So, this is something EndMaster suggested. I thought it would be fun, so we'll be fleshing out my superhero universe, Born Among a Hundred.
Fell free to vote on where you want the story to go. Comments and questions are nice too.
Here we go...
- - - - -
Jonathan wipes the blood from his mouth, easily dodging the projectile flames, allowing it to whiz past his ear. "C'mon man, you can do better than that!" He yelled, standing on the balls of his feet. The two boys stood in a large room, the white even floor a canvas for their duel. The bright lights filled the room, and Jonathan leered at his opponent.
"Just stand still!" Patrick screamed, while filling the space surrounding him with flickering flames. He launched another fireball towards Jonathan, keeping his distance. That was the only shot he had at winning, as he knew his friend would beat him in a close-quarters situation. The orb of combusting air missed its target, as Jonathan evaded gracefully.
A sigh escaped Jonathan's lungs, "If you can't hit a moving target, you aren't going to get promoted."
"You're too fast!" Patrick argues, wiping the sweat from his brow. "You know this is hard for me."
Jonathan rubs his close-shaven head. They were both young, not much older than sixteen. It was difficult for both of them, for all the subjects in the compound. Most of the scientists didn't care much for their well being, and the boys had been subjected to painful and grueling tests for most of their lives. Jonathan thinks back to the more painful times, before their abilities had emerged. Shuddering, he looks back to Patrick. "We've made it this far," Jonathan steps toward his friend, "We can't let the others die for nothing."
"I know that, it's just..." Patrick trailed off, turning away. Jonathan took another step forward, and in a flash of a moment was blasted backwards by a forceful contained explosion.
Jonathan's back hit the floor, and flames licked his white jumpsuit, singing it. He knew Patrick held back as to not hurt him, but it was painful all the same. He wheezed for air as he recovered. He let his head fall back onto the hard floor.
The intercom was activated, filling the room with the familiar voice of Dr. Napier. She was a maternal figure for many of the subjects at the compound. Her voice was even and bright, "Well done, Patrick." He voice shifted to that of disappointment, "Jonathan, you need to stay on task. Both of you, report to your bunks for now."
Patrick runs over to Jonathan, in hopes of helping him up. Jonathan frowns, and gets to his feet. "I'm sorry Jon, I did what I had to."
- Respond aggressively
- Respond passively
- Ignore Patrick
You forgot to tell us who we were, man.
It doesn't matter who you are man, just respond aggressively!
There's three people involved in this third-person narrative. No way to know for sure.
We play as Jonathan.
1. Respond aggressively.
Respond aggressively it is, then.
- - - - -
Jonathan scowls, his hands balling into fists.
He knew he would have to go easy on Patrick in the duel, and dreaded that they were paired. The researchers knew they were friends, yet they allowed it. He didn't even attempt to advance towards his friend, either. He knew he would have won if he had. Patrick wasn't a very good fighter, and had trouble utilizing his abilities. Jonathan on the other hand was an adept fighter, and speed was his ally.
Jonathan's fist flew into Patrick's chest, forcing his friend backwards with a sharp force. Patrick fell over with a look of terror in his eyes as Jonathan stood over him. "I'm sorry!" Patrick's hands flew up in defense. It was fear that muddled his ability to control his fire, and Jonathan knew this.
Jonathan quickly picked up his friend, setting him onto his feet. "I'm not." Jonathan said sharply, walking out of the training room. Patrick stood alone.
. . . .
Back at his bunk, Jonathan sat on his bed without a word to his roommates. They knew not to bother him when he was upset. They stood around, or sat on their beds in the bleak room. Metal frames and plain beige sheets adorned the bunk beds. One of Jonathan's roommates, Chip, plopped sown next to him. Chip was a year younger than Jonathan, but very charismatic. However, he was known for his unique psychic attributes. Chip respected the privacy of others, and tended not to probe the thoughts of others. His battle technique was to create illusive illusions to toy with his opponents. Jonathan knew this well.
"How did your duel go?" Chip asks, even though he already knows the answer. Most of the duels and training exercises are displayed on screens in many of the rooms of the compound.
- "I don't want to talk about it."
- "It went well."
- "Not so good..."
Thanks for the advice, I just spew these out. I'll be sure to think more about things like that.
EDIT: Now that I recall, I had been meaning to write 'elusive' instead.
2. "It went well."
"I don't want to talk about it."
I don't want to talk about it.
Haha, very insightful of you, Mizal.
We should vote option 1 for every post.
Now I can use this information to manipulate the story.
Everyone now pick the 2nd or 3rd options.
I will firmly always choose option 2 now.
Jonathan inhales deeply, "I'm not in the mood to talk about it." He looks down and grips his sheets.
"That's alright, I get it." Chip looks at Jonathan, "Dueling friends is always tricky. Either you go too easy, or do something you'll regret. You did your best."
The intercom blares, with a different voice from before. Instructor Arthurs' gruff voice spoke, "All subjects report to the assembly hall for instruction."
Jonathan was pleased to get out the conversation between Chip and him. He knew Chip wanted to help, but simply wanted to be left alone for the moment. The entire bunk forms a line, and awaits for their appropriate counselor. The door opens, and Counselor Jeri appears in the open doorway. "It looks like Arthurs has another lesson."
"He always does." Chip quips.
Jeri smirks, and leads the way. The bunk follows, as the door shuts behind them.
The entire body of counselors and subjects stood in an ordered block, only taking up third of the space in the assembly hall. Ordered by bunk, with 100 bunks and a total of five subjects in each bunk. Jonathan's bunk number is 17, and even had a badge on his white jumpsuit that proved it.
