranna
@TypewriterCat
@fresh_out_the_oven

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
I don't think any of those tags went through btw, did you edit them in after you posted?


@corgi213
@ISentinelPenguinI
@PerforatedPenguin
@MrAce321

@Suranna
@TypewriterCat
@fresh_out_the_oven

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago

I only copypasted them, but did it through my phone.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

11 months ago
Oh, I see now there's some unicode gibberish attached to my name in particular, so maybe they went through for other people.

Edit: And as long as we're talking about dirty encoding, some of you who should really know better posted images at the beginning of the thread that are causing it to lag a bit when loading.

Instead of the image tags a sane person would use, they look like this: And they go on like that for so long it freezes my browser trying to fully select and copy them. Shame on you.

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

Results are in! 

Chancellor Frau Elsa and president Herr Josef have enacted..... A fascist policy. Weimar Germany is one step closer to a full fascist takeover. Will this new year be the year of the fascists or the year where democracy triumphs?

You may discuss the results.

@MrAce321

You'll become president in round 5. Choose your chancellor. 

Deadline is January 1st 23:59 

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago
Elsa looks distressed. "Now, before anyone freaks out, let me explain that Josef handed me two policies that appeared to actually just be the same policy? I'm sure it will help someone out there somehow though, Josef is a very sweet child."

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago
We are well past the deadline, can someone please roll Ace's bloated corpse out of the way?

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

@Suranna

It's your turn

Choose your chancellor.

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

"Well I can't choose a woman, so I guess I'll pick..."

Herr Meeku looks around at the possible candidates, and eyes the scarred man pensively.

"Yeah, I could probably beat him up. I choose Herr Aldo!"

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

Herr Meeku walks in, and upon seeing the room bare except for one blonde nurse, immediately leaves.

 

"I can't do this. I've never been alone in a room with a woman before."

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

As long as you don't choose mizal you've got my vote. She seems pretty sus rn

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

@Suranna Deadline for you is January the 6th 23:59. Don't be tardy.

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

Telling Suranna to not be anything with the term “tard” in it, is going to be fairly difficult for her.

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

suspicious

Let it be known that from this point forward I am never voting for Josef or Aldo unless they explain themselves!

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

Deadline is January 2st to vote 23:59 

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago
>>January 2st

Are you drunk?

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago
"I vote nay on Herr Aldo. Because he disrespectfully refused to explain himself to his colleagues, and because he started flopping around on the floor and vomiting blood, which is most disgraceful."

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

I hate dates so much. January the 7th 23:59 EST

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

Freidrich votes aye, for the sole reason that he enjoys holding controversial opinions and he feels it would be vaguely amusing to have a fascist takeover of Germany.

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago

I fear that I have to make a very saddening announcement. During this election round Herr Aldrich Klaus has drunk himself into a stupor that night and wandered off into the bad parts of Berlin. There the poorest and hungriest of German folk saw the rolls of fat that was spilling out of his waistcoat. In their delirious state, a horde of crazed people attacked him and got dinner that night.

Luckily we found a scribbly mess of notes in Herr Aldrich's room which states that he has a replacement in case he ever fell ill or died of an heart attack.

@Mystic_Warrior will be replacing Ace!

Secret Hitler - secret Hitler round 5

11 months ago



Not stopping to look up from her notebook, Bernadette Klaus walks into the room, muttering to herself. “A new fascist policy? Ja, it is troubling. Very bad for Germany—”

“Meine Güte!” she exclaims, stepping back in fright. She is seconds away from stepping on a rotting, mostly-eaten corpse. “There has been a murder!”

Then she registers the stench of alcohol amidst the disfigured remains—the brand popular with the Germans too poor to afford better liquor and too stupid to recognize a scam. “Oh, nein. Not just a murder. It's my murder. Ze rat poison in his flask must have worked.”

A gasp comes from somewhere amongst the politicians. She looks up. The notebook falls; scraps of newspapers and scribbled notes are strewn across the floor. 

Shrugging, Bernadette says, "What? I doubt any of you wanted that Dummkopf in your presence any longer."

Then she stretches out a hand to Herr Meeku. "Pleasure to meet you, President. I am Aldrichs' second cousin, twice removed. As a demonstration of my political stance and my desire to form alliances with other powerful people, I will cast my vote for nay."

She picks up a piece of paper from the ground and hands it to him.
Aldo + Burgrave = fascist policy
Aldo = suspicious?
Liberals - know only their own identity - no reason to vote for one who passed a fascist policy
Meeku = suspicious?


It is unclear what she means about knowing one's identity, but no one dares to question the likely killer. 

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

11 months ago

For the first time, the majority of the Reichstag voted NEIN. A monumental moment in history. Herr Meeku's presidentschap will be passed to Herr Friedrich.

@TypewriterCat

Name your chancellor.

Deadline is January 8th 23:59

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago

@TypewriterCat

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago

Oooh, pick me, pick me @TypewriterCat

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago
Friedrich has no use for friends, and is too contrary minded for political allies..

