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well, it's better than it was, at least. I'll draw a new one when my computer's fixed, until then...

 

hello, I'm AlixeTiir, aka SwedishLemon's more annoying older brother. You may envision me as a machine that makes awful puns and webcomics ocassionally. I like to be scared but no written work has scared me in eight years so if you've got a horror story I will read it to death.

 

thanks, bye

Eh, I've been told what I've written could give people nightmares. Depends, really, since fears are rather subjective. If the idea of having your skin peeled off by a demon who's taken the form of your best friend / being cooked alive unnerves you, my first game might be fun for you. If you're bothered by the idea of being buried alive, you might try... buried or if the idea of being a carnival freak is your thing, you could try geek. Survival horror, there are several of, and you might try Site 59: No escape and The Secret of Daphne.

If you want something more in the vein of psychological, there are a few of those... let's see... Atramentous comes to mind.

On the other hand, if you just want to be really disturbed by something rather than scared, there's always love SICK and Dispiteous. If you want to read something "so bad, it's scary" there's the three-part Spider Man Series, One Man Hide and Seek, and Room No 666 (the fun of those games is really just the reviews knocking them / your own ability to provide commentary...)

KIEL NO DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!

He will never be satisfied with what he considers to be 'mediocre' horror stories. Trust me, I've tried. The last game (written or otherwise) he got scared of was when he played the ending of Outlast and even then he only had like five hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He is an unstoppable demon, with the face of death.

also he's like really, really picky because he used to write creepypasta.

Pffffft... like creepypastas are ever actually scary.

Maybe he should try writing horror on here himself, though.

Yeah, like Still Winter wasn't scary.

You thought that was scary?

It's actually not scary but people seem to like it. It's the precursor to a high fantasy story that I never wrote.

I kind of liked the delivery, and the music was nice. It would have been neat if it had more streaming pictures in the background that represented each portion of the story. But it's hard to care or feel anything for a protagonist that is so dumb. Kill the beast. Then loot his cave.

seems like you're criticizing the video more than the story. He didn't make the video, he wrote the story which many people have narrated.

Uh... what are you talking about? I definitely criticized the story. The ending was borderline ridiculous, and the protagonist was an absolute moron. Also, the premise is unbelievable. An Earth with no living plants would mean no animals. This is a basic principle of science and energy.

"It would have been neat if it had more streaming pictures in the background that represented each portion of the story."

That isn't a criticism of the story, that's a criticism of the video.

Plus, it's fiction. It doesn't have to make that much sense. I swear, you sound just like my brother who constantly whines whenever a show isn't scientifically accurate. I MEAN, OF COURSE IT WOULDN'T BE POSSIBLE BUT IT'S COOL!

But it's hard to care or feel anything for a protagonist that is so dumb. Kill the beast. Then loot his cave.

Okay, seriously, if you're going to comment, read the post. That's a story criticism. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the video. If you can't feel any emotion for the MC, then he's not a good character. The reader needs a reason to care, either by rooting for him or against him.

And in fiction, there is a thing called "suspension of disbelief." The moment you break your readers' willingness to suspend disbelief, you've failed. The big reveal of this story is that the planet is, in fact, Earth. Therefore, if you want the story to make sense, you need to abide by the scientific laws that govern Earth, or otherwise explain them away with something credible in your plot. This story does not do that, and that undermines the entire premise. Just slapping something into a story because it's "cool" with no bearing on the plot or logical rationale is weak and lazy writing. And this is the same reason why Deus ex Machina solutions are garbage and mocked.

Now, I understand this is your brother, and you want to stand up for his writing. But no one gets any better by hand waving gaping holes in the structure and plot.

but Kai isn't even the main character

he was introduced purely for the reveal at the end. :\ The entire story is just meant to be a twist.

Okay, if the reader can't even identify the MC, then you've also failed.

Look, I don't see why you're so hung up on this. The story wasn't absolute shit or anything, but it wasn't particularly good either. And it definitely has a fair number of flaws. The way to improve as a writer is to acknowledge these flaws and find ways to fix them, not by making excuses and sweeping them under the rug.

I wrote it when I was like, fifteen years old. I'm sure my writing is a lot better/much worse by now. Probably the latter. Definitely. Maybe. We'll see. 

Wait, wait... "The big reveal of this story is that the planet is, in fact, Earth." So, I wasn't supposed to assume that going in? Well, I guess I ruined the twist for myself. xD I thought the mystery was "how did Earth get so bad" and the reveal was "omg, science, it was our own fault." (Like it always is, of course.)

how come you can criticize things and sound human but when bucky does it he comes across as an inhuman horse foot with teeth. (i.e, an abomination against all that is righteous)

Edit locking this because it's just such a bizarre and incoherent thing to say.

Is... wait... shots fired?

#BUCKYSABITCH

#BUCKYVSLEMONS

#LEMONSCANTTAKECRITICISM

why are people arguing over a four year old short story like it matters

Lemon said it was good. People disagreed, and he threw a glorified tantrum.

 

Not going to lie, this imagery made me laugh.

There's a difference between "Technically impossible but interesting" like Time Travel in Back to the Future or FTL in Star Wars, and "Fucking Ridiculous", such as "All plants are dead but animals are grand".

mutant animals are grand, not regular. Regular animals are all dead.

