Sins of the Father

SPOILER WARNING: DON'T READ THIS REVIEW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET SPOILED. CHECK OUT THE OTHER REVIEWS FOR NON SPOILER THOUGHTS.

“Sins of the Father” was a really fun mystery game, and it’s definitely worthy of being featured in the mystery/thriller category. Unlike many other mystery/thriller games on CYS, you don’t just relax and go on the ride, exploring the story as the mystery is eventually unraveled and solved for you; here, you do it yourself! It’s like one of those Cook-it-yourself Korean BBQ places, or YC’s, this delicious Mongolian grill place where you cook absurd amounts of noodles, meat, beans, and an assortment of vegetables, then eat the entire mix. And like any great restaurant, this story takes you through a journey, immersing you in the dark and frightening tale that Will11 skillfully spins in this dark English Manor, successfully balancing a whodunit game-based mechanic where the player has to guess who the killer of young Saville Graves is, with a strong mystery story that gets more frightening as you go through each room of the strange and haunted manor.

I thought Will did an excellent job with the prose. He does an excellent job of grounding this story in 1860, and making the mood and tone feel appropriate and consistent with the time period of the setting. Rather than overloading the readers with purple prose and overly long and gratuitous descriptors, Will keeps it short and terse, letting the story speak for itself and keeping the momentum of the story snappy, fast, and urgent. I like how Will writes the first page mostly in dialogue, we get to see the police’s befuddlement and the details of the case for ourselves. There’s no time wasted, and as an intro, there’s little that I can do to improve it, as it stands on its own as a fantastic way to bring the reader into the world of Somerset and the Hanging Hill House. The reasoning behind the time mechanic, not wanting the news to get out, was also logical and it made sense. I’m glad that Will11 was able to weave the clever game mechanic of the time limit into the story, without it breaking immersion or seeming illogical in any respect. This is what I mean by balancing the game aspect and the actual narrative, because the game needs to be engaging, fun, and actually a bit complex while being supported by a strong story and good narration.

I liked the array of different “Difficulty” settings that Will offered. Essentially, the easier the difficulty, the more moves you get. You get 125 moves if you choose Easy, you get 100 moves if you choose Normal, you get 75 moves if you choose Hard, and you get Impossible. I played the game on Easy, but I’m pretty sure now that I know the solution, I can play it on Impossible, but I bet that Will made it so that you can only beat the game on Impossible by cheating(i.e. using the back button so the moves don’t count). I’d highly recommend playing this game with a paper and pencil, there are a good amount of details, and Will does a good job of making this mystery actually solvable, since so many mystery novels just take you along for the ride without really giving you much opportunity to try it yourself.

The list of suspects, ranging from the young Eveline Graves, barely one year out of the womb, to Samuel Graves, the patriarch of the family and the eldest, at 59 years of age. My first instinct was to eliminate everyone under the age of 18, since I thought it highly unlikely that a kid would commit this dastardly deed, but something stayed my hand. Some sort of premonition perhaps, as this later paid off, but that’s for later. Suffice it to say, for now, I kept all options open, and even the toddlers weren’t ruled out in my investigation.

I love the Gothic setting Will establishes with this story. He does a great job of enhancing the mystery with the creepy and unsettling details. Everything, from the faces peering out of the window, to the oak tree with an old weathered rope hanging from it, brings to mind a sense of death and the macabre. The fact that the rope is a noose brings to mind themes of righteous justice, and punishing the wicked by hanging, the most severe capital punishment of the time. It was also incredibly terrifying that the kid was killed in the privy. I tend to be someone with a pretty strong stomach, not a lot fazes me, but the idea of a 3 year old kid stabbed to death, laying motionless amid a pile of poop and shitty water is incredibly disturbing and horrifying to think about.

The family members were the heart and soul of this story. There is an element of tension and dysfunction that hung in the air, and made me viscerally uncomfortable. They were so fucking dysfunctional, good god! If I were a family psychiatrist, I’d be raking in the dough, because that family has so many issues. Everyone, from the 1 year old, to the Dad, to Constance Graves, the actual murderer, were incredibly interesting and almost came off of the page in terms of characterization and writing. I loved the way you wrote the different characters. In particular, you did an excellent job with Constance, since you made her creepy, with wide eyes and intense stare, but you don't overplay your hand. In fact, picking her may have seemed like the obvious choice, so many readers could have felt a bit doubtful and got stuck, adding to the mystery element. The strange bovine look brought to mind the dead eyed stare of serial killers I’ve seen in documentaries, yet I’m writing all this with the benefit of hindsight bias, having already solved the mystery.