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago

Friedrich vaguely shakes his head in the direction of in Frau Merkel in an attempt to get her to leave him alone, which the rest of the politicians interpret as her being selected chancellor.

@fresh_out_the_oven has been chosen as chancellor.

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago

Herr Friedrich voted for Frau Merkel

Leave your vote now. Deadline is January 10th 23:59

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago

Frau Merkel lets out a small cheer, stopping just shy of a fist pump. "Ahem, I mean, I vote yes."

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago
"I don't know if I trust this president, but as far as chancellor's go... might as well try it. Anything is better than Aldo."

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago
Josef's father runs in from town with the child in his arms, asleep...

"Josef agrees to this decision, ja." He says breathlessly, shaking the boy's limp, sleeping body for all to see. "Apologies for our absence, I had to go find this boy ...sleeping in a corner of the marketplace."

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago

Herr Meeku is tired, and has to get up early for work tomorrow, but manages to say "Aye" just before the deadline.

Secret Hitler - Election cycle 6

10 months ago

It was an unanimous decision this time. Herr Friedrich will be acting as president and Frau Merkel will be acting as chancellor.

As for the previous president who has enacted the second fascist policy, Herr Josef, will be conducting an investigation on party memberships. He may or may not announce the results.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

A monumental day has arrived. President Herr Friedrich and Chancellor Frau Merkel have cast their votes and put forward: a fascist policy. Again, we are one step closer to a fascist takeover. Lots of Germans are now celebrating and enjoying the festivities. Burning Christmas trees, starving and painting swastikas on everything. Mein Kampf has reached the Berlin Times bestseller list now. Very fun.

Well, then there's the question who was to lame for this tragic outcome.

Is this the fault of the cards and the God of chances or part of a scheme of Herr Friedrich or Frau Merkel? 

There's however one upside to this incident; due to the government growing ever more tyrannical, more options are unlocked to prevent the fascist from couping the current government.

For this round and this round only, the current president, Herr Friedrich is allowed to pick the next president.

@Typewritercat

Who will become the next president?

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

If you pick me I'll make you chancellor :)

Can't promise you votes though

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

ANNOUNCEMENT

Remember, because there are now THREE FASCIST policies on the deck, be more careful which chancellor you approve. Hitler comes in many shapes and sizes, so be aware. If the deadline strikes, the votes are tallied and the Chancellor chosen happens to be Hitler, it is an instant loss for the liberals. 

 ---------

ANNOUNCEMENT 

If anyone is card counting, the cards of the draw pile have run out, so things are reshuffled again.

As of now, there are 4 liberal cards and 8 fascist cards left to draw from.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

Herr Friedrich couldn't be there to announce the next president, but he passed the message by letter. 

The next president will be:

Herr Josef

@PerforatedPenguin

Choose your chancellor. You have until Friday January 12th 23:59

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
Josef's choice is the newcomer, Bernadette Klaus, for her detailed analysis of each politician's standings and seemingly harmless intentions.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

These fascists better explain themselves right the fuck now, smh.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

Yeah I was screwing around, gonna try to make TypeCat look suspicious by choosing a fascist policy, but I done messed up... didn't realize we only needed one more fascist policy to get to the point where if Hitler's voted chancellor we're all doomed. So Ima own up to this one, my apologies to TypeCat.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
"It's almost like edgy, imbecilic children are being allowed to run the government!" Elsa gasps, wringing her hands in surprise and distress. "Someone should do something!"

"...now where is my sterilization scalpel?"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

Bernadette returns, carrying a stack of notebooks and outdated newspapers, looking extremely sleep-deprived but excited nonetheless. “I have figured it out!”

She takes in an exaggerated deep breath as if to deliver a long speech, only to decide against it at the last moment. Instead, she shoves identical notes into the hands of each of the perplexed politicians.
 



Mein Theorie (not Mein Kampf)

Julia (fascist?): took advantage of the lull in activity, as the politicians were all on tea break, to convince Freidrich to select her as chancellor. Then she asked to be voted for as president, promising to make him chancellor. This creates one of two possibilities:

  • She is a fascist: In this case, Freidrich would never vote for her if he were a liberal who was framed (and fascists know who the liberal are) so why bother asking?
  • She is not a fascist: yet, why would a liberal ask to be voted for as president and offer the other person the position of chancellor if they had been framed by them with identical fascist policies? 
  • If she was trying to make Friedrich seem suspicious, her previous statement would have been casting the blame on him instead of saying she will make him chancellor, so this lack of consistency and overly quick apology is, as one says, 'sus'.


