Player Comments on When The Music's Over

Well...this was actually a lot better than I was expecting. The blurb was immediately intriguing. There are a lot of young, idealistic heroes in fantasy fiction, and having an older hero, who was jaded and broken from his past experiences, was a different idea.

I liked Kit as a character, despite the fact he was basically a functioning alcoholic...or perhaps not that functioning, given that he didn't seem to drink nearly as much when he was actually on mission.

Considering the author's note at the beginning of this storygame, I was a bit surprised at just how many different brances there were here. There was actually quite a lot of the world to explore through taking different paths and making different choices, which was good, because it actually felt like those choices had an impact.

What I would have liked to see a bit more of was people who knew his reputation meeting Kit and having to reconcile the man with the myth. There was a little bit of that with Iris in the path where Kit goes to the King, but Iris felt weirdly hostile towards Kit for no real reason that I could see. Plus, her comment about what Grace said to her was weird - it sounded like she was telling the seven-year-old Iris with the thought that she might meet Kit and fall for him as an adult. As I explored other paths, though, I realised that Grace and Kit had been in a relationship prior to what had happened.

I liked the snippets of information about Kit's friends, and I also really liked being able to get a glimpse of Lilith, since her spirit appears to Kit if he refuses to answer the King's letter...and if he refuses to go with the knights sent to retrieve him. It was also interesting to get a glimpse into how the others of his group would have reacted if they'd been the lone survivor of the original mission.

There was definitely a strong feeling of DnD to this storygame, with the classes of the characters and the different quests Kit could go on. I also really liked the fact that there were choices where Kit could be a hero...and choices where he could do nothing. There weren't many 'happy' endings, but there were a few where Kit had a sense of peace, which was probably all he could really hope for. I have to admit, my favourite ending was when Kit was able to tame the dragon. I did try the other paths, though I did feel a bit mean for attacking the dragon after following the path to tame it.

Anyway, I did very much enjoy this storygame. There was a lot to explore and a lot of different paths I could go down. I would definitely recommend giving this storygame a try if you enjoy fantasy in the style of DnD!

When the Music's Over is one of the best fantasy stories on the site, and is a must read for any fantasy lovers who are also fans of DnD and redemption stories.

Like Peter Jackson, a former horror-filmmaker known for his bold and somewhat unconventional horror films who rose to the challenge of crafting the most epic fantasy film trilogy known to mankind, Chris makes a wonderful pivot from his grounded and deft action pieces to craft a really cool epic fantasy story. What is really cool about this story is that in his previous stories, Chris excels in the here-and-now, crafting really fast-paced, clipped, and wonderfully designed action set pieces that do a great job of flooding readers with adrenaline on a really concentrated level. He knows how to set mood, slow down the moment for maximum impact, and when you combine that with the grand epic scale and large breadth of When the Music's Over, you get Chris's masterpiece and one of the best pieces on the site. It has been quite a few years since When the Music's production, and the story still remains a gem of the fantasy section. Plus, Chris is also working on a redux of the story, a new and improved version that I'm quite excited for, especially since the old version is already so good that I'm sure the new one can only be even more remarkable. I feel like my only gripe with the story is that because of the Cave of time style, Chris sometimes ends some of the mini stories at a point where you’re just starting to get into it. Like I would want to see more beyond the “setting fire to the warehouse” scene, or at least a more epic epilogue, but one could argue that the short endings do fit the cynical tone of the story somewhat.

The intro to this story is really well done! Chris manages to set a really tragic and melancholic mood right from the get-go, eschewing the typical intro for a more somber and grounded take. Typically, the hero's adventure is treated in a really grand manner, most stories start from the call to adventure then the inciting incident to then crossing the threshold, learning new skills and having some initial wins, experiencing setbacks and failure, reaching that dark moment of the soul, then experiencing a figurative(but in some cases literal death) death of the soul, and finally rebirth, conquering the big bad and returning home a changed man, or going on to new or better things. But in this story, he's already been there and done all that, and in a manner that really suits the character's cynical outlook on life, Chris hastily recaps these adventures with an indifference that I thought was really well done, because it really sets the tone going forward. I love the way he uses this really passive voice to sort of just get the recap over with, 1. because most of us are probably already familiar with this type of story and it's clear Chris is trying to do something different, a new spin on a familiar story, and 2. Kit also doesn't really care, he doesn't see himself as a hero, he's just depressed from the pain of losing all of his friends and disillusioned from all of the hero worship he's experiencing. All of the praise, adulation, doesn't really do much for his soul, and without a new adventure to go on, he sort of collapses in on himself, like a dying star. Chris's use of generic fantasy roles to describe each of Kit's teammates was also a good choice narratively speaking since it helps with the indifferent and dismissive tone that's used in the exposition, and it has the added effect of showing Kit's reluctance to think too much about the past, because he doesn't want to go through the pain of losing his friends again nor the ennui of what happened afterward.