This story rewards you for a completionist read. I believe that it would be difficult to solve this mystery without checking out as many rooms as you can, or at least ones that give you a picture of what’s really going on. For instance, although the Father wasn’t directly implicated in the murder, his testimony about his first wife dying, his eldest son Edward dying of scarlet fever, and him remarrying a woman his children disapproved of, added so much context to what was going on. In this respect, I believe that the mystery was intelligently designed and Will put a lot of thought into it, because as you keep reading, a picture of what happened slowly forms in your mind, and the answer will come to you, almost seemingly in a bolt of inspiration. Although in reality, it’s due to the steady feeding of little clues here and there that Will strategically planned, making it so that we get the answer around the same time we understand what’s really going on in the house.

I loved the time element, and how we got to see how different family members/servants interacted with young master Saville. The missing nightdress, the bloodsoaked evidence, it all was quite interesting to think about and turn over in my head. And the story keeps it so ambiguous that I kept pointing to a new person every 5 minutes, it was insane. I liked the strategies of trying on the various clothes, and seeing if they fit each of the women, that helped narrow the suspect pool, but it was still somewhat up in the air. There was also a red herring in the various testimonies, like Nutt for instance thought it was a grown man by virtue of the clean slice. So at times, it felt like it could have been anyone. The late diary helped, since it was clear that the first wife was bitter with how her husband shacked up with a new lady during her illness, so it’s possible her kids read it and got influenced by her dying thoughts.

But there can only be one, and the truth always comes out. I liked how Will asks us 3 questions to ascertain whether we truly solved it. It’s easy enough to fuck around and guess if it’s just “who did it”, but Will asks us the identity of the murderer, the evidence that ties them to the crime, and their motive. This was the most complete way to test the reader, and I was so proud of myself when I got it.

Solution:

Murderer: Constance Graves

Evidence: Notebook in the Spare Room

Motive: To Get Revenge On The Parents

Sadly, the prosecutor fucks up the case and the murderer gets away scot free. Not gonna lie, I was a little bummed that Will chose to end this story in such a depressing way, but I also kind of like it. In a way, the victory feels pyrrhic, but the consequences feel real and significant, and there’s something about bittersweet and disappointing endings that just stay with you, if done right of course. This isn’t an invitation for everyone to just shoehorn in sad endings to mess with the audience, it has to feel earned. And in this case, it kind of does.

I was surprised to find that the story keeps going even after you solve the mystery, but not disappointed. I felt really bad for the detective, and that epilogue sort of adds a sense of loss and pathos to the events that happened that night. So the confession page was unexpected and interesting. I thought my interest in the story would wane following the conclusion, but to my delight, I found myself hooked as we got to see the psychopath for the first time admit what she did, how she did it, and why she did it. Sure, we already figured it out, but it feels so much better when we hear it directly from the murderer’s lips. I liked how Will wraps the story up with a retelling of the events from a different perspective. It takes a lot of skill to keep the audience’s interest once the excitement wanes down, but I think Will accomplishes it quite well.

I enjoyed the author’s note. It was cool to get a glimpse of Will’s authorial process, and I enjoyed seeing which parts were true and which were made up by Will. Will was incredibly creative to take a true-crime story that really happened, and weave in fictional elements to form this dark, complex, tapestry of crime and evil that makes full use of its interactive fiction format to beguile and puzzle the reader, as they feverishly work to solve the mystery within the time limit.

In conclusion, this was a fucking banger and if you love Hercule Poirot, Agatha Christie, and Sherlock Holmes, you better check this story out. “Sins of the Father” is a story I’d be honored to recommend to someone else, and it serves as a wonderful way to introduce people to CYS. Definitely check it out, it’s so cool! 8/8.

Starting with a disclaimer has become a characteristic of my reviews, so here we go: To the author, take everything I mention with a grain of salt; I’m no master when it comes to writing, nor am I a seasoned reviewer (yet). As for readers, I’ve removed/ censored the main spoilers but there are a few plot events alluded to here. Please do yourselves a favor and read the story first.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

This story is called ‘Sins of the Father’, so if the father isn’t the killer, that’ll be an outright lie. Jokes aside, I really like the simple yet effective description. Ten suspects, locked room mystery, hidden secrets—the perfect formula for an engaging mystery.

The introduction sets the tone by explaining the details of the death through dialogue. It’s technically an infodump, but I don’t mind, as it gets straight to the point and there’s never too much background information when it comes to a mystery. The gruesome nature of the child’s death also foreshadows the world we’re about to enter, with its shady and secretive cast of characters.

Slight nitpick: for multi-paragraph dialogue, place an opening quotation mark at the start of every paragraph. Also, at risk of sounding like a line editor, there should have been a comma before ‘Jack’ in the second paragraph; it’s probably an oversight as this gets corrected later on.