Everyone stands, with Instructor Arthurs at the front. The middle-aged man's voice fills the room, and demanded everyone's attention. "Focus is a tool I find to be imperative to our cause," His voice booms, as the subjects and counselors listen and watch attentively. No one dares to do otherwise. "To lose one's focus, he damns himself to failure."
He's talking about me, Jonathan thinks to himself. His anger flares as his mind rushes back to Patrick. Suddenly, he has a realization. Patrick took the opening, he knew I was distracted. With this, a pang of guilt rings in his heart.
Arthurs continues to speak as Jonathan's thoughts fester. "So, Jonathan of bunk 17 and Counselor Jericho, please step forward."
Jonathan snaps to attention at the mention of his name and his counselors. I knew this was going to happen, he exists his line and comes forward with his counselor. Jonathan's uneasiness washes away as he stands with Jeri, and listens to the instructor's words.
"Now, focus will allow you to remain hold of your wits, and have a greater control of your abilities," Arthurs explains as the subjects and counselors watched. "Jonathan, I want you to land a strike on your counselors back." Arthurs looks to Jeri, "Jericho, do not let him. Employ every defensive tactic you have."
Jericho uses hard-light energy. He's been known to create dense shields and walls at will, Jonathan frowns. He knows that this session will not be easy. Although he was surely faster than his councilor, Jeri has been given the task of defending himself, which he excels at.
"Begin." Arthurs commanded.
Jonathan searched his mind for a solution. Focus. That is what Arthurs was lecturing about. Focus and do what you do best, he thought.
- Distract Jeri, then strike
-Rush Jeri head on
-Toy with Jeri and search for an opening
Search for an opening and use a sex toy on Jeri
3. Toy with Jeri and search for an opening.
Toy with him.
2. Rush Jeri head on!
Lol, you stuck to your guns.
Always XD (Though I do like 3 more :P...I mean, nothing. I didn't say anything.)
Since everyone is going all "3" and "2", I'll pick 1 :D (Although we all know the winning option is 3 -sigh-)
Instructor Arthurs took a step back, standing in front of the duel that was about to commence.
Jeri's hands glow with a pink light, as Jonathan and his counselor circle each other. Jonathan dashed forward, raising his left fist in an attempt to strike. In response, Jeri raised his arms to block the blow. With a glare of his eyes, a sizable cube of hard light pushes Jonathan back.
Jonathan gritted his teeth and smashed the cube into pieces with a single punch, sprinting again towards Jeri.
"Do not allow your anger to get the best of you, Jonathan." Arthurs advises, watching calmly.
Jonathan continues to run, and swipes at Jeri, who conjures another cube. With a pleased smirk, Jonathan leaps onto the cube and uses it as a spring board to leap onto his counselor. As he soars through the air, he kicks Jeri in the chest, thrusting him backwards and onto the ground.
Arthurs' often gruff voice brightens, "Good!"
Jeri rolls to recover, and casts a wall between himself and Jonathan. With a scowl and a few animalistic grunts, the speedy subject employs a barrage of attacks, each one denting or cracking the field of energy. Jonathan's fists make contact, his fury grows, and with a final blow, he shatters the shield.
The counselor squints, and fires a dense ball of energy at Jonathan.
This again, Jonathan tries to not think about the fight between Patrick and him. Jonathan sidesteps the ball, and readies himself for more projectiles. His counselor amasses a dozen spheres of light, and has them circle Jonathan.
Jericho's eyes meet with his subject, and Jonathan responds with a fierce glare. Jonathan was glad that Jeri was able to take anything he could give him, even though his face displays otherwise. This is a real duel. A challenge, Jonathan's look of fury changed to a sly smirk.
The orbs fling themselves towards their target, missing by only hairs. Jonathan's speed is just enough to evade the projectiles. Spheres zip past his body, as he ducks, flips, and dodges all the while gaining ground on his counselor.
He's lost his focus. He has no idea I'm this close, Jonathan's smirk grows into a grin as he slips underneath his opponent. Jeri turns and dishes out a heavy roundhouse kick, sweeping Jonathan away. What? NO! Jonathan's face contorts into a rage-induced scowl as he lunges toward his duel partner.
In the middle of the air, only a few feet off the ground, Jonathan hangs. Two pink walls of translucent energy hold him up, and he struggles to escape. The walls merge into a single bubble, successfully trapping the subject.
Instructor Arthurs nods in approval, his face revealing nothing of his emotions.
Jonathan's bubble slowly shrinks, causing him to panic. Jeri stands below with his arm suspended, and fingers slowly coming together. Focus! You get out of this! Jonathan pushes out with his arms and legs in an attempt to resist against the crushing force. It was no use. He needed to get behind Jeri, and end the session. Jonathan closes his eyes, and pushes with all of his strength, but with no avail.
Thinking back to the duel earlier, he thought of what he had said to Patrick. We can't let the others die for nothing, Jonathan recalled. The pain and fear rushed back in an instant, and in another were quelled by Jonathan's own power. I've got to go on! Get behind Jeri!
A strange power erupts in the boy, and Jonathan found himself free from the clutch of the bubble. His eyes pop open, and sees Jeri's back facing him. Wasting no time, with his heart pounding and mind racing, he pulls back his fist and jabs his counselor in the back.
Each of the counselors and subjects stood in astonishment. Instructor Arthurs, unfazed, congratulates Jonathan. "Well done, Jonathan. You have surprised us all."
. . . .
The instruction was over, and the subjects and counselors were directed to the cafeteria for dinner. All about, seemingly everyone was talking about Jonathan. He stood in line, holding a plastic tray. A clean-shaven man wearing an apron and jumpsuit behind the counter emptied his ladle onto Jonathan's tray, "Good job, kid."