Chris does some really cool things with characterization. I like how he doesn't need to rely on any overt, dramatic statements of characterization but instead, we're able to tell what kind of man Kit is simply from his actions. We see a drunken aged and cynical hero who's still somewhat got it. I feel like when he rises to heroism and dies in an incredibly cool and badass way, it hits harder because of how close he was to giving up in the beginning. There's a sense of struggle throughout the narrative, and I like how he's not the same young hero he was 20 years ago, but rather someone who's weighed down by experience and loss.

In the path where you choose to assist the King and avoid helping the woman with the bandits, you reach the Castle and are given a mission to take down the supply cache of the Kishak(I think I'm spelling it right?) complete with a new band of heroes. I like the contrast between Miller and Iris’s characters, and the 2 endings were both really cool! I feel like throughout the story, Chris slowly builds the tension throughout the long journey scenes punctuated by minor-league fights(with the archer for example) that do a good job of temporarily quenching the readers’ thirst for some danger and excitement, only to end with a dramatic flourish, a last stand type scene where Miller, Iris, and Kit successfully complete their mission only to be trapped behind enemy lines. There’s a sense of despair palpably hanging in the air, because they all know they’re going to die. But in this instance, your choices define who you are, and I love how all the characterization that Chris has meticulously crafted throughout the story leads up to this final defining moment. Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter that Kit gave up for almost 20 years, his choice in the here and now will define his legacy. So I liked both of the endings, but I do wish The Last Stand was a bit more dramatic. But at the same time, I can understand the protracted, almost abrupt endings somewhat since it kind of works for the story. But I do think an epilogue ending, maybe looking at how Kit’s actions defined his legacy for years to come or changed the outcome of the war somewhat would be nice. But I don’t know, that’s just my 2 cents. Still, I really enjoyed the endings in this branch, and the Last Stand in particular was really badass. The Butch and Sundance ending, taken if you choose to follow Miller’s path, then run for the woods, was also really cool! I love the way Kit chooses to die on his feet, as a warrior, despite his whole team dying for the second, it proves he hasn’t succumbed to despair like he does in the “All the time in the world” ending. That was a pretty sad ending, and works well with the cynical tone offered. It’s a great “Lose” ending, and it makes one want to reroute to find a better and more satisfying end.

I think the mission path is a good path overall, and as the first path I went on, does invariably set my tone for expectations on what the rest of the story would be like. Still, I would have liked to see more, and given the complex politics and the war between the 2 kingdoms, I wish Kit would have survived past the successful mission. But one could argue that this story is sort of like Kit’s swan song, his last ballad as he manages to regain the glory of his early days and die, sword in hand with a certain kind of majesty that most souls could only hope to attain on their dying days. So it’s a short, but glorious ride that ends quite well, and there could be more for sure.

The next path I did was the bandit path. I got to admit, I enjoyed the poetic justice of the bandit scene almost as much as I revelled in the fight scenes. I love how polished and practiced he seems. Admittedly, it’s a bit unrealistic for a guy who spent 20 years eating 3 loaves of bread and drinking 10 wine bottles(not gonna lie, the diet cracked me up. It was one of the more funny aspects of the sad intro. Especially since if the dude actually stuck to that diet, he probably would have died of malnutrition or alcohol poisoning, not to mention he may not have the actual strength to even do all the cool shit he does later on, since he’s not getting any PROTEIN, but still it’s hilarious to think about. ), but it’s fucking awesome! I love the way Chris writes, the way he describes the bandits’ eyes holding a mixture of primal rage and fear, how one of them snarls at Kit, baring his yellow teeth like a dog. The sword fight was slick and stylish, and written in a really cool way. I love Chris’s versatility, he can write gun fights in the cold rain just as well as epic fantasy sword fights, and Kit’s strength is showcased really well here. The details of the blood droplets landing on the bad guys’ faces, and the way he just sends them running were so cool!

In the “chasing the bandits and saving Caroline” path, the camaraderie between you and Bertrand was quite fun. I was almost tempted to draw parallels to Alfred and Batman, as Bertrand has got the loyalty + the mysterious military/fighting skills that allow him to fight alongside someone like Kit. I also liked the bridge scene, because like the scene in the other path where you’re trapped, you’re offered a set of choices that will basically shape what kind of person you are. Once again, the action was quite fun, but despite Kit’s skill, he’s overwhelmed by sheer numbers, which forces him to decide: should he save himself or fight as long as it takes to save his comrades. The coward’s path gives you 2 additional endings, but I found the hero’s path to be more interesting. I love how after dropping off Lady Catherine in the Elkstern Keep, there’s an ending where Kit decides to return to Heroism. To me, that felt far more impactful than fighting a war for a king you had no inherent love nor loyalty to. This last line does an excellent job of symbolizing the unlimited future Kit has before him, and is overall a great way to end the path: “The sun is high in the sky. It's a new beginning.” It’s short and sweet, and best of all, to the point, with lots of potential for a sequel.

This marks the end of all the paths that you take after you initially choose to set out and obey the King’s command. So I was curious to see what happens when you decide to strike out on your own from the beginning.

