Player Comments on The Ocean's Daughter

The Ocean’s Daughter is not a horrible story, but it left me rather disappointed, considering it was featured. Perhaps someone who likes slice-of-life romance would have a greater appreciation for it than I.

The grammar is decent, and the story is very readable. The format is mainly a bunch of scenes with different outcomes depending on choice, and the story itself has little branching. I only found two endings, but it seems there is a third if the reader makes all the correct choices. Unfortunately, I played through many times making different choices and could not be bothered to do it again after a while because, frankly, I was really bored at that point

Now, let’s get all the things that didn’t make sense to me out of the way. How is Brandon growing all that fruit at one time. Fruit grows in different climates, soils, and seasons. You can’t just say, “Hey, this is a tropical island. I know. I’ll grow fruit!” and grow whatever you like and have whatever you want all be in season at once, yet here this dude is able to successfully grow all manner of things. There’s a reason that apples come from places such as Washington and bananas come from places like Honduras.
While we’re on diet, why would a mermaid be vegetarian? That seems like it would be quite difficult in the ocean for something close to a human. It is not as if they can grow fields of beans down there. Why would Marina be mad if Brandon caught fish anyway? At that point in the story, she’s presumably been living with him for a quite a while, and it is not as if he can live off his magic, all climate fruit garden forever with no ill effects—or maybe he can, it being magic and all.

The story does not have much of a plot and is more of a slice of life thing or a collection of memories. That is not inherently bad, but I would have liked some more humor or something going on other than eating magic fruit and kissing chicks. Most slice-of-life stuff has some humor to it or really strong characterization so that the reader can enjoy the story despite it portraying such un-noteworthy events.
I am sure that some people would find it cute and appreciate it, but that’s my opinion.


The ending came rather abruptly. There’s a bunch of scenes, and then she’s gone. I would maybe have liked that if the framing of the story was different, but as it was I was mostly disappointed that nothing had happened. Maybe the perfect ending I didn’t find was different, but it shows care was put into the story when all real ends are somewhat satisfying to read.

If you aren’t looking for a story with heavy plot, don’t want to think to hard about things, and like cutesy romances, maybe check this out.

I need strawberries...

Absolutely without a shadow of a doubt. THIS is one METICULOUSLY crafted love storygame. At first it was kinda like Snow, but it has its own unique sea-side (pun intended).

Aside those, no errors were in spelling or grammar, the character's development with the other (*cough *cough Marina *cough *cough) was realistic, and their love scenes were so sweet, just like hazelnut ice cream (no, not strawberries).

One thing which sort of cut short the excellent story, however, was the ending. It wasn't really detailed, as if it was rushed into place. An epilogue could have been icing on the perfect cake. Not to worry, it's not the end of the world. Just have more development on the endings in your stories to come (I hope you DO have more to come).

I missed out some Reeses' Cups Ice Cream just to read this. 7/8.

'The Ocean's Daughter' is written beautifully. Despite other comments, I think that the grammar and spelling was done exceptionally well compared to other stories on this website. There are no complaints from me on that end.

Though I have to admit that I did have trouble connecting with any of the characters. I feel that there could have been more character development, and I certainly would enjoyed reading more about the mermaid and her past. The ending struck me as a bit disappointing; I was expecting more of a climax or build-up at that point. (Though I clearly got the bad ending.)

Overall, this is a well written short story. The author has talent and skill in terms of writing fiction. If only I could have learned more about Marina and her life as a mermaid! Maybe if I play again, the "good" ending will be better...?

Rating: 6/8

Very realistic love story, the uniqueness in this story is that you have to be actually thoughtful to understand and build the relationship little by little. Love is never complete without its good and bad times, and in this story the author resembled both aspects of it in a very excellent way

Umm..Give me a tissue...I have no words ;-(

it ok

A sweet story.

it is fine sad but fine

very sad yet soooo goood

I got the good end! It was kinda easy after playing through the other endings,






*spoilers*








Just do everything you would do to get the neutral end, but pick 'not in love' at the end.

