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Have any of y'all ever been in a situation where you thought one thing and "denied" it, because you felt if you accepted it, it would become true, and you don't want it to become true because you deny it even though you think it anyway?

To the title: no, you're not.

The the paragraph, nope.

I'm pretty sure we all feel that complicated, and I'm pretty sure everyone has that kind of thought every once in a while but it was too complicated over something initially trivial to begin with.

Drak its not a paragraph, really. More like a run on sentence. 

To put it simple: Have you ever wanted something that you felt was wrong?

Of course, I'm not gonna say what it is. Because its not true....

No :p

Well, I kinda feel like that. I think the original question narrows it closer to what I feel but its not completely right either. 

I feel messed up and sick. 

Don't

There was a point in my life when I seriously wanted to convince someone to kill, or just outright kill by my own hand, my 1st grade bullies, (It was horrible, because there really weren't that many programs against it that weren't either trying too hard to appeal to kids, or were pacifistic shit scripts, and you wouldn't be able to tell kids that age about suicide and the results of bullying,) co there were points when I practically cried myself to sleep whilst screaming inside weighing the risks against the benefits, and realizing how powerless and useless I was at the same time because I couldn't kill them.

I'm glad I didn't, I'd probably only be a horrible person on the news for a week, and then people would forget, and I might have gotten a subarticle in wikipedia for being a first grade murderer, but that would be about it. And besides, most of those guys turned out to be pretty cool mature guys anyway. The ones that remained jackasses are just sob stories, and however harsh it may sound, attention will always be the closest thing they'll have in life to affection. It's sadder too because they themselves seem to think that too...

Not really what I was talking about but it does help in a way. I keep thinking if I tell myself "no" I won't screw anything up. At the same time, its hard not to.

Why? Are you taking your first steps on the path to getting laid or something? (not meaning to be rude, I'm just trying to follow your train of thought, the problem is mine goes straight for the gutter...) Are you having a spiritual journey of discovery? Are you practicing necromancy?

Its more of a "love" situation, not "sex".  I'm 15 geez. 

I know the feelz, bro. It's some seriously complicated shit, but if you can channel your inner sociopath to keep your empathy out of conversations just enough to keep shit from getting awkward and to push the right Darwinial buttons, I can almost guarantee you'll get through this relatively unscathed. If you need some Dr. Phil-ing later on on the small chance that you fail in your endeavors, I'll still be in this thread later.

Good luck, and best wishes.

Yeah, I'm trying to not screw up my life or anyone else's. Love is complicated. Just sometimes I get....lonely. 

Are you considered very ugly by otter standards? Because as long as you're bigger than the other otters you should be just fine, your kinsmen can be quite simple that way.

So there's not really anyone in particular, just a yearning? If so, it's just a depressing hormonal side effect of puberty and can be gotten over, it's simply your brain violently pressing new buttons for the first few times, which can be uncomfortable. Unless you don't socialize much, then it could be something I'm not qualified to deal with. If there's someone you actually like, you should just be yourself around them. If you have to act to be with her, that's no life to live and should be backed out of immediately.

Isn't hugs a gal?

That's one smart penguin, he gives good advice. If you do have a specific someone in mind, I'd say go for it. As they say: better to cry for a day than spend an eternity wondering 'what if'

I mostly talked to family over the summer, 80% of it the ones who live with me so no not much social ness then. That's why I was on here but its not the same a real people. When I went back to school, I was happy but still feel lonely every now and then. My thoughts have just been crazy. They've jumped around better an worse. It's making me anxious and sick. I never said there wasn't someone

 And have I ever clarified I was a guy? I've never specified my gender on here....

Seemed like a female to me, but whatever :P It's the inter net after all.

I'm in mostly the same boat, but I'm a intelligent, cynical ass so my loneliness is rather deserved . . .

Meh, I'm in an all boys school now, so I worry less on gender to opposite gender communication haha. Easier that way.

don't you get a little lonely? or do you and Aman have some serious bromance on the side? =P

Wait Tan knows Aman in rl?

Yup, for a while actually.

Years of pain for him, years of amusement for me. 

I just keep imagining you walking up to Tal and punching him with your mustache now . . .

Mustache boxing is a favored sport.

Of course.

Wait, what?  you have a musta-----

*taken away by his cameo in deadman walking... Again XD

Yeah why were you a bearded sledge man exactly, Aman? shouldn't have you been a mustache sporting badass?

A long time ago, in a distant land, BZ and I were joking about rabbi jokes. What kind of rabbi has a mustache? 

Do you mean rabbit?

No? 

A rabid one.

OH....them puns

Of course- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/17/rabbi-shmuley-beard-congress_n_1891031.html

He...promoted his beard? Not nearly as good as a purple mustache.

Nah, don't worry, he has a 'Stache. Haha!

is it purple? :l

Nope. Why? 

PMR.

Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation?

Purplemustachesrule!!!!

Purple Mustaches? I once saw Aman wear one to a rave.

*edited out*

When it comes to friends, rarely. Sometimes, perhaps, but I usually brush it off. Thankfully, I have a close family so I stay sane, even if I talk to myself at times XD

I don't think I could do an all male school . . . if nothing else I enjoy a little eye candy.