Freidrich (Hitler?): he voted a liberal policy to gain the populace’s trust in round 2 and ‘passed’ the Burgrave’s test. He was then asked to be selected by Julia who we already proved is likely to be a fascist. Here’s why he cannot be a normal fascist:

  • Julia asked to be voted as president and offers him the role of chancellor, which is Hitler’s win condition
  • She would not need to ask for Freidrich’s vote if he were a normal fascist, since they know one another’s identities (but Hitler only knows his own identity)
  • She seems to be ‘leading’ Freidrich in both these rounds which implies she has information he doesn’t 
  • Furthermore, she backpedalled and is now protecting him, and fascists would not do this unless they have someone more important to protect


Extra note: It does not make sense for Julia to draw suspicion to herself, but she knows if people like the Burgrave starts questioning both of them, she needs to clear 'Hitler' of suspicion. And while I can only guess at her reasons, she might have believed not-so-subtly revealing her alignment to Freidrich puts her in a good position to win. E.g. If Hitler chooses her—a fascist—to be the president, and she elects him a chancellor, then Germany will be forever doomed!
 



From the pile of notebooks, it is clear Bernadette has many more suspicions and theories but she would keep them to herself for now. She also realises that somewhere along the line, Friedrich's name has shifted from 'Freidrich' to 'Friedrich'. Most suspicious indeed.

For now, she would like to question a few individuals for background-checking purposes, to know what metaphorical cards have been at play.

“Elsa - what policies did you receive and discard in round 1?”
“Josef - what policies did you receive in round 1? How about round 4?”
“Aldo - what policy did you discard in round 2?”
“Burgrave - what policy did you discard in round 3?”

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
"Oh, I can answer that easily. I received two fascist and one liberal policy, and discarded the one that seemed the silliest. I mean, the cost of all those ovens, and at a time like this? Can you even imagine?" She tsks disapprovingly.

"Josef chose to pass the liberal policy of those that remained, and reassured me in private that this meant he was a liberal through and through. But now...I don't know, he's been acting very strangely. Maybe someone should ask his father, or wake little Josef from his weirdly lengthy and convenient nap."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

Ooh, the plot thickens

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
Josef's father takes a long glance at the child, peacefully sleeping on the ground beside him.

"Sorry about my boy," he grunts, "he's really fond of his naps."

"I can assure you that Josef is a liberal at heart, he was given the choice between a fascist and liberal policy on round one, and promptly chose the liberal out of the goodness of his heart."

"Round 4, however, we weren't given a choice, as both proposed policies seemed to be fascist in principle. Josef could only choose the lesser of the two evils."

He looks back at the boy's sleeping figure strangely.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

Bernadette casts a worried look at the sleeping boy, wondering if she ought to check for a pulse. Then she dismisses the thought to focus on the matter at hand. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the president given three policies to discard from, not two? So when you say both proposed policies were fascist, did you mean all three of them were? Oh, nein, what has become of our citizens?"

Despite her slight suspicions, she will be voting aye. It seems like the safest option until more information has been revealed. 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
"Ja," the man gruffly replies. "I was mistaken. Josef had received three policies, and all of them were fascist in nature."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

"Danke for clarifying," Bernadette says, taking note of this. "I'm inclined to believe you. Given that two liberal policies and three fascist ones have been discarded thus far, we know the following."

Round 1 - liberal policy passed, fascist discarded
Round 2 - fascist policy passed, ? discarded
Round 3 - liberal policy passed, liberal discarded
Round 4 - fascist policy passed, fascist discarded
Round 5 - vetoed
Round 6 - fascist policy passed, ? card discarded

"Hence, assuming everyone can be trusted, either Aldo or Freidrich vetoed a fascist policy, and the other a liberal one. Apologies for asking so many questions, but it would be nice to know who you investigated (unless it is meant to be kept secret/ will put someone in danger)." 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

Herr Josef has spoken or rather slept.

He has chosen Frau Bernadette Klaus as chancellor.

Deadline for voting is 

Saturday January 13th 23:59

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
Elsa votes for her, on the grounds that the sheer number of paperwork and investigation dedicated to rooting out the fascists could only mean she wasn't one of them. "Unless she's some kind of tryhard that just likes to be excessively wordy for no reason, I mean."

As a specialist in children's medical problems, she'd also like to examine Josef, who is sleeping just a little too soundly for good health.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
Josef's father scoops the boy up quickly, and hands Josef off to one of the men he arrived with, whispering something in their ear.

The other man takes the boy and gingerly steps away from the townsquare.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

I vote aye, this time

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

The votes have been tallied.

Bernadette Klaus will act as the chancellor and Her Josef will be the president for this election cycle. It was an unanimous decision this time despite the heavy discussions that were brewing in the Reichstag!

Ahum......

As for whether Bernadette Klaus is Hitler?

.......

Frau Klaus IS NOT Hitler! There was not a single trace of a Moustache on her face!(Note: She could still be a regular fascist or a liberal.)

Democracy gets to live another day!

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

Huzzah!

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
Elsa wants to have it clarified if there's a minimum age or level of consciousness required for presidency.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago

Sadly no age restriction due to the recent labour shortage. Almost everyone is pretty active lately, well except for: Her Aldo. 

@corgi213 you still up for it?

After this special election the list will go back to the candidate after Tcat. So Fresh, then you, then Corgi and so on (except if one of them ends up being assassinated)

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
Oh, I refer to the way Josef has been sleeping/unconscious/dead and being puppeted around by his father. Elsa thinks that's a little weird.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 7

10 months ago
Just sleeping!