It’s ok, but I don’t love the ending.

I can't figure out how to go with her even though it seems like I did everything right.

I did it, i got perfect. This is fun

This was the best game I ever read! I loved this so much!

OK GUYS I GOT THE PERFECT ENDING!!!!!!! You have to tell her a cheesy joke, then a love joke, and you have to do everything you can to make her fall in love with her. Let her sleep in the bed with you when she has nightmares, go in the ocean with her, tickle her and carry her, and then YOU GET TO LIVE IN ATLANTIS WITH HER!!!!!!!! YASSSS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I loved this book until the end. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY would Marina's father not think Brandon was worthy?!?! And why didn't Marina decide to stay or why couldn't Brandon ask her to stay? And why couldn't Marina argue with her father to let Brandon come? THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!!!!!!!

Mediocre writing, lots of typos, lack of punctuation, story doesn't make much sense (convenient things washing up on the beach etc), predictable twist at the end with no build-up, stereotypical and offensive female character.

It was great, not to meantion that I loved the twist at the end. I only wish there was a chance for Maria NOT to leave.

WHY DOES SHE LEAVE HIM?!? NOOO

sad good but sad

Excuse me, why do I get a sad ending when I say I love Marina but get the good ending only when I say I didn't??! What logic is this

I loved it

Really though? It's called the ocens daughter, I mean I get that part, but this is a sad love story, not a mermaid story... well mostly.

The writing could be smoother but the story was consistent and very sweet! I enjoyed it.

maybe this is a better ending

still a better love story than twilight. hehehe.
but still. i felt like i was there in the story. so sad that it had to end that way. wish there was more. maybe he goes looking for the mermaid?

I finally got the good ending!!!!!

I wish you could get the perfect ending without having to get every single one right

Although it was short, it was a nice read. I was just sad when it ended with Marina leaving :(

Finally figured it out and got the perfect ending! Several of the comments here are helpful to getting the ending, but the big one that finally pushed me through was instead of sitting down and asking her to go steady at the beach sunset, lay down next to her and she'll ask YOU to go steady. Smooth sailing after that ;)
The other big point worth mentioning is that you need to hug her when she has the nightmares, not kiss her. Good luck to all of you!

I hated the ending

It's a good story but I feel like the decisions aren't really matter. And the story itself feels like being rushed and short or something like that.

LOVED IT. Fun to pass the time with, adorable and sweer, good read overall 10/10

loved it

It has kind of a sad ending ??

seemed way too short and rushed. i've played a few times and am still not sure how to get the "perfect" ending...

yes you did that

this was good, but a little bit too rushed in my opinion, so i gave it 6/8

Too short

Sweet story.

Wow the ending is just stupid if she truly loved him she would stay

It was a really good story

Ohhhhhh......seriously can't Marina stay happily with Brandon....It's must be hard to forget 'bout her,with living near the ocean.......

Unfortunately I found this vague, not believable or captivating, predictable, and honestly pretty boring. Not sure how the rating is as high as it is...

That was bittersweet. Ow.

Yesssssssssss!!!

*sheds tear*

add pictures this is boring

I love the story, but I think there was a glitch? I chose to gave her a hug after the nightmare, but the story acted like I'd tried to kiss her?? I think that's why I didn't get a good ending....

amazing and very good at the wording it could be more descriptive though, you should make a sequel it was so good.

Good story with great options. Story was fun and bittersweet with meaningful endings. Wish you could add more endings in the future (or at least add more descriptions to the pre-existing ones). Also perfect story. Like Snow, but better.

it is actually a really great story, and the ending had me crying inside...

Good story but 'best' ending kinda sucks. I got 3 endings, poor, average and best. Do everything right but be friends at the end is the best ending to go with her? In that retrospect, the ending sucked and in all the endings, you don't get to be with her. So good but bittersweet.