Jonathan didn't mind the attention. He knew people were talking about him, and what he did. Jeri had told him he had displayed a new ability, and would train with all of them the next day. Teleportation, The word chimed in his mind.
Bunk number seventeen split into their own preferred groups, but Chip had decided against it. He appears beside Jonathan with his trademark grin. "So, what do you think?" Chip asks, looking up at his roommate and carrying his own tray of unmentionable slop.
"I'm not sure what to think," Jonathan walked, looking for a suitable place to sit. In his direct line of sight, he finds Patrick sitting alone. He would usually sit next to him, but now he wasn't so sure.
Chip notices Jonathan's discomfort, and looks at Patrick as well. "Why don't we sit with Patrick?" Chip suggests, in hope of reconnecting the two boys.
- Find another spot
- Sit next to Patrick
isn't this 2? FIND ANOTHER SPOTTTTT
Find another spot.
I like the way you think, Mayana!
I would pick two, but you can pick for us again.
Sit next to Patrick.
?I haven't read these yet, but I will. I want to see how it'd go with the awkwardness and how you'd write it. I think it's the harder option to write. :D
2) Sit next to Patty.
I mean, Jonathan does feel guilty for acting out on his anger so impulsively. He would want to apologize. Patrick and him have been through worse together.
2! Sit next to Patrick!
- Sit next to Patrick
- - - - -
"Sure, Chip." Jonathan sets his tray down next to Patrick and takes a seat, while Chip sits down on the other side of the table. Jonathan thinks of what to say, prodded by the awkward silence. He opens his mouth to apologize, and in the same moment, so does Patrick. The two struggle to determine who goes first.
Chip grins an open-mouth smile, as the two attempt to reconnect.
Patrick looks at Jonathan for a moment, "I'll go first."
Jonathan places his hand on Patrick's shoulder. "I was wrong. I'm the one who needs to apologize, not you."
Patrick seems surprised. It wasn't often Jonathan opened up like this. He allowed his friend to continue, nodding.
"I know you did what you could to win. If I hadn't stopped, you would have- " Jonathan stops. This is not what he wanted to say. "I mean, you took advantage of your enemy's weakness. You did what you had to. I understand now. I am sorry, despite what I said before."
With a grin Patrick wrapped his arms around his friend, "I forgive you, Jon." Jonathan reluctantly accepts the hug, and Chip's grin grows into a full blown smile.
It was time to stop hugging, as it was getting awkward.
. . . .
The subjects and counselors finished dinner and returned to their bunks. Jonathan found himself laying on his bed staring up in the darkness. Today was..., Jonathan decided he couldn't find a word to describe how he felt. He had developed a new ability, something that rarely happened, defeated Jeri in a duel, and made up with his friend. He was excited to train with Jeri and his roommates the next morning. With a heart full of confusion, excitement, and joy, he fell asleep.
Like many nights before, Jonathan's unconscious mind drifts into his memories. The excruciating medical procedures, physical tests, and mental strain had return to him. He tosses and turns in his bed. Familiar faces, the people he knew flash in and out of focus. Dr. Napier, caring and stern. Patrick, feeble and loyal. Jeri, strong and patient. Instructor Arthurs, calm and gruff. Chip, brash and intelligent.
His mind wafts on, leaving Jonathan with what he said to Patrick during his duel, what he has internalized, and what keeps him going. We can't let the others die for nothing.
Jonathan is shook, and is awoken abruptly. Jeri and Chip stand over him with their hands to their mouths, signifying that he should keep quiet. "The others are sleeping, we need you to wake up!" Jeri whispers forcefully.
"What's going on?" Jonathan sits up in his bed, and gets out of bed. The room is dark, he knows they shouldn't be awake.
"We are leaving the facility, Jonathan." Chip says, eyes wide open with a look of fear and excitement.
The notion of leaving was groundbreaking for Jonathan. He knew that something existed beyond the compound, as subjects and mentors who became promoted high enough were sent away.
Jeri whispered, leaning in, "We've been planning this for months. I've memorized the maps, I know where to go. This is going to be very dangerous, and people may die. We only have one chance. But, Dr. Napier and a handful of other scientists are helping us, as well as other bunks of subjects and counselors." Jeri stood firm, and seemed a little nervous.
- "What's the plan?"
- "What about Patrick?"
- "I don't know what to say..."
- "I can't do this."
How do you guys read these so fast? Haha.
Zag. You must understand that some people read a lot. I am one of those people. We normally read fast too, so get over it XD
I read fast too, but I guess I thought it would take longer for people to reply.
Maybe they're not reading at all and just posting a choice option to see how fast you can write.
That was my initial thought, but it was driven out by my hopes of otherwise.
"What about Patrick?"
2. What about Patrick?
Maybe I should make all the horrible or morally incorrect options number two.
I think you should make ALL the choices like that.
Haha, too late for that, Pops. You all have established the base of this Jonathan's character. Quick to anger, impulsive, but also caring and obedient.
I will still choose 2, most likely xD
Y'all, sometimes you've gotta pick the least interesting option and see what the author comes up with
4) -"I can't do this"
*gets crushed by bubble*
To hell with Patrick! What's the plan?! (1)
I'll merge one and two for the next entry.
why is your character such a goody two-shoes? I have a burning hatred for everything nice.
goody two shoes? not really, but he knows when he's wrong. most of the subjects are obedient to the instructors and counselors. It's the scientists they resent.
fine,whatever. I just think a rivalry between Patrick and Jonathan would've been totally awesome tho
its not a good rivalry if they aren't matched somehow
Mix option 1 and 2. Pwees.