This led to some pretty dark paths. The darkness that has been laying dormant in Kit’s soul for 20 years, fuelled by alcohol, sleepless nights, isolation, loneliness and depression takes full force. I liked the more evil paths where you choose to fight the knights who try to apprehend you, that brought an interesting contrast to the heroism in the first section I read through. From there, you can voluntarily choose to pay the price for your crimes, be assassinated in your sleep, or even start a rebellion, taking advantage of the deep rooted anger the people had for years because of the hardships they had to endure during the war against the Kingdom of Kishak.

This also leads to some really emotional and cathartic paths. I think the path where you talk to Lillith really stands out in this regard. It’s a great exploration of grief and guilt, and I liked the page where Chris retells the same story from the beginning, but this time from Grace’s POV, if she had survived. I was confused at first, because I was like, wait didn’t she die? But then I got the message. It was like what if she had been the lone survivor, how would the trajectory of the rest of her life go? It was especially poignant since in the other paths, I think there was a hint that there might have been something between Kit and Grace that never had the chance to be fully explored, so there’s a sense of bittersweetness and a lost future that almost pervades Kit’s entire being. But he never really dealt with those feelings, instead choosing to bury them and escape through drink. It was a really good lesson on the dangers of wallowing in your grief, and that no matter how hard it may seem, life always moves on and you have to as well, or you get left behind. That whole sequence really touched me, and was definitely the emotional core of the work. The acceptance ending was genuinely beautiful, and I almost cheered when Kit stopped with the bread and wine, and decided to move on. The counterpart ending, the ignored epiphany, was also quite well written but really fucking depressing.

I read through about 12 or so endings, and I feel like the expansive nature of the work is a huge blessing. There’s a large variety of adventures offered to the reader, and you don’t really see some of the endings coming. At any moment, unexpected things could happen, and I really enjoyed this story. The pain that Kit brings with him, and his redemption arc(or descent into madness) is a joy to read through. I feel like you gain a super clear picture of his life once you read through multiple paths, and the Cave-of-time style makes replayability quite easy and accessible, since each path is short, and leaves you wanting more, which Chris happily supplies. The world truly feels expansive, and the possibilities are limitless. I also loved the great characterization and somewhat dark story. This isn’t an easy story to read, and I liked how Chris was able to balance the more lighthearted elements of adventure, exploration, and sword fighting with some dark and poignant themes of loss and grief. This story feels really special, both on an emotional level and on a fun, dnd type level where you get to play this awesome hero and battle bad guys with super strength and a giant ass sword.

Great story Chris, and I can’t wait for the redux. I’m excited to see an even more polished and clean cut version of this interactive fiction gem!

This story is rather masterfully crafted. I certainly enjoy how it feels as if you aren't truly shackled to one or two paths. It truly feels like an adventure, in the sense that you're given many choices to make that changes the story drastically, and not arbitrarily by any means.

What that leaves, in my opinion, is a story-game that should be experienced multiple times to really enjoy it. However, with how immersive the writing was in pulling me into the hero's footsteps, I would say all of the extra times I've played were just out of personal enjoyment. I couldn’t help but see what I could do, outside of wallowing in my castle, or taking on a band of marauders, or even a dragon.

Honestly, this is just a great story, Chris.

Bravo. :)

This is a good story. Full stop. It follows Kit, a washed up swordsman who’s sick of life and sick of people fawning over him. In and of itself, this isn’t a super original idea for a main character, but it works regardless. You can feel Kit’s apathy oozing from the story, and this makes him really compelling. Too often I’ve read stories-hell I’ve written them even-where the character is just a ball of sunshine and no one can put them down. Not here. Kit’s just tired, washed up, and sick of everything. Sort of like me sometimes, if I’m honest.

This works wonders for the story, which while still good, would fall flat on many fronts without Kit as he is. That being said, the story is very mediocre in general. It had interesting ideas and I felt it resolved well in most of the endings, but still left me wanting more. Some more flesh on the bone in the route where you accept the call would’ve helped with this, as I felt it was the weakest of the paths.

This brings to my next point: That every other character besides Kit was sort of just…there? They don’t see enough action in my eyes and aren’t fleshed out enough to really make me invested in them as characters. However, this is really only a minor complaint, as I enjoyed what I saw of the other characters regardless.

The writing was, in general, good, if maybe a little unpolished. A bit more flourish would’ve really sealed this for me, as it could sometimes feel a little robotic in its tone. But that’s just me, who prefers a little more spice in my writing. It’s clean, concise, and gets the job done. There’s not really too much more I can ask for in that front.

It’s a good story y’all, one that I thoroughly enjoyed from start to finish. While it has some flaws baked in, I can’t dock too much from it in that regard. I appreciate it for what it’s worth and don’t regret my time reading.

Well that was quite the ride.

I've been reading this on and off all throughout the day, and it hasn't disappointed. Written almost entirely in Cave of Time style (with the exception of one branch which I'll get to) choices lead you on to story after story with very little retreading.