I always talk to myself . . .

Is talking to no one about the same? Cause I don't answer myself very much. 

There's only a problem when you argue with yourself

Talking to the wall is the same as yourself, it's your thoughts bouncing back after all haha

Personally, talking to myself helps me do school projects, that are supposed to be done in groups, by myself. For some reason a second thought answers back. Not in a crazy way though, I don't hear voices or anything, it just helps me organize my thoughts.

I think out loud more than actually talk to myself

Oh, I don't actually speak, sometimes I do, but mostly it's just an internal monologue that runs on too long :P

^Usually this for me. lol I do the group(loner) projects the same way.

Usually get higher grades anyways XD

i was 14 my first time

What's the opposite of nostalgia? You know, when you're reminded of something and you're just glad you're living in the present and not the past? Yeah... my sympathies. I've been there, and it sucks.

You're back...ish.  /poke

Ish, yeah... I kinda went from working part-time to working overtime. Not really conductive to online roleplaying. :/

At least you are working. 

^That's a very good thing.

Yeah, no complaints. And my boss works twice as hard as anyone... I just hope we can collectively keep the business afloat.

well overtime is better than no-time, and you still RP more than me . . . and I don't have a job =/

How old are you?

Probably my age, or a tad bit older, or younger.

83 What age are you?

REGARDLESS OF THAT MORGAN'S ON.

Heh. Pretty sure I'm older than the two of you. Added together. XD

most likely, I'm 16 in a month

Oh hey! I thought you were older than that.

A few days late, but I give no fucks, here's a nice spponful of reply soup for Hugs's posts, not in correct order:

Oh, if you're 83 and your thoughts are jumping around, you should probably just take whatever pills your doctor gave you the right way and the problem would be solved. I only implied you were male because I was reliving a bitter moment in my life at the time of writing, and thus described it as it was. If there is a specific someone, by all means socialize the shit out of them, unless you feel so insecure that it would psychologically damage you to approach them. And unless your thoughts are, "Rape, Kill, Steal! Rain lightning and spikeballs down on their unworthy heads!" and are sheerly sexual, (unless there are implements of severely kinky shit, like sadomasochism, not like small unusual preferences) then you shouldn't feel sick, unless it's your first time witnessing the fluids and tools of intercourse. In that case, I felt sick too, and that can take a while to get over.

Nope, she's 15. Not sure what the 83 was

Far up above, hugs stated 

"83, what age are you?" in an age-related discussion. I was about to sarcastically strikethrough it.

Its a face! like XD and O.O

Otter faces   :3   ;3   X3   83

Geez you people have no imagination!

Oh, ANYWAYS, yeah, you shouldn't be sick of your thoughts, if you think they're really bad, tell them to someone who isn't the same age as you in a place where the whole world can't see.

I KNEW ITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X3

I JUST TURNED fifteen. Like, a week ago. ;ooooooo

...gnitseretnI

?shtuom ynam os evah ecaf taht did yhW

Exaggeration...

WHY DOESN'T THAT WORK WIHT MY FACES!?

TvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvT See? I look like a fucking bad version ofsome cartoon monster.

It doesn't work with cthulhu either...

(;,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,;) Sometimes I think the people who made latin-based text ar racist motherfuckers....

Six words for you and haha. 

What are the 6 words?

^ 

Holy shit... You're better at psychology than I tried to be just recently!

The six words are  six words for you and haha

Lol. I wasn't trying to. I was just thinking how saying

I got two words for you: Oh well!

Is actually 5..6....7 words. 

Oh, I see. I thought you had scientifically tricked me into saying "What are the 6 words?" which, because it was 6 words, or seemed to be until I saw I miscounted, really amazed the shit out of me (If I were 80 years older, I would have shat myself,) until I read Happy/Nata's post...

"What are the 6 words?" is only five words.

I know, I idn't realize I miscounted.

An now misspelled. Lol

Talking to someone isn't a terrible idea (even though it probably sounds like it is), IF you can find the right person. Unless, y'know, you're still in the convincing-yourself-it-isn't-true stage. But trust me, that's going to get old. Talking to someone may make it more real, but will hopefully also make it more okay. At least that was my experience.

You're welcome to PM me... I don't think it 'counts' nearly as much as actually talking to someone you know, but it could help.

.....

Holy cra- urhm.....

Anyway, it's not the same as that. Interesting story though. Ill finish it sometimes. Its just....different.....

The first part is a complete story, but then after that there's a second part that's really a cliffhanger and hasn't been updated in forever. Sadly, I don't think it's ever going to be finished.

Anyway, sorry if that was less than helpful. It's a story that meant a lot to me, back when I was getting over my bout of this-can't-possibly-be-true-so-I'm-going-to-pretend-it-isn't-true. But whatever you're dealing with, I guarantee you're not the only one. Which isn't really that helpful, I know... but it's something. :P

I know. I'm just trying to wait it out. It's been like a month. I guess that's not too long so ill wait longer. 

A month can be a really long time... but yeah, objectively, not so much.

And since I've demonstrated that have no idea what we're talking about, I have no further advice. XD

That's fine. You've helped despite what you think. 

Cool. I hope things get better. And seriously, feel free to PM me if you ever want someone to talk to.