Earlier in this same thread, on this same day:
"I'll merge one and two for the next entry."
is it possible to mix all four? MAKE HIM BIPOLAR
You has no creativity.
You have no reason.
"What about Patrick, and what's the plan?"
"You're a good friend, Jon, and an even better- " Jeri is about to say subject, but decides on a more personal word, "-an even better student. Patrick is in one of the bunks that are helping us. He doesn't know of the plan, but his counselor does."
Jonathan nods, "So, how is this going to work?"
Chip stays silent, a rare thing. Jeri answers Jonathan's question, "We wake up your roommates, and if luck has it, they'll make the right choice. I'll open the door without any trouble, as you know, I know the key code. Then, I'll inform the subjects of what they need to do to escape, and direct them to where they need to go. I'm also going to have to escort Dr. Napier out of her room, and create a blockade for our opponents."
"I understand." Jonathan whispers.
"But, this is all in the best case scenario. As Arthurs has said, prepare for the worst." Jeri allows a small and sad smile to show. "I'm going to miss the man. He'll most likely try to stop us, and amass a force of other bunks."
Chip keeps his voice low, "It's most likely going to be messy."
Jonathan feels a bit nervous, but attempts to shove the feeling into the back of his mind. One chance. We can do this. All of us. "So, what now?"
Jeri points to the three other roommates. "Wake them up, and tell them what's going on. If they refuse to follow, neutralize them. I know it sounds harsh, but it's what must be done. We want this to go as smoothly as possible."
Chip and Jonathan get to the task, and Jonathan shakes the boy above him. "Brett, wake up." Jonathan urges, as Brett slowly opens his eyes, rubbing them.
"What?" He asks tiredly, "What's going on?"
"We're leaving the compound," Jonathan quickly explains a shortened version of what Jeri and Chip had told him.
Brett isn't too bright, but looks up to Jonathan. He reluctantly agrees.
Behind him, a shout cries, "No! We ca- " before the roommate can finish Jonathan's anger flares, as he leaps off the bunk bed and delivers a sharp jab to the boy's head. He stops shouting, dazed. Chip waves his hand, and the boy falls asleep.
Jeri helps another roommate out of his bed, Rahm. "Good." Jeri begins, "Four out of five subjects. Not too bad. Do we all understand what we need to do?"
Rahm shakes off the grogginess, and nods dutifully. Rahm wields the ability of density control, able to liquefy or harden his body at will. He is a skilled fighter and his set of skills makes him a valued ally. He doesn't talk much, and often has a blank or serious expression plastered on his face. In this moment, he wears the latter.
Brett on the other hand, is scatterbrained and talkative, and often finds himself with Chip. Tonight, he stays silent. He absorbs all forms of energy, feigning the ability of control over cold and darkness. He has been training to be able to release his stored energy at will, but with little results.
Jonathan looks at all of his surviving bunk. I wonder how many will have to be left behind?
Jeri nods, "let's go. Be swift, quiet, and stick to me. I'm sure they already suspect something is up." With that, he inputs the key code to open the door.
The remains of the bunk steps out into the dim and cold hallway, and find another full bunk waiting for them. Jeri motions for them to follow him. They obey.
Glad to see you were luckier than us, Jonathan thinks.
A few other doors open, and their members join the amassing group. A total of four full bunks, and four incomplete ones walk down the hallway. Jeri motions to Chip and another subject in the crowd. All of the renegade bunks feel a strange connection between each of them.
Thanks to Chip and Breanna, a mental link has been established, Jeri's voice is heard in everyone's head. We must act quickly. Follow this hallway, and go to the left. Counselor Aaron will deal with any guards or active scientists. Then, continue and enter the middlemost door...
Another door down the hallway opens, and a bolt of lightning strikes the hallway wall. A booming thunderclap follows. A fight must have broken out in that bunk.
No! Jeri raises an energy wall, blocking off the door. Blood splatters. against the translucent force field. Aaron will take care of the rest! Go!
Jonathan looks around for Patrick or one of his bunkmates in the crowd. None of them are found. Patrick's bunk is further down the hallway, but Jeri had told the group to go ahead. The renegade bunks began to move down the hall, following Aaron, a tall, and freckled young man as he padded down the hallway.
- Follow the rest of the group
- Run down the hall to find Patrick
1) Follow the rest of the group.
Follow the group.
guys, can't you at least make him just the tiniest bit selfish?
He's already prideful, impulsive, and quick to anger. If anything, he'll probably think Patrick can handle himself. Or just be scared out of his wits by the whole situation.
Not what I would have guessed, but thank you either way.
Oh! It's good to see you here! What do you think of the story so far?
2. Run down the hall to find Patrick!
Follow the group.
The first version of this was lost, as I forgot to save it like the dummy I am. I re-wrote it without regard to the last one. Although it is shorter, this one is much better.
- - - -
Jonathan runs, catching up to his fellow subjects easily. Jogging through the halls feels unnatural to him, as they were often led at a walking pace in a single file line. He's sure the others feel the same way. Jonathan's heart beat rapidly in his chest, not from the exercise, but from the fear. Patrick will have to be strong, Jonathan thinks to himself. I can't let my emotions get in the way this time. We only have one shot.
Jonathan does his best to pay attention to Aaron's instructions as they all run together. A few doors open, and other bunks join them. Jonathan doesn't bother look at how many they have lost, and tries to keep his head clear.
Suddenly, the lights are flicked on. Panic erupts in the mental link, as dozens of flustered thoughts flood everyone's mind. "Shut up!" Aaron says aloud, as the intercom blares, and Instructor Arthurs' voice is heard.
"All bunks, awaken and stay on high alert! An escape attempt is in process. Only exit your bunks if you are willing to defeat the renegades. Permission to use lethal force. Enforcers will be deployed soon."