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

President Josef and Frau Klaus have decided to enact:

A LIBERAL POLICY

Only two more liberal policies have to be enacted to save the republic! 

---------

The presidency will now go to Frau Merkel.

Remember, if Hitler is elected chancellor, the liberals will lose the game. However, if Hitler is assassinated, it will be an instant win for the liberals and the next fascist policy will unlock the political means to carry out an assassination. 

@fresh_out_the_oven

Choose your chancellor

 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
"Wonderful, congratulations to Frau Klaus for not being evil!"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

Going with Bernadette

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

That's sadly not possible since she was in the previous government, please choose someone else.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

@fresh_out_the_oven

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

Oh, lol. The Jewish guy then

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

Just for ye ole information, I'm gonna have to drop from the game. Thanks for running this and hope you got someone lined up that wants to play.

 

You all watch as it begins to rain, someone leaves a window open, and Aldo is washed and slithers into the drain. 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

Herr Aldo was a valiant and brave man with an unique wit. His absence will be missed.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
His absence will be missed?

...well, to everyone who just had to witness that, I suppose it might be.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

"Frau Merkel, please... give me a second chance!" 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

Frau Merkel has elected Her Meeku aka the only Jewish guy in the Reichstag. Is Het Meeku really Jewish or was it all a disguise?

Vote! Deadline is monday January 15th est 23:59

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
An uncharacteristically serious and on time Elsa (after recovering from her shrieking fit when Aldo's corpse starts moving again) firmly votes NAY. Promising that if others will join her, she'll give the chancellorship to the honorable Burgrave the next round and they'll start finally investigating some of these suspicious folks, unlike the close lipped fascists.

"The sad fact is that Josef....or rather I should say his father... either didn't bother to look into anyone the last round, or wanted the results kept to himself. He also dodged the question on that which should say a lot. Only the fascists who are already colluding with each other don't need to make use of such tools."

"I also don't trust Julia at all. She made a show of asking for the woman who publically cast suspicions on her, knowing full well that would make her look trustworthy but also that the law prevented Bernadette from actually being chosen. I'd like to remind everyone before that she caused a fascist policy to be passed and just laughed it off as a prank... she's got a history of this kind of deflection and SHOULD have been the one investigated the last round, if Josef had been doing his job. But I'm sure his father will no doubt have some flimsy excuse for that too."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
"Don't throw around these wild accusations," Josef's father grunts, "I'm withholding my investigation results to root out the other fascist. Julia's suspiciousness has been noted, don't worry."

"That being said, I will also vote Nay."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
After eating a bratwurst produced mysteriously from the deep folds of his clothing, Herr Fleischer claps his big, greasy, sweaty hand together.

"While this Jew is a repulsive example of subhuman vermin, I also expect this particular human shaped mass of greed and treachery to do all they can to help the liberal cause. While Aldo didn't leave me much to ease my transition into politics (other than saying it would drive me to drink, a destination I have already arrived at) I did take a sneak peek at Bernadette's notes. I think the filthy Christ slayer is actually a safer vote than some of us Lutherans. God save us all."

Fleischer votes "aye"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
"Ah, It's the president we're suspicious of, not the Jew. Knee jerk response, my apologies. I will change my vote to 'Nay.' I also had not realized Julia was her Christian name. Strange, I usually hold my liquor better."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
>liberal cause

I think you meant "libreal".

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

"Nay."

Not sure if it's a loophole but theoretically if everyone votes nay, does that mean Bernadette could be the chancellor next round? So that way, if we keep following this formula, it's guaranteed Hitler will never ascend as chancellor and it's all based on the luck of the cards/ our ability to figure out who's who. Though I suppose that might take away all the fun lol.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
(That's how SH in my friend group died, lol. We all got too good at playing Liberal.)

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

Not sure if it's a loophole but theoretically if everyone votes nay, does that mean Bernadette could be the chancellor next round?

This rule is based on which people were part of the last succesful government. Failed governments don't count, otherwise people will be using a loophole like this.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 9

10 months ago

After everyone has welcomed our new politician Hans Fleischer, an unanimous decision was made to veto this government.

With this Frau Elsa is named president.

@mizal

Who will be the next chancellor? 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
If @ISentinelPenguinI turns out to be Hitler I will choke him through the screen. ...but I'm pretty sure he's not. Nominating Burgrave as promised.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

I will vote for myself! I trust no one else with the position. Not at this stage in the game!

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

Nay

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
"So the fascist vote is in. Anyone else?"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago
Fleischer looks around, his hands full of schnitzel and potato. "Is there a table of some kind?" Then, ignoring the abundance of tables and similar furniture, scoots his tremulous bulk off the chair and into the floor and begins eating off the ground.

"Ist wunderbar! Oh, and I vote Aye. Eating and politicking at the same time is so challenging."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

Bernadette makes a quick note about the similarities between Elsa and the Burgrave. Both have enacted a liberal policy as president, yet passed a fascist one as chancellor (while claiming to have received two fascist policies - though this was impliedly verified by the presidents). What are the odds of this happening twice? Would they be doomed ‘by the cards’ once again?