I'm ashamed to admit I've never listened the theme song in its entirety before. But it fits REALLY well with the tone established in the beginning, I can totally picture the bitter man slowly losing his mind and devolving to a drunk throwing bottles at the wall. Although many of the paths happily go on to prove that he can still be more than that or even find peace and contentment.

Kit just WORKS as a protagonist. As I said in the thread, Disillusioned Old Sword Guy Who Only Wants to Be Left Alone is such an archetypal character type and I believe that's a factor in making him so easy to relate to. The key to many of the paths fit this, so many of them come down simply to what level of apathy he'll be operating at.

There are several paths I wish were longer, but I know that's a trade off with the Cave of Time style, and of course it's better to leave the reader wanting more than wanting to know when it will end. Only one or two out of the MANY endings were abrupt enough they didn't feel like real endings, anyhow, and what we did get fueled the imagination and left me thinking about what happened next. I'm happy you went ahead and made the prompt thread...I do so hope Gower started a trend with that idea, because this story in particular is really suited to it.

The only path that felt weak was the one where you accept the mission and go to the castle. On its own I suppose it's not bad, but when compared to the others it just felt lacking. That's extra unfortunate since 1) I believe a lot of new readers will pick it first while assuming it's the 'canon' path, and 2) it's the only path that has multiple choices looping into it, so it will be encountered more often than the others.

For one thing, it's hard to play a washed up and bitter old hero getting a special summons from the king to go on a quest without feeling like you're about to embark on something epic....and in this case that turned out to essentially be just sneaking through a sewer and burning a warehouse down. I wasn't shown any convincing reason why another knight from Miller's order or even just some normal soldier wouldn't do. In fact, Iris did most of the heavy lifting there on her own.

From following the developments on this in the Discord I was already aware that this was the last section Chris wrote, and he's heading off to Job Corps tomorrow so he had a hard time limit there, so it's pretty clear all of that was a factor. Maybe this path can be revisited and expanded some day.

Even though the mission for the king was a bit of a disappointment plot-wise, the writing itself still held up as well as anywhere else in the story. The proofreading was very thoroughly done for a story this size, I only spotted a handful of typos throughout the whole thing. And the entire style and mood here is such a departure from Chris' usual style, it feels much more mature and contemplative in tone, even a little sad. The first page really captured that sense, and even though there are many satisfying and even happy or uplifting endings you can find, the tone is consistent. Along with that are the touches of realism mixed with the fantastic, and just the right level of detail to make the setting feel lived in by real people; it's all written so smoothly you can't help but slip right into the scenes.

'When you reach the gates, you see two guards ahead; one is watching a firefly intently as it floats around his face, while the other has fallen asleep while standing up.' - Just a random sentence I pulled to demonstrate how a couple of small details to set a scene can make the whole thing grounded so believably and easy to imagine. (It also made me feel like a dick when I killed them a moment later...)

The characters were also standout and worth a moment of appreciation here.

Even in the relatively weak mission for the king path, Iris was great. She had an attitude and was so not impressed with this washed up old drunk and not shy about saying so, and yet she was the only one who had her facts straight about what happened in the past and fondly remembered Grace.

As I've said, many of the paths can be short, and each is practically a standalone story. Yet these characters who only get a few pages apiece are each so memorable. A couple of vivid visual details about them combined with a speaking style that's recognizable for each (without ever going overboard on accents or anything annoying like that) just piles on the personality. I don't believe I ever realized before this how natural Chris' handling of dialogue was.

Wrapping this up, I just want to say that I think out of all the paths, nearly all of which I enjoyed quite a lot, the stand out ending for me was actually the first one I got--the one where Lilith showed up. In fact when I get around to doing the writing prompt to continue an ending, it will certainly be this one, because I badly, *badly* wanted that adventure to continue, and even moreso now after reading the rest of the story for perspective. The shift in Kit's whole worldview after the knowledge she gives would make the entire mission read differently, from a suddenly more hopeful perspective. If this were a novel, that scene would almost have to be canon to give the hero that push they needed to go out and face their demons. (Occasionally literal ones...) I couldn't help but feel afterwards that Kit just leaving on his own felt like he had juuust missed getting to experience something life changingly important.

Anyhow, Chris has really proved that sometimes suffering the continued existence of the edgy racist eleven year olds among us can pay off in spades down the road. And the featuring was well deserved. I'm really pleased he was suddenly so divinely inspired to write this one and was able to gift it to the site right before he left for a bit to get all grown up. This should be inspirational to us all.

cool.

Plenty of endings here. Lots of choices to do the right thing or not. Some character development even. I think the main branches were well thought out and descriptively filled out.

Pretty good.

Feels a bit like it was set in the DND universe or something similar to that. I feel that it might have been a bit lacking in explanations, but I might have just missed that bit. It's interesting, but I feel like it ended very abruptly. Not the best, not the worst.