Aaron curses and turns around, halting everyone. "We are now endangered, so listen closely. Protect one another, and stay close to me. If you get separated, you'll most likely die, but if you survive, remember my directions to reach the final exit."
No one says anything to interject. Aaron leads the way, and turns to the left when they arrive at the appropriate corridor. A few bunk doors open up, and two counselors step out.
Through the mental link, Aaron orders everyone to attack their new foes. The body of renegade subjects and counselors surges forward, trampling their opponents.
"The strength of numbers is something to be reckoned with!" Instructor Athurs congratulates, clapping. "It seems now you can finally demonstrate my lessons in a scenario where there are no regards to safety, renegades."
Jonathan is tripped, a hand tugs on his foot in a fashion familiar to him. The mob continues to move as he is dragged across the white linoleum floor. Jonathan struggles to get a glimpse at his attacker, knowing exactly who it is.
- Mike, the stretching subject
- Todd, subject of shadows
- Zara, the telekinetic subject
2! Todd, the subject of shadows.
I have no idea why, but people with shadow-related powers always interest me a lot. (And yes, I read this.)
Haha, I had to think of some powers that could grab someone from a long distance. Polymorphism is my favorite superpower, but I'm sure Jonathan will have a hard time either way.
I thought of Shikamaru from Naruto when submitting the option of fighting Todd.
Shikamaru :o I haven't watched naturo in awhile, but he was the lazy one that could control anyone touching his shadow, right? And he could stretch his shadow? I vaguely remember the girl with the huge (fan?) fighting him in the tournament.
Polymorphism is fun x3
Yes, that's correct!
However, I imagine Todd to be more aggressive and baleful.
Hooray! I remember things! XD
And hmm..I eagerly await the next part x3 (*whisper* everyone vote #2)
Sorry Seto. I love you and all, but I picked Numero Uno.
Hooray for failed curruption!
It's not corruption >~< it was a whispered ah...plea! Definitely.
This one is my favorite option, as both Jonathan and Mike's powers are dexterity based. Naturally, they have a rivalry.
Mike, the stretchy man
Thank you :D
I want to see what happens with Shikamaru Clone. Plus, if it keeps Zag on his toes then it's good practice.
There's three for Todd and three for Mike. And none for Zara. You guys are super sexist.
Someone needs to break the tie.
Lol. There you are Boss, looking out for your servants!
I'm not sexist. I just don't want a sexy sounding character to become harmed or perish XD
lol. gender equality
Huzzah for Mike! Choose Mike!
Todd, subject of shadows
@ZagHero (I just decided to reply in my vote for this next section. I know you'll see this anyways, but I was curious as to whether I could tag someone correctly.)
I'm enjoying the story. If it were a book all of this would be the first chapter. Not much to go on, but it's a good start. I'll be interested in seeing where it goes. Keep it up.
I'm liking this so far, but I don't give a fuck at all about any of these people. We still have no idea what's going on, or who these super powered fucks are. I kind of randomly pick one choice after every post, because Idgaf. I think you could fix through showing us (not telling us) a more in-depth relationship between people (and perhaps the MC) and through some minor exposition.
The fight will explain Jonathan's connection with the character. Remember, this thread exists to flesh out a story. This is only a rough draft.
I thank you sincerely for your feedback. I'll be sure to heed it.
Looks like Mike won the majority vote. But since the votes were so close I'll write both entries separately.
Also, due to personal issues, my rate of output for these stories will be slowed. I thank you all for showing interest in something I enjoy doing.
-Mike, the stretching subject
- - - - - - -
Jonathan's suit saves him from any serious friction burns from being dragged across the linoleum floor. He flips himself over, using his free arms as a rudder of sorts.
That familiar grin tears into Jonathan's heart. A flood of memories return to Jonathan's mind. The hour-long duels that Mike and he had. It was a rivalry to be cherished, on the brink of friendship. But it is all different now. Jonathan knows that now, it is no longer a duel that he can lose and go back to the comfort of his bunk, it is a matter of life and death.
Mike loosens his grip on Jonathan's ankle, allowing him to stand on his own two feet. The tension is thick, and the two boys have their hearts pounding in their chests.
"How did I know you would be here?" Mike laughs, his perfect smile ripping the idea of hostility from Jonathan's mind. Mike scratched his own shaven head, and chuckled.
Jonathan's emotions swirled inside of him. Aaron's instructions rang true in his mind. Jonathan brushed off Mike's smile and clenched his fist, anger swelling. "Get out of here. It's different this time."
"Oh, of course it is, Jon. This will probably be our last duel. I plan to say goodbye." Mike sighs, "I really don't want to do this. but-"
Jonathan leaps off of the wall and kicks Mike square in the face, knocking him over. He knows he'll have to finish this fast. Mike groans, cupping his bruising cheek. "But, sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. I like you, Jon. I really do. Just know, that this isn't me."
Mike reaches out with his right arm, tripping Jonathan in the same manner as before. Jonathan rolls, kicking Mike's hand off of him. "Aw Jon, just stay still pal!" Mike launches his left arm to jab Jonathan in the belly, but Jonathan rolls and gets to his feet.
"You know I'd never let you get a hit in." Jon allows a small smile to escape as he lunges for Mike. The stretching subject sidesteps, while elbowing his opponent. Jonathan's smile quickly melts into a frown.
I've got to end this quick, Jonathan picks himself up, and deploys a leg sweep, knocking Mike off his balance. Jon grabs his rival's arm and slams him onto the floor, getting jabs in when he can. Mike quickly wraps himself around Jonathan, entangling them both.
"Looks like a draw, old pal."