Despite her suspicions, which extends to everyone that isn’t her, she will vote aye.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

Deadline for voting is January 17th 23:59

Secret Hitler - election cycle 9

10 months ago

The results are in: multiple ayes and 1 nay, which means that Frau Elsa and The venerable Burgrave will be Germany's president and chancellor.

The other politicians are waiting with full anticipation and utter anxiousness whether there was something the burgrave was hiding behind his upper lip. They conducted a search and it turns out that.....

.......

The burgrave IS NOT Hitler! 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

ANNOUNCEMENT

From the slimey entrails Her Aldo graciously left behind, there was a message to be found in the form of tactically placed Strudels and a post-it-note

The strudels formed an arrow that was pointed at the piece of paper which has by now been soaked with a slimey substance.

"I have left to descend to greater heights. However don't be saddened, because there is a worthy successor to carry out my will."

@Petros will be replacing Corgi!

Petros, do you want to introduce yourself?

Of course you are also allowed to vote this round!

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8

10 months ago

A man of rather astounding girth trundles through the door, sweating rivulets. On his face is a smile and both his meaty fists are closed right around the handle of a beer mug. As he walks through the room to take a seat, panting with exertion, those who are unfortunate enough to be close to his path can feel the floor shake.

"The name's Hans Fleischer. So very sorry. I hope I was on time." He take a long swig from the beer mug in his left, then the right. "Okay, time for politicking."

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago
An extremely annoyed Elsa will storm back in midway through the voting period and announce that APPARENTLY, the Reichstag's private investigator had "mysteriously disappeared" right after Josef's father gained access to him.

"And I've been told we cannot hire more, there's officially not enough wheelbarrows of money in all of Germany to afford this."

"I think it's pretty plain by this point that Julia "accidentally" "as a prank" pushed through a policy that she knew would allow Josef's father to do this. And then he kept it quiet and hoped no one would notice until Bernadette's questions brought it to our attention. After that, he simply tried to ignore her and refused to answer."

Elsa would also bitterly complain that no one had ever mentioned to her that they only had one detective on staff.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago

Bernadette nods, agreeing that Josef ought to reveal the results of who he inspected. “The worst that can happen? Either a fascist knows we’re onto them or we can guarantee someone is a liberal. But if a fascist policy somehow gets enacted, well, we don’t want the only person with information to be killed off.”

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago
"Well, since you all insist" Josef's father replies, slowly. "The private investigator I hired was sent after Freidrich, who was caught engaging in fascist-like activity in their basement."

"...Unfortunately, the investigator was also wounded gravely by an unknown party in retaliation and fled soonafter, I spent the rest of my presidency searching for him."

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago
@TypewriterCat

"What say you to these allegations?"

"I want to be clear that I trust Josef's father not at all...we don't even know his name for crying out loud, and what has he done to poor Josef? These charges could be completely fabricated. But Herr Friedrich did nominate Julia Merkel, and together they passed a fascist policy with Friedrich remaining silent on the reason. Friedrich has also been lurking suspiciously for quite some time as if to deflect attention from himself."

"I'm not making any judgements one way or another, but it's about time you have something to say for yourself."

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago

Freidrich casts a mildly annoyed glare in the direction of all the politicians, who seem insistent on making him do actual work. "If you truly must know, I was handed one liberal policy and two fascist. I removed one fascist before sending it over to Frau Merkel."

His reasoning for nominating Frau Merkel is that she'd been rather nice to him on a few occasions prior to the meeting and also he'd forgotten everyone else's names.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago
@Darius_Conwright

Could you reply to the OP for the next game update to put it at the bottom of the thread? Makes finding new posts a bit easier.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago

Will do, the last round I made a mistake, but stuck with it to keep things in one place

Secret Hitler - election cycle 10

10 months ago

ANNOUNCEMENT

After long deliberation, president Elsa and Chancellor Burgrave have decided to cast a 

LIBERAL POLICY

With this, the Reichstag only needs to pass one more liberal policy to save democracy. Will this be the eye of victory for the liberals, or will the fascists make a comeback? There's always a chance that Hitler will be elected or that there will be a slew of fascist policies from now on. Remember, there are always more fascist policies than liberal ones. 

------------

Yes, the fact that there are now two active threads with Nazis in them also hasn't escaped me. 

---------------

@Petros

Her Fleischer will now be the next president. Please choose your chancellor and may it not be Hitler.

Deadline is January 18th 23:59

Secret Hitler - election cycle 10

10 months ago
"I dislike being so blunt, but at this stage in things? You should just choose Bernadette, or every liberal here is voting NAY faster than you can...well, anything requiring physical movement, probably."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 10

10 months ago
After finishing shoveling a bowlful of sauerkraut into his mouth with his meaty hands (which he then swallows after a disturbingly sensual moan), Herr Fleischer stands. There is an awkward pause as he struggles to perform this basic motor task. While it was generally assumed that he stood to graciously accept responsibility or the advice he was given, he instead turns to where he was sitting and picks up a warm, sweaty mug of beer. After taking a long, noisy swig, he nods.