To be fair, there are living plants but the protagonist is an uneducated moron who doesn't realize it. Also, it is kind of ridiculous and over-the-top - intentionally so - because as I said, it was intended to be à precursor to a high fantasy.

WHICH we need to turn into a pen and paper game in my opinion.

Oh, hey, don't get me wrong Alix. (If you don't mind the nickname.) The entire time I was listening, I thought it suited the fantasy genre just fine, you should go for it.

@AlixeTiir

neato burrito

... Er, it's kind of a bad sign if I'm listening to a "scary story" and my mind gets bored enough to wonder "hey, what's that song's name again?" Now, you wanna see something that makes me jump, you should find one of those online, Korean (I think?) horror comics that doesn't warn you before hand that it's not just a comic. It's only scary once, but damn.

Alternatively, for stuff I find just very unsettling, there's the horror mangas I've read from Japan like "This Hole Is Made For Me" which ... the premise of really does get me. I can't explain why, but it does. ("School Mermaid" would be a second choice.) 

* Vaguely interested. Will read if you provide a link.

If you're asking about the Korean mangas with the, uh... interesting "surprises" in them? I don't remember their names and I didn't keep any links. It was something I found due to browsing topics here. If I dug, there's a slim chance I could find them, dunno.

The other stories, not a problem: 

The first: http://imgur.com/gallery/ZNSaq

The second: http://www.mangahere.co/manga/school_ningyo/

(Huh, turns out that second one is longer than I thought. I only read the first case back then.)

I read the hole one. T'was interesting.

did you enjoy it the hole way through

The dream sequences ruined the holes for me. It's more wrong when there's no explanation and you don't know what's going on until the end. It just left me thinking "how the fuck did Cavemen engineer those holes, and how the fuck did they know that would work!? And why are there holes that look exactly like people thousands of years after clothes and obesity were invented!?"

Spoilers are tiny.

Not really a Necro....

Are these the ones you are referring to? Link Link

@Kiel_Farren  Is that the same as the enigma of amigara fault?

Junji Ito +horror <3 

Oh & the Korean ones? Try Line Webtoon & look for Chiller.  I think Vault of Terror might too. 

Yes, that's the one. (Forgot it had another name.)

Thanks, will do, but I've been putting off sleep waaaay too long.

I finally got around to listening to this, and no, it wasn't great. Everything turning into a carnivore is as fucking ridiculous as a society of only bankers. I'm not really sure why the fuck he fell unconscious when he got home or why the beast didn't kill him. It wasn't particularly scary, the protagonist started investigating paper in the middle of a fucking hunt, Kal can for some reason read in the post apocalypse and I have no idea what the twist was supposed to be.

Sweet Dreams was playing in the background, though, so that was good.

*cough*

Please do IP check.

He's going to have the same IP as me. What would an IP check acomplish?

To prove you're a troll.

... I'm not. What is with you and Steve suspecting I'm responsible for the troll accounts? Kiel did IP checks on them. He knows I'm not one of them. My brother, AlixeTiir, has presence on many internet sites that proves he cannot be an alternate account.

Let's see here. His webcomic.

His wikia profile.

His twitter.

Need I go on?

wow cool, shameless promotion of my webcomic already

._.

It's a gag. Go on with it.

If his older brother loged on to cys, that doesn't mean he's a troll because of it. Not sure why you're all saying sl is a troll, he hasn't even done much to prove you right on that. He seems to be a productive member and is even working on a story. A IP check wouldn't do anything anyway, because of corse he and his brother will have the same IP.

Mason, that does not in any way prove SL is a troll. -_- I have siblings on this website, and if I hadn't moved states, I'd be sharing an IP with them. If you're going to accuse someone, please have a good reason.

Now, the Kiel response of "Let's all be polite and logical" is all well and good, but fuck it, I'm with Mason.

But Mason isn't even with himself on this. xD He backpedaled before he even really began.

I know. It's a fucking pain to be upon the side of someone who can't argue for shot, but I stand by it in that Lemon and his brother are the same person.

cool. You can look me up though. Unless Lemon spent years creating fake social media profiles and implanting false memories into the brain of a guy name Joe then you're wrong.

Wait, you do? o-o

Who are they?

We have one Lemons already... can I call you.. um..

I want to call you something original.

 

"Something original" is a terrible nickname.

You could call me Alix, like Kiel and many other people across the internets do, but that's not really a nickname. Honestly, no one's ever given me a nickname and I think it's just because I don't have an easily adaptable username.

"Something original" wasn't a nickname.. x:

I'll think of one and then you'll just have to be overwhelmed!

Expect everything about the english language to be criticized by him. He doesn't know what hyperbole, metaphors, or figures of speech are.

Actually, he does. He just pretends like he doesn't because it annoys me.

Don't listen to him, he loves it when I annoy him. 

STOP TALKING!!!

I'm not talking, I'm typing.

So you're willing to do Regular Show references with me in real life but not over the internet?

I can only tell that they're Regular Show references from deriving contextual cues from your body language and facial expressions. You know that I don't watch cartoons.

coughnerdcough

E = hv/λ

stop speaking nerd.

Is that "Stop speaking, nerd." or "Stop speaking nerd [the language which nerds speak]"?

Now, now, get along please. :)

They're siblings. Siblings do this.

Yup!

Now if they are the same person, he is mentally insane, so I truly hope, and believe that they are two different people.