Jonathan's pulse races through his body, and his mind tries to keep up. Focus! I can get out of this like last time, Jonathan writhes in an attempt to escape, but Mike tightens his grip.
"I feel bad for you, Jon. Death at the hands of your rival. Just know, you were like a brother to me." Mike gradually applies more pressure to Jonathan's body, as he becomes increasingly entangled in the knot of flesh.
"That's good to know," Jonathan struggles, pushing out with all his strength. His teeth are grit in a strenuous grimace. Jonathan closes his eyes, and releases his power. In an instant he finds himself on his back, behind Mike. Jonathan rapidly recovers from his position and releases a flurry of punches to Mike's head and chest. Mike, still in a knot, struggles to untangle himself. He raises his arm and shields himself from the incoming strikes, and with his left raises Jon over his own body, pressing his against the ceiling.
Jonathan looks down at his rival, blood is oozing from his nose, and he's pretty sure he broke a few of Mike's ribs. Even his eye is beginning to swell shut. "Give up, Mike!" Jonathan shouts from above.
"You're the one who's pinned, Jon." Jonathan struggles to reply as Mike presses him into the ceiling. A heavy and translucent pink balls smashes into Mike's face at a high velocity. Jonathan drops to the floor on top of his opponent as Mike loses his grip.
Jeri picks Jonathan up, and casts a energy shell around him and his party. Mike's arms wobble as he looks up. "What? No!"
Jonathan looks to see that Dr. Napier and Patrick stand in the energy shell as well. His heart swells with joy. Mike beats on the shield, before Jeri casts a cube around him, trapping Mike. Jeri squeezes Jonathan's shoulder as he sighs. "Let's get out of here before the enforcers finally come."
- "What will happen to Mike?"
- "How did you guys get here?"
- "Good idea."
Would it be possible to have a bit of both 1 and 2?
If not, then I'm going with 1.
Well, now to write Todd's fight too.
"What will happen to Mike?" and "How did you guys get here?"
- - - - - - - -
"What's going to happen to Mike?"
Jonathan looks up at Jeri's big frame, his squared shoulders, toned muscles and prominent chin. His brown skin gives him an impression of strength and reliability. Jeri nods, "Mike will be fine. The energy field will dissipate when I get out of range."
Jonathan frowns at the thought of what instructor Arthurs would do to his rival in his failure. A new question pops in his head, clouding the image of Mike's discipline. "How did you guys get here?" Jonathan observes the condition of his new group. Jeri and Patrick's suits are torn and singed, while Dr. Napier looks unharmed. The two boys probably held off the opposing subjects and counselors while Napier was in the safety of one of Jeri's shields.
"I recruited Patrick on my way to get Dr. Napier. As you can see, they put up a fight. It's only dumb luck we survived. I'm sure Patrick will tel you his side of the story when we get to safety." Jeri pats Patrick on the back with a grin.
Jonathan nods as the four leave Mike alone, and move down the hallway.
The four move deeper and deeper into the compound, as Dr. Napier instructs them on where to go. Many turns and straight corridors pass like unwanted memories. Jonathan's head is filled with thoughts and memories of all of his fellow subjects. The duels, the tests, the lessons, and the handful of rage-fueled fights in the cafeteria present themselves. The times Patrick and he endured the medical procedures by the hands of the scientists burned in his heart. Jeri's understanding and leadership, showing his bunkmates and himself the abilities locked inside of their painful hearts, gave him the strength to keep moving. Jonathan pays little to attention to where they had been or even to where they are going.
Aaron's voice calls out, "It's about time, Jeri." Jonathan snaps to attention, taking in the corridor in front of them, full of subjects and counselors awaiting Jeri's reply. The faces of the boys and girls vary from excitement, relief, and fear.
Jeri dispels his shield, and Dr. Napier rushes to the end of the hallway. A solid metal door with a small pin code input is the only thing that decorates the wall. Dr. Napier brushes her long auburn hair out of her face and fixes her glasses. She enters the four-digit code, and the door opens with a loud hissing of air.
"Go!" Jeri commands, as the mob of renegades rush through the door. The group is greeted by a dimly lit and damp passageway, and small unrecognizable creatures scurry away from the stomping feet through the puddles of water. Jonathan attempts to focus on the task at hand.
"There's a ladder up ahead!" Dr. Napier shouts from behind the group with her call echoing through the chambers.
Jonathan's heart pounds. This is really happening. What awaits us at the exit? Will it be anything like the compound?
Soon enough, Jonathan finds himself climbing the rusty metal ladder, and entering a small room. Those before him make room for their incoming allies. In a short amount of time, the last subject climbs up, followed by Dr. Napier. "Turn the valve," She commands. Jeri and Aaron both strain to turn the round and steely valve. The door opens, and the light blinds the eyes of the renegades.
"Hello world," Dr. Napier smiles.
* * * *
In the compound, Instructor Arthurs stands in his command chamber. He peers out of a one-way window, with his hands folded behind his back. A duel unfolds before him. A knock raps on his door. "Enter." Instructor Arthur's eyes do not move from the duel.
"Why didn't you employ the enforcers?" A shrill voice asks, clearly agitated. "We lost millions of dollars by losing those subjects, and Dr. Napier holds valuable information about this facility!"
"She will not disclose any information." Arthurs' voice is resolute and calm. "She is an important part of this operation, and we will allow her to continue with her little 'holiday'."
"You are going to allow more than forty subjects to waltz out of here? What message will that send to the others?"
"You are very short sighted, my friend. We will monitor the subjects closely. I assure you, they will grow in this new environment. If anything, it is harsher than the one we provide. You know how many wandering superhumans and gangs are in that city. Let them be." Arthurs breathes in deeply, "Even you thought the amount of subjects that survived the first barrier was astounding. I'm sure those numbers will dwindle in this one."