Lots of information is given on the first page. It’s almost overwhelming, if I’m being honest—I’m tempted to take a piece of paper and write notes. In fact, that’s what I did. However, the detailed exposition is testament to a well-planned and elaborately crafted mystery; it is delivered with rather simplistic language, establishing the plot as the centerpiece of this story.

I like the option to select a difficulty. Although I selected the easiest option as a fallback (it would be devastating to underestimate the game and have to restart), my challenge would be using as little time as possible on the counter. Let’s see how this goes.

WORLDBUILDING

Hanging Hill House is painted as a ghastly and creepy place. From the noose on an oak tree to the spiked metal gate, it is the perfect scene for a gothic murder mystery. Everything matches this atmosphere—there’s a stereotypical scary guard dog, a scythe, and a nearby place called the Hanging Arms. Everything’s described as ‘ugly’, ‘empty’ and ‘lifeless’ (empty’s even used twice in the same sentence).

The murder follows this dark and dismal feel, too. A cut “so deep through the neck it looked like a second open mouth” — this phrase gave me the chills. Lots of the word choice is to be praised: adjectives are used to set the mood very effectively, and the sudden shifts from subtle spooky scenes to the more gory details of the death is done well.

NARRATIVE STYLE & CHARACTERS

Usually with a few mysteries I’ve read, the protagonist comes off as bland compared to the colorful cast of suspects. This is not the case for Sins of the Father. From the second page onwards, the protagonist’s narrative voice shines through the prose, from off-hand warnings about theorizing without evidence (there goes my accusations against the father due to the story’s title!) and a well-written description about a nightmare which may or may not be foreshadowing/ a parallel to the victim.

I enjoy the way new characters are described—it’s succinct, without leaving out important foreshadowing details or being overly descriptive. Most side characters or suspects also have character traits that stand out, like a certain character who is unable to speak freely in the presence of someone else, and the characteristic nervousness of another.

The doctor has to be one of my favorite characters. He has some super cool lines, such as: “To find the source of a crime you must become historians and scientists as well as detectives”. Not only this, but he’s one of the most helpful. Oh, and the title of this story is referenced here. Nice!

I found it kind of confusing to have two Elizabeths. At the point of writing this, I’m not sure if this becomes a major plot point later—if not, I suggest eliminating the confusion entirely. Later on, there’s even a lady named Eliza, and… well, you get where I’m going. It took me a moment to realize there were 3 people with very similar names running about the house.

Most of the characters, especially the suspects, are written with strong motives that explain their actions, whether this means hiding information from fear of being incriminated to harboring hatred against other characters. There was a lot of attention to realism too: from the coordinated answers between the main couple to the synchronization of conversational styles of siblings, there were many small moments crafted with intention which showcased the author’s attention to detail. One of my favorite parts was the [redacted] and the simple, sad words beneath them all. This made the world feel more lived in.

PLOT

This section was originally a combination of my notes while reading and my favorite clues, but I removed the spoilers given the author’s request. Some of it may still be hinted at. For those reading this before the story (why would you do such a thing?) read at your own risk.

At first, I was confused by how we interviewed non-suspect characters. Still, having as much information as possible is helpful when it comes to a mystery. It was a nice touch that not all ‘searching’ choices led to clues, given that the previous detectives had already combed through the place.

I found this line kind of funny: “Fighting the urge to give the dog a rude, but unprofessional, hand gesture you turn away.”

Random but I really love this line; it’s so poetic: “He gently replaces the hand inside the blanket and tucks it tightly around Saville, as though he were only sleeping, as though he were still alive and as though none of this was real but just a dream of a story that was not true.”

Tiny nitpick: The missing comma in this sentence confused me for a moment as I thought there was another character involved — “This gentlemen, I tell you in the full confidence that it will not be repeated.”

I interviewed the baby. That scene was cute and funny, but entirely useless in my investigation.

The rooms being described as northeast, southeast, and so on felt a bit dull and devoid of personality, though I suppose the detective being unfamiliar with the house makes it understandable.

The more I read, the darker the secrets became. Some encounters were for the readers to get their bearings of the central events in the plot, with quite a bit of repetition, but in others, everything became much clearer. The fun of solving mysteries lies in collecting clues so you can fit together as many pieces of the puzzle as possible.

CONCLUSION

When I wrote the first sentence of this review, I didn’t realize the time option was how many links I’ll have to click before getting to solve the mystery. That’s an oversight on my part. Anyhow, I selected the longest time since I wanted to write a proper review, so towards the end I clicked through choices I’ve missed then spammed a few final links.