"Indeed, my nomination goes to the honorable Bernadette, though in my personal opinion, women should not be in politics as it takes them away from the sacred space of the kitchen."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 10

10 months ago
Josef's father crinkles his nose at Fleischer's pig-like display, but begrudgingly agrees with an 'Aye'.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 10

10 months ago

Aye

Secret Hitler - election cycle 10

10 months ago

aye

Secret Hitler - election cycle 10

10 months ago

Deadline for voting is also January 18th 23:59 est

Secret Hitler - election cycle 10

10 months ago

And with an unanimous aye, the Reichstag has elected Her Fleischer and Frau Klaus as the next president and chancellor. 

And of course, Frau Klaus IS NOT Hitler.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago

ANNOUNCEMENT

A tragedy has struck the lovely city of Berlin. Her Meeku's body is found in the garbage bin next to the Konditorei. The coroner stated that Her Meeku's death isn't a natural one, mainly due to the many stab wounds inflicted on his chest, head, legs and basically everywhere. However, the main cause of death was probably the massive hand imprint on the front of Meeku's bludgeoned face. The only reason the police were able to identify him was because Her Meeku left behind some fingerprints in case someone hate crimes him.

Just before the coroner had admitted himself to the sanatorium to 'cleanse his mind from all evils', he gave one lasting verdict on the possible perpretrator. 

"Meine Gott, Her Meeku is not killed by any other petty thief, it was a cold hearted kill from someone who wants him gone and had taken on faith himself with his own fleshy hands. I cannot say anything anymore. They know, everyone knows, the Sausage lard splatters Ahhhhrghhhhh."

In short, it was in the Reichstag a very open secret that Her Fleischer seized the opportunity of a destabilized government and used this newfound power to eradicate his sworn political rival who was hopefully Hitler.

Unfortunately, from the remains the police is unable to see the party loyalty papers of Her Meeku. The only thing they are able to conclude is that

HER MEEKU IS NOT HITLER

RIP SURANNA @Suranna you're out of the game. If you want to leave a will or some lasting words, you may do so.  (You are not allowed to reveal whether you are a liberal or a fascist)

--------------------

Now the presidency will go to the Burgrave after the rather bloody display of our previous president.

@ISentinelPenguinI

Choose your chancellor. Who will your pick be? 

You have till Saturday 23:59 est to do so.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago

Hopefully it doesn't lead to murder.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago

“Someone is going to die!”

Bernadette rushes past the doors, breathing heavily, panic in her eyes. Then, she glances the newly dead corpse. “Oh, that already happened.”

“But you!” she accuses, pointing a finger at Herr Fleischer. “You framed me with two exact same policies! Then you killed this Jew, just like a Hitler would! What do you have to say for yourself?”

Despite the death, or maybe because of it, she attempts to analyze the situation logically. “This probably wasn’t the worst though. I know we’re not supposed to say bad things about the dead, but truth be told, I suspected Herr Meeku was a fascist. Did you notice he only voted ‘aye’ in round 3 (where the Burgrave selected Freidrich as chancellor) and round 6 (where Freidrich selected Julia as chancellor)? Then he pretty much disappeared for everything else until round 8 where he asked Julia for chancellorship. Still, these are mere speculations.”

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago
"Look lady," Fleischer said sucking some unknown (and frighteningly red) sauce off of his pudgy fingers. "I knew it was a bad idea to bring women into politics. They're emotionally driven instead of logical like us men."

He looked around for rapport, and whether from dissonance with his politics, or disgust at his porcine frame, he received none. Undaunted, he continued.

"The policies drafted mor me to peruse were all fascist in nature. Something that disgusted me. There is not a fascist bone in my body. I probably hate Jews less than average. I love matzah balls."

Fleischer took an object out of his coat pocket, blew his nose into it, but quickly realized that what he had mistaken for his handkerchief was actually a slice of cheese. Conflict arose in his eyes, and only after looking at the disapproval of all those present did he return the cheese to his pocket, uneaten.

"Look, should I have killed a definite fascist... yes. On the other hand, I have accomplished a greater goal of avenging Aldo. Don't all of you remember when the suspiciously faggy Jew entered your midst How Aldo was reduced to an insensate pile of living gore? Herr Miku was a menace. I think this is a killing liberals and fascists alike can agree was for the greater good."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago

To clarify. Frau Klaus' and Her Fleischer's government lead to a fascist policy being enacted, hence the poor cover-up assassination.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago
"Augh, the fascists saw the writing on the wall and just had to get Jew killing out of their system before it was too late! Fleischer probably ate a few too!"

Elsa chugs a flask of laudanum and takes a few steadying breaths. "But, while unfortunate, this is no time to panic. And at least no one human was hurt. However we must proceed very carefully, this next election will decide things once and for all."