"What will we tell the council? How will we explain this to the company, how can we justify this to our buyers?"
"We do not need to say anything. We are leading the edge of the future here. Failure happens, experiments take place. It is to be expected."
"And the enforcers? What do we tell them?" Beads of sweat formed on the brow of the shrill-voiced man.
Instructor Arthurs turns to face the man. "Deploy them when the subjects grow stronger. Tell them to find the renegades, and test their abilities. Determine if they deserve to continue."
The streets roared outside the gloomy alleyway. It was something Jonathan was not used to. The city, that is what Dr. Napier called it, was a noisy place. He would have to get used to it. the space above him was a calming blue color. Dingy articles were strewn at their feet, and a strange faded red wall composed of smaller units stood to their back.
"I know a place where they will accept you. You'll be safe there, and you'll be able to use your abilites." Dr. Napier's sweet voice was calming in this strange time. We'll have to walk there, so don't call any attention to yourselves. This place is much more dangerous than the compound."
"How much more dangerous?"
"Are there people like us here?"
"What is going to happen to those still in the compound?"
What? No, Patrick is with the renegades.
Oh, yes children, there really are. ;)
Most of the subjects and the few counselors stand in silence. Jonathan looks to his sides and finds his old bunk there beside him, with the addition of Patrick. A question burns inside Jonathan, so he asks it. "Are there people with special abilities here too?" His eyebrows fold upwards in look of anxiety and curiosity.
Dr. Napier looks Jonathan in the eye. "Yes. Some are good-hearted, other more volatile, while others may be neither. I don't think anyone in this city knows of you kids. They will not be as kind as any of the doctors, or even instructor Arthurs." At the instructors name she furrows her brow as if remembering something.
Chip raises his hand and asks, "What about people without abilities, like you?"
Dr. Napier smiles, "Most people here do not have abilities like you subjects. You will be very special here." She releases a sad sigh and places her hands on her hips. "But, we should get going."
The group of subjects and counselors follow Dr. Napier down the sidewalk, earning strange looks from civilians on the street. Even some people in their cars, driving peer to catch a glance of the children in dingy white jumpsuits following the middle-aged brunette woman in a labcoat and skirt. The subjects looked up at the sky and down at the street and sidewalk as they moved along. This is a strange and new world, and the future was promising, if not shrouded by insecurity.
"The warmth feels pretty good." Rahm mutters, with a weak smile. Jonathan turned to grin at his bunkmate. It was the first time he had heard him him talk by his own choice in a while.
"Yeah, and the space above looks nice." Jonathan looks up at the blue sky.
Dr. Napier couldn't keep the smirk from forming on her face. "That's the sun and sky. You'll learn more when we reach our destination."
A dull chatter took hold of the group as they followed Dr. Napier. Jonathan looks over at Patrick, "So, how did you end up with Jeri? I was afraid you wouldn't make it."
Patrick's face turns to a faded fear. I woke up to people fighting in my bunk, and the door was open. I knew it wasn't right to be woken up like that, or for the door to be open, and people were fighting outside too. I ran out and saw Jeri, and he had me help him get through the crowd. We ran down to a part of the compound I had never seen before, and we escorted Dr. Napier down the hallways, and then we found you." Patrick grips Jonathan's shoulder. "We're both very lucky."
The renegades finally arrive, and stand before a large building with an open garage. Two women spar furiously, and a young man in his twenties wearing a black and white uniform sits on the curb. A large badge on his chest displays the letter 'Q' and a black spade. The man takes notice of the group before they do.
"Ah, hello there!" He gets to his feet, and places his hand out to shake for Dr. Napier. "Are you guys on a little field trip?" His short brown hair, and deep bown eyes are comforting. His skin is lightly tanned, but fair. He stands only a head taller than Dr. Napier.
"No, I was wondering if these children could take refuge here for a short while, sir." Napier frowns slightly.
"We're not an orphanage, ma'am. I could direct you to the local police station if-" The man is caught off before he can finish.
"These children are superhuman. They have never had families before, and haven't been in the public schooling system. And technically, they aren't even American citizens. I'm the closest thing to their guardian they have. They need the DECK program. They have astounding abilities. I'm sure you need more recruits." Dr. Napier does not waver in her speech, and stays firm in her standing.
The man frowns in defeat. "Yeah, we really do. Our training program is open as well, but-" The man runs his hand through his hair as he pauses. "-I'd have to speak with the patrol leader."
Napier smiles, and places a hand on his shoulder for a moment, "Thank you very much. You were our only chance. The young man blushes and nods before entering the building. He stops and turns around, remembering something.
"How many are there?"
"About forty." Dr. Napier does a quick mental head count.
The shrill voiced man returns to Instructor Arthurs, as he sits in his command chamber, reviewing footage of past duels on a computer. The shrill voiced man knocks outside of the door.
"Enter." Arthurs doesn't bother to pause the video.
"Sir, Napier is submitting the subjects to the DECK program."
"Why does it concern me?"
"We'll never get them back if she succeeds! I'm going to deploy the enforcers."
"And have our name tainted by attacking children enrolled in a public service program? Very wise." Arthurs turns to see the man flustered, and red.
"You're going to let them go?" The man almost yells, then forces himself to contain his anger.
"I already explained my position. Let them grow stronger. When the time is right, a test will be put in order."
The man rushes to say something, but cannot find the words to do so. "Yes, sir." He mutters weakly.
As the renegades wait, they sit on the curb and converse with one another. Jonathan, Chip, Bret, Jonathan and Rahm talk about their experiences escaping.