And we’re here at the grand reveal. I enjoyed reading the other detective’s smart but most likely incorrect suspicion. I smiled at how the page was titled ‘Choose Your Suspect’, an acronym for CYS. I raised my eyebrows at how there are 700 possible combinations the reader has to click if they’re blindly searching for the correct one.

The satisfaction of getting the answer correct was initially dimmed by the events which occurred after. If it wasn’t for the page titled ‘right’, I would have thought I made a mistake unknowingly and therefore clicked through the other 699 combinations (so thank you for that title). But then the real ending came and was better than I expected. Not only does it confirm my interpretation of the clues, but it fits so well thematically in terms of the turmoil and morality-hinged destruction the characters face.

Although a lot of details in the mystery appeared unnecessary at first, they contributed to the impossibility of the crime (like how the [redacted] were always accounted for, which makes the actual [redacted] the only possible solution). Whilst the confession didn’t explain the relevant clues, there was no need for it to—it makes sense when I apply the notes I’ve taken down on a document. Despite this, there were some other clues/ red herrings I felt ought to have been explained, as they were rather out of the ordinary yet somehow unrelated to the crime. Then again, maybe I just missed an important detail somewhere.

Nevertheless, the ending was well-written. I never thought a mystery-focused story could have such a strong and compelling theme. The last paragraph is extremely meaningful: it signals the breaking of generational curses and choosing to be better than your past. I loved it.

This was a brilliant storygame. The mystery of the Hanging Hill House was a cleverly crafted one, with well-written prose and a worthwhile payoff. I strongly recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good mystery.

Great to see another big mystery map game. I thought the mystery was easier to solve than the previous game you had of this format. There are great clues and hints scattered through the story. My favorites are probably the ones located on the main floor of the house.

I like that the amount of knowledge that each character has of the family dynamics differs quite from each other. Staff is for example hesitant to call out names (makes sense due to their fear of getting fired or differences in social status) while family members are more likely to point fingers.

I like that the setting is a house. Just like an island it keeps the number of locations manageable while adding a a brand-new atmosphere to it.
The detective does have a little less personality than the one from the oil story, but I don't mind it that much due to the very engaging puzzle elements.

Will, it's an awesome game. I like it!

Whodunits are one of my favorite literary genres, and this is the best of Will's whodunit stories, and my favorite of all of Will's stories that I have read so far.

This story has no major flaws. It is an upgraded version of Will's other whodunits, keeping their best qualities but with fewer errors- the dialogue is markedly better (particularly flowing more naturally), better characterization and word choice, and more thorough and substantial details in each scene. I also enjoyed the open-world investigation structure and classic mystery mood. There is a good sprinkling of necessary red herrings throughout the story. There's even a bit of replay value to see all of the room descriptions and dialogue trees after you've beaten the game.

Minor errors that come to mind were Holcombe's name being misspelled as John and Holborne on separate occasions, the victim being named Saville Kent on one page, and the drawing room link being named "dining room" on the main hall page.

One suggestion that I have to improve future whodunits would be to give readers the option to make the final case-solving guess at any time (instead of having to click the Time all the way down to zero if you figure it out before Time runs out like now), maybe something along the lines of a link on every page that takes us to the guessing page, and, if we guess incorrectly, then there's an additional link on the "Wrong guess" page that take us back to the page that we were on previously before attempting the guess besides the links that are currently there.

Another very good game from this author! I recently played Detective 1: Blacksea Island from Will and I enjoyed having again the mechanic of a "time countdown" (I played the normal difficulty). It gives some pressure in what actions to take next, while allowing an almost total freedom in exploring the place and looking for clues. I felt that the story-telling and narrative in this game was even more advanced though (great dialogues, interesting characters with personality/backstory etc.), which was really appreciated.

In the end, I had the right culprit and motive but I guess I got confused with what was THE incriminating piece of evidence (I tried a couple before looking for the solution). I felt this part could have been made clearer, but that's certainly on me and it takes nothing away from the fun I had with this whodunit game ! :)

It's another classic kind of game from Will. Who is prolific enough to just rest on his laurels if he wanted as one of the best authors on this site. But, of course he'd rather not do that. I'll have to read through this again, as I don't really have the time I used to comb through every ending to get every score.

However, this is a game that is worthy of a read through for all decide to browse this site.

Another well-researched and well written historical murdery mystery written by Will11! It is always a joy to read your stories. It is difficult enough that you may know all clues pointing to top suspects however the motive can at times be hard to pinpoint. I am looking forward to your next CYOA, preferrably...Magellan 5!! :)

Great Job, Will! You wrote yet again another intriguing and fun storygame.