"I believe we still can save Germany from the fascist takeover! I mean it's not like something so important will come down to a random draw or anything like that!" A laugh bordering on the hysterical, and another sip.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago

Now, I know this looks like an increasingly insular circle of people in power, but I'm pretty sure that Frau Else isn't Hitler, and as somebody who knows themselves that they are neither Hitler nor Fascist, it seems to me that her endorsement of this German Triumverate is wholly liberal in its goals! For this reason, I select Elsa for my Chancellor.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago
"Aye to that!" Elsa raises her laudanum in a toast. Before announcing she's going to have a little lie down to prepare to save Germany tomorrow.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago
"Aye." Fleischer said, munching on a dripping piece of folded cheese

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago
Josef's father casts a slightly suspicous glance towards Elsa, but hollers an 'aye' anyway.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11

10 months ago

It's been an unanimous decision again. The Burgrave will be the next president and Frau Elsa the next chancellor. May they save democracy once and for all or may their decision lead to a step closer to a fascist takeover.

And her upper lip has been checked

Frau Elsa IS NOT Hitler.

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago
Elsa is witnessed alone in the council chamber after closing hours, crying into a bucket of genetically pure white ice cream. "Burgrave has gone mad!"

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago

The Burgrave enters the reichstag the next morning, completely fuming, "Traitors and pranksters, the lot of you! How much time have you all spent drafting legislation, and yet all you bastards could think to give me were fascist!? My heart weeps for Germany and the future of its veterans!"

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago
"There's a fascist between these two, from what I can tell," Josef's father remarks. "Best to ignore both, just to be safe."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

Apparently both Frau Elsa and the Burgrave have stormed out of the negotiation table prematurely to announce the tragic fact that ANOTHER FASCIST policy has been enacted. Was it a pure tragedy of unfortunate chances or a scheme of both or one of the parties involved.

Anyway, after their brief exchange, another ASSASSINATION has been made. During his cold rage, the Burgrave has called some of his old subordinates from the cavalry and together they wanted revenge, justice and above all; a deader than dead Hitler. In the midst of the cold January night the veterans sneaked into the house of JULIA MERKEL. The day after their team bonding exercise, Frau Merkel was declared missing by the German Polizei. A week later, one of her hands was found in a stable in Dresden. The other hand was in a horse's stomach. The other remains haven't been found yet, but there are theories floating around that the war horses hadn't been fed for several weeks and were particularly hungry.....

In the Burgrave's old family estate, the police have at last found her half rotten head resting on a pike and a sticky note plastered on her forehead: Fresh is a traitor and deserves death. Let her be beheaded with the liberal cavalry sabre of a true German patriot.

Luckily the Burgrave had managed to keep things quiet for the public. A few trillion mark was enough to keep the police and newspapers quiet, but it was still an open secret that ....

BURGRAVE ASSISSINATED FRAU MERKEL.

And sadly her head didn't have any hidden pencil moustache. Before her death she unfortunately destroyed all her party loyalty papers, but we are still certain that:

FRAU MERKEL ISNT HITLER.

@fresh_out_the_oven you're dead. Do you have any will to pass to anyone? You are not allowed to reveal whether you are a fascist or a liberal.

------

@PerforatedPenguin

The fate of the entire country seems to now rest on the tiny shoulders of a young boy. May he save democracy and smack fascism to the pits of hell where it belongs: in the basement of a degenerate Serbian incel. Or doom the entire country.

Pick your chancellor.

 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

This is now a tight race. There is neither leeway for the liberals nor for the fascists. The next policy will decide everything and bring an end to this nailbitingly tense game,

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago
"No one really has any hope, we can only pass the laws put in front of us and at BEST that might as well be entirely a matter of chance. I can't follow any of this nonsense anymore," Elsa tearfully complains, laying a newspaper aside and massaging her temples.

"But I still don't trust anyone else but Bernadette, even given her recent misstep. In a presidency run by Josef's father though, she'll likely just have any efforts at liberalism sabotaged," she admits with a sigh. "I fear Germany has a dark future ahead no matter how many minorities we deport."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

“It is looking rather grim,” Bernadette admits. “But we have a chance to save Germany, however slim. Veto power is unlocked this round. Hypothetically speaking, as long as both the president and chancellor are liberal, all fascist policies would be vetoed. We just have to survive until a liberal policy finally surfaces.”

Also, a question: if a fascist policy is enacted but Hitler is killed the same round, which side wins?

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

Well, the fascists need 6 policies to win. After the sixth policy is enacted, then the fascists immediately win. There is no extra kill granted and kills have to be announced immediately.

So this kind of situation will never occur.

The deck has been reshuffled. So there are again two liberal policies and six fascist ones on the deck.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago
>A few trillion marks

.0001 of a piece of penny candy!

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago
Josef's father grimly eyes the remaining politicians, and points his finger toward Bernadette, the only choice that isn't possibly Hitler.

He also gestures toward the stacks of newspapers on the table, many of which reported on liberal policies that he had helped to pass.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago


Elsa stalks in in her traveling coat, and her lip curls as she looks over the fresh stack of fascist policies up for discussion.

"Any of those legalize child murder yet?" she'd ask cattily upon noticing Josef's father.