Excellent story. I enjoyed traversing the various paths and finding out his different fates. The writing is very good, descriptive, and flows smoothly. The dialogue is good. I can see why this was featured.

It’s a good story and all but what’s the point?
All the “paths” are INCREDIBLY short and can easily be done in 10 minutes each, as soon as they start to get really interesting - THE END.
It’s well written but this story in my mind is unfinished and lacks meat so a generous 5/8 from me.

WHEN THE MUSIC’S OVER: 94%

SHOULD I READ THIS?
Yes, it’s an excellent story game.
Preview: You play Kit, a disillusioned ex-hero who once saved the world but lost his friends, and is now struggling to find whether or not his life has any meaning while going on a series of different adventures.

=SPOILERS BELOW=

RATINGS:

Basic Plot & Coherence: 5/5
Because the story can go in so many different directions, it’s impressive that all of them are as tight and enjoyable as they are. While there are some paths that are fleshed out more than others (I believe the demon-controlled city is the most detailed), each of them contributes its own individual path to the overall narrative. I tend to like story games where each of the seperate branches adds new layers onto the character and the world, and this is a perfect example of one such game. Each of the pathes shows a different possibility. Obeying the king’s order leads ultimately to a suicide mission, and it’s up to the player to decide if Kit’s death has any meaning. Disregarding the king and leaving the area leads to a series of different possible adventures and conflicts, such as protecting from bandits, or liberating a city controlled by a demon. Or, if you choose to hide away in your castle, eventually the ghosts of your past pay you a visit. All of these plots, however, share one common theme: You have to decide if you still care enough to bother to fight all the injustice in the world, if you’re still a hero. I’m going to hazard a guess that’s what the title means (never mind, I just found out it’s a song, but my point still applies). When the music’s over, when all the stories about your legendary deeds have been sung, are you still the hero in the song? Do you still believe in what you set out to do?
Beyond all this thematic stuff, this game is just fun to play. Each path leads to new and interesting adventures, believeable failures and victories, and a full expansive picture of a fantasy world and the people in it. I really enjoyed exploring down all the paths and going through every adventure I could find.

Characters & Development: 4/5
Kit is, of course, the main character in the story. His development is excellent. From the very first page, we get a sense of who he is. All of the choices Kit has the opportunity to make seem in character. Whether he rallies himself up to do something, or just decides it doesn’t concern him, it’s believeable that these are decisions he would make. I also liked Lilith, the ghost, I thought she was written well. That said, this really is Kit’s story, and most of the other characters aren’t as fleshed out as he is.

Grammar: 5/5
No mistakes here.
Mastery of Language: 3/3
The language is excellently used, and really contributes to the overall tone of the story. Enough to get a 3 in this category, which I don’t usually do.

Mechanics & Coding: 0/0 (Usually /5)
This isn’t really a coding-based game, so this is unweighted.

Branching: 2.5/3
The branching here is excellent. There’s a vast amount of stories and paths you’re able to explore, and each of them are fully fleshed out. This gets a 2.5 because the choices and paths are not balanced evenly amongst the choices you make, and some of the paths were not as well-developed as the others.

Player Options/fair choice: 3/3
The player has good options to choose from, and there are no vindictive “gotcha” moments.

Comments/Nitpicks: The fourth wall break was done well. Fourth wall breaks are really, really, easy to do horribly, but this was pulled of well.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: I got the “warrior’s heart” ending on my first playthough, where you accept the king’s summons, but then ignore them to go help the traveler. Playing through a second time, I nearly completely missed the branch with most of the pathes (fleeing the king’s summons), but was pleasantly surprised once I did find it. This game had me reading through every page until I ran out of them.

CONCLUSION: 22.5/24 = 93.75%

I LOve this!!!

Good story but very short.

good, but too short.

good

Very good "secret ending"

This was an awesome adventure, that i really enjoyed not only because of its characters and story but also because it is a story that let me do what i wanted instead of constantly killing me. Thank you.

i really love the story. it feels like that you are going into a new world

Very nice! 10/10

eh it was fun, I couldn't figure out what the correct one was. Oh well I wasted five minutes.

It's a bit too short, and kinda cliched. Definitely doesn't have Endmaster levels of world building. Still pretty fun for a half an hours distraction or so.

A little. bit edgy but overall worth the read due to competent writing.
6/8, well done Chris.

Good

Should give you an insight into the author's creative writing abilities - provides short-burst shots of quick, ecstatic entertainment.

When The Music’s Over feels like the free demo of a good game. It’s obvious that the endings could still branch off more, or at least be fleshed out with more detail, but throughout all of the endings I’ve found that there are certain aspects in which this story is lacking. It’s by no means a bad game, there’s just a lot of things that I’d like to see in your story that’s not there.

First of all, it’s my understanding that this isn’t supposed to be a typical ‘save the world from evil’ type story that’s described in the prologue ending. I find the idea of a tired old man regaining his former passion for good intriguing, and you definitely did a good job writing the character to be gruff, and angry at everything. I also liked how doing the morally ‘wrong’ thing didn’t immediately end the story.