SO ROMANTIC

its hard to get the best ending

I LOVED IT! It's so real and yet a fiction. bitter like pineapple yet sweet like strawberries. I honestly wish there was more!

^u^

An excellent romance, suitable to a wide demographic.

I think we should of got the option to become a merman or something along those lines it was very heartbreaking

I loved this story. I felt so connected with it and just had to keep playing until I got the “good ending” and not just the “average ending”. It was worth every minute. Such a beautiful story and style of writing too!

the ending made me cry

While it is sweet and heart warming, I felt like my choices didn't effect anything. As far as I can tell there's really only one outcome, which I personally find disappointing. However the intereactions are pleasant to read.

Hmm... I think that even if its a short story, things develop too fast.Marinas' personality is not desirable, so I didnt really want to be together... unless i wished to be some sort of personal ... slave.The twist wasnt a terrible surprise, but still it came too sudden.

Don't understand it.

Awesome

Is the best ending 'Stay on land'? Overall it was a great story.

OMG! This is really good! Most stories on this site either drag on for too long , are too hard or too easy - but this story is perfect. There is a right balance of choices to make and it all links together really well. Your descriptions are very interesting and can make the reader picture what everything looks like and the way Brandon is feeling! Well done for such a great story!

I love the ending! This story is incredibly well written with only a few mistakes. Love the story!!

Sweet and short-lasting, just like strawberry.

Would've prefered more backstory on why the man is living in an isolated island, but overall it was a good love tale.

Absolutely fantastic

THATS SO GOOD BUT SO SAD AT THE END THE ENDING I GOT 8/8 I'M GONNA CRY BUT I'M SMILING IT WAS SOOOOOOO GOOD!!!

I enjoyed the story. There was a good amount of choices and sub-plots,

kinda nice

How in the world are you supposed to get the perfect ending? I mean all the other endings are so melancholy...

This is a good Love & Dating story game I really enjoyed it, good job!

Eh it's okay.

Okay, one of the better stories on the site. The melancholy was obviously inspired by 'Snow', arguably the best love story on the site. My only problem with the story is the ending. What were you thinking? Was she not on land the entire time and- WHOOPSIES, no-one noticed? How could he not notice? REALLY? Oh well, still a good story, though the ending fell short of a good one.

So good and sad

I have no damn idea how the hell I'm supposed to get the "perfect" ending. The only time I go with her is as a friend, and as it stands right now the ending is incredibly annoying. Tried plenty of times.

So good

A good book hat reminds me of snow.

Excellent story; I finally got the perfect ending (I think)!!!!!!

I am not even sure it's possible to NOT stay on land

Why can't you make a happy ending?

I kinda cried...

PERFECT ENDING! OH YEAH!

Good storygame, and the way the story is told is reminiscent of Snow, as others have said. I like this story, but I do feel it's just a teeny bit cheesy at times. The different endings and choices give you a good bit of replayability. Nice work.

please give a sequel! no protagonist just lets go of his love just like that!

I loved it. Beautiful, even though I think I got the sad ending. There were a couple of issues with the links, it said I tried to kiss her when I hugged her anyway, an amazing story. 7/8

I'm... I'm so sad... and I'm not even really Brandon. I am now in an office chair of emotion because of this. I want to play again to get a better end.. but I feel like I deserve this. *tears*

I gave it a lower score because of the end i got. I got the stay on land ending i wouldve been like screw neptune man im coming with you. The story is great but the ending really ticked me off.

I thought it was a good game...until I realized that the ending depends on a seemingly very unimportant choice.
Protip to anyone that wants to get the best ending: Tell a cheesy joke followed by a love one. Stay far far away from the musical one.
If anyone wants a full walkthrough message me.

It was a great. The story was creative, not altogether surprising, but the challenge was getting the best ending. The best ending was adorable.

I honestly enjoyed this I thought it was a well put together game it kept me interested and hooked me in right away. The plot and writing was creative though I just wish getting to the good ending wasn't so hard. It had me replaying and replaying tell I finally managed to get the best ending to live with her which was just as said the best way to end!