She lingers just long enough to vote AYE for Bernadette, then boards a train for Switzerland, announcing to the press she's leaving both politics and medicine and buying a dairy farm.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago
"Nay. The triumvirate of "liberals" has proven untrustworthy as my mother-in-law's sauerbraten (or a moist fart). I'll not trust anyone save myself in these dark times."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

Nein! The man was an accomplice in the murder of his own child.

Jk, child murder is legit. I vote AYE.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago
psst You're dead.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

Oh lol. I didn't read the giant post due to limited time.
But dead people get to vote in AMERICAN elections :(

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

"Aye," Bernadette says. "At least this time, if you're given three fascist policies, we can both agree to veto it."

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago
I actually forgot the veto power was in, maybe things aren't as dependant on the loaded dice as they looked.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

I'll let votes still trickle in till 23:59 est this day 

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

The last election has ENDED. The proposed policies will be sent to Frau Bernadette and Her Josef

Secret Hitler - election cycle 12

10 months ago

Of course, Frau Bernadette is not Hitler. 

However, the most important question is whether one of them is a fascist....

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago
Commended by Mystic_Warrior on 1/23/2024 7:13:52 PM

Her Josef and Frau Bernadette; the last bastions of liberal democracy have enacted their policy: it is a 
LIBERAL policy

After many trials and tribulations, the liberals have waded through the darkest hour to finally claim their VICTORY. Germany is saved and the fascist movements have one by one been dismantles till they were reduced to small fringe groups that gather in their mother's basements.

As for the fascists that had been arrested; there were indeed four main traitors within the Parliament. Frau Merkel (fresh) and Her Fleischer were Hitler's underlings. After witholding food from Her Fleischer, he confessed that the late Her Aldo was also part of this conspiracy.

As for who Hitler is:
Of course it is HER FREIDRICH, the poor man dressed as a wealthy gentleman.

@mizal 
@Petros
@ISentinelPenguinI
@PerforatedPenguin
@Mystic_Warrior
@Suranna - DEAD
@TypewriterCat
@fresh_out_the_oven -DEAD

Thank you all for participating and lasting till the end!

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago

I got two out of three, not too bad! My guess for the third fascist was between Meeku and Fleischer, but I ended up mistakenly believing it was Meeku because 1) Aldo seemed too obvious so I thought he was trolling, 2) I didn't think a fascist was as likely to leave the game since it's a slightly more exciting role, and 3) close to the end, I'd have thought a fascist president would kill one of the more trusted but slightly suspected liberals, since their advantage lies in the liberals not knowing who to trust and voting them in. Well done to Petros and Corgi for fooling me though.

Also, sorry TCat, but if it wasn't for Fresh's uncharacteristic backtracking, I would never have guessed lol. 

Thank you for hosting this, Darius! It was really fun to take part in. 

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago
I mentioned to others that I did suspect TCat. But I also suspected Suranna.

TCat by the final rounds was a little too obviously doing the "avoid attention by barely showing up" strategy. But then I had to wonder if Peng was a fascist framing the slightly suspicuous person after he avoided sharing the investigation results until pressed.

I am VERY glad the liberals won. Not because it saved Germany, but because it would've been too embarassing losing to basically just Fresh given that she was missing a partner to scheme with for a large portion of the game.

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago

I found it interesting how the ones who were most vocal at defending themselves turned out to be liberal. Honestly, I thought it'd be the other way around going into the game. 

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago
I don't really play social deduction games and didn't expect to end up very invested in the game at all, so basically just invented a silly character to help keep things moving in any lulls.

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago

I play a lot of mafia and werewolf with my siblings, so I've always enjoyed this type of thing. But I'm terrible at lying in person. They can always tell, and besides, I prefer to play detective and come up with strategies.

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago

It surprised me too that the liberals were so much more proactive in the game. I mostly decided who the fascists were based on a dice roll, but I (mistakingly) thought that Corgi would help prop the other two fascists up and that both teams were pretty even. 

I'll dole out some points to the more active participants.

 

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago
Meeku being suspect was the main reason I killed her. Although killing one of the trusted three might be more advisable, I knew I was able to kill her without garnering suspicion

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago
Minor mistake in that list, Fresh is also DEAD.

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago

I'm honestly surprised I got as far as I did, seeing as I'm a heinously bad strategist. Obviously I'd do better if I thought before I, y'know, spoke. I was hoping you'd think I was tryna cover for TypeCat because we're friends, but alas...

Secret Hitler - RESULTS

10 months ago
I knew it

Secret Hitler - Game thread

10 months ago
The final liberal policy has been passed! The entire country can finally heave a sigh of relief before turning their attention to less existence-threatening tasks at hand.

Josef's father tips his hat at the remaining politicians, muttering that he cannot stomach this 'politik' stuff anymore, before turning to take his leave. Rumor has it that the very night the man was spotted outside of the city dividing up money with the crew of men he arrived with, along with a sobbing woman recognized from one of the whorehouses nearby. He was seen heading south toward the Mediterraneans, and was heard from no more.

Just rumors, of course.