I know that ultimately it’s the authors choice how the story unfolds, but I was kind of sad that he never got the girl. There are a couple of opportunities for him to potentially hook up with one of the characters, and I’d really like to see it. I know one of the major aspects of the plot is his history, and it seemed like from the brief memories that there was something going on with him and Grace (I think that’s her name, been a couple of days). If you’re really adamant about him not engaging in any love interests, I’d think it would be nice if you briefly mention something about how he’s still in love with her, as a kind of explanation.

The whole ghost thing seems like it could be cool, but those paths are the most ‘unfinished’ in my opinion. The other paths felt somewhat finished, but the ghost ones didn’t really give anything other than a ‘you have been affected by this. You will be better person now. The end.’ I’d really like to see more here. I enjoyed the 4th wall break a lot. It was executed well, and it made me laugh. Somehow my favorite paths are the ones that end in death, which is probably because there’s a certain finality there that makes it hard for readers to want the story to continue.

The whole thing was good but it could definitely be better. Unlike a lot of stories, there isn’t really any undesirable endings. I’d recommend reading all of them, especially because the best ones aren’t the ones obtained on the first few go throughs. The story is just so compelling it leaves people wanting more.

This was an excellently written piece. Honestly, I know how long it takes to polish a written work of over 40,000 words -- but the author's managed to do it here. I didn't spot any typos or grammatical errors, and the prose itself sounded very good.

I think I read through all the pathways. My favourite ones were (SPOILERS): the ones that focus on the meta-narrative behind the whole story. I think I got two of these endings on my first and second run through the game, correspondingly. Which may have been because I found it intriguing that the protagonist could just ignore the traditional 'adventure' expected in these types of stories and just do things on his own terms. That sounded a lot more interesting, and it was.

I explored virtually every route that involved ignoring King Oren's call, before eventually going. I was pleasantly surprised to note some other very interesting paths which I enjoyed just as much as the first ones, such as (SPOILERS): the ending where we save the town from a demon, or the one where we help the old man in the cabin.

King Oren's route was a bit interesting, too. I like how (SPOILERS): there was no happy ending on this route. We were told at the beginning that it would be a suicide mission, and it was. Clearly the game wanted us to explore alternative pathways in the story. It also emphasized how awful war and such war missions are.

In general, this piece focuses on the heartbreak the protagonist has felt after losing his four friends on the previous noble quest which had made him a 'hero'. He usually hates it when people dub him as a 'hero' for this reason. It's really well-done. You can feel the protagonist's regret and feelings for his friends. So many of the endings discuss different aspects of his relationships with them. Reading through just one of them, you may only catch a little glimpse. Once you've read through most of the endings, you've started to care for them, too. And you start to partake in the protagonist's sense of hopelessness, there.

The game also offers a wide diversity of moral choices. I really liked this. There is a feasible explanation given for why he might choose either option, as well: the moral options show that he still cares, and the immoral options indicate that he's given up -- for what does he have left left, now that all has been taken from him? This keeps the characterization of the protagonist consistent. That being said, the narration of the game strongly encourages the player to choose the more moral options, which I like, but there is something to be gained from reading through all the pathways.

Perhaps most importantly, I loved who the protagonist *was* in this game. I got a real sense for his backstory, and for how he feels about the world. This story does a very good job of exploring the themes of regret, love, and mourning. It resonated with me.

One small recommendation for improvement (and I know this has been mentioned in some of the other reviews): I did feel like one or two pathways were cut off a bit short. I understand that because this game offered such a wide diversity of branching, it wasn't supposed to take long to read through any of the individual paths. But there were some scenes for which I think maybe even just one additional page would've been warranted. For example (SPOILERS): the ending where we succeed on King Oren's mission and are waiting for death from the soldiers. This sounds like such a climactic scene, but it's not described. The result is that the reader feels like they were left hanging.

Overall, When The Music's Over is an adventure-not-adventure story that gives the reader an impressive degree of options to choose from and functions as an overall commentary on the nature of 'adventure', 'heroism', loss, and death. 7/8.

An enjoyable read overall. Though each individual path is rather short, and leaves you wanting more. Many of the endings feel like the story has only just begun. I also noticed that the most interesting endings were all found when you ignore the "call to arms." I'd have liked to see that side, working with the kingdom, fleshed out a bit more since the letter itself is what initiates everything in the first place.

Nice take on the aftermath of a stereotypical teen fantasy gone wrong.

Yeah bill is a bitchy boomer. But tbh it was a pretty bitchy thing of you to do to publicly show everyone that rated your story so you could try to shame everyone into giving you a higher rating than this story would have probably gotten otherwise, lost respect for you. Now for this comment to get deleted lul

Oh, fun. I never had to leave my house, yet I still got to become a filthy rebel leader. I approve.