Well I got to be her best friend in Atlantis.
Really well put together, and made me feel for the characters. The MC's dialogue could use a little polish though.

There are 3 different types of endings but 4 actual endings. You either go live with her as friends, get left behind after beings friends or get left behind after becoming lovers. The final one is probably the best ending, where you live with her in Alantis as enternal lovers. The way to do this is to be romantic, but not overly so. At the start, soothe like a friend, the jokes don't matter much but the love joke seems to get a better reaction from her. Then, talk to her about your painting, let her sleep in your bed, tell her how you don't feel lonely after she came and that your her family. ***THE MOST IMPORTANT PART*** if you want a perfect ending DO NOT KISS HER when she gets nightmares again. This is where whether you get left behind of taken along is decided. So after you hug her, tell her that she won't drown because you will be there for her. Then take her to the beach sunset and ask to "go steady". After that, just be romantic, tell her that her hair smells like the ocean, kiss her and at the end hopefully you get taken along to Alantis with her.

I actually fell in love with this girl lol. I mean seriously, I almost cried when she had to leave me.....alone....for the rest of my life....without her....the woman i fell in love with *Burst into tears*

Really good. I enjoyed it alot.

should be a walkthrough lol

good story, hard 2get perfect

it's good but needs help...like ALOT.

There are three TYPES of endings not three possible endings.
Two of the four possible endings would be classified as average I suppose.

Might want to change that on the front page.

Very linear and repetitive. Not bad during the first few read-throughs as everything is more or less fresh content. It's a simple dating simulator so don't expect a novel.

Did I get close to perfect.

Blahhhhh.. I can't get the perfect ending :'( lol

Just what am I missing..? I can't get the perfect ending..

I gotta say, it seemed similar to Snow, but I think the Ocean's Daughter felt more romantic. I managed to get the best end on the second try, and I don't think I got the bad ending. Personally, the story as a whole was fine. Playing through it was a blast. I just felt the ending felt too short and abrupt to be satisfying. Parts of the story involving the father and even the relationship could have also been built up more. Because of the nature of the medium, the developing relationship seemed to grow way to fast. Outside of that, it was quite enjoyable.

I want to assure players that this game DOES have a perfect ending where you CAN live with her and still be in love with her. I promise.

Difficult alright, quite realistic on the whole "strict dad" thing, but good plot and storyline

Got it! Had to change one small thing. Yay!

Gaaaahhhhh. Perfect ending where??

I finally got all three endings. Except there's no true love end.... The so-called perfect ending is best friends, not lovers. Marina's dad is way too strict.

As many said, the end felt to forced. Also, Marina is a common name and it means "relative to the sea", and it's the feminine form of "marino" (mundo marino = sea world), the sea salt has nothing to do with it :)

So hard! Played it a bajilion times now. So hard to beat! But as soon as I accomplish it, I will have......

A NEW LIFE ACHIEVEMENT!

I love it! Played it a bunch and never got the perfect ending though..... HEEEEELLLLPPPP!!! :P

Very well done and bittersweet :) I do hope that the perfect ending is one where they get to stay together.

I really liked this story, and it reminded me of Snow's format. However, even after completing the story multiple times, I still can't win the story. I get the ending where we love eachother, but I can't live with her.

Lovely.

Awesome

In love with this game

Awesome what mark did I get?

Awesome! The first time I played it I only gotten to be a friend, but the second time, I got her to FALL IN LOVE with ME! Awesome!

Awesome! The first time I played it I only gotten to be a friend, but the second time, I got her to FALL IN LOVE with ME! Awesome!

holy boon boon! that was amazing.
i hate how it had to have a sad ending but then again life can be a bitch!
i admire your work and the beitiful discriptions, if only i knew of a life and place.
keep up the great work!!!
Bye!!!! :) :) :) ;)

I've done this so many times but I can't figure it out!! I really want to know how to get the perfect ending :) please please someone tell me or email me (hint hint) ;)

Tried everything. And if the father not accepting is the best then boo. The story was fine but the ending disappointing.