"I was sure you were dead." Chip smiled playfully.
"Yeah, there was no hope at all." Brett adds in all seriousness. Rahm nods dutifully.
"There's always hope with Jon." Patrick smiles.
Jonathan laughs lightly, "Very funny, you guys."
Only a few blocks away, the sounds of screams erupt, and the sounds of cars crashing can be heard. "I've never heard than many people scream before." Brett says, sadly. Chip stands, getting off the curb. He grabs Jonathan and pulls him up too.
"They're hurting." Chip stands, staring at a building that begins to burn.
Dr. Napier stands with her mouth covered. "I almost forgot what it was like up here." She starts to shed a few tears before wiping them away. Chip grabs her hand.
"We have to help them. Didn't you say that most people don't have abilities here?" Chip pleads as Napier shakes her head.
"No, it'll be too dangerous. There are people who are used to these things. That's what the DECK program is for. That is why I brought you all here."
The two women sparring, stop as soon as they hear the screams, and grab their uniforms from where they hung them. One opens a black rift, and the two step inside. An intercom activates before blaring it's message, "Super-powered aggressor located on Fine street. Threat level: Orange.
"Then what are we waiting for? We have to help!"
"You're right, we could get hurt."
"We can do it, if we all do it together.
I actually was thinking of putting a fourth option of, -"Why should we help them?"
So, I've been torn as to what the antagonist will be in the next page. Would you rather have it be some giant abomination of fused humans, or a gang of superhumans?
Why not both? A gang of giant fused human abomination!
A hideously grand idea.
Indeed, it's very ambitious.
A gangs of supers.
Go with the gang of super humans. That way the protagonist will be forced to prove he can beat multiple people than just one massive thing. More glory.
*slowly reading everything I've missed*
I think I'll do something like a hivemind.
I plan to! ^_^
Lol. I was afraid Mayana was going to be my only viewer for a while.
Nah, bro I got your back. I was just going through all the other posts.
What do you think so far?
I love it! I hope you make this into a storygame. Your idea of a superhuman dystopian world sounds great. This stuff has great potential for an EndMaster worth story!
P.s.I'm not the best guy when it comes to giving advice. Perhaps Stryker and others will offer better advice.
I mean, it's not a dystopia, just an average world containing superhumans. But, thanks!
Haha, you're too kind.
I'll get on it! Super-human amalgamation for the win!
Jonathan steps in front of the group, eyeing the flaming building, and listening to the pained screams. "We have to help them," Turning to the group, and more specifically Dr. Napier, "You said it yourself. Most people do not have special abilities. They're helpless."
"I didn't say they were helple-" Dr. Napier is cut off by Chip, who goes to stand by Jonathan.
"You're right! We can do it! We all know how to fight, it's all we really did in the compound!" Chip's brow furrows as he internalizes this piece of information. Jeri nods, and takes the shoulders of the two boys.
"As your counselor, I agree. We'll need all the help we can get, however." Jeri turns to the rest of the renegades, "We can do this, if we work as a coherent team." Patrick, Rahm, and Bret join Jonathan's group. "I'm glad you guys are up to the challenge."
Aaron rubs his neck, "I'll stay here with the remaining people. We'll be here if things get out of hand."
"Surely." Chip cracks.
"Be safe. Do your best, remember your teachings." Dr. Napier allows a nervous smile to show.
Jeri leads the group, and they advance towards the screams. The remaining renegades watch as the group leaves. A blanket of anxiety cloaks them all. The advancing group pass a few fleeing civilians with little regard. Jeri stops the boys as they reach the corner, hiding behind the brick wall. He turns to them, "Stick together. Watch each others backs. We have no idea what we'll be going up against. This is going to be new for all of us. Do well, all of you."
The five boys nod, ready to move. Jeri turns the corner to see the two women who were sparring before fighting together against three people in green, and a handful of civilians. The two women wear black and white uniforms, one has pale skin and black hair while the other has brown skin and curly hair. It was a miracle the boys could catch any features of the women, due to them moving so fast.
Jonathan catches the struggle between the curly-haired woman and a young man in a light green hooded sweatshirt, no older than Jeri. The man in the hoodie laughs as electricity courses through his body and into the body of the woman. "Not so tough, are you?" He strikes her across the face with a closed fist. Jonathan notices that the man in the hoodie holds a large rectangular bag, unmarked and pitch black.
The woman grunts as she shakes off the hit, delivering a leaping kick to the hooded man's chest. "You talk to much, Lime." Lime must be the name of that hooded man, Jonathan reasons. His outer garb was a shade of green he had never seen before.
"Y'know, It's really tempting to rip out one of these energy cores and kick your rear into place." Lime smiles as he coughs up some blood.
"Your funera-" The curly haired woman is struck over the head by a lead pipe, held in the hands of a dull eyed man. She only pushes the man away, and resumes her fight with Lime.
The raven-haired woman is locked in an intense fight between a different young man in a dark green tank-top. Small and sharp spikes protrude from his skin, especially his arms. The boys have never seen or had even heard of thorns before, and think these spikes to be especially peculiar. Left, right, duck, and then a crippling strike is delivered to the raven-haired woman. She doubled over, disappeared in a shroud of darkness only to re-appear behind the man, performing a leg sweep, knocking him over.
"You should probably call the rest of your patrol. You two are getting boring." A tall woman in a flowing green dress calls, with her eyes glowing. A crowd of civilians with the same glowing eyes amass around her, shuffling mindlessly.
-Help out the raven-haired woman
-Assist the curly-haired combatant
-Target the lady in the green dress
Mindless thralls are never a good sign. Not when they aren't your mindless thralls anyways.