I have just noticed silly me that I gave my review when It was on sneak peek lol. So didn't register. The game still as fun and that Lone wolf and old classic choice your own adventure vibe, you have that to the point writing for that. Myself and it is totally personal find the protagonist less defined and emotional portrayed compared with the old companions, that probably is intentional to show the emotional wreckage of the main hero psyche.

This run I had an ending I didn't expect enjoy but I did. The uprising ending that implies that Hero can overthrow the king. A great ending, maybe too short. This ending with one or two scenes more than shown briefly the war and a choice character become mad of power or not, and the consequences of that would have made a meaningful branch of its own.

A good start. I was just getting into it and raised a rebellion when the story ended abruptly. I would have liked to see that story arc developed further as I was enjoying it and didn't feel like the tale was over.

This was an absolute pleasure to read! I may be biased, as I'm a big fan of stories with grizzled/deadbeat characters that have fallen from their former glory, lol. The style of writing is simple enough to not be repetitive or "too much" at once. Rather, it remains concise and maintains its impact in describing the characters, their thoughts, emotions, and actions. You receive a vivid picture without feeling overwhelmed. It is gripping delightful to read, with very few grammatical errors that do not impact comprehension. I thoroughly enjoyed this story!

too short

Holy fuck

Going into this I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve been meaning to read it for a while now, and I was not disappointed. It was just over all a great game, I don’t know how else to put it. Overall this game is great, and I don’t even have that many complaints about it. It is just that good. If you haven’t read this game yet, please just do it. It is just amazing, and you won’t regret it.

To start off the concept is amazing. What happens to that main character after the great quest. The one who has killed hundreds, lost friends, all in the name of his quest. What happens when he finishes it? What does he have to live for then? It is just go intriguing, and the story explores it well.

Now I’m going to talk about the big problem that everyone has already addressed, even you yourself. It is the fact that the king path is so short. It felt like the mission they went on was over before it even started. It shouldn’t have been that easy. It didn’t feel deserved. I wish that it was expanded upon more, but I know it wasn’t the point of the story. This story has a few main paths all around the same length, and while the king one is a little longer, it isn’t by a ton.

Another thing I noticed was how some endings ended so quickly. Oh I’m going to go out and do something and change th… end game and leave comments. While I understand while it had to happen, it is still kind of irritating.

My favorite ending/path was the one when you were talking with your dead friends. I LOVED this path. Hearing about his friends in this game in general was great. They interested me a lot, and I love how you explored the fact that it could have been any one of them, and how they would have handled it. It only proves my point more about how does anyone live after they have accomplished the thing they worked so hard for. I just loved it.

Also that one path you said no one would get first try? You’re right, I got it second try lol.

In conclusion, this game is amazing. I think it definitely deserves its spot in the fantasy feature spot, and while it may not be the best, or second best, or third…While it may not be the best one there, being there at all is a great accomplishment, especially when 4 out 7 of those stories are on a god tier almost by default because of their author. In any case, my real problem here is whether it should be a 6 or a 7, and since it managed to surprise me…

7 out of 8

“Let’s give those Kishak bastards hell.”

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

"People are going to rate me a 1 if they find this wannabe avant-garde bullshit path."
Fuck you, Chris. I do what I want.

The writing quality was very good, and there were no flaws in the grammar that were distracting or anything.
The action was well done and had me excited over how utterly BADASS the main character was. I don't always like lengthy action scenes, but in this story, they were some of my favorite parts. I really enjoyed that the main character could walk off crossbow bolts to the leg and cut four men down with a single swing of the sword. Not everyone probably appreciates that, but I do.
There were also a range of interesting characters. Although we didn't meet most of them for long.

The branching is mostly time cave style, but there are a few places where it re-branches and such, as it says in the story description. However, most choices lead to unique branches. Some seemed to be cut off a little shorter than they could have been, but there was a good variety. The endings were all interesting in their own rights too, and they range from traveling around to smite bandits to becoming a wholesome drug dealer to being the spokesman of a store to meeting the author and reader both.

Overall, this was a really good fantasy story that I would highly recommend to you faggots who are reading this review before you read the story.
My biggest complaint is as follows:
"Too short. Needs moar words."

P.S. Nice title page.

I liked the concept of this story game. Often times we observe the same old cliché fantasy plot. Hero killes evil villain, saves the day, and lives happily ever after. This story challenges the 'happily ever after' part to a great extent, giving a new realistic touch to a not so realistic fantasy trope. The character building of the protagonist was really very good. I genuinely sympathized with the guy, and the plight he was suffering through. This is a good example of taking a simple biography, and turning it into so much more complexity, by giving emotion and a overall nihilist attitude. It just felt more, believeable. The author has a really good understanding of human emotions, and is really good emulating  those characteristics to the reader; making them more engrossed.

One criticism I might have is with how vague the endings felt. I mean, I know its cave of time, so endings have to be styled like this, but maybe you could've expanded on the choices and branches a bit more? I honestly think, that between 6 short length branches and 2 long length branches, even if the 6 short ones are more in quantity, the 2 long ones are strong in quantity. The endings here start out nicely, but feel...incomplete in the end.