YES! I got it! :D

I can't do it! I've tried being romantic, I've tried being her friend, I've tried both at the same time! I can't get a happy ending :(

I tried to take it slow, friends then lovers, but her dad rejected me! Is that the best ending? Because it's really sad. How can they stay together?

Is the perfect ending where she says you can't come with her? If so that's lame...

Very nice story, I like how it captures a mood. Romance is difficult to portray.

I got the bad ending and what I suppose was the average ending. How do you get the best ending?

Got the perfect ending! Woohoo! Great game!

At first I thought the ending wasn't the perfect ending. Turns out it was. :/

Gosh I need this perfect ending XD

Finally got the perfect ending! (I think.) A bit disappointing, since it seemed rushed. However, the rest of the game was wonderful. Keep up the good work.

It was so sad...and absolutely beautiful.

Great story. Sad ending.

I JUST WANT THE PERFECT ENDING. Is that too much to ask?

Very good, except for the end bit (won't reveal it, due to potential spoilers) felt forced and ruined the atmosphere of the story, before that part.

How do I get the perfect ending? I tried almost every combination of positive choices I could think of.... It might be a spoiler, but as I so want to see the perfect ending, I would not mind a walkthrough. Someone help please!

Oh my... amazing!!!

Can't figure out how to get the 'perfect' happy ending. :( Good though.

Well-written for the most part, but with a few typos here and there that I found a bit distracting. I'm a little sad that there are only three endings, but I've only discovered one so far ('normal', I think) so I suppose that's not saying much about my own skill.

Sad

Magnifique

I'm the last reviewer. Sorry if I'm spamming reviews.

This was a lovely yet sad story. It reminds me much of the other one called Snow. I'll continue till I get a perfect score.

Dammit. Still can't get the perfect ending.

How COME I cant get the perfect ending? My endings are so sad.

That was excellent, one of my favorites.

A charming story. I really enjoyed it and look forward to more like it.

oh man the ending is amazeing i got cold chills!!

OH WHY??? Cruel Neptune

I got the sad ending wherein she was "the one that got away".. Will the ending be the same if I just chose to be "friends" with her? Hmmm...

Great read too. Sad. :(

Yey! I finally got the perfect score! Turns out to find true love you need to tell a cheesy joke. Brilliant story, very cute. Got to say, I kind of saw the big plot twist at the end coming. Not that it mattered though, it was still a lovely story.

I lost count of how many times I played this game trying to get the happy ending.

Aw, so sad, she left! WHY DO I NEVER GET PERFECT ENDING!!!!!??

Wow..please make more supercallafradgilisticespialidocous fantastic story games like this!

Wow... I just want to say, that is one of THE BEST story games I've ever seen. Definitly deserves a rating if an 8, and the ending is so sad that makes it even better. And im not even a BOY lol! XD thanks for this awesome story game, i will alwats remember it. :') it brings tears of joy to my eyes!

Wow... I just want to say, that is one of THE BEST story games I've ever seen. Definitly deserves a rating if an 8, and the ending is so sad that makes it even better. And im not even a BOY lol! XD thanks for this awesome story game, i will alwats remember it. :') it brings tears of joy to my eyes!

Aw...I played this a gazillion times and never got the perfect ending. Disappointment :,(

OMG I PLAYED THIS NINE TIMES AND EVERY TIME GOT "STAY ON LAND" FINALLY I JUST CLICKED A BUNCH OF RANDOM STUFF AND GOT THE PERFECT ENDING :) I ALMOST GAVE UP XD

At first I tried to play it safe, but got a tear jerker of an ending. After that I had to go back and get the perfect one. Great job.

Someone tell me how to get perfect ending

I Got The Perfect Ending!!