As for grammar and syntax, everything was proofread nicely, and I couldn't find ant errors; but maybe there could be and I missed them.

I was engrossed in this story game for quite a while, and it was entertaining to read for sure. This story game really manages to immerse the reader inside the plot

This game kicks ass, and I continue to be a big fan of Chris's writing. I love his sense of high adventure and his choice structure, with meaningful, interesting choices everywhere.

good

First of all, I want to address the title page as it sets the tone for the entire story. It’s very fitting. It could be a hero walking into the distance after performing the typical heroic actions. It also could be the hero turning his back when the people need him most. Spoiler, both options are presented to the protag in the story and the image is in-line with it. The picture adds to the story instead of taking away (or adding nothing), and I think it’s great use of visuals. Also, I notice the font changed from the blocky, meme looking text. Great decision.

The story takes classic fantasy aspects and puts its own twist on them. It’s very “Chris-y” if you’ve read his other work. There’s an interesting dynamic happening with the main character, and you get to follow his story during a strange part of his life. It’s not often the reluctant hero was a legendary warrior in the past, and the unique situation kept me engaged. There is only one minor issue I had with the MC. His fighting ability doesn’t seem affected by his situation at all. He’s spent many years doing nothing but “drinking wine and eating bread.” Now I can believe his legendary skills are enough to carry him through, but that lifestyle will add pounds fast. In fact, I imagined the MC as rather portly after reading about his life since the “good ol days” but I imagine he was not written to be on the heavier side. This is fantasy, so maybe real world health facts don’t apply. I’ll give you that.

On this play-through, I chose to answer the king’s call. The plot gives you a good enough reason to follow through with his king’s request. It’s kind of the classic “kill one, save a thousand” message. This also reveals the hero within the MC, Kit, may still be in there. Kit’s drunkenness reminds me a bit of Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai. He’s an alcoholic, but later you realize he’s affected by severe PTSD, and the sauce is the only way to manage. The conversation Kit has with himself before the mission alludes to that.

One thing I noticed by the traveling description, is that the king’s castle is very close to the border. The distance between the castle and Ornislov is about a day. The distance to the border was a few miles, and the journey through the forest to Ornislov took maybe half a day at the most. Most of the time descriptions were “a few hours”, and I didn’t remember reading a section about camping overnight. This is just an observation, although when you imagine a conflict between a nation and an empire, you think it would take place over a vast amount of land. Like I said, just an observation. I was going to point out the border was not very protected, but the END GAME link in the forest helped solve that issue.

I think I reached all the possible endings for this path. The endings I found all resulted in death. I didn’t see the generic mission successful epilogue where the MC gets the girl. I suppose the king did say it was a suicide mission. Unless I didn’t discover the right path, the ending felt very abrupt, like the story was just beginning and then it suddenly ended.

This is the second path I’ve played through, and while the story has extensive branching, the two I’ve played lack the overall feel of an epic. For example, this branch probably took less than a week’s time from beginning to end. It feels like you’re just getting to know your party and it’s over. I would like to learn more about Grace and Iris as well as more into Miller’s background. The writing quality is high, the story is engaging, and the plot is interesting. I intend to go back and read more paths, which is one of the tells behind a solid piece of interactive fiction. Well done.

Having read the entire story before release, I am writing this on the first end game link for this playthrough. Spoilers will be present.

This game was very well done. The best part about it is the unique perspective of the main character--who is a legendary hero AFTER the great evil is dead. This character has to deal with the loss of all of his friends, who died during the quest that took place before this story. This jaded ex-hero now has to decide how to cope with the fame and live the rest of his life. This perspective is continued in a branch where you can see what would have happened if the main character had died and one of his companions had lived--the author shows that any one of them would break down from the pressure.

No one branch is particularly long--but there are a ton of branches. You can do many things from resuming hero work to going mad, or even being king of the barbarians. Each branch has a great amount of character development packed into a short time. You either make a mental breakthrough and recover, continue a half-drunken stupor, or descend into chaos.

This story makes you wonder two things: what exactly happened before, and what exactly happens after. It is a great snapshot of the hero's internal struggle. I found my self caring about this hero and looking for the best branch for him to make a heroic comeback (because that is what I like).

There is even a 4th wall break that is pretty funny. I would have gone a different direction with that personally, but the author had some fun with it. He went in a ton of different directions. Again, the only "complaint" is that each branch felt short. If you wanted to just play one branch you will not see this story's potential. Playing multiple branches is when this story starts to shine.

I hope the author makes a prequel and a sequel. Perhaps this game could even be a writing prompt: pick and ending and continue it.

First I love your writing style, it reminds me of those old bards from medieval epic with a mockery undertone and a direct style.

I choose not going to the king calling. And all the Lilly presence it was great but the lack of knowledge about her that limits a little bit the dramatic weight of the scene. Maybe a previous dream about her and the dead companions while being drunken. Or crying their names in the dark could set the tone a little better but I love the game.