(Spoiler Alert)

Do Everything To Fall In Love!!

touching, nicely done

The story was really touching and I got the perfect ending :)

Where do I keep going wrong? No offense, I love this story, but I want the supreme ending! The one I kept getting was okay and sweet, but I just know it wasn't the best.

most boring story ive read on this site to date, granted I'm a male and the target ausience was probably females. The one plot twist evry option leads to was apparent from the start

It's a very good story and please create a sequel :))

It's a very good story and please create a sequel :))

I really enjoyed this game. I'm pretty sure I got the average ending, shame. I was hoping I'd get the perfect ending. 7/8.

Too bad it had to end that way. Beautiful writing though! 7/8

Ah! No! I think I got the medium ending. So sad. Playing again!

Gah! Replayed it over and over in attempt to get the perfect ending.... Attempt failed -.- Still a really sweet game~

I liked it, but the third ending was perhaps too difficult to get. A few pointers if you got the second ending would have been nice.

Nice! Although I'm not entirely sure why the choices I picked the second time through got me the 'perfect' ending. A few hints to the player would be nice.

Oh my...it's THAT touching

It's so sad...... I hate sad endings. *Sniffle*

I will never forgive you for making me forever stuck in the friend zone.

Nice man

the story's so good but how do you get the perfect ending?! :D

How do I get the best ending??????

nice and good which i liked but i do not know something about the ending

Great writing. But somehow I don't think I got the best ending.

how do I get the best ending

How do I get the perfect ending?

Never mind. I got the perfect ending.

Good, but I can't tell whether I got the best ending or not. Probably not.

Good

That was a great story! Im not positive but i think i got the best ending, it was great!

Definitely reminds me of Snow... Of course, that's not a bad thing at all. A grammar mistake here and there, but this is honestly really good!

Certain moments were forced, I thought. "Do you really want to do this… be in a relationship…?" Was over the top, in my opinion. Yeah, there were a handful of times where immersion was broken by dialogue, definitely. Also, it's quite apparent that you read Snow prior to making this hahaha. Not a bad story.

Great job fergie :) I love the story and writing. No matter how many times I've tried, I can't get the best ending. But I always feel happy at the end, really well done~

For the life of me I can't get that best ending! Arrgh! Anyway, great game. Nice grammer and dialogue. Liked how you had a lot of options. Just a tad difficult but it was still an awesome game.

Hope you do more games like this.

6/8

YES! I got the perfect ending! For the first time! I love this game, you did a PERFECT job!

I thought it was a good game, though when I went to hug her the the link went to the right spot, but the next page acted as if i had kissed her. I guess that's why i kept ending up on land at the end. I got the friend going with and no memory as well. Maybe you can tell me what I'm missing to get the relationship and going with.

Ok so why do I only get the stay on land? I never have any of the other options no matter what I do.

Nice

All fixed!

(Also I enjoyed the story if that part wasn't clear)

It wasn't bad. A few things though.
I tried to hug her rather than kiss, yet it kept acting as though I kissed her. I also could only get an ending if I started out dating her then said we should just be friends, no other combination worked for me (The Truth page would have no link). I think you messed up the tense (past/present/current) in the first few pages.
Gave it a 6, not your best work but once you fix some of the technical aspects it should be good.
Also up until I was told otherwise, I had thought the main character would I was playing was a girl. Even after I was told I still couldn't help shake the feeling that "he" acted like a "she" more than a "he".

REally good. I enjoyed it alot.

Nice, reminds me of Snow. A lot of times there is no link on the "the truth" page.

Very good story, kinda miffed that the 'in love' ending seems to be broken, but otherwise, well written, even if it isn't my cup of tea. Look forward to reading the other ending, and any other submissons for you. :)

Cool story. I didn't really want to read the whole thing but then I got hooked. Kinda wanted to see more of the ending, I thought it just ended a tad bit too abruptly. There were also some spelling and grammatical errors but it wasn't that bad.

I made sure to stay friends the whole time. Glad it worked out and all! Nice story.

I tried my best with this story, and I think you guys